Mmm. Cake.

This weekend Torsten and I went to two different bakeries for cake tastings. I'm almost sorry to say that we found our perfect cake at the first bakery, because it means there will be no more cake tastings necessary. Although given how much Torsten liked this part of the wedding planning process, I wouldn't be surprised if he dragged us out on a couple more cake tastings a few months down the road, just for the free, and delicious, cake.

Anyway, the second bakery that we went to--the cake was fine. It didn't taste much different from what you'd get at the grocery store. The flavors were overly sweet and a bit too strong. The frosting was dense and heavy like cream cheese.

But the first bakery. Oh my god, the first bakery. I managed to take a few pictures, but only a very few because I had to shove the camera aside in order to eat cake. It was just too much willpower to take tons of photos when presented with a fork and a plate like this:


The cake itself was incredibly light and moist, and very flavorful:


And the buttercream frosting was delicious and fluffy and not face-twistingly sweet:


The baker was also really nice and when we showed her a picture of the cake we wanted, she was totally able to accommodate exactly what we were thinking in terms of design. She cooks everything from scratch using only natural ingredients, and you can tell. And her price was very reasonable.

So! Our baker is booked. The cake will have three tiers, each a different flavor: amaretto, yellow cake with fresh strawberries, and chocolate cake with raspberry filling. Mmmmmmmm. Believe me, I will be taking a temporary Weight Watchers hiatus on our wedding day.

And the design? Well, at the moment I don't want to share actual pictures, because I'd like to reserve some teensy element of surprise (I realize that I'm a bit late on this one after showing off my wedding dress to everyone except the groom) for those friends of mine who read this blog and will actually be at the wedding. So, I'm limiting myself to descriptions, at least for now.

The cake will be frosted in white with different sized purple dots all over. Each tier will have a purple ribbon tied around its base. There will not be bows. And there will be a cake topper. I was opposed, but Torsten had a strong opinion about wanting a bride and groom on the cake, so we looked for something that was a little more original than a stiff pose in an arch.

And we found the perfect thing--a hand painted, porcelain bride and groom designed to sit on the top of the cake with their bare feet dangling off the sides, heads tilted toward each other like they're just about to kiss. It is DARLING. And relaxed, and fun, and a little bit different from the norm, exactly like we want our wedding to be.

There is one question about the cake that we haven't yet resolved, though, and that's where I need your help. We have the option with our cake of either buttercream or fondant as the frosting. Fondant, for those of you who aren't in the know about the intricacies of cake decorating, is essentially stiff sugar paste that doesn't taste nearly as good as buttercream frosting but gives a nice, smooth look to the cake.

If we use fondant, there will be a layer of buttercream frosting directly underneath, so we won't lose its flavor or goodness. So the question is really an aesthetic one. To illustrate, I downloaded two photos from The Knot.

First, the fondant. See how smooth and matte it is, with the edges of each tier slightly rounded?


Now, the buttercream. See how it has a high shine and the edges of each tier are very sharply done?


I truly do not know which one I prefer. Originally I thought I definitely liked buttercream because I like those sharp edges, but then I thought I preferred fondant because it looks so smooth and not as shiny. And now I just don't know. So now I'm turning to you, as always, for help. Which do you prefer?

Dear everybody

Dear Curly Haired Readers,

We all know that I am a big fan of curly hair. And if you are one of the many who mentioned that you are going to try out my Miracle Product, I salute you. I wish you the best. But I feel compelled to warn you. A friend of mine with wavy/curly hair once asked me to do her hair to make it look like mine. So we took her through the exact same process that I go through every day.

(If you're curious: Wash and condition your hair. Wring it out and comb it. Squirt a quarter-size dollop of Miracle Product in your palm. Rub palms together. Rake them through your hair. Bend over at the waist and scrunch your upside-down hair with a small towel, preferably not a fluffy one. Stand up straight and do a bit more scrunching. Do not touch again for the rest of the day.)

And the hair, it looked... well, it wasn't awful. But it certainly wasn't Miraculous. It was very disappointing.

So I'm just warning you. It's the Miracle Product for me. And I hope it will be for you too. But the same way that foams and creams and serums don't work for me, the Miracle Product might not work for you. And please, if you try it, let me know whether it was Miraculous for you too.

Love,
Your partner in curls


Dear Groundhog Day,

What is your point? Why do you exist? The two outcomes are either an early winter OR six more weeks of winter. Meaning that there should never be more than six weeks of winter after February 2, right? But here we are at the end of March and it is STILL WINTER. What is the DEAL?

Sourly,
The girl who has still not recovered from her birthday weekend snowstorm


Dear Weight Watchers,

I love you again. For awhile I was struggling, feeling like I had hit a plateau and not knowing how to keep moving forward. And I was grumpy that I couldn't just shove whatever I liked into my mouth. But then I snapped back into it, started a diet journal on Swistle's recommendation, and am pressing forward again. And I feel better. And I'm not focusing on numbers anymore. Or the wedding. I'm so glad I found a wedding dress that can be altered as much as necessary, and was able to order it in a size that will fit me even if I don't lose any more weight, so I don't have to worry. The focus is back on health. Thanks for forcing me back on track.

Gratefully,
Your newly re-devoted member


Dear Bakeries We Are Visiting This Weekend,

Please, please, please tell me that your wedding cake is as good as everyone says. And that you can make a purple wedding cake. One that is really, truly purple (at least on the outside). And doesn't cost $20 per slice.

Droolingly,
A cake-tasting novice


Dear Friday,

I love you. Thank you for arriving so quickly this week.

Signed,
Your sleep-deprived devotee

Curl jelly

People, a miracle has occurred.

You know how as soon as you find that perfect product, no matter what it is, it gets discontinued and you don't find out about it until it's too late to stock up? No, you don't know? That only happens to me? Well, whatever. My point is, that happens to me alarmingly often. And the worst was when my hair gel got discontinued.

I had gorgeous corkscrew curls when I was little. And then I got a haircut when I was five that changed everything. From age five through sixteen, my hair was a curlyish, frizzy mess. And I had no idea how to take care of it. I got cheap haircuts from people who didn't have the first clue about curly hair, who gave it blunt cuts, used blow dryers without diffusers, refused to do layers, thought bangs might be nice. I actually brushed my hair when it was dry (which, for those of you with naturally perfect, shiny, straight hair who might not know this, destroys curls, and turns them into hideous, frizzy messes).

