Left arm locked

Yesterday Torsten and I went golfing for the first time in our lives. I mean, it's not like we played 18 holes. But Torsten had a couple of colleagues ask if he wanted to go for a round of golf with them, and he had to decline because he had no idea how to play, and when he was telling me this I told him that I'd always wanted to learn (though I stupidly did not take the beginning golf class my college offered), so we decided to do it. We both like sports and are reasonably athletic, and it might be a good thing work-wise down the line too.

Our next-door neighbor is an avid golfer, so yesterday he took us to the driving range. I don't know how it works in other cities, but Denver has a bunch of public golf courses that don't charge a membership fee or anything, so since our neighbor has a few spare sets of clubs that we were able to borrow, all we had to pay was a couple dollars for a basket of golf balls. The driving range is set out over a pond with distance markers in it, and you hit the balls into the pond, where they float and are later collected.

Turns out golf is hard! Not that I was expecting anything less, but there are just so many different things to think about when you're swinging a club. Overlap grip, knees bent, arms and wrists out and locked in a V formation, head down, eye on the ball, backswing speed, keeping your left arm locked while you swing, holding your lower body still rather than swiveling, following through, turning slightly on your feet but not too much... and a lot more that I've already forgotten. Oh right, the hardest part of all... actually hitting the club against the ball rather than swinging over it entirely (me) or ramming the club into the grass before you get to the ball (Torsten).

However, it was surprisingly fun. We hit way more bad shots than good, but we each got a few good shots in and the feeling is awesome. And by the end of the two hours we were both feeling a lot more confident and hitting a higher ratio of decent shots. We will definitely go back... and once we've gotten OK at driving, we will need to work on chipping, putting, and probably a million other things I have no idea about. There are an awful lot of clubs in a set, after all, and I only know what three of them are used for.

Also, today I'm sore. My arms hurt from stretching and swinging them so many times. And I have blisters on my hands. Torsten has blisters on his hands too, but they're in all different places. That probably means that we're both holding the club totally wrong, but in entirely different ways. Oh well.

Four wins and no answers

OK. I know a lot of you don't care about sports, or Tim Tebow, and if that's the case I suggest that you skip over this post. Because I have a lot to say about Tim Tebow.

Context: For those of you who don't follow the Denver Broncos (our local football team), they drafted Tim Tebow in the first round last year. This was because the coach at the time, Josh McDaniels, bonded with him at camp or whatever and decided he was worth the risk. Tebow was a huge star at the University of Florida, but a lot of people believed (and still believe) that his success wouldn't translate to the NFL. He is also known for being incredibly, zealously religious. In college he wrote the names and numbers of Bible verses on his face paint during games (which, thankfully, the NFL prohibits). He did a commercial for Focus on the Family that aired during the Super Bowl. He is very, very religious and very, very conservative. And very, very controversial as a football player.

Last year the Broncos went 4-12. Toward the end of the season their starting quarterback, Kyle Orton, was benched (supposedly due to a minor injury) and Tebow was allowed to start three games. He went 1-2. Then in training camp before this season, they competed for the starting spot and Orton won it. He started the first five games and went 1-4. Halfway through the fifth game, when they were losing hopelessly against the Chargers, he was benched in favor of Tebow. Tebow came in and led a comeback that fell short of a huge upset win by a two-point conversion. He then became the starter (though when asked about the starter, the current Broncos coach refers to "Tebow... or whoever"). He is 4-1 when starting this season, meaning that the Broncos are now 5-5.

I can't stand Tim Tebow as a person. Nothing against religious people in general, or conservative people in general, but I find him specifically to be incredibly sanctimonious. Bible verses on his face aren't necessary. Talking about God all the time, in every single interview, isn't necessary. Advertising for Focus on the Family, a group that I find disgusting, bigoted, and deceptive, certainly isn't necessary. And I'm not completely convinced that he's skilled as a quarterback either.

Because here's the weird thing. Even though he's won four out his five games, every single win was close, and weird. He has never conclusively had a great game, the kind where he'd be considered the MVP. He had 3.5 terrible quarters before leading a charge to come back from a 14-point deficit with three minutes left against Miami. He led another comeback win against the Raiders. Even against the Chiefs, who are terrible, the game was way too close for comfort. And against the Jets last night, the defense won the game. They scored one of the touchdowns on an interception, and they limited the Jets to 13 points. Tebow didn't do a whole lot.

But beyond that, since McDaniels is gone, there's nobody in the Broncos management who believes in Tebow as a quarterback. And as a result they engage in the most conservative play calling I've ever seen. They call almost exclusively running plays. In the game against the Chiefs Tebow threw the ball, I believe, eight times all game. They only let him throw downfield late in the game when it's do or die. As a result, he's developing a reputation as a fourth-quarter quarterback. If the defense can just keep the Broncos in the game for the first three quarters, they seem to be able to pull out a win right at the end.

But it's frustrating. They traded their best receiver, Brandon Lloyd, for a fifth- or sixth-round draft pick because they didn't want to pay his salary for the next three years, during which time they expect to be in rebuilding mode and not win anything. So why are they being so conservative with Tebow? I just don't understand, if there's nothing on the line this year and it's all about the team's future, why they wouldn't test him. Why they wouldn't work on letting him throw the ball and seeing if he's any good and/or has any chance at becoming good. Why is it that after he's started five games and won four of them, nobody knows if he's any good or if he has a shot in hell at becoming the team's long-term quarterback? How is that helpful in any way?

