2018: The year of baby steps

(Previous years: 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007)  

1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?
Sent both my kids on an unaccompanied flight (transatlantic, no less). Got super involved in public school politics and advocacy. Got an IUD stuck (!) and had to have a camera-guided procedure to get it out. Had my basement flood (twice!). Started down the path of managing ADHD in my kiddos. Started a real, habitual, extensive skincare routine (and stuck with it). Helped my child participate in feeding therapy. Took a solo trip to Hawaii (mostly for work, but still). Read 214 books. Have my kid figure out the truth about Santa et al., and then help participate in creating the magic for his sister. 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year I said, "I'd like to make some progress toward financial recovery from quite a few large unexpected expenses that we incurred this year, and I'd like to be more on top of keeping my photos organized." We did make some financial progress, but not as much as I'd liked, and I did get some of my photos organized, but not nearly all of them, so overall I'd say this was kind of a wash. For next year I'd like to stick to a more detailed budget as a family, and get some of the messy spaces in our house organized.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A very good friend from college.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico. Domestically, I went to Washington DC, Baltimore, Oahu, Maine, Durham (NC), and Charleston (SC).

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
A president I trust. More financial organization. 

7. What moments from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Some moments related to figuring out kid mental health and support type stuff, some moments related to seeing our country take atrocious actions against vulnerable populations (oh hey I just noticed I said something very similar last year, how charming), Montana getting clear scans at her oncology follow-ups, some decisions I made for myself around my own health stuff, our absolutely incredible family trip to Maine and how FUN and relaxing it was (first time our kids have been old enough for us to really feel that way about a family vacation), my friends continuing to show up, over and over, in real, meaningful, complicated, loving ways.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
To my own surprise, my answer here is parenting-related for the second year in a row. Both our kids needed a lot from us this year as we tried to figure out their ADHD and associated challenges and support them in a balanced way. It was really tricky and demanded a lot from us in terms of both emotional as well as tangible resources, and certainly we don't have the whole thing perfected yet, but I do feel like I came through for my whole family on mental health and support this year, and we are all thriving, and I feel really good about that.

9. What was your biggest failure?
A fair bit of unnecessary guilt and self-blame. I was going to say that I should have implemented more financial organization measures sooner, but seeing the first point, I'm going to try to let go of that idea and just be glad we're in a good place now.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major (and nobody was hospitalized this year!), but it was definitely a year of working on family mental health stuff, which was both time-consuming and pricey.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets. Do health care services count as a purchase? A couple pieces of art from some of our favorite places that we really treasure every time we look at them.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I'm stealing last year's answer, because apparently last year I was feeling very articulate. On a micro level: Torsten's, like every year. He has done a ton of hard work and our whole family is benefitting. On a macro level: All the people who've stepped up to counter the appalling words and actions of our government by helping each other, supporting each other, protesting, donating, voting, and resisting.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My answer from the last two years still stands: People who are irrationally and unconsciously (or consciously, for that matter) motivated by white identity and perceived threat to their desired world order. This year I'll put a finer point on it: All the people who've seen Trump do every horrible thing we expected and then some, and continue to support him.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Same answer for the seventh straight year: our mortgage and childcare, and I will keep last year's addition of health care.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our family. The work we did to make sure everyone's needs are met and they are thriving. Democrats taking over the house, and the door-knocking I did to unseat a Republican Congressman in a nearby district seeing results.

16. What song will always remind you of 2018?
No Tears Left to Cry by Ariana Grande

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) About the same
b) Thinner
c) Poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I'm gonna repeat last year's answer: Sleeping. Working out. Volunteering.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Driving? Somehow there was so much driving. Going to Target and generally running tiny errands all the time. Possibly these two items are related.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Visiting my parents in North Carolina, followed by Torsten and me going to Charleston by ourselves for a few days while our kids stayed with my parents.

21. Did you fall in love in 2018?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program? 
I basically did not watch TV this year because I spent so much time reading, so I really don't know. I do have a long list of shows I'd like to check out in 2019, though.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Borrowing last year's answer: I'd say my hatred for evil, self-interested members of government has sharpened, if that counts.

24. What was the best book you read?
Real American by Julie Lythcott-Haims.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.

26. What did you want and get?
A happy family with a solid, comfortable life routine. 

27. What did you want and not get?
Like last year: A government that believes in the republic and cares about the people it represents (or any people, for that matter).