But when I was sixteen, everything changed. I had my own money, and I splashed some of it out on a real haircut in an actual salon. The woman who cut my hair had curly hair herself. This was previously unheard of to me. When she asked what I wanted, I told her I wanted hair like hers, only shorter. She looked at my hair for a long time, then said, "You got it."

And she was RIGHT. And the reason she was right was because of a miracle product that she used on my hair, and then sold to me for the amazing price of $9 per bottle. It was made by Goldwell and it was called Glaze. It was essentially a liquid gel, and all I needed was to rub a bit in my hands, then run my hands through my wet hair. Then I scrunched it a bit with a towel and when it dried--well, it wasn't exactly the corkscrews of my childhood, but it was real curls, and not frizzy ones, either. I was hooked.

At one point I had a minor scare when Goldwell discontinued the glaze, but it turned out they had just repackaged it as Liquid Gel and increased the price to $12. When I moved away from North Carolina (and this was before the days of buying everything online), I hunted all over to find more. I actually made a day trip to New York once for the sole purpose of stocking up. (Although I had some amazing plum-flavored lemonade while I was there that made the trip even more worth it.)

And then, almost two years ago, my gel was discontinued. I really think that shouldn't be allowed. People NEED their hair products, you know? You spend years and years finding that perfect product, and once you've found it, you need to know that you will always be able to have it. Goldwell yanked away my security blanket when they discontinued that product, and my trust still hasn't been restored.

Anyway, so I spent the next year searching for a replacement, and as a result my bathroom cabinet is full of barely-used mousses, creams, serums, firm gels, and any number of other useless products. I finally settled on Aveda confixor, a liquid gel that did the job but not quite as well. Basically, the Aveda gel still leads to the occasional bad hair day, and the Goldwell gel never allowed that, ever. And if that's not the definition of a miracle product, I don't know what is.

So even though I've had this inferior substitute, I've always been on the lookout for something else, something magic that is as good as my old Goldwell. So on a whim about a week ago, I wandered onto the Goldwell website and checked out their curly hair products. And at the very top of the page, with a little red banner proclaiming that it was new, hiding under the name of "Curl Kick," was a liquid gel!

I am telling you, I almost threw a party right then and there. But I was still afraid that it would turn out not to be the same as the old product, so I restrained myself and ordered a bottle off Amazon. It was $16, so almost twice the cost of the original glaze. But it arrived on Tuesday, and yesterday I used it for the first time.

And it's the SAME. It has the same amazing effect of taming my hair without flattening it. And it has the same smell. As soon as I opened the bottle and got a whiff, I knew I had found it. I'm no longer worried about bad hair days. I'm no longer worried that my hair will go wrong on my wedding and look terrible in all the photos. I'm not worried about anything. It's amazing what a good hair product can do for a girl. To top it all off, yesterday, for the first time in quite awhile, a complete stranger complimented me on my hair.

And yes, I did just write a whole post about hair gel. And now I'm off to order a million more bottles, because even though this is a new product, you just never know. And I'm done taking chances.

Home disco

I'm not sure whether my mom reads my blog or not--she certainly knows I have one, but I have no idea if she actually reads it. So, just in case: Mom, if you're reading this, stop, because I'm about to talk about your birthday present and I don't want to ruin the surprise.

Okay, now that's out of the way. We need to discuss the gift that I have purchased for my mother for her birthday, which was last Friday (two days before mine), but which will not be celebrated by us until we see each other in person in May.

A little background: my mother loves blue. Like, really loves it. Loves it as much as I love purple. Loves it to the point where she owns a gift store that sells only items in shades of blue. Yes, for real. Because she's that cool.

So, of course, we always purchase blue gifts for her. But the problem with her owning this store is that she has the option of ordering whatever catches her fancy at wholesale prices. This ability combined with years of blue gifts from everyone her life has made her a somewhat difficult person to shop for.

However. Sometimes she throws us a bone and tells us about something she'd like to have. The particular item that I got her this year is something she mentioned to my sister a year ago, so the hope is that she won't be expecting it because it's been so long. And it's a damn good thing she mentioned it, because believe me, it is the last thing I would ever, seriously EVER, consider buying for her.

The item is something that she saw at the club where she and my dad take dance lessons. I guess the instructors had one and my mom saw it and liked it. And requested it. She actually brought a camera to the club and took a picture of it so that it would be easier to track down. And I'm glad she did, because even with the photo, it took me forever to figure out the right search terms to find it online.

But did I ever find it. What is it, you ask? Well, it's difficult to describe. Basically, it's a form of special effects lighting designed for DJs and dance clubs. It's a stand with two balls that spin and emit different colored lights. It's this. But I don't think it can adequately be described in words. So let's use pictures. First, the stock photo from Amazon:


Now, since we won't be giving my mom this gift until May, we wanted to go ahead and set it up to make sure it worked. And we took the opportunity to take a couple photos of our own. Behold, the DJ light in action:


And another shot of the ambiance it creates:


Yes, that's right. My mother's wish for her birthday this year was to create a disco in her living room. And with this gift, she shall richly succeed.

Third time is apparently not the charm.

Well, the time has come. I had to cave in and add a "flowers" category to my blog. I know I thought I wouldn't. My OCD standards for a blog category require that there be a minimum of five relevant posts before the category can be created. And now--unfortunately--I have reached that minimum with the flowers.

As we all know, my birthday was on Sunday. So Torsten tried to send me flowers, purple ones, to arrive at my office on Monday morning. Yes, he paid extra for guaranteed morning delivery.

I hardly even need to write the rest of this post, right? You all know how it ends, don't you? But I'm going to continue anyway.

First of all, let it be noted that the company from whom he ordered the flowers was a new one, Proflowers, and decidedly not the Company That Shall Not Be Named Lest They Find This Post and Send Me Yet Another Ridiculous Apology Bouquet. And let it also be noted that Proflowers is not at fault here. In fact, they were great. Better than the other two flower companies we have dealt with recently.

Anyway, Torsten ordered beautiful purple flowers, only to discover that they were to be delivered FedEx, which, to be fair, was not made clear on the website when he ordered. So, fine, we can deal with FedEx. But FedEx claimed they attempted to deliver the package at nine yesterday morning and couldn't because the elevator was broken. Except that it wasn't. I called and they were very sorry. They'd try to deliver again. The courier came back. Again, he said the elevator was broken. I called FedEx back. Again, they were very sorry. But there wasn't anything they could do.