I just can't get inside the heads of the coaches and play callers. I don't understand what they're doing. I think Tebow could potentially be good, or it could be like an anonymous Lions player said to the media after Detroit blew out the Broncos 45-10 a few weeks ago:

“Come on – that’s embarrassing. I mean, it’s a joke. We knew all week that if we brought any kind of defensive pressure, he couldn’t do anything. In the second half it got boring out there. We were like, ‘Come on – that’s your quarterback? Seriously?’ ”

As far as I can tell, that's what most of the NFL thinks of him. So the Lions must be wondering what the hell happened to the Chargers, Dolphins, Raiders, Chiefs, and especially the Jets, who are actually a pretty good team. How did the Lions blow the Broncos out so spectacularly and everyone else falls apart against them? How is Tebow winning all these games and yet nobody knows if he can even throw the ball?

(As an aside, last night after the Broncos beat the Jets the camera showed a group of players, mostly Broncos but also some Jets, led by Tebow, in what appeared to be a prayer circle, where they were all "Tebowing," i.e., kneeling on one knee with their heads bowed in prayer. I get why some of his religious teammates might be joining him in this activity after a game, but why would any players from the Jets, who were just beaten by this guy who is being mocked the world over with this exact pose, and who is considered a total loser by most NFL teams, possibly be interested in joining his prayer circle? I don't care how religious they are--I would think they'd rather pray on their own, not on camera, after a loss. But I guess we should consider this a beautiful show of unity and togetherness. Or something.)

Apparently he's starting to gain respect within the Broncos organization (certainly his teammates believe in him; unclear what management thinks) now that he's won so many games, but we still have no answers about his future. Or the Broncos' future, which is what I actually care about.

Basically, I want the Broncos to get it together. Figure out if Tebow will be their quarterback for a long time or not. And if not, start figuring out who his replacement will be, and send him to a team where he does have an advocate and will get a chance to play, and will get play calls that actually allow him to thrive. Plus, it's really incredibly boring to watch a game where every single play involves a running back plowing into defensive traffic. And every game we watch involves us yelling at the TV as the opponent makes adjustments for the play calling, and the play calling continues as though nothing has changed. Great runs in the first quarter, and then every run gets stopped at the line of scrimmage as the defense adjusts--and yet the Broncos continue running as though the defense will suddenly forget what they're doing and start expecting them to pass. Like the coaches think the running game is still as fresh and surprising as it was at first.

It isn't. It's boring. It's predictable. And somehow it feels like four wins in five games (and three wins in a row) were a fluke. That is a waste of time and money. I don't like Tebow as a person, but he plays for my team and I want to know if he has a chance to be a good quarterback or not. I wish the Broncos would do something to finally start looking for an answer to that question.

Selective memory

Germany lost to Spain in the World Cup semifinals yesterday. We DVRed the game and watched it last night. It was pretty grim. Me and three Germans, and I don't think I was rooting for Germany any less than they were. So yes. Four grim, disappointed people shouting curse words at the TV before lapsing into stunned silence as we watched the end of the game play out.

Not like I've never seen my team lose before, but the World Cup sucks because it's only every four years! At least with all the other sports I like, you can soothe yourself by thinking about next year. Not so much in this case.

Unrelatedly, after the fight about the tipping, Torsten's parents said they were going to call their friends' daughter, who also moved to the US and still lives here, to find out if what we were saying was true. I wish they would, but I don't think they did. It's nice to get external confirmation, you know?

Also, the whole thing pisses me off, because they've come to the US to visit Torsten no less than four times, and every time he carefully explains that no, in American restaurants service is not included in the price of the food, and yes, you do have to tip a minimum of 15% unless the service was truly atrocious, and no, letting your water glass get half empty doesn't qualify as atrocious, and no, there are no exceptions, when you don't tip you are hurting someone else's income.

(As a side note, can I just say that I think the whole process of paying restaurant servers a ridiculously low, separate minimum wage and forcing them to depend on the whims of their clientele for their income is insane? Truly, it makes no sense. I KNOW that when Torsten's parents aren't with us, they leave MAYBE $1 as a tip no matter the price of the meal. I have seen many other random restaurant patrons do this as well. In what world does it make sense to leave a hardworking person's ability to pay their rent up to the stingy selfish mood of random patrons?)

Anyway! My original point was, Torsten tells his parents that they must tip EVERY TIME they visit. EVERY TIME. And yet, EVERY TIME, they stare at him in shocked disbelief and absolutely give the impression that they have NEVER heard of such a thing before in their lives and cannot BELIEVE something so outrageous.

And yet! When they went to Macy's on Monday? They remembered from their visit to DC two years ago that as out-of-towners, they were entitled to an 11% discount to make up for sales tax. They remembered that they had to go to the customer service counter to get it. They remembered that the customer service counters in Macy's are usually hidden at the very back of the highest floor of the shop. And they remembered what to say, despite their very limited English, to get the coupon. And despite the fact that they had to navigate all this on their own, at a different Macy's location in a different state, they got the coupon with no trouble, and they used it all day.

So it's not like they CAN'T remember things. It's that they CHOOSE NOT TO. And that is possibly the most frustrating part of all.

On the other hand, perhaps this little trick of memory will allow them to forget the misery of yesterday's World Cup game. And that would be nice for everyone.

Agh.

It's one of those days, at work, and I suspect that tomorrow will be another one. I am slammed with high-priority deadlines and of course, the long meetings haven't been suspended so that eats into my schedule. Excuse my lack of reading and commenting on your blogs, but I swear, I have not marked all as read and WILL catch up eventually. Like in a day or two.

In the meantime, no discussing World Cup results with me, because there are some important games on today, and I have no freaking clue when I'll have time to watch them.