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Incredibles 2

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
It was a low-key day... we just went out for a casual dinner as a family, and it was lovely. I turned 34.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A trustworthy government. 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
This year I discovered shorts. They're amazing! Did you know? They're comfortable and they keep your legs so nice and cool. Why didn't someone tell me about these magical things earlier? Also, hoodies featured heavily this year.

32. What kept you sane?
Same as the last four years: My little family. My group of best friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm bad at this.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Immigration, income inequality, class warfare, general corruption?

35. Who did you miss?
Similar answer to the past nine years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away. 

36. Who was the best new person you met?
We met some great people this year, but in particular Callum made a close friend on his new soccer team, and his family is lovely as well, and they've been a great addition to our lives.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.
Feeling that the current circumstances are uniquely horrible is a privileged perspective, as this country has been treating vulnerable people like shit for centuries. Still, it's better to become woke late than never, and we can all do what we can to resist, even if it's not 100% of our effort 100% of the time.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.

Happy New Year, everybody!

TWO.

Our chunky, squashy newborn with the rubber band wrists is no longer. These is no baby in this household anymore. Because this baby girl is TWO:

At two, Annika is a wonder. She runs everywhere. She loves horses and dogs and dolls and fire trucks and Legos. She sings and dances frequently. She loves to watch football, and gets very angry and yells "MORE BRONCOS!" whenever a commercial comes on. She is obsessed with her brother and wants to do everything he does. She is very physical and loves to jump and horse around. If she falls down and hurts herself, you can usually avert the meltdown by saying, "Can you say..." and her face will light up and she will shout, "BOINK!" She is so, so happy, nearly all of the time.

She talks up a storm. She says four-word sentences, has her "me/I" and "you" pronouns down (alas), uses subjects and verbs correctly, and has just in the last day or two started figuring out to invert subject and verb to ask a question (this morning she asked me, "Can you help me?"). She has very firm opinions on every topic (also this morning, when I went in her room I said "happy birthday!" and she said "NO HAPPY BIRTHDAY"--but changed her tune after opening a couple gifts). If you ask her if she's a muffin, she will loudly say, "No, I a NUT NUT BEAR." She sang "happy birthday" to herself all the way to preschool today.

She is a creature of habit, and likes her routine, but is getting better and better at rolling with the punches. We have learned that she needs to be informed about things in advance so that she has time to process--not just that bedtime or whatever is in a few minutes, but also what is going to happen over the course of the day, especially anything out of the ordinary. Armed with that information, though, she can handle everything, but is definitely a verbal processor, as we will hear her talking about any upcoming plans or changes in routine pretty much nonstop.

Her hair is definitely curly. Her eye color is still undetermined... they are not as blue as they once were, and seem to be turning to green or gray or maybe hazel? She remains near the top of the charts for size. She always wants to pick out her own clothes and her own bowl and spoon, and put the top on her milk cup herself. She loves to be a helper and she's surprisingly efficient at cleaning up. She has a little conscience, and knows when she's doing something wrong (yesterday I found her holding an iPad and when I walked in, she jumped guiltily, put it down, and said, "No iPad. Callum's iPad"). She also has a little sense of humor, and laughs hysterically after she tells her toddler jokes, or after anyone else has a bodily function of any kind. She says "bless you!" when people sneeze or cough or hiccup. She is sensitive, and if she gets scolded her giant eyes will well up with tears and her face will fall and she will run sobbing into my arms for a hug. If she is playing roughly and you ask her to give gentle touches, she will softly stroke the person's hair before immediately returning to her roughhousing. She loves to give hugs and kisses, and will request them frequently and then lay her little curly head on your shoulder and snuggle in.

She is a pure delight. Happy birthday to our big girl.

State of the kiddos, volume 1

Now that my kids are a little older, I'm not writing monthly letters to them anymore, which is, well, surprisingly freeing but also means I have much less of a record of what they're like, what they've been doing, how they're changing over time. So... every now and then I'd love to do a little capture of what they're like at that moment in time. This one is long because, well, it's the first one in awhile... hopefully future installments will be a little shorter.