I called my office building's package room and asked if the elevator was broken. I was told that it was not, and that even if it were, there were about nine other ways for delivery people to get into the building. Furthermore, I was told, FedEx had already showed up that morning and delivered a bunch of packages. Mine, of course, was not among them.

I called FedEx back. They were very sorry. They called the local facility, told them that the elevator wasn't broken, and requested that the package be sent out that afternoon. It wasn't. Of course it wasn't. So I called FedEx back. You might be noticing a pattern here, but they were very sorry.

But the thing that really pissed me off? They didn't offer a solution. They didn't say the driver could call me from down at the bottom of the supposedly broken elevator so I could come down and meet him. In fact, their drivers don't have phones. They couldn't guarantee that the package would be delivered. If I wanted to be sure I would get the package, I'd have to conjure up a car and drive way out to the middle of nowhere to their warehouse and pick it up myself. Which, I informed them, was not exactly how I intended to spend my birthday night.

Okay, I fudged the date a little. But they were my damn birthday flowers and no way in hell was I going to use good Zipcar money and hours of my time going to pick them up. And this was where it got frustrating. They just did not have a solution. They had no response. They understood that I could not come pick up the package myself, and--again!--they were very sorry. But they could not guarantee that my package would arrive. And they had no alternative proposal for how to get it to me.

It's amazing, isn't it? I work in a normal office building in downtown DC and the premiere worldwide delivery company, the one that people trust with irreplaceable, confidential, time-sensitive documents, can't even get me a simple package of flowers? After four phone calls? And they don't seem to care? I wonder how many private landfills they have filled with people's packages that just never got delivered because of some inane technical snafu.

And what really gets me is that this is ALL they do. They have a single service that they provide, and they can't even do that correctly. This is not the first time they have messed things up for me. My passport (not to mention my birth certificate and other important papers) sat in their warehouse for a month and nobody knew where it was--and when I finally found out about the situation, they tried to CHARGE ME MONEY to fix it.

And they once inexplicably delivered a package of mine to a building down the street--and the amazing thing was that once I figured out how it happened, and I figured it out myself without any help from them, they still REFUSED TO HELP. They claimed they would go back, pick it up from the wrong place, and deliver it to me. BUT THEY DIDN'T. And they didn't bother to tell me they weren't going to, either. Instead, I had to find the other place and pick the package up from them myself.

It is just mind-boggling to me that FedEx gets away with this kind of behavior given the nature of a lot of the items that they are charged with delivering safely. If anyone is interested in some sort of class-action lawsuit, or at least an expedition to find the Graveyard of Lost FedEx Packages, let me know and we'll see if we can build a coalition.

Anyway, luckily Proflowers was a lot more accommodating than FedEx was. Not only did they issue a full refund, but they also ordered a replacement bouquet to be sent. Plus the original bouquet, if it hasn't died from overheating in the FedEx warehouse overnight, is still theoretically scheduled to show up. Of course, nothing has arrived yet. But still. A replacement AND a refund? THAT is good service. FedEx should take a cue from them.

Birthdays are better than Easter.

So, we didn't exactly pick the best weekend to travel to Chicago, weather-wise. But I can't help when my birthday is. Still, the snow on Friday was pretty unfortunate.


So Friday was not exactly the day for outdoor sightseeing, which was too bad because Chicago has a double-decker bus tour and I love those. Still, we had fun shopping, and then we met up with two fabulous Chicago bloggers, Nilsa and pseudostoops, to watch the UNC game in a sports bar. We had an absolutely fantastic time, and both of those women are amazing people and now, amazing friends. I had never met anyone from blogland before, and I was really impressed at how well and how easily we got along. And also, they gave me the sweetest birthday present of a Dominican Republic travel guide, along with a map and magazine about Chicago to help us plan our weekend. All wrapped in purple paper, of course. Because they are fabulous and also very thoughtful. I'm only jealous that the two of them live near each other and get to hang out whenever they want.


The weather cleared up on Saturday, though it was not exactly balmy, so Torsten and I walked all over town, starting by taking the El up to a little shopping neighborhood near Lincoln Park. The sun was an incredibly welcome feeling. But we couldn't believe that the ticket machines only took cash and did not give change.


We walked down by the lake, which Torsten had never seen before, and it was very pretty, despite all the snow on the beaches and the incredible, slippery slush on all the walking paths. I love cities that are really on the water, and no, the Potomac doesn't make DC count. Walking along the lake made me really wish, even more than usual, that we had a dog.


We also tried to take the Ferris wheel on the Navy Pier, but for some inconceivable reason, it wasn't operating. Something to do with the open cars and ridiculous wind, perhaps? Hard to tell, but at least it was photogenic.


We capped off the trip with the obligatory trip up the tall building at night. It was no Empire State Building, but it was still very pretty. Although the view of the Navy Pier was another bitter reminder of the Ferris Wheel Ride That Wasn't. Oh, well. I'll just have to hold out for London's Millennium Wheel next month.


You can see the rest of the photos (pretty much all taken by Torsten) here.

I bet Chicago has better buses than DC.

This morning there was some sort of fire on the way to work. At least, I assume there was a fire because I can't think of any other reason why there would have been approximately 8793401981230874534 fire trucks and police cars on the street, as well as a big fire hose stretched right across the middle of the road. The same road that my bus was attempting to drive down in order to deliver me to work.

So with the fire hose blocking the road, we could do nothing but sit there for half an hour until traffic was allowed to move again. And by "we" of course I mean the drivers, because "we" the passengers COULD have gotten out of the bus, walked to the Metro, and gotten to work on time. That is, we could have taken the Metro if, and only if, our bus driver had let us off the bus. Which she did not, because we were not at an official bus stop. One passenger even claimed to be sick and said she had to get off the bus before she puked. Nothing doing.

Let's just hope that the crappy bus ride was just me getting travel issues out of my system early, because we are flying to Chicago this evening and I hear the weather isn't supposed to be great. I am so looking forward to this weekend. We have yet to figure out what we're going to do with ourselves between meals, but I do have a vague idea, and there's one thing I know--I will be taking your great advice and not thinking about wedding invitations at all. And speaking of, thank you guys so much for your response to my post yesterday. I was completely floored at the comments, emails, and IMs offering advice, suggestions, design help... you guys are so sweet. And yeah, I know it's only invitations. So, I'm going to take a break from thinking about them.