TV weekend

Torsten and I finished watching Season 1 of The Wire this weekend. He adores it. I like it a lot. It definitely grew on me. We are going to hold off on Season 2 until after the World Cup ends, though, because when you check it out of the library you have to watch the whole season in three weeks (not renewable because there's a queue), and we have to, you know, work and not just watch soccer and crime shows round the clock, you know?

Plus it'll be good to have a break from the violence. It starts to get to me after awhile, even when the show is really good.

You know what doesn't get to me? 4-0 World Cup wins. Assuming, of course, that the team that scores four is the one you're rooting for. Which, in this case, it obviously was.

Two World Cup notes:

1. "Pobres Australianos" was a trending topic on Twitter after the Germany game yet. I think that's adorable. I did feel sorry for them, not just for getting trounced but also for that one player getting that straight red card for something that looked to me like it barely deserved a yellow card. Apparently the guy was in tears after the game. Does a straight red mean he misses the next two games? If so, he probably won't get to play in this World Cup again, as Australia seems unlikely to advance out of group play, and since he's already 30 years old it's possible he won't get to come to the next World Cup either. What a crappy way to go, you know? I mean, it's no Zidane head butt, but still.

2. I saw a joke on Twitter about the poor English goalie who let in that embarrassing goal against the US. It went something like this: "The British national team says they are behind goalkeeper Robert Green after his blunder. In retrospect, that's a good place to stand." It makes me laugh every time I think about it. Even though, of course: the poor guy. And he had an amazing save later in the game so really it all evens out, but of course the British tabloids don't agree.

OK! I swear I won't keep going on about the World Cup, for all those of you who are groaning and rolling your eyes. Really, I will keep it to myself. At least til the next Germany game. Fair?

World Cup!

So! The World Cup starts today. How many of you care? No, seriously. How many?

I cared a little bit, and then I married a German guy, and he cares a lot, and actually now so do I. It's an even trade; he never cared about baseball until he met me.

Obviously we are rooting for Germany. It would be nice to see the US do well too, but what are the odds of that happening? I'm guessing slim to none, despite what the media claims. It seems like every four years we read all about how this is really going to be the US's year, and then they don't even get out of group play.

Oh and I'd also like France to do well. Though nobody there expects that to happen. When I was in France a major department store was running an ad for an expensive TV saying that they would give purchasers' money back in full if France won the World Cup, and all my French friends were snorting and saying that was a safe bet for the store since there isn't a chance in hell that France will win. But still, it would be nice.

And I'd like Senegal to do well, except they aren't in it this time. Oh well.

So: gooooooo Germany! We will definitely be at a bar watching them play Australia this weekend.

What about you? Do you care about the World Cup? Will you be watching? Who will you be rooting for?

Olympic Friday

I love watching the men's aerials in the Olympics. They go so freaking high! And they spin and flip and rotate so much! It's just so cool. It seems so impossible, you know? And yet here are these guys, doing it. Though I cringe every time someone does a "backslap"--it looks like those things would be deadly, and yet most of them just stand right up and ski down the hill.

I guess what I wonder is, how do people get into this sport to begin with? I find it difficult to envision circumstances in which a kid would begin doing a sport like that. And how do you LEARN it? It's so INTENSE. I mean, they jump 50 feet in the air. ON PURPOSE.

On the other hand, I am beyond uninterested in the Nordic combined event. Ski jumping where everyong just goes straight forward looking exactly the same? Blah. Cross country skiing where we watch people heave themselves forward on two sticks for 10 kilometers? Also blah. I mean, I understand it's a very challenging sport, and I could never do it myself, but watching it on TV? Not my thing.

Side note: while I was typing this, a large brown spider crawled up the curtain behind me. And I am very proud of myself for not shrieking and jumping off the couch and injuring myself in the process. I just calmly stood up, stepped far away from the curtain, and called for Torsten to bring the vacuum cleaner. THANK GOD. Perhaps someday I will totally get over my total fear of and disgust toward spiders. I don't have high hopes, though.

ANYWAY, now I'm all distracted and discombobulated, but I'm pretty sure that I had a point with this post. Oh, I remember. I also find figure skating kind of boring, which is a new sensation for me--I always liked it in the past. And I do like watching gymnastics, so I don't know what my deal is. But Joannie Rochette--I cry every time I see her. The story about her mom is just so sad, and watching her be so emotional just kills me every time. And I don't even have an excuse for my tears--no pregnancy, no PMS, no similar personal traumatic memories, nothing. I just feel so sad, and so impressed with her poise. And, on the men's side, I am seriously in heart with Johnny Weir.

But yeah, other than that, I'm did not really enjoy the figure skating. And I can't even force myself to watch a single ice dancing routine, I find it so boring. But I loved all the downhill skiing events, and also the snowboard and ski cross events. I'd never seen or heard of them before, but it's so interesting watching four people cram onto one tiny course together, you know?

What about you? What Olympic sports and athletes do you like, or not like?

On watching the Olympics

I love the Winter Olympics. I may love them even more than the Summer Olympics, since I don't care much about most running events. What I have noticed about the Winter sports, though, is that they are WAY more dangerous than the summer events. I mean, obviously we all know that the luge is not safe. But also, what about speed skating? Those blades? And even just regular figure skating can lead to injury, especially when skiing in pairs. And ski jumping? I don't know how much that helmet can help if you mistime a jump and land on your head, you know?

Of course, this makes sense. Summer weather lends itself to basically doing whatever you want, mostly on your own two feet. Winter weather and the attendant snow and ice require all sorts of funky contraptions and strange adaptations. Plus, snow and ice are slippery. So of course Winter events are more dangerous. Still, I love the Winter Olympics and have really been looking forward to watching them.