Callum
Callum is feeling more and more like he's rounding the corner into the fun part of age four. The behavior chart has helped a lot, and while he definitely engages in some limit testing and gets frustrated sometimes, he's whining much less and is very happy and helpful. It's been fascinating to watch him grow into a real little person and observe more and more about the way his mind works.

The thing that stands out to me the most is that he's just such a kind, thoughtful person. The other day we suggested a special outing to the children's museum, just him, while Annika was at daycare, and he responded that he would rather wait for a day when Annika could come too because she loves the ball room at the children's museum. I mean. Couldn't you just die? It was so sweet and thoughtful, beyond what I would expect from a four-year-old. He runs outside and picks dandelions for us and tells us that he brought us a beautiful flower and it smells so good and carefully puts it into a cup of water for us to keep. He tells me "have fun at work!" when I say goodbye to him in the mornings. He is so loving with Annika (though of course he gets frustrated when she takes his toys) and they play together amazingly well. He pretty much never lies, and if he says he'll do something, we know he will. He's very affectionate, and wants endless numbers of hugs, but he's also very independent, and will happily play on his own for hours.

He notices everything, and has started attempting to negotiate the world with us the way we do with him. For example, if he wants us to do something he will tell us that we should do it so that we can get a sticker for our chart, or that if we don't do it, he won't let us have our favorite food (we actually don't use food as a reward or consequence ever, but he has evidently picked up on that concept anyway). He's extremely observant, and we often hear ourselves reflected in him in the way he talks to us and plays with his toys. He comes up with clever ways to try to get around the things we say. Recently he told me that kids make the rules, and I told him no, grown-ups make the rules, and he thought for a minute and told me that in that case, his stuffed Olaf actually gets to make the rules, because he's 701 years old and that's older than anyone else in the house.

He's very creative. He engages in long, complex imaginative play on his own with fully detailed scenarios and ongoing conversations that he acts out among all the characters. He has started liking to draw and paint and generally do art a lot more than he ever did before. He makes up stories about toys and puzzles and pictures, and will build things like Octonauts out of any toys he has on hand. He still loves cars, both the vehicles and the movie.

He loves numbers and seems to have a natural mind for them. He can count at least to 1,000 and sometimes beyond. He can read three-digit numbers and is starting to be able to read four-digit numbers too. He can compare numbers (a week or so ago in a parking lot he was reading license plates, saw two cars next to each other with an 848 and a 691 on their plates, and said to me, "Eight hundred forty-eight is more than six hundred ninety-one"). He can do simple math if you ask him conceptually (like "if you have five apples and you eat two apples, how many apples do you have left?") and he can envision a mental number line and tell you which number is closer to another (for example, "which number is closer to six--three or eight?"). He can read a digital clock to tell you what time it is and is just starting to grasp what time actually means (rather than thinking that if you say something is happening in three hours, he can just count to three and it will be time). He loves puzzles and can do up to 70-80 pieces entirely independently, and 100 pieces with some assistance. He asks questions about numbers constantly, things like how fast we are going and what the temperature is.

Every now and then he gives a little glimpse into his four-year-old logic, like last week when he asked me how fast we were driving and I told him 30 and he asked with great puzzlement how that could be, because we could only drive 20, 40, 60, 80, 100, or 120. It took me a minute to realize he must have taken a look at the speedometer once and seen that those are the only numbers actually printed on it. Or, once recently he commented that we were driving past a school. I looked around and did not see an obvious school and finally noticed a tiny sign in the distance marking a nearby school. There was no way he could possibly have seen that sign or known what it meant, so I asked him how he knew there was a school nearby, and he said, "Because the sign said 20!" After a moment I realized that he had deduced (correctly) that 20mph speed limit signs almost always denote a school zone.

He's extremely active. He's always on the move and always running. He loves to jump, slide, swing, scoot, bike, swim, hike, roughhouse. He has boundless energy and always wants to be outside. He can walk or scoot surprisingly long distances without complaining. When we went on a hike a couple weeks ago he sat down and complained one time, not because he was tired but rather because he was upset that Torsten had scolded him. Once he got over that, he happily sang to himself the entire rest of the hike.