And instead, I'm going to think about Chicago! And the Magnificent Mile and the Navy Pier and Lake Michigan and the fun museums and shops and restaurants! And not about the crappy weather that is supposedly awaiting us! Does anyone have any suggestions for what we should do while we're there?

Invitation hell

It's only Wednesday but it's feeling like a very long week for me so far. I have been feeling surprisingly frustrated by the question of wedding invitations recently, and I think I'd be even more frustrated at this point if it weren't the fact that I had an unexpected but extremely successful meeting with a consultant at work yesterday that made me very happy. It is so nice to be in a job where you can actually have successes and highs that matter to you personally. I didn't have any sort of feeling of investment in my last job and it's a totally new experience for me with this one.

Still, though. This invitation thing is really driving me nuts. It seems that we are destined to never find an invitation that we like and can afford that can be done in purple and in two languages. We thought we had found the perfect invitation, and then the sample arrived, and while the paper and design concept were nice, the skyline looked bad. Like, messy photocopy bad. It just looked weird.

So now we are back to the drawing board and I don't know where to go. I have looked at every invitation vendor I can find, and either they cost too much, or they don't come in purple, or they aren't that nice, or they are only done in a flat, one-sided design that can't accommodate two languages. I've found a couple of things that are decent, but not special, and I want our invitations to be special.

And the dual language thing is frustrating, because it's not just the invitation itself--it's also the RSVP card and the information insert card. We just ignored the whole issue for the save-the-dates and did them only in English because the language there was simple and minimal, but for the actual invitations we really want both languages there so that everyone will understand, and also because we want both of our cultures and backgrounds reflected on our wedding invitation.

And I'm just letting the whole thing get to me and overwhelm me. I mean, it's just some stupid invitations, but I get so frustrated trying to figure out websites and how to order samples in the right color, and how to set up the wording and whether it costs extra to add the German. I have emailed and called so many different companies with queries and sometimes even when they respond, it isn't clear how I would place an order or specify my special instructions or add in the extra cost and it's just all so much and so, so detailed.

At this point, even when I find a new website that looks good, I can't even look at it, because just looking at a couple of options feels so exhausting. There are so many options and yet none of them is right and anything we do pick is going to have to be dealt with or modified in some way and I just don't have the energy to deal with that right now.

And also, I feel ridiculous whining about something so inconsequential, especially when every other aspect of the wedding planning has gone so smoothly for us. But seriously, WHERE are we going to find our invitations? I honestly have no idea.

I thought of making them ourselves, but I don't know where or how we'd print them, and I also really do not think that I am up to a DIY project of that magnitude, because I am not exactly crafty. Although I am certainly more crafty than Torsten is, which definitely does not help matters. I just know that if we try to make our own invitations we are going to wind up sitting on the floor of the apartment, covered with ribbon and glue dots and ready to kill somebody or call off the whole wedding and just elope. And we've already paid our deposits for a lot of vendors, so eloping now would mean wasting a lot of money.

Okay! I'm done whining now! Let's focus on the positive, which is that even though this week feels really long, it will be over tomorrow, because I'm taking Friday off for our little trip to Chicago. AND it's my birthday on Sunday. That's enough to make anyone feel better, right?

Looking ahead

This weekend I plucked one of my favorite books off the shelf and sat down to read it when Torsten noticed what I was doing and pointed out that he's seen me read that same book a million times. This is a concept that is totally foreign to him, because he has huge piles of books that he's been meaning to read for ages but never gotten around to. He would never read the same book twice when he has so much new material waiting for him.

I, on the other hand, read very fast. I finish books in one or two days. But I love to read the same book over again. That might be part of why I'm a good editor--because I can read the same thing over and over again and still absorb every word and still discover new things and new meanings in the text.

Still, though. He definitely had a point, and in a sudden rush of desire to read new things, lots of new things, every new thing I could get my hands on right then, I went on Amazon and bought 14 used books from their marketplace. The next day when we took our Sunday constitutional up to the local bookstore, I discovered the sale section in the basement and came away with five more cheap books.

And I am thrilled. I have stacked them up in a separate place so that I don't miss one, and I am working my way through the first one already. Although I have to admit, the first one that I picked up is neither used nor a sale book. I paid full price. Because I really wanted to have it.

It's The Complete Book of International Adoption. And no, we don't plan on adopting or conceiving a child anytime soon. But I am so, so interested in the topic. And the book isn't just a step-by-step guide on the adoption process, although it does have that and I'm interested in that too. It also has lots of information about adoption in general, and factors to consider, and whether or not it's right for you. I'm not there yet, but it has a whole chapter on transracial adoption, which some of you might remember is an issue that I've discussed before. It talks about domestic adoption too and some of the differences. It has so much information. And I am devouring it.

Interestingly, it noted that in most families that adopt, there's one partner who drives the adoption more than the other. Not that the other partner is necessarily opposed or even reluctant. But that usually there is one person who has a stronger interest in adoption, and that is the person who usually drives the effort and does the research, at least in the beginning.

That is definitely the case with us. We are both interested in adopting and I don't even remember which of us brought it up first. But it's something that I've thought about for year, whereas the concept is relatively new to Torsten. And it's something that I already want to learn about, whereas Torsten would never have thought to buy a book about adoption now, given that if we do decide to adopt one day, it won't be for several years at the very least.

But what can I say? I like to plan ahead, apparently. Because I also bought a book about raising your children bilingual. And no, I am NOT pregnant.

Tidbits

1. It pisses me off a little how competitive my work volleyball team is. I want to win too, I really do. But it's supposed to be fun. Winning the league means nothing. And yeah, I'm one of the worst players on the team because all I know how to do is hit and I can't do that on a men's height net, which basically neutralizes me. But still, I'd like to play my allotted games without feeling like my teammates resent me for being on the court.

There are nine players and three games, so math would dictate that everyone sit out one game, right? But I always feel compelled to sit out two because they want to win so badly and I feel like a liability. And if I don't come forward and volunteer to sit out a second game, I can totally feel them waiting for it to happen. And the exasperation. And geez, I'm not THAT bad. I can set decently and I usually bump a received serve somewhere in the vicinity of the setter. And I can serve. So come on, can't we all just calm down? This is supposed to be a fun way to get some exercise and meet some new people, not an ubercompetitive pro league.

2. Swistle asked me to do a guest contribution for her baby names blog, and of course I agreed. I was especially excited about it because the post I worked on was for Devan, and I love her. The post is up, so go vote and help Devan decide what to name her baby!