As those of you who follow me on Twitter (and haven't un-followed me after my 20-30 tweets of rage on Friday night) probably know during the opening ceremonies, I was a little upset at NBC's decision to air the ceremonies on a delay for those of us not on EST. I feel worse for West Coasters, though--they had a much longer delay than we did.

Coverage seems to have aligned since then, at least a bit--I'm not sure if we're still on a delay or not. I am really enjoying NBC's commentators, all of whom seem to really care about and have experience in the sport in question. (For example: during the biathlon, someone asked if the course was too easy, and one of the commentators had actually just skied it himself the other day, and was able to respond with great knowledge and insight that someone like, say, Tom Brokaw could never have attained.)

HOWEVER. NBC's coverage, as a network? Blows. I don't know how many of you have had the opportunity to experience other countries' televised Olympic coverage, but it blows ours out of the water. I was living in France during the 2002 Olympics, and the way it worked was fabulous. Channels had selectable thumbnails of all the events going on simultaneously, and you could pick which sport you wanted to watch in full screen. Events were re-aired later in case you wanted to see something you missed the first time. There are very few, if any, commercials. You see all the competitors and watch the competition unfold in a logical manner. Torsten says German coverage is similar.

Let's compare this to NBC, shall we? They show a few things on their other networks, but we don't get USA, CNBC, or MSNBC in HD, so that's very frustrating for us. In any case, the program you watch gives you no choice about which events you'll see and in what order. They deliberately hold the good events until prime time, and the most popular events are used as leverage. The figure skating (which I assume is the most popular) gets interspersed throughout the entire evening's telecast, basically forcing people who want to see it to watch the full program to make sure they don't miss anything.

They show only a handful of the athletes, and a disproportionate number of American competitors, including those who have no shot at a medal. With the men's mogul qualifying round, they didn't even show the top-scoring guy's run. And they showed a figure skating pair's performance but not their scores.

Plus, they seem to have a new set of commercials every three minutes.

Basically, NBC is driving me crazy. A delay plus insane jumping back and forth plus very limited coverage plus American-heavy coverage plus tons of commercials? Basically, what it comes down to is that their coverage of the Olympic Games isn't about an optimal viewing experience for those of us who actually want to watch... it's about maximizing ratings and cashing in as much as possible. And that's really sad for those of us who would really like to be able to just watch the Games as they happen.

Feeling groovy

THIS was worth missing Dooce for:




This morning I have a three-hour consultation scheduled with the surgeon's office. I've figured out a bit more about the insurance situation--there was some confusion with my insurance network because my insurance company isn't known here in Colorado, so people think they don't take it when actually they do. It turns out that either the surgery would be covered at 100% or it won't be covered at all. Which is actually logistically easier and a relief, because it means that if I do have the surgery, I don't have to worry about finding one surgeon who's in-network and another who offers a reasonable self-pay option.

The appointment will include a meeting with the surgeon (who also conducted the seminar last week), a meeting with a psychologist (or maybe it's a psychiatrist?), a meeting with a nutritionist, and a meeting with the insurance coordinator for the surgeon's office. It should be, if nothing else, very informative, and it will be good to have a one-on-one conversation with the surgeon about my particular situation and what's best for me.

It's been a good start to the week. I feel good. I'm excited about the house, and feeling good about the surgery thing, and the dog isn't sick anymore, and it's been sunny and nice out, and we're both feeling very settled in Denver. It feels like ages since we were living in DC, and neither of us misses it. It's just so right here. It's such a good fit.

Oh, and also? In case I haven't mentioned it yet? GO UNC.

Dooce and UNC and food philosophies

So, I realized that I haven't yet mentioned that I'll be leading a book discussion on Very Bookish in April. The little profile about me is already up, as is the preview of the book I'll be discussing. The book, by the way, is Dooce's new book, It Sucked and then I Cried. I have been dying to read this book since she first announced that she was writing it, and now I have it right here on my Kindle! So you should all order or check out a copy and read along with me over there.

Also, Dooce is coming to Denver to do a reading, and I've been planning to go for quite some time (before we even knew when we were moving here), but I've just realized that her reading is literally at the exact same time as the NCAA basketball tournament championship game. Now, if UNC (my team since age six) loses before then, maybe I can TiVo the game and watch it later. But if UNC is playing for the championship? I HAVE to watch it live. HAVE TO. Come on, Dooce. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PICK THAT EXACT DAY AND TIME? Do you really think your readers don't care about basketball? Or is it because there are no real contenders in Colorado?

I have more to say about weight-loss surgery, and specifically about all the issues of judgment and blame and stereotyping that it raises, but I think I need to save that for another day. There's been a lot of serious weight-related talk around here recently, and I need a break.

But I do have it on the brain, still, and maybe that's why I have a question about eating. Not necessarily weight-related, but just habit related. Are there foods you restrict for yourself? No red meat, no dairy, no sweets, etc.? If so, why? Do you have a general philosophy about food and diet?

Volleyball and dreamy houses

Wow, do I ever love watching volleyball. Last night I was watching my TiVoed recording of the U.S.-Italy women's volleyball quarterfinal, which was a real nail-biter, and I was so into it and on edge that I was actually fast-forwarding through the three seconds between points. It was seriously KILLING ME to have to wait. Even though the whole thing reminded me of how much I suck at volleyball by comparison, and also how frustrated I was at essentially being pushed out of the work volleyball team, because they didn't think I was good enough.