He is still big, but not off the charts big like he was as a baby. He hovers around 70th-80th percentile. I believe he's about 42 inches and 42 pounds. He remains picky and doesn't eat much, but somehow the situation feels less dire than it used to--with the behavior chart we have at least gotten him to take bites of things that he would previously absolutely reject, like chicken and salami and even a piece of spinach, and he expresses a desire to eat his dinner even if he then falls at the final hurdle of actually eating it, and altogether even though he's not really eating much more than he ever did, I feel like we might be starting to see the slightest sliver of light at the end of this particular tunnel.

He remains, as he has been since babyhood, a happy and laid-back kid. He is still sensitive, and gets hurt feelings if he gets scolded or any kind of negative attention, but he is quickly reassured with hugs and talking it out. He reacts surprisingly well to transitions--when we told him he was going to change schools in the fall he had questions, and still does, but was surprisingly fine with it given how much he loves his old school. It feels like... like he's never really had his trust violated and so he has no awareness that bad things could happen to him. I hope he stays that way for a long time.

He is our sweet, loving, clever boy. We are so lucky.

Annika
Annika also feels like she is rounding a corner into a pleasant age. The first half of age one is always challenging (though adorable) because the motor skills are there but the cognitive skills not so much, so you're basically looking at a fetus on feet (TM Jonna). As she gets closer to two she has become better at listening and a little more self-regulated (though, obviously, still a toddler). She is happy and energetic and deeply opinionated.

She is surprisingly good at communicating. I was keeping track of her vocabulary and gave up after about 75 words, but she has to be well over 100 words by now. She puts two and three words together in sentences, and is just beginning to grasp pronouns and verbs (she will say things like "Mommy go" and "me down"). She has also very much mastered the art of the word "no" and will combine it beautifully with other words to very clearly articulate exactly what it is that she does not want ("no night-night!" "no Daddy!"). She is learning sign language at daycare and will add signs to her words for extra emphasis (such as saying and signing "all done" or "more" simultaneously). Her newest phrase is "me too," which just debuted two days ago when Callum asked for some milk and she came racing into the kitchen while I was pouring it yelling "me too!" She says please and thank you quite consistently. She has also started doing an angry clap for emphasis when she is particularly upset, where she will yell what she's upset about and then smack her hands together sharply to make her point even clearer.

 

She has very strong opinions and isn't afraid to express them. She definitely has quite the feisty personality. If she doesn't want to be carried she will stiffen her whole body in an attempt to cause you to drop her, danger be damned. If she wants a toy from Callum and he won't give it to her she will scream bloody murder as though she'd just sustained a serious bodily injury. When her will is thwarted she can throw the mother of all tantrums. If you try to distract her or calm her down she just gets angrier. The other day Callum gave her the toy she was requesting, then started playing with another toy. When she saw his toy she gave up her own and tried to get it from him. I told her that Callum was having a turn and she could have a turn after he was done. I then tried to get her to play with the first toy. She slammed the toy on the ground, stamped her foot, ran in a screaming/sobbing circle around the room, came back to the toy, picked it up and slammed it on the ground again, did a huge angry clap, and then threw herself on the ground kicking and screaming. She's tenacious, too--she kept it up until Callum finished his turn with the toy she wanted and gave it to her, at which point she was immediately happy again. Given the magnitude of her rages, she gets over them surprisingly quickly--if she has a meltdown because she wants me instead of Torsten, she stops crying and starts acting totally normal the second I pick her up.

I don't mean to make it sound like she is all tantrums, because she absolutely isn't--they aren't even particularly frequent given her age--it's just that when she does have them, they are spectacular. But when she's not angry, she's a delight (OK, her anger is actually kind of delightful too in its hilarity). She's very resilient--runs around, falls down, maybe cries for a second, hops back up. Since she has a big brother she's used to running with the big kids and it's very important to her to keep up. She idolizes Callum and wants to do everything he does. Her gross motor skills are strong--she can jump off the ground from a standing position and does it frequently; she can climb up the slide and ladder on our play structure; she can run and climb stairs and dance. I can only assume that she does all these things because she sees Callum do them, and whatever Callum (or "Cow-cow" as she calls him) does, she believes she can do too.

She continues to be a great eater, though slightly less willing to devour whatever is put in front of her than she was as a baby. She particularly loves all meat and fruit, and can eat endless amounts of lox and tangerines specifically. The only foods we've found that she doesn't like are mushrooms and watermelon. She is also not big on carbs, especially bread. She's basically the opposite of her brother when it comes to solid food, but they share their deep and abiding love of milk, and we've started limiting her intake a bit as well to be sure she continues to consume a variety of solid foods rather than filling up on calories from milk alone.