3. J.M. Tewkesbury of The Chronicles of Tewkesbury tagged me for a meme where you are supposed to write a six-word memoir. I struggled with it a lot more than I expected to, but I finally came up with something. I was going to say it was halfway decent, but I'm not sure (and I definitely played fast and loose with the word "memoir"). Regardless, here it is:

Need baby; will settle for dog

What about you? You don't necessarily have to stick to exactly six words, but can you write me a one-line memoir in the comments?

Booked!

So, it seems that I've been having good luck with major companies recently, what with all the free flowers and whatnot. So when it came to planning our honeymoon, I decided to press my luck.

What happened was, Torsten and I decided, after taking all of your sage advice into account, to go to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon, and to leave on the Monday after the wedding. I'll just vote by absentee ballot and it'll be fine. So, we did a whole bunch of research on various resorts, ratings, prices, and so on.

And we finally, finally found just one resort that matched all of our criteria. It's all-inclusive. It's adults-only, which is very important to me after a heinous experience involving children jumping and crawling ON US in the HOT TUB at our hotel in Miami in December. It has a variety of restaurants to choose from. It has a private beach and a nice pool. It gets only glowing reviews. All the rooms have a balcony with a hammock. And every room has an oval jacuzzi tub.

The only thing is that the rooms, while they do have nice views, are not directly oceanfront, which Torsten is a bit disappointed about. But he agreed to overlook this small flaw in exchange for me promising to spend lots of time on the balcony with him, as long as I get to be in the hammock.

See, Torsten LOVES balconies. When we were in Miami, he spent half the trip on the balcony, reading and admiring the view, and he was really annoyed because I preferred to lie in the comfy bed in the room instead of sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chair on the balcony. But since this balcony has a hammock, I'm perfectly willing to spend my time out on the balcony instead. I don't think I can adequately express how excited I am about this hammock. I think you need to see for yourselves:


Oh and also, while we're showing pictures, take a look at this room:


See that beige cutout wall behind the bed? That's the tub area. With the jacuzzi tub. And a towel folded into the shape of a swan. Yes, that's right. It's the little things that count.

Anyway, so. As I was saying. The other thing that's great about this hotel is that the price is right. November is still the low season, so we were able to get a great rate from Orbitz. But the thing was that there was an even better rate available from a website that seemed just a tad bit sketchy. It set itself up as though it was the official website of the hotel, but it actually wasn't. And that made me a little worried. And the price was just so low. It was $500 less than the Orbitz price for the whole trip. And the Orbitz price was already great!

So yeah, it seemed good to be true. And you know what they say--if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. But it was so much money we could potentially save if it DID turn out to be legit. So we went back and forth and back and forth about whether or not we should just suck it up and pay the extra money for the Orbitz reservation so that we wouldn't have to worry about showing up at the hotel and being told we didn't have a reservation. We could not decide what to do.

And THEN. I went back on Orbitz and noticed a little graphic next to the rate they quoted. And that graphic read, "Low price guarantee." I looked into it, and the way it works is that if you make a prepaid hotel reservation through Orbitz, on a rate that is labeled as low price guarantee (and you have to be careful because they are not all backed by that guarantee), and then email them within 24 hours with a cheaper rate that you found online somewhere else, with proof (in the form of a screenshot of the website quoting the lower rate and a list of specific information that they request), they will refund you the difference.

Wait, hold on. It's starting to feel like intermission time here. Let's take a quick photo break so we can look at THIS:


Yes, that's the beach RIGHT BY OUR HOTEL. Yes, it really is. Oh, and you want to see the pool, too? You're sure? Fine, TWIST MY ARM.


So! Back to the Orbitz story. We figured there were three possible outcomes:
1) We book through Orbitz, they look into the rate, they discover that cheap website is a scam. In which case Orbitz really does offer the lowest rate and there's no money lost.
2) We book through Orbitz and they somehow find a loophole to avoid issuing us the refund, in which case we pay the $25 cancellation fee and book directly through the cheaper website, assuming we can somehow verify that it's legitimate.
3) We book through Orbitz and then they honor their guarantee and give us the lower rate.

And guess which outcome actually occurred? If you guessed Number 3, you're right! We booked the hotel on Wednesday night, then immediately filed a claim with their Low Price Guarantee Department, and last night we got an email saying that they will be crediting $500 back to our credit card within the next 3-5 business days.

So now we have the cheapest hotel rate EVER for a resort that is verified by hundreds of reviews on TripAdvisor as FABULOUS. A gorgeous room with a gorgeous balcony on a gorgeous beach with a gorgeous pool. Unlimited alcohol, including a swim up bar, and the only kind of hotel minibar that you don't have to worry about consuming from because it's ALL INCLUDED. Our choice of six restaurants every day. Hours and hours on the beach, relaxing and being together. Volleyball, water aerobics, painting classes, tennis, snorkeling, and salsa dance classes. In short, the perfect first trip together as a married couple. PERFECT.

And it's BOOKED. It's all set. My only question is, how are we going to survive SEVEN AND A HALF WHOLE MONTHS before we get to go? Because it's going to be TWO WEEKS OF PARADISE. And I cannot wait.

The Flower Saga, Part... I've Lost Count

So, I realize that most of you probably don't read my blog just to hear about my adventures in floral delivery. But something happened yesterday that I have to talk about.

Note: for those of you who may have missed the first parts of this saga, the story is as follows: Torsten tried to get me flowers for Valentine's Day and it didn't work out. Then he tried to send me makeup flowers and it still didn't work out. Then 1-800-Flowers found my blog and sent me free flowers as an apology. End of story.

Until yesterday. Because yesterday, this arrived. And in case you're too lazy to click on that link, let me show you a picture:


See how pretty? Yes? You do? So do I. Except that the actual flowers sitting next to me on my desk are about 23984387 times prettier than they look in that picture. And the arrangement is gigantic. Seriously, it's massive.

At first I thought they might have been in response to the comment I made in the last post about this, when I said I wondered why they had chosen to send the medium bouquet instead of the large. But then I thought, actually not, because these new flowers weren't purple, and I also mentioned in the last post that the other flowers weren't purple. (And no, 1-800-Flowers, if you are reading this, this is NOT a plug for you to send me a free purple bouquet!) So then I decided that maybe there was some sort of glitch, like two different people had been assigned the task of sending the apology flowers and hadn't coordinated with each other properly.