And yes, I think that bears repeating. We were in the intermediate REC LEAGUE of professional adults who play for fun. The prize was SHOT GLASSES, and crappy ones at that. We were all pretty similar in skill, but the net was at men's height, which neutralized me because I was too short to hit and hitting is my best skill. Still, I was a reasonable setter and I was HAVING FUN, which was the effing POINT of joining a rec league with your OFFICE TEAM, and yet when it came time for the playoffs (the end goal of which was a SHOT GLASS, let me remind you), they suggested subbing me in one game and having me sit out the other two.

AND the worst part was that some guy's friend who didn't even work for us, who was only allowed on the team under the condition that he not get much playing time because he wasn't part of our company, was scheduled to play all three games because he was a good hitter. So, I said screw this, I'm not giving up all my Wednesday nights and trekking across town to sit and watch a bunch of people I don't even like play volleyball. Especially because nobody would give me a ride home afterward so I always had to take a really long, lonely Metro ride by myself late at night.

Let me say again. SHOT. GLASS. I would be willing to buy every member of the team a cheap shot glass in exchange for them not making me feel bad and guilty for wanting to have some fun and get some exercise. Definitely a case of a bunch of stodgy office workers who look awkward in their gym clothes taking themselves WAY too seriously. Not that I'm bitter. Ahem.

ANYWAY, despite the annoyed memories of my own past volleyball experiences, I loved watching the game yesterday, and that was my damn point to begin with.

My other point is that now that we are seriously saving for a down payment, we've started thinking about the type of house we'd like to buy. I was momentarily excited when a For Sale sign popped up in the yard of my most beloved house in DC, the one I admire every time I see it, this gorgeous gray house on a corner lot right by a Metro stop and a Whole Foods. But then I went home and looked it up on the realtor's website, only to discover that it was listed at a cool $1.7 million dollars. And just like that, my hopes were dashed.

Still, thinking of home buying makes me dream of gorgeous houses with rooms like these:





Torsten and I have been keeping a mental list of things we would love to have in our dream house. It includes an inductive cooker, a big shower with a tile bench, huge floor to ceiling windows, at least one fireplace, hardwood floors, and a big porch. Every time we look at houses, we think of more things to add, but those are the ones we keep coming back to.

What specific element would you have to have in your dream home?

Megaracer

First of all, wow. You guys are so helpful and sweet. There seemed to be an overwhelming majority in favor of the third pair of earrings yesterday, but now I'm really not sure I want to wear any of the ones that I mentioned in that post. And I was incredibly touched by the flood of emails from people who searched everywhere to help me. There were so many fabulous suggestions that now I really do not know what to do. But I'll figure it out.

Also, the last couple nights I've dreamed about the wedding, and the amazing thing is that the dreams haven't been nightmares. Things have gone wrong in them (last night I had lipstick all over the skirt of my dress), but overall I have been incredibly happy and beaming and generally thrilled to be getting married. Apparently even my subconscious has achieved that zen state wherein it understands that the details don't really matter at this point, and the important thing is that Torsten and I wind up married at the end of the day.

In non-wedding related news (I KNOW. Who knew there WAS such a thing, right?), who stayed up until 1 a.m. to watch the Olympics last night? And wasn't it SO WORTH IT? The pink leotard and the matching scrunchy! The insane eyeliner on the Americans rivaled only by the ridiculous eyeshadow on the Chinese! The girl who wobbled throughout her entire beam routine and still got very few deductions!

But OMG speaking of the beam, I can hardly bear to WATCH those routines. The beam is just so LITTLE and also so HARD. It's one of those things where I have to cover my eyes with my hands and peek through my fingers, because I am so expecting one of them to crash onto the beam and crush her skull during those gravity defying spins that they do.

Also, even though I was really glad that the medals turned out the way they did, I felt a little bad for the Chinese. It just really seems that Chinese Olympic sports are a machine. The commentators say that these kids are plucked from their daycare centers when they're THREE and set to work training intensively on their assigned sport until they become an absolute master. That's all they do. It's really their lives. Which, to be fair, could probably be said of Olympic athletes from every country. But the difference is that I suspect the Chinese athletes get physically punished when they mess up, and I doubt that's the case with the Americans. So a part of me wanted them to win for their own sakes. Although I do think bronze is prettier than gold and silver. There, I said it.

Lastly, for those of you looking to waste some time, I have a little present for you. You're welcome. I love that thing because it confirms to me that I DO type fast. Its highest rank starts at 50WPM, and I'm averaging 108. Which means I would make a damn good secretary. Or maybe a court stenographer. It's always good to have a backup plan, right?

Voice of Reason

Yesterday one of my friends informed me that she considers me her ultimate voice of reason. Whenever she is debating what to do about something, or needs advice, she comes to me and we talk it through. She considers me a logical, objective voice, and she always likes to get my opinion.

She is definitely not the first person to say something like this. I am always being told that I'm the grounded one, the even-keeled one, the diplomat. And for the most part, it's true. I'm able to be very professional, and I am generally good at defusing situations. I am usually good at calming people down, and I can find good compromises. I value those skills about myself and I think it's really important to be able to navigate volatile situations without exacerbating the problem. I love that I am usually able to do that. So I really don't mind the reputation. In fact, I like that my friends see me that way, and that they consider my input so valuable.

But even though I am generally grounded, I still get upset about things. For example, watching sports gets me totally riled up--and I'm still pissed off about what happened last night. Germany was playing Turkey in the semifinal of the European Cup, which normally Torsten would have been really excited about. In the quarterfinal, for example, the game was close and tense and both of us were jumping up and down, screaming, and hardly able to breathe all the way through.

Torsten LOVES the European Cup. He has the passion for soccer that all Europeans seem to share, and the Euro only happens once every four years. Europeans prefer it to the World Cup, because pretty much all of the European teams who qualify are strong contenders, so the games are close and interesting starting with group play, whereas with the World Cup, the regional quotas mean that the early round play is dull.