She's really into dolls, which she calls babies--she owns maybe eight or ten of them and always has to have one of them with her. She will carry armfuls of them around with her and she loves to play pretend with them--she puts them in the baby swing on the swingset in our yard, pushes them around in our toy stroller and shopping cart, puts them to bed under a dishtowel and then tells them "night night" while patting their butts, hugs them, and puts them in her high chair and pretends to feed them. She is big into imitating right now, and will hold a toy phone (or our actual phones, if she manages to grab them) to her ear and say "LO?" She has an independent streak and tries to brush her own teeth and comb her own hair. Speaking of hair, I feel confident enough to say that hers is definitively curly, and, well, I'm delighted.

She loves daycare, and talks about her teacher and all her little friends. She knows the drop-off routine and prompts us through each step of it each morning. Her teachers love her, and talk about how sweet and quiet she is at school, which is hilarious for us to hear because she's so not quiet at all when she's at home (though her teachers say this is very common). Every morning at drop-off she gets a giant smile on her face and gives Callum a huge hug when it's time to say goodbye. She gives me a hug too, but that special hug and smile are reserved entirely for her adored brother.

She loves to be outside. If one of us goes near the backdoor she comes running over asking, "ow-side? Ow-SIDE?" And she will full-on weep if we don't let her go out. She can happily spend all day out there, running around, playing with the water table and the sandbox, climbing the slide, trying to ride the tricycle, and playing with her dolls. If she's upset about something she can almost always be cheered up by being taken outside or for a walk. She is surprisingly good at independent play, and can play on her own with the play kitchen or many of her other toys for extended periods of time. She also loves the toys that are theoretically too old for her, like magformers and legos, and will spend ages playing with them. She sits in a booster at the table almost all of the time now, and pretty much never in her high chair--she desperately wants to be a big kid and man, she is getting close.

She is smart--she understands absolutely everything we say and responds to it, often catching us off-guard. She has very quickly figured out what certain things mean, and surprises us by reacting to things that we didn't even think she knew about. She comes up with clever ideas to try to get what she wants, such as announcing that she's hungry when she knows bedtime is coming in hopes of staving it off.

She is fiercely independent and wants to do everything Cow-cow can do, but she is very big into hugs and kisses (which she delivers with a loud smack), and loves to show us things and check in with us regularly. She is almost always happy and has a giant, room-lighting smile. She laughs constantly, never louder than when she and Callum are playing.

She is our affectionate, clever, feisty girl. We are so lucky.

Swimming, and sibling relationships

Yesterday was the kids' first pool day of the season and it was lovely. The pool is pretty much the hardest place to get photos because, you know, it's best to have your phone out of harm's way where nobody can drip all over it or drop it in the pool, and then there's also the small matter of supervising two active children near a body of water, and, well, the net sum is that photos at the pool are not a thing that happen for us, at least not very often.

So! I don't have visual documentation, but it was delightful. Last summer pool season started when Annika was about seven months old, and we had one of these for her, which was great for an infant but obviously wouldn't be at all useful for her now. We purchased a Puddle Jumper for Callum last year on the recommendation of pretty much the entire Internet, and that was wonderful--I know some people say they aren't helpful in teaching a kid how to swim because they create a false sense of safety and buoyancy, but we actually noticed that it really helped Callum, not to mention that it's pretty much necessary to have a flotation device on each child at the pool if they outnumber the adults. They had Puddle Jumpers at Costco for cheap a month or two back so I snapped one up for Annika and it was great.

Both kids were delighted with the water, and surprisingly fearless. Annika loved the freedom of the Puddle Jumper, and got annoyed when anyone tried to so much as hold her hand in the water. They both wanted the pool toys. And Callum made a friend and spent the whole morning playing with her. He was falling all over himself to tell us about it later, how he made a friend and they jumped into the water off the steps together and they played with diving sticks together and when she was afraid to go underwater to get the stick he went under and got it for her to help her, and oh, my big boy. I mean of course he's been in daycare or preschool for 2.5 years now, he has lots of friends, he gets along with other kids, he's not shy around them, he chats with strange kids at the park, but something about this particular scenario, I don't know, it just kills me. Last summer at the pool he was too young for that kind of instant friendship. He would interact with the other kids a little, but he was more interested in playing on his own or with us, or jumping in or going down the water slide. This year he's such a big, independent KID, making friends with other kids and spending hours playing with them, wholly on their own.