But then I read the note that accompanied the flowers. In it, the president of the company said that they "wanted to apologize again in a big way." And I'm pretty sure that wording was intentional. And then I emailed the guy who started this whole thing to thank him, and when he wrote back, he said, "Our pleasure--we took your point to heart."

So from that I've concluded that these new flowers were in fact a response to my point about the last bouquet being the medium instead of the large. And now I feel a bit picky and princessy. But on the other hand, I have another gorgeous bouquet of flowers on my desk. This time they had the sense to remove the card that said the name and size of the bouquet, so I can't know for sure that it's the large. But it is really enormous. And absolutely beautiful. So I'll take it.

Anyway, this (I assume) concludes the ongoing saga of my Valentine's Day flowers. And a good thing, too--I was thisclose to having to create a "flowers" category on my blog.

I love makeup.

I love everything about makeup.

I love how it transforms a face. I love how it can make someone barely recognizable or highlight their features so that they look even more like themselves. I love how malleable it is, how all different types of makeup can be combined with totally different effects.

I love the texture of makeup, lipstick that is slick and shiny or lipstick that is matte, with the slightest sticky edge to it. The powdery collection of mineral foundation in the bottom of the pot. The dusting of eye shadow particles that cling to the fleshy part of the brush. The way lip liner pencils look rough but are actually smooth and waxy.

I love the dimensions it gives to a face. I love wet look lip gloss and how it makes lips look glassy and reflective. I love how it powder blends into skin and I love how it can shimmer. I love the contrast of dark eyeliner against clear eyes. I love how there are unending combinations, how the same lipstick can be demure or bold, depending on the rest of the makeup on the face.

I've loved makeup since my childhood experimentations with my sister's collection turned into an obsession with Kevyn Aucoin and a teenage desire to attend school for makeup artistry. Because makeup is an art. Both the application of it and the photographing of it, either on someone's face or on its own.

I'm so glad I'm a woman and can wear makeup without taboo. I feel bad for men, because they don't have the option of sprucing up their faces without drawing scorn. They're stuck with what they have--no contouring and highlighting. No hours spent in Sephora looking dreamily at all the options. No makeovers with friends and devouring of makeup tips in fashion magazines.

I love doing my own makeup. I completely subscribe to the theory that it's best to highlight just one feature on the face at a time, even though a couple of fashion magazines have recently been flouting that concept. And the feature that I highlight is almost always my eyes. I have my workday routine down pat. But I love breaking the routine for nighttime and on weekends.

I love discovering new products. I could own a whole closet full of makeup and I would still want new things. Brow gel? Liquid foundation? Primer? All new blush? I could spend days picking products for my lips alone. Lip liner? Matte lipstick? Glossy lipstick? Satin lipstick? Lip plumper? Lip exfoliant? Just the names are enticing, and the real thing even more so.

My makeup style is to focus on my eyes and play down the rest of my face--just eye concealer and tinted moisturizer for my skin and a subtle tint, usually something pink or coppery, for my lips. But even though my daily makeup routine is pretty much locked in, I love to experiment. I have lots of different looks for non-office occasions. And I always want more.

So tell me, what's your favorite beauty product? And what's your makeup style?

Bus shelter benches

So, recently the District of Columbia has undertaken a project to replace all of the crappy old bus shelters in the city with a shiny, modern version.

Now, in general this is a good thing. The old bus shelters? Well, not every stop had a shelter, for one thing. And they were generally old and rusty and most of them didn't have any information posted on them, and some of them didn't have benches. So a new, informative, clean (for now) shelter seems like a good idea. See?


But I do have a complaint about these new shelters. My complaint is that the benches suck. And this is a bigger issue than it seems at first.

So what's wrong with the benches? Well, they are very narrow, and they're also rounded at the sides, and they also have raised notches demarcating the seats (three in total). In short, they aren't comfortable, even to sit on for a minute. And if ever a bench should be designed with comfort in mind, it's in a DC bus shelter, given that often one has to sit there for a very long time because DC buses are not exactly known for their punctuality.

But this is not some accidental design error. No, the Washington Post quotes someone from the District Department of Transportation as saying that they wanted benches that were comfortable (whoops) but "discouraged long-term occupancy." In other words, DC doesn't want homeless people sleeping in their bus shelters.

I understand that having homeless people sleeping in bus shelters is less than ideal. But I think that comes from a larger problem. Having homeless people sleep in parks is less than ideal. Having homeless people sleep on the sidewalk is less than ideal. Having homeless people sleep ANYWHERE is less than ideal because people being homeless AT ALL is the problem to begin with. I really do not think that homeless people consider a bus shelter bench to be the ideal bed, either.

Originally, I thought this was a huge waste of money on the part of the District, money that could be better spent improving or expanding homeless shelters, for example. But the article in the Post says that the bus shelters are maintained by Clear Channel in exchange for control of the ad space, and that this contract to replace them is actually worth $150 million to the city.

In which case, one would think, some of that money could be used to address the homelessness problem in the city, right? Since we are apparently trying to kick homeless people out of our bus shelters? But no, the money is going toward DC's street improvement initiative. Another worthy project, of course. But I tend to think that providing for the basic needs of the worst-off people in the city is more important than a road improvement project. At the very least, the money could be split among multiple projects.

But instead this whole thing seems to me to be just another instance of marginalized citizens being pushed even further aside in DC's quest to make the city seem shiny, happy, and scrubbed clean.

What do you think?

Five travel things

I hope that everyone had a great weekend. Personally, I spent most of it at home after being sick on Friday. Torsten was also sick--he seems to be about a week behind me on the same cold. But after lots of sleep we are both feeling a lot better than we were on Friday. And we have decided to go to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon. So that is an exciting decision made.

Also, you guys all had really interesting things to say about the whole "not that into you" question on Friday. From your comments, I drew a basic conclusion: sometimes needing space is a legitimate concern. But a bunch of conflict-avoiding types have ruined it for the rest of us. And if someone says they aren't interested in dating right now, unless they have just gotten out of a serious relationship, then what they really mean is they aren't interested in dating you right now.

See? I learn so much from you guys.

Now, onto today's actual subject: I was tagged by Shelly at notthedaddy to share five facts about myself. It seems that everybody who does this meme selects a particular theme to focus on. Since I have been so honeymoon-focused recently, I think I'll make mine about travel.