But during last night's semifinal, I was watching tensely and shouting at the screen, but Torsten was sitting there totally bored, messing around on his computer during the whole game, which is SO unlike him. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was so uninterested, and I kept asking what was wrong, and he kept saying that he was just exhausted from work, but I couldn't believe that ANY work issue would ruin his enjoyment of such a close and rare game.

His attitude kind of ruined the game for both of us, though, and after the game ended (with a last-second, game-winning goal! A total gem! The kind of game that you see once every few years at most!), I interrogated him until he admitted that he had found out the score at work that afternoon, so he already knew the outcome of the game.

I know that a lot of you don't care about soccer, but if you already know what happens? It becomes nothing more than watching a bunch of people run up and down the field mindlessly. There's no suspense, there's no nail-biting, there's no fun breathlessness as each play unfolds. Yeah, it's fun to see the goals when they happen, but only to admire their technique, not because of what they mean.

The point is, Torsten would NEVER intentionally ruin the experience of watching such a great game live, and we had both implemented a media blackout for ourselves at kickoff time so we would avoid seeing the score before we got to watch the TiVoed game that evening. We had also warned our respective offices that we were TiVoing the game and did NOT want to hear the score from anyone who had looked it up online before then. Both of our offices were kind enough to be completely poker faced so as not to give anything away for us. So how the hell did he find out?

Well, it turns out that a German friend of his who lives in Europe and apparently didn't think about the time difference and the fact that Torsten was at work and couldn't have seen the game yet took it upon herself to SEEK HIM OUT and TELL HIM THE OUTCOME OF THE GAME via IM the second that it ended. She didn't even say hi first, so he didn't have the chance to warn her against telling him. She just went straight for the jugular and ruined the whole game for him, the game that he had been looking forward to for days.

So, that nice, rational, grounded attitude that I usually possess? It's GONE. I am PISSED that he had his game ruined for him, and that by extension the game-watching experience was ruined for me as well. It irritates me to no end that a single thoughtless comment by a friend could spoil his enjoyment of something that is so special to him and that happens so rarely. It makes me really sad that he didn't get to enjoy the experience that he'd been waiting for for so long.

All I can say is, at least Germany effing won the game, so there is still one more good game with a team we care about to watch this year. And if anyone ruins the finals for Torsten, I will kill them. Personally. And I might even enjoy it.

Okay, rant over. Back to my nice voice of reason now. I was actually going somewhere with this whole voice of reason thing before I got all upset about the whole Euro Cup thing again. My question was, do you have a reputation among your friends as being a certain type of person? And if so, do you think that the reputation is accurate?

Tidbits

1. It pisses me off a little how competitive my work volleyball team is. I want to win too, I really do. But it's supposed to be fun. Winning the league means nothing. And yeah, I'm one of the worst players on the team because all I know how to do is hit and I can't do that on a men's height net, which basically neutralizes me. But still, I'd like to play my allotted games without feeling like my teammates resent me for being on the court.

There are nine players and three games, so math would dictate that everyone sit out one game, right? But I always feel compelled to sit out two because they want to win so badly and I feel like a liability. And if I don't come forward and volunteer to sit out a second game, I can totally feel them waiting for it to happen. And the exasperation. And geez, I'm not THAT bad. I can set decently and I usually bump a received serve somewhere in the vicinity of the setter. And I can serve. So come on, can't we all just calm down? This is supposed to be a fun way to get some exercise and meet some new people, not an ubercompetitive pro league.

2. Swistle asked me to do a guest contribution for her baby names blog, and of course I agreed. I was especially excited about it because the post I worked on was for Devan, and I love her. The post is up, so go vote and help Devan decide what to name her baby!

3. J.M. Tewkesbury of The Chronicles of Tewkesbury tagged me for a meme where you are supposed to write a six-word memoir. I struggled with it a lot more than I expected to, but I finally came up with something. I was going to say it was halfway decent, but I'm not sure (and I definitely played fast and loose with the word "memoir"). Regardless, here it is:

Need baby; will settle for dog

What about you? You don't necessarily have to stick to exactly six words, but can you write me a one-line memoir in the comments?

Snot-free

When I am sick and congested and my head feels clogged, basically all I can do is lie in bed and whimper. However, Torsten has introduced me to the wonders of nasal spray and the way it clears your congestion for at least long enough for you to take one or two beautiful, deep breaths before the next river of snot comes pouring down your nose and throat and everything is shot to hell.

The problem with the nasal spray is that I am very bad at spraying or touching things in my own face, particularly eyes, nose, and ears. I would like to do it but I can never quite work up the nerve. And the nasal spray in particular is the worst because you have to breathe in a certain way while you spray and I am already stressed about spraying something IN my nose which reminds me of drowning and the additional worry of having to breathe a certain way WHILE creating a drowning sensation for myself? Well, really it's just too much.

But Torsten is a hero. Because not only did he teach me about the beauty of nasal spray. He also takes that bottle, sticks it up my nose, waits for me to breathe correctly, and sprays. And then he tells me how cute I am when I jump. Which I do. Every time.

He will be a good father, I think. Don't you agree?

Also, ever since he first gave me the nasal spray on Friday afternoon, I've been feeling much better. This was probably helped out by the over 30 hours of sleep I got this weekend. By last night, I was feeling alert enough to actually focus on the NBA game that we were watching. And that's when I learned that I am sexist.