Also, Annika was NOT happy about Callum's new friend--she wanted to play with him herself. That's an interesting new element of their relationship that she's not had to experience before--of course he goes off to preschool without her and she spends time at home without him sometimes, but she hasn't really been in a situation where he was playing with a kid her own age and she couldn't really keep up. Even when he's had friends over for play dates, she's either run around with them or just happily done her own thing. This was the first time where they were participating in the same activity but she was essentially excluded. That is a feeling that I remember well from my own childhood as a younger sibling--my sister having friends over and me wanting to hang out with them but not being allowed, and feeling very wrong-footed about having our usual dynamic interrupted. Not that I blame my sister, or Callum, for that--it's totally normal and within bounds to want to hang out with your friends without your pesky little sister tagging along--but it's just sort of trippy to see a similar scenario playing out with your own kids.

Also, weirdly, it gives me some faith in the balance of the relationship between Annika and Callum. This is something that deserves its own post, and it's one that I am working on finding the right language to articulate, but  in sum: they have a great relationship, truly, to a surprising level, and they care for each other and they play well together and they clearly love each other, but sometimes Annika comes across as a little more dominant, somehow. Just a little feistier, a little less laid back, a little more willing to railroad than he is. And I think that's a good way for the dynamic to play out, that the younger one, the one who doesn't innately have the power of being the cool older bigger funner one, is willing to assert herself, and the older one is gentle and thoughtful--I think that will be good for their relationship in the long run but it was nice to see that sometimes Callum can assert his will too.

All this from a single trip to the pool! But I guess that's really where these moments happen, all the little pieces that make up their childhood and their relationship. There will be lots more pool days for these two this summer... I'm excited for them all.

Big girl room

Recently Torsten has been suggesting that we think about moving Annika out of her crib sooner than later. Since she is very good at independent play, he is thinking that if she can get out of bed by herself in the mornings and is in a childproofed room, she might be happy and play on her own for awhile before disturbing us, which would be lovely on the weekends (and this did happen with Callum so it's not totally unreasonable). However, she's only 19 months old--we moved Callum a couple months after he turned two--and up til now she's been perfectly happy in her crib, so I wasn't in any kind of rush to make the switch.

However, that timeline may have just gotten expedited, because in the last couple days, she's started doing this:

Now, lifting her leg onto the crib rail isn't the same as actual climbing out, which requires significant additional strength and flexibility, BUT I recall distinctly that with Callum it was none too long between when he started doing that with his foot and when we first heard the telltale thud of him landing (on his feet, thankfully) on the floor next to his crib one morning. And Annika is much more nimble and willing to take risks than Callum ever was. We could probably troubleshoot our way around this--Jonna suggested, in a genius manner telling of her own personal experience with this issue, turning our crib around so the high side faces out and putting it in a corner so there's only one short side, and attaching very stiff cardboard to said short side--and if she starts climbing out before we have another bed available for her, we may do that--but I think she has a personality that could handle a big girl bed, so I don't see a reason not to do that instead of trying to thwart her will and keep her in her crib for longer.

So! Unexpectedly, I am thinking about her big girl room. Our plan is, and has been for awhile, to move her into the room that is currently Torsten's office and make that her permanent bedroom. It's bigger than the nursery and offers a lot more options for furniture configuration. That also allows me to start with a clean slate when it comes to decor. Nobody will be surprised to hear that purple will figure heavily--but actually, I am not thinking that we will paint the walls purple. I browsed through a TON of photos of purple rooms online and out of all of them, there were only a couple that hit the sweet spot of a lovely muted pale purple that wasn't overwhelming or excessively childish, and frankly, I don't trust our ability to select a paint color that will give that same feeling. Plus if the walls were purple that would limit my ability to go with purple accessories without creating a bordello feel.