1. I have been to three of the seven continents: North America, Europe, and Africa. My goal is to visit all seven. For Antarctica, I want to do one of those really cool cruises that cost five figures. This will clearly have to wait until I win the lottery. Also, did you guys know that in Europe, conventional wisdom holds that there are only five continents? Antarctica doesn't count and North and South America are considered as one. If you try to argue with anyone about that, they will tell you, "But they're connected!" The fact that Europe and Asia are a hell of a lot more connected does not seem to matter.

2. I have been to 35 of the 50 US states. Almost all of the states I haven't visited are in the midwest or northwest. Of the states I haven't yet visited, Alaska is on the top of my places I want to see, followed by Wyoming and Colorado. Torsten and I would love to do a US road trip but we are more interested in the western half of the country, starting at about the Dakotas, so that would be a lot of wasted driving between here and there.

3. When I was one year old, my family drove from my aunt and uncle's house in Washington state to California in two days. Apparently I cried the entire first day. Literally, the whole way, which was at least ten hours in the car, until we stopped at a hotel for the night. The next day when my parents put me back in my car seat, I started crying again, and then gave up. I am surprised I didn't wind up in a cardboard box on the side of the highway somewhere in Oregon.

4. I wish Asia weren't so far away, because it has most of the countries that I really want to visit. Specifically, Japan, China, and Thailand. And not just because of the cuisine, either.

5. I am still not used to traveling with just Torsten and planning the trips myself. It is such a difference from a family vacation where my parents planned everything. Not that they didn't do a good job planning our family trips. But it's a new feeling for me to be scheduling hotels, restaurant reservations, flights, and itineraries myself. I still kind of feel like I should call my mom to confirm our plans before I hand over my credit card. This makes me wonder if I will ever truly feel grown up.

Not that into you?

Last night I was on the bus after work and the girl in the seat in front of me was on her cell phone, clearly talking (loudly) to a girlfriend of hers. She had that tone of the sidekick friend, the one who soothes and explains and supports the main friend, the more demanding one, the diva. She was explaining that the friend needed to back off from a guy that the friend was clearly interested in, because he had made it clear that he wasn't interested in a relationship right now and needed his space. She was going on about it, softening what she was saying by talking about what a great guy he is and how he must like the friend because, after all, who wouldn't? And he's really nice and it's just that he needs some space right now.

The whole thing reminded me of that episode of Sex and the City where Berger gives Miranda his honest opinion that some guy who was giving her mixed messages just wasn't that into her, and Carrie is shocked and horrified that he would say such a thing, but Miranda is thrilled to hear it and basically has an epiphany about how guys, if they like you, make it clear, and if they hedge or seem confused, it basically means they just don't like you that much.

That was how I felt, hearing to the girl on the bus talking to her friend. That the guy who asked for his space just wasn't that into the friend. That the girl knew it, and I knew it, but that the friend didn't know it and didn't want to know it. And that the girl on the bus was totally faking it when she said things like oh he just needs his space and of course he likes you and just give it some time.

But obviously, I have no idea. It was half of a conversation that I happened to overhear. I could be totally wrong. Maybe the friend and the space-needing guy will wind up happily married for 70 years with tons of fat, adorable babies.

But it did make me wonder (and now I seriously sound like Carrie on SATC over here). When a relationship starts out with one person saying they just need some space, does it ever work out?

For me, it hasn't. I once hooked up with a guy who told me he wasn't looking for a relationship right then. Two weeks later he had a girlfriend. And guys who've told me they need their space have invariably wound up getting space and then some.

And with Torsten, it was different. I was the one who wanted to take it slowly, but I wasn't asking for space--just pacing. There was never any doubt, there were never any breaks, there was never any hedging. We liked each other, loved each other, made that clear to each other. It was simple.

I realize that some relationships are a whole lot more complicated than ours, that sometimes taking a break can really help things. For me, it's never been like that. But I'm trying not to judge other people's relationships based solely on my own past experience.

So I want to know. Have you ever had a relationship where somebody started out by saying they needed their space (or something similar)? Did the relationship wind up working out (and by that I don't necessarily mean that you are still together today)? Or do you think that SATC is right and if a person says they need their space, it's because they're just not that into you?

Humble pie

So, remember how Torsten sent me flowers on Valentine's Day and it didn't go so well? And how he tried to send make-up flowers a couple weeks later and it still didn't go so well? (Ha ha, like anyone could NOT remember that, given the fit I pitched.)

Well, apparently the thing to do if you're upset about something that happened with a company? Is to write a ranty blog post (or two) about it. Because 1-800-Flowers? Found my bitter posts about the flowers via Google Alerts. And sent me an apologetic email saying they'd like to send me flowers to make up for it if I would just give them my address. I was suspicious because, you know, someone on my blog asking for my address, etc. So I called 1-800-Flowers to verify that the person who sent me the email, a vice president of the company, was who he said he was. And I wound up on the phone with him. And we had a long chat. And he was a really nice guy. So I gave him my work address.

And yesterday? A gorgeous, fragrant bouquet of flowers arrived. In the morning. In a vase. From an actual florist. These flowers, to be exact (in medium--and can I just say that I find that weird? Why wouldn't they send the large one? I mean these are flowers from the president of a large company. And it's not like she even had to pay for them herself). The one thing is, they aren't purple. (Although actually, there are a couple of little purple flowers in the mix.) But I think that's because they only read the second post, which did not specifically mention purple. And despite not being purple, they are beautiful. And they smell really, really good.

So I'll stop looking a gift horse in the mouth now. I'm inclined to be a bit forgiving. That is some serious attention to customer satisfaction, there. And also, it was the president of the company who discovered my blog post. I like a hands-on CEO, I have to say.

So here's my revised opinion of 1-800-Flowers. They have two ways of doing things: florist and shipping. But they tell you with each bouquet which it will be. So if you order flowers from them, look for this image:


And STAY AWAY from this one:


I assume they sent me these flowers in part so that I'd write a positive post about them. But what can I say? It worked. Maybe it's the heady fumes of the flowers, but it feels like spring in my office, and I'm very happy about that.

Honeymoon help?

So, have we talked about anything except the wedding recently? No? That's what I thought too. Is that a problem? Well, let's hope not because I'm about to talk about it again. Hooray!

Sorry for the overload, but it feels like a lot of things have been happening all at once recently, and I would be a bad blogger if I didn't keep you all updated, right? Well, that's what I keep telling myself, anyway.