Yes, I hate female sportscasters. And not just the cute blonde ones who do the fluff color pieces by standing in the aisle interviewing the 30-year season ticket holders and distant relatives of the players. I'm talking about what appears to be ESPN's newest basketball commentator, a woman who talks about how Carmelo Anthony has a smooth shot and Tracy McGrady has found his sweet spot. She's a color analyst, I think, but she is not a fluff coverer like most female sportscasters. You can tell because they didn't show her on camera, looking cute and sexy, and because her voice is relatively low. She is clearly intended to be Taken Seriously.

And while I'm all about women breaking into male-dominated fields? I wanted to smack her every time she talked. She just sounded like such a fake. Even though what she was saying was TOTALLY REASONABLE. I was the one being unreasonable. She had interesting analysis and if it had been a man saying those things, I barely would have noticed.

But it wasn't a man, it was this woman, and every time she spoke, I twitched with fury. Is it just me? Am I secretly filled with self-loathing? Or does this happen to any of you?

Unpurple

So, even though I was so excited when I posted on Wednesday, the day wound up going downhill in the afternoon. There were a lot of factors, but they were not improved by me dropping a purple vase that Torsten gave me and watching it shatter on the floor. Nor were they improved by the fact that when the save-the-dates arrived, I discovered that they did not, in fact, meet my standards for purple.

I realize this is my own fault for not ordering a sample ahead of time, but it looked so pretty on the site. And it was called "amethyst." I have an amethyst ring that Torsten gave me, and it absolutely does meet my definition of purple. I fell prey to marketing and to the cruel inaccuracies of my LCD screen.

However, the STDs are still very nice--good quality paper, pretty font, nice design. And I am probably the only person other than my sister who will look at them and think, "That isn't purple." Torsten thinks it's purple. I think it's an eggplanty pink. Certainly not the gorgeous purple I was anticipating.

But once bitten, twice shy. The second I saw the color of the STDs, I went straight onto the website where we plan to order our actual invitations (not the same vendor) and ordered a sample. I will not make the same mistake twice. And I care a lot more about the invitations than I do about the STDs. Especially because the STDs have only a small amount of (what was supposed to be) purple, whereas the invitations are entirely purple. Oh, yes they are.

So, we'll look at this as a learning experience. And not a reason to get all upset. Oh, and for those people who asked to see the STD? Here is the sample. The real one has our full names and actual URL, but otherwise the wording is the same.

And the other reason why Wednesday went downhill? Well, it might have had something to do with almost getting killed during our volleyball game. We were in a gym that had these big sheet things hanging from the ceiling. It was the middle of our last game of the set, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed movement toward the ceiling. I glanced up to see one of the sheets billowing around, detached from one of the metal rods that had been holding it in place.

And then I saw the metal rod itself start to fall from the very high ceiling. It almost happened in slow motion, it was so surreal. It was surrounded by huge amounts of dust that had been trapped in the sheet--such big pieces that it looked like feathers. It almost seemed like the rod was floating as it made its way to the floor. Until it slammed onto the court, about five feet from where I was standing and even closer to one of my teammates, with a very loud crash.

It was a very heavy rod, about three feet long and over an inch in diameter, made out of very thick metal. Point being that if it had landed on one of us? It literally could have killed us. Which is not exactly the type of thrill I'm looking for when I play volleyball.

The rest of the week has not been much of an improvement, I have to say. It sleeted all last night and we woke up to ice and grossness everywhere--and yet work was not canceled, and I'm extremely grumpy about that. Almost nobody is in the office, though, and while the peace is nice, the dead silence is not exactly a motivating factor.

But what IS a motivating factor is that I'm leaving a bit early today for our drive down to North Carolina. And it's supposed to be 65 degrees and sunny there tomorrow. And also? Tomorrow? Is the big Dress Day. And I am still very excited about that. Don't worry, I packed my camera. There will be a full report on Monday, I'm sure. Until then, have a great weekend!

The bratwurst was a hit.

So, I thought that I didn't have a preference between the Pats and the Giants, but actually? When we were watching the game? I found myself sincerely wanting the Giants to win. Maybe it was Bill Belichick's stupid sweatshirt, or Eli Manning's adorable baby face. But I was totally rooting for the Giants. And my preference was confirmed correct when Belichick walked into the tunnel before the game officially ended. That just screamed of sore loser.

Also, I had a lot of fun at our Super Bowl gathering. It was originally going to include nine guests, but one couple had to cancel at the last minute, so there wound up being seven guests plus the two of us. We had intended to just grab a few things at the grocery store for food, but we wound up going a little crazy at Whole Foods and Giant. That, combined with each of our guests bringing at least one dish, led us into a party that featured the following menu:

• Bratwurst on baguette
• Pretzels from the Auntie Anne's DIY kit
  
• Edamame
• Marinated olives
  
• Carrots and ranch dip
  
• Crab and artichoke dip
• Salami
  
• Aged cheddar cheese
• Baked brie
• Garlic melba toast, water crackers, and whole wheat crackers
• Fresh guacamole, salsa, and tortilla chips
• Sausage and cream cheese dip
• Doritos and cheese puffs
  
• Hot wings
• Yellow cake with chocolate frosting
• Lemon bars
• Brownies
• Caramel truffles
• Four types of beer, as well as soda and apple cider

And the amazing thing? The nine of us managed to pretty much destroy all that food. Yes, there are some chips and cake left, and the dregs of everything else, but when everyone had left and we looked at the table that was once covered with an array of food I thought we'd never get through? It was looking pretty bare.

There's always that letdown after a party, when the last guest leaves and the food is still lying out and the thought of eating anything else makes you want to hurl. But you don't want to leave everything sitting out all night, especially in the apartment that was spick and span in honour of your guests just a few short hours earlier.