So! I'm thinking light gray walls and then lots of purple accessories--curtains/blinds (conveniently, since we haven't ordered our blinds yet, we can switch one of them from the planned gray to a nice purple), artwork, bedding, rug, even some furniture. Basically a similar concept to Callum's room except a lighter gray on the walls and both light and dark purples instead of blue and orange. I have not been able to find an inspiration photo online that exactly sums up what I'm picturing (though I've started a Pinterest board of photos that have useful elements), but this one comes the closest (as far as color scheme only as it is not at ALL the style I'm envisioning for the room--but it nicely shows off the light gray walls complemented by purple accessories):

One big question we are mulling over is whether to get a bunk bed or not. Annika and Callum have their own rooms and we like it that way and plan to keep it so, but it would be nice if they could share a room if they wanted, or if we needed them to if we had lots of guests (which has happened a couple times), and also it would be convenient for sleepovers when they're older. However, Annika has shown herself to be something of a climber, at least compared to Callum (she's not like Liz's Reagan, though, let's be clear). So, the bunk bed would certainly need to be babyproof, or at least not have a ladder for her to climb up. Right now I'm leaning toward getting a cheap-ish IKEA bed (like this one, the same that Callum has) for now and then switching out to a bunk bed in a few years when she is more rational and less of a menace to herself, or at least getting a bunk bed where you can remove the ladder or potentially hold off on installing the top bunk for awhile. I was looking at the bunk bed that it seems half the internet has, but a) it's out of stock in white and it has to be white to match the furniture we already have, and b) I want the bottom to be a full and I'm dubious about the extension kit this one has to make that happen.

Anyway, we aren't fully decided on this, so please weigh in! Do you have bunk beds for your kids? At what age did you get them? Are there any babyproofing tricks and tips for them? Do you think they're a terrible idea? I want to hear all opinions on this matter, please and thank you.

12 months old, by the numbers

12: Months old!

84: Gallons of formula/milk drunk

5082: Hours spent sleeping

2241: Diapers changed

113: Hours spent nursing

1: Stomach bug

2: Ruptured eardrums

5: Words you say

0: Foods you dislike

23.6: Pounds you weigh (93rd percentile)

31.25: Inches tall (98th percentile)

7: Teeth

6: Flights taken

4: Flights barfed on

2: Siblings who adore each other

1: Delightful, perfect, red-haired baby (toddler?) girl

Eleven months old

Dear Annika,

Four days ago (sorry!), you turned 11 months old. Meaning that next time I do this, you will be ONE!

This month has been another month of explosions for you, the two biggest being that you have started to walk and you have started to say a couple words. A couple weeks ago you took a few tentative steps, and you have slowly been increasing since then. By now you walk steadily for 8-10 steps at a time, and occasionally walk as a mode of transportation, even though crawling is still faster. You've also figured out how to stand up without pulling or bracing yourself on anything, by pushing into a downward dog and then straightening upright. You LOVE walking and get a huge smile on your face, usually accompanied by delighted laughter, whenever you do it.

This month you've also started saying some words. You definitely say "doggie" (pronounced "dah-gah" like your brother before you), and I'm 95% sure you say "Mama" and 90% sure that you say "more." You follow instructions, or make deliberate decisions not to, which is hilarious--you hear a request, light up with a knowing grin, and then do the exact opposite (such as crawling away when we've asked you to come here). You've also started pointing this month, and will point at the dog or at things you want (mostly food), though you still aren't super consistent about this one.

 

You're really into toys by now,with a tractor that makes noises and drives as your especial favorite. You are starting to develop your own ideas about how the world works, such as trying to fit a giant teddy bear into a small toy race car in a very determined manner, or copying things your brother does. You also love the toy kitchen, and can happily stand there banging pots and pans together and opening and closing the doors for basically indefinite periods of time. You seem to have a preference for variety, and are happiest when we are out and about with things to do and look at.

You are still eating and sleeping well, without much variance month to month. You still sleep 11-12 hours at night with a 2-3 hour nap most days. You eat every solid food we offer you (pulled pork continues to be a favorite and you also love broccoli, bananas, all meat, and basically everything new), and are eating about 35 ounces of formula most day (this will be milk in the near future!). You got one new tooth this month, for a total of six.

Mealtimes are as joyous for the dog as they are for you, as you've discovered the delight of sharing your food with her. Throwing food is a hilarious new pastime for you, though I personally could live without it. You continue to follow your growth curve perfectly--I think you're about 23 pounds 3 ounces (93rd percentile) and 31 inches (99th percentile)--and you're still solidly in size 18-month clothing.

