I hate FedEx.

At my last job, I did a lot of shipping, both domestically and internationally, and the company's preferred shipper was FedEx because they were the most reliable and the easiest to work with. I left that job with a general preference for FedEx over other companies like DHL.

HOWEVER. FedEx did something wrong with a minor purchase I made on Amazon awhile ago, which was to deliver it, inexplicably, to a school a block and a half down the street from my apartment building. I didn't know about this because the Amazon receipt went to Torsten's old email account that he never uses, and when I started to wonder about the package, I went back into his email, found the tracking number, and saw that it had been delivered a week earlier. I then called FedEx, who told me that they would issue a recall for it and it should be delivered within 48 hours.

Nothing happened. Finally, based on the name of the person who signed for the package, I managed to figure out where it had been delivered, call them, and arrange to pick up the package from them myself. The woman actually told me that after she signed for the packages she'd received, she had noticed that one was not for her business, and had tried to get FedEx to take it back, but they refused. Also, the package was clearly labeled with my correct address.

Okay. This was for the purchase of a bathmat, and so even though it took two extra weeks to get to me, it was not a big deal. It wasn't expensive, and we have the damn thing now.

BUT. I just got a message from FedEx saying they have a package for me that has an address problem, and could I please call them back to tell them where to deliver it. It also provided a tracking number. I knew immediately that it had to be my British passport.

(Tangent: Have I mentioned that I'm a dual citizen because my father was born in England? I have only ever had an American passport but Torsten and I decided that I'd apply for a British passport as well so that if ever we need to go live in the EU, I won't have to worry about visas and all that stuff. So I applied on August 31 and was told I'd have my passport within four weeks, max, and probably less. So I've been looking out for a FedEx package for awhile, since it's now been over four weeks.)

Anyway, I logged on to the FedEx site to track the package right away, and what do I see? I see that it is indeed my passport, and that it was originally scheduled to be delivered on SEPTEMBER 5. Please note that it is now October 5. One full month later. Then there are regular updates, every few days, all saying the same thing-"at local FedEx facility." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? They kept my fucking PASSPORT sitting in their warehouse for a MONTH without making any attempt to contact me or the shipper? I could have had my passport a month ago? This is not a god damn bathmat we're talking about here.

Also, it's important to note that the package contains not just my passport, but also my birth certificate, my father's birth certificate, and my parents' marriage certificate. All important papers that I would like to have back, particularly my birth certificate as I actually need it to file another paper elsewhere, which I have had to keep putting off since my birth certificate has been out of my hands for over a month.

And THEN, after I find out all this, the woman at FedEx has the audacity to tell me that there will be a FEE for the address change. All I can say is, she's lucky that it's impossible to kill someone over the phone.

So, in summary: FedEx delivered my bath mat to someone else for no reason, then held onto my passport and important papers for a month without telling anyone. Then they tried to charge me for their own idiocy. They are bad, evil people and will be getting an angry letter telling them so shortly.

On another note: a couple people asked me how I knew the keyword information for my blog that I wrote about in my last post. The answer is a combination of SiteMeter and Google Analytics. They provide different, but equally great, reports about how many visitors you get, how they found you, how long they spent on your blog, and what keywords they searched for to find you, if that's what they did. You can get to SiteMeter from the little icon at the bottom of my sidebar to the right, and anyone with a Google account can get Google Analytics. I hope that helps.