And also? It feels late and you're crashing from that sugar high and why is the Super Bowl on a Sunday? Shouldn't it be on a weekend night when you can sleep in the next day and recover from the massive amount of food and beer you ingested?

Although, I did a good job not eating incredible piles of unhealthy food, and also of saving most of my daily calories for the evening so that I wouldn't surpass my weekly Weight Watchers allowance. Go me.

Still, if I don't see another Dorito for at least a month, that will be soon enough for me.

I don't like the rain.

I'm back from my business trip. Which, by the way, was to Atlanta. Sorry I forgot to mention that little detail in my last post. The trip was fantastic. We had a really great, productive meeting, and I felt totally on the ball. I had answers to all the questions and we were able to really collaborate and brainstorm. The meeting ran completely on schedule and I got a lot of really useful feedback to start doing Round 2 of this website. And I got the sense that the clients really liked me.

Also, on Wednesday night I totally watched Moment of Truth, because I knew Torsten would never agree to watch it so it was my only opportunity to see it. And all these bloggy people kept telling me that even though it looked like a terrible show, I had to watch it, just once.

So, I watched it. Just once. And never again. Honestly, I just didn't like it. Not because it gave me that weird squirmy feeling that shows like that can give. I didn't even like it as a guilty pleasure. I just thought it was dull. First of all, the secrets just aren't that interesting. Okay, the guy has a gambling problem and hit on his girlfriend's friend once right after they started dating. Fine, the beauty queen thinks she's prettier than her sister (which is true). Juicy.

The other thing that I can't deal with is how incredibly slowly the show moves. It is just so dragged out. It's not just those ridiculous long pauses while you wait to hear if the answer is true or false. It's the whole rigmarole about asking whether the person really wants to continue and risk facing more and more questions. On and on and on just to learn a bunch of boring secrets about random people.

And this is what I really don't get. The people act all shocked and horrified whenever they hear a question. And when they're deciding if they're going to keep going they act all anxious, like they're afraid of what questions they're going to be asked.

But the whole premise of the show is that they took the polygraph test ahead of time. So they KNOW what the questions are going to be. I mean, yeah, there were 50 questions on the polygraph and only 21 of them will be asked on the show, but still, they know what the possibilities are. They therefore have fair warning if there's a horrible question that they won't want to answer on national television. And if there were such a question, they can pretty much bet that it will be asked on the show. It's not like the producers are going to let slide the opportunity to, for example, force a guy to tell his wife he cheated on her.

So, the show pretty much sucked. And I don't see the appeal. Can someone please explain it to me?

Anyway, this feels like a very short week, mostly because of the business trip. It's already Friday and the Super Bowl is on Sunday. I like watching football but I'm not really supporting either side. What I'm looking forward to is a good game, great commercials, and the little Super Bowl gathering that we're having with a few friends. That will be the best part.

The ultimate PDA

I know it's Tuesday, but I'm going to skip the Retrospective for this week, unless yesterday can be considered a memory. Which you could definitely argue for, but I'm not going to start meta-blogging about this. We'll be returning to our regularly scheduled programming next Tuesday.

Anyway, yesterday was the day of the Dallas Mavericks vs. Washington Wizards game for which I gave Torsten tickets for his birthday back in November. The Mavs are Torsten's favourite basketball team, and he swears it's not because their star, Dirk Nowitzki, is German. Originally I wanted to take him to Dallas for a game as his birthday present, but then I realized that after the cost of the trip, we'd only be able to afford the nosebleed seats, so I opted to wait until the team came to DC and then get genuinely good seats.

And damn, our seats WERE good. They were behind the basket, five rows away from the court, and the view was just fantastic. You could see everything as the players were getting physical under the basket. It was just RIGHT THERE. I didn't realize how much physical contact was actually allowed in basketball without a foul being called--but those guys are all over each other. Defenders always have their hands on the guy they're defending, and there's lots of pushing and tangling that goes on all the time. Also, watching a 7-foot guy fly through the air to grab a rebound is pretty spectacular.

It kind of sucks to be rooting against the home team, though. The crowd has all this energy and instead of getting swept up in it, you get resentful and also feel compelled to clap louder when your team does something good. As a result, my hands were stinging by the time the game ended--and to no avail, as the Mavs (or as Torsten now calls them, "stupid fucking loser idiots") lost the game.

However, the highlight of the game: we were on the Kiss Cam! We were just sitting there, watching the Jumbotron and seeing other people kiss, and then suddenly there we were on the screen! It was actually a little bit weird, kissing and knowing we were on TV in front of thousands of fans, and not being able to see what they were seeing or know if we looked totally idiotic. However, I could hear the crowd cheering and saying "Aww" while we were kissing, so I can only assume that we didn't look too ridiculous.

Am I the only one who gets excessively excited about such things? I thought being on the Kiss Cam was awesome. And also, I was extremely pleased that the cameraman picked us out of the crowd as a kiss-worthy couple. I think that must say something about our body language. Right?

Everybody loves a long weekend.

So, last night we went to a hockey game, the first I'd ever attended. I'm not a violent person, but I was kind of hoping there would be fights so I could see the legendary blood bouncing on ice. Tragically, that didn't happen, but there was plenty of body slamming and even a couple of fist fights. Hockey is such a violent sport. The game ended in a tie, so there was a shootout that lasted twelve rounds before anyone actually made a goal. I always wondered how hockey players managed to score with such a tiny goal. Apparently, it's as difficult as it looks.

Anyway, today is the start of my four(!)-day-weekend, so this isn't going to be much of a post. Instead, I leave you with the photo of Brooke, Toby, and myself that I wanted to include with this post but did not, at the time, have scanned:


Have a great weekend! What are your plans?