By now you just have so much PERSONALITY. You're very laid back and mellow and can roll with pretty much anything, but you also demonstrate preferences pretty clearly. You spent much of the last week with your Oma and Opa, whom you didn't really know as you were just born the last time you saw them, and while the first day you were a little fussy and clingy with me in the evening, you've adapted quickly and clearly love them, which is adorable and gratifying to watch. You are very active, always on the move, wanting to crawl and walk everywhere and explore every nook and cranny you can find. It's hard to describe, but you're just an incredibly sparkly little person, with a strong and adorable personality. Being with you is just so fun. We are so lucky we get to have you in our family.

Love,
Mama

Ten months old

Dear Annika,

Today you are 10 months old. Ten! Only two more of these until you are ONE, and we are done with the monthly photos. Judging from your desire to rip your 10-month sticker off your onesie while I took your photo today, I'd say that might not be a bad thing.

 

This month has been all about the standing. You always want to be upright, and you're very good. You pull yourself to standing on almost anything, and you only need a surface of an inch or two (like a puzzle box) to get yourself upright. Once you're up, you no longer need to hold on to anything to stay that way, and will stand upright totally unassisted, clapping your hands and banging toys together. You cruise and walk behind your walker wagon and once--just once--you attempted to take a step without holding on to anything. You failed, and landed right on your butt, but somehow I'm thinking actual first steps aren't too far in our future. You're also a crawling speed demon by now, and you can climb stairs, swapping back and forth between knees and feet, without any help (other than someone hovering behind you in case you lose your balance, obviously).

This has also been a big month for communication. Your babbling has become more varied and distinct, and you say lots of random syllables in combination as though you think you're talking. In addition to "more," which you still seem to be saying but I'm still not totally willing to make the call on, there are two more words that you are possibly saying, but that we haven't definitively determined: Mama (I'm almost positive on this one) and "doggie" (which I believe you use to refer to all animals and not just Montana as you also say it when looking at books that feature animal pictures, but again, this isn't consistent enough for us to be totally sure quite yet). You still clap your hands and you've started responding to other requests too, such as "hooray" (throw your hands in the air), "dance" (you bob your head energetically), and "come here" (you hold up your arms to be picked up). You've also started shaking your head no, which is extremely adorable.

Generally speaking you're just starting to turn into this person who is starting to understand how the world works. You know that hats go on heads, for example, and you will grab them and try to put them on your own or my head. You know how to get dressed and try to help us take your clothes on and off. You're very good at self-feeding and you've figured out how to drink water through a straw. You give yourself your own bottles. You play peekaboo and pat-a-cake and you try to copy your brother in whatever he does. You're also very firm in your opinions, and if something displeases you, you make it very clear. Your new trick is if you're mad and we try to distract you with a toy, you will take the toy, stare us straight in the eye, and then throw the toy down as hard as you can.

You continue to adore your brother, and have a surprising level of tolerance for his shenanigans and horseplay. His toys are your favorite, and wherever he goes, you will crawl as fast as you can to follow. He loves you too, thankfully, and always asks for you and wants to entertain you, and seeing the two of you together, laughing and playing, is basically the best thing that's ever happened to us.

Your eating and sleeping haven't changed all too much this month. You continue to sleep about 11-12 hours most nights, with a 2-3 hour nap most afternoons. Your formula intake still hovers around 30 ounces most days. You still adore solid food--I think you have a strong preference for variety, and get really excited whenever we give you anything new, and I would say that your favorite foods mostly appear to be meat-based. You got three new teeth this month, all on top, for a total of five. You're still in size 18-month clothing (which I expect will last for awhile), and my at-home measurements have you at 30.5 inches long (99th percentile) and 22.5 pounds (94th percentile).

You continue to have a very delightful, social little personality. You still have stranger danger, and have a strong preference for your family and the people you know, but we've learned about you that if we give you some time and reassurance and don't force it, you will, on your own terms, start to migrate away from us to explore new places and interact with new people. You remain extremely happy, and whenever you manage to do something successfully, you give such a huge, delighted grin, and it's just so clear that you are pleased with yourself. It's incredibly adorable. Just like everything you do. It's amazing--you're so little, not even a year yet, and yet you're already so YOU, and so RIGHT. We are so glad to have you.

Love,
Mama