First of all, this weekend Torsten and I met with a potential officiant, and it went much, much better than last time. This guy is a Unitarian Universalist minister, and he does secular weddings too, and actually even though he's a minister and we are totally non-religious, we found that we had very similar views about people and morality and commitment. We talked for an hour and felt very comfortable and relaxed with him. We liked the sample ceremonies he gave us and I think we'll be able to come up with a ceremony that is very personal and intimate and emotional, very us. I mailed him the deposit yesterday, so that is one more thing done.

And also? Remember how the save-the-dates turned out not to meet my standards of purple? And how I was saying that it was a lesson learned because now I knew not to just order the invitations we had planned on without seeing a sample first? Well, it was a good thing that happened because the invitations? Although they were definitely a nice shade of purple? They felt very cheap and flimsy. And they just weren't that interesting.

So, we got back on the hunt and wound up finding what we both think is the absolute perfect invitation. We found it at this really cool website called Baron Cards. They don't have a DC one readily available, but they will customize the skyline for us for a $45 flat fee. So the ones we want will look like the one below, except with a DC skyline and the letters WDC, and also instead of "You're Invited" it will probably say "Jess & Torsten" or something similar.


Now, the last wedding-related thing I want to talk about is the one I actually need your advice on, and that's the honeymoon. As most of you know, we're getting married in November 1, which is three days before the presidential election. So, the first question is, after our wedding, do we leave on our honeymoon right away? Do I try to get an absentee ballot so I can vote in advance? And then would we watch the election returns from wherever we are, assuming that they are broadcast in English? Or, alternatively, do we wait a couple days before we leave? And if so, what do we do? Do we go back to work for those two days? Do we waste vacation days (of which we do not have a lot of extras) lying around at home? I seriously do not know what to do.

So then the other question is, where do we go? And how do we book it? The things we know are that we want to go somewhere warm and beachy, not in the US but also not too far away, and preferably somewhere all-inclusive. We are thinking either Mexico or the Dominican Republic at this point, although Panama and Brazil are also under consideration. But even once we pick a destination, how do we pick the resort? There are so many to choose from and they all sound great to me. And what's the best way to make it affordable? Do we find a travel agent? Can you get honeymoon deals on Orbitz or other travel discount websites?

And also, can you tell from all the questions that we have absolutely no clue what to do? It seems unfair that one is expected to plan the biggest party of their life AND one of the biggest trips of their life AT THE SAME TIME. It's just too much. Luckily, I have you guys to save the day! Right?

Eight months on Weight Watchers

I've been doing Weight Watchers for eight months now. And to be frank, it's getting a little dull.

It's still working. I lost almost four pounds last week. That's probably the thyroid hormone starting to work? If I lost four pounds every week I'd be thrilled. But I don't believe that I will. I guess check back in a month and see. But seriously? I doubt that will happen. I imagine I'll just keep on the way I am, losing 1-2 pounds almost every week.

And honestly? Consistency is boring.

For awhile I was traumatizing myself because I wanted to lose X amount of weight by the wedding. I was all freaking out whenever I didn't lose at least 8 pounds in a month because that was my target plan. But then I realized that's insane. I started Weight Watchers before I got engaged. I did it because I wanted to be healthy. I was trying not to focus on weight and numbers, but instead on health.

But it becomes so easy to be consumed by the scale. And the scale helps. It keeps me honest, it helps me stay on track, and it reminds me of what great progress I'm making.

But setting stupid goals like I have to lose eight pounds each month until my wedding is just ridiculous. What happens if I don't? I'll be ugly? Everyone will laugh as I walk up the aisle because I'm over Maximum Respectable Bride Size? Nothing.

In fact, what I learned when I tried on wedding dresses is that I will feel beautiful on my wedding day even if I don't lose another pound between now and then. Seriously. I don't know if it's the love and the emotion or just the great cut of the dresses or what, but I will feel good. I know that.

And now that I've bought a dress that can be altered as much--or as little--as necessary, I'm not worried about fitting into it. It will fit me when it arrives. If I'm smaller by my wedding day, I'll get it taken in. It will be fine. It will fit. It will look good on me.

So no more obsession with reaching a target weight by the wedding. I don't care how long it takes. I will lose all my excess weight eventually. It doesn't matter how much of it is lost before the wedding and how much is lost after. It will happen. Because I want to be healthy. And so that's what I'm going to keep focusing on. Because that's what this has been about since the beginning.

Snot-free

When I am sick and congested and my head feels clogged, basically all I can do is lie in bed and whimper. However, Torsten has introduced me to the wonders of nasal spray and the way it clears your congestion for at least long enough for you to take one or two beautiful, deep breaths before the next river of snot comes pouring down your nose and throat and everything is shot to hell.

The problem with the nasal spray is that I am very bad at spraying or touching things in my own face, particularly eyes, nose, and ears. I would like to do it but I can never quite work up the nerve. And the nasal spray in particular is the worst because you have to breathe in a certain way while you spray and I am already stressed about spraying something IN my nose which reminds me of drowning and the additional worry of having to breathe a certain way WHILE creating a drowning sensation for myself? Well, really it's just too much.

But Torsten is a hero. Because not only did he teach me about the beauty of nasal spray. He also takes that bottle, sticks it up my nose, waits for me to breathe correctly, and sprays. And then he tells me how cute I am when I jump. Which I do. Every time.

He will be a good father, I think. Don't you agree?

Also, ever since he first gave me the nasal spray on Friday afternoon, I've been feeling much better. This was probably helped out by the over 30 hours of sleep I got this weekend. By last night, I was feeling alert enough to actually focus on the NBA game that we were watching. And that's when I learned that I am sexist.

Yes, I hate female sportscasters. And not just the cute blonde ones who do the fluff color pieces by standing in the aisle interviewing the 30-year season ticket holders and distant relatives of the players. I'm talking about what appears to be ESPN's newest basketball commentator, a woman who talks about how Carmelo Anthony has a smooth shot and Tracy McGrady has found his sweet spot. She's a color analyst, I think, but she is not a fluff coverer like most female sportscasters. You can tell because they didn't show her on camera, looking cute and sexy, and because her voice is relatively low. She is clearly intended to be Taken Seriously.

And while I'm all about women breaking into male-dominated fields? I wanted to smack her every time she talked. She just sounded like such a fake. Even though what she was saying was TOTALLY REASONABLE. I was the one being unreasonable. She had interesting analysis and if it had been a man saying those things, I barely would have noticed.

But it wasn't a man, it was this woman, and every time she spoke, I twitched with fury. Is it just me? Am I secretly filled with self-loathing? Or does this happen to any of you?