2016: Good for me personally, terrible for... everyone else. And also the world. Which includes me, unfortunately. So... not an unmitigated success.

(Previous years: 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007)  

1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?
Sent my kid on a plane trip by himself. Took six work trips. Visited Michigan. Had a child hospitalized. Drove the 101. Helped my child learn to read. Dissected a squid. Went to therapy, and dumped a therapist. Bought my kids matching outfits. Filed a homeowners' insurance claim (due to a hailstorm). Wore a bright lip color. Caucused. Voted (and volunteered for) a woman for president. Sobbed over the results of a presidential election. Feared for our democracy.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year I said that I wanted to "buy a smaller 'real' camera that isn't quite so unwieldy and will be easier to carry around with us and grab to shoot with, so hopefully the photo thing will improve, and I want to keep blogging at least as much as I blogged from May through October of this year. We are going to try to potty train Annika. And I want to work with Torsten to find a balance that works for us now that we've hit a routine... the kids are getting older, there are no more babies in the house, we have school and daycare more or less figured out, work is reasonably stable... so now is the time to figure out some stuff about how our family life works best and how we can establish a division of labor and routine that make us both feel supported and not overwhelmed."

So, let's break those down:
1) We did not buy a real camera, so the photo thing didn't really improve, but Torsten did get an iPhone 7 Plus with the dual lens camera, and that has helped.
2) I blogged four times this year and not at all since May. So. No.
3) Annika did successfully potty train. Win.
4) The work-life balance for both of us was the big one, and I feel really good about it. We did a shit ton of really hard work, and it has paid off. We're in a really good spot with our routine and our relationship.

I am not sure about next year. Mostly I want to keep a good thing going with our routine, and do some travel.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Susie, Miriel, Arwen, Stephanie, and a work colleague/friend.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't leave the country this year, but I did a lot of domestic travel: to Albuquerque, Michigan, and the Bay Area with/to see friends; to the Pacific Coast, Maine (with bonus Boston visit including time with Jonna), North Carolina, and Charleston with family; and to Jacksonville, Chicago, San Diego, Seattle, Memphis, Baltimore, and DC for work.

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
Hope for our country's future. OK, this isn't a fair answer because I had a LOT of hope for our country's future for about 10 months of this year, and now I have very little. An endless travel budget.

7. What moments from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Seeing Torsten put in incredible amounts of work to get our family routine to where it needed to be, and the culmination of that with him accepting a new job with a solid work-life balance a couple months ago. Realizing Trump was going to win Wisconsin and thus the election and sobbing hysterically, and then having to tell the kids about it the next morning. Watching my kids' relationship with each other grow and deepen, and seeing how kind and thoughtful they are both turning out to be. Leaning on my friends hard when I needed to, and having them lean on me.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Continuing on my response from last year, I learned to channel my accommodating/fix-it impulses into speaking up and making things better for everyone, including myself, instead of trying to take on full responsibility for burdens that are typically shared. I invested everything I had to give into my marriage and my family and got incredible results. I unpacked some shit that was depleting my emotional resources and became a much better, and less yelling-prone, parent as a result.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failing to anticipate and emotionally prepare for the election result.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major, but this has been a BAD fall and early winter for stomach bugs, and it would be awesome if that could end any time now. Also, I got laryngitis this year for the first time ever, and that was deeply unpleasant.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A meal service that provides us with pre-cooked, nutritious meals three days per week so the cooking burden is lessened. New chairs for our living room and a table for our patio. Therapy.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Torsten's, like every year. I said up above that I invested everything I had into our family, but so did he, and I'd say he had the harder work to do. He stepped up like a champ and I am so grateful and proud.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
People who are irrationally and unconsciously (or consciously, for that matter) motivated by white identity and perceived threat to their desired world order.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Same answer for the sixth straight year: our mortgage and childcare.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our family. Torsten's new job. The prospect of Hillary Clinton as president.

16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier
b) Thinner
c) About the same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleeping. Working out. Volunteering.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Assuming that racism and myopic white men were no longer in charge of the world.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We came to visit my parents in North Carolina (where we still are). First we left the kids with my parents for a few days and Torsten and I drove down to Charleston, which was delightful. We came back up on Christmas Eve and had a nice peaceful Christmas with my parents and some family friends. My sister and her brood came down the next day and we repeated the whole shebang with significantly more chaos and cousin love.

21. Did you fall in love in 2016?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Gilmore Girls. Parenthood. I'm really with the times, I know.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
I'd say A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara, with runner-up credit to Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.

26. What did you want and get?
A happy family with a solid, comfortable life routine. A lot of travel. A lovely tenth anniversary gift from Torsten.

27. What did you want and not get?
Hillary Clinton as PEOTUS.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I think we only saw one movie in the theater this year, Finding Dory, which I liked but didn't love.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
My parents were supposed to fly in that day but we had a massive unexpected blizzard and their flight got cancelled. I woke up early in the morning to their phone call about it, then spent the next couple hours hashing out an alternate travel plan for them. We were housebound all day due to the snow, so we couldn't pick up my birthday cake and had to cancel our dinner plans, and had to try to work all day while our kids were home with a snow day and no childcare. Basically the day was pretty unpleasant and I called it a do-over and celebrated properly a couple days later once the roads were clear and my parents got to town. Torsten did give me a gorgeous necklace as a gift, which salvaged things pretty well. I turned 32.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
In my own little personal life, honestly, nothing. On a broader level, more enlightened voters and people who are interested in things like data and objective facts, and a different election outcome.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Dresses in the summer and skinny jeans with sweaters in winter. Necklaces and earrings almost every day.

32. What kept you sane?
Same as the last two years: My little family. My group of best friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm bad at this.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't even know what to say about this that I haven't already said. In addition to the horrifying racism, self-centeredness, and myopia of way too many voters in this country, I'm pretty appalled not just by the hostile foreign state that interfered with our election, but also by the number of people who don't seem to care or even seem to welcome it because it helped achieve the outcome they wanted. I'm extremely concerned about NATO, Syria, and foreign policy in general, as well as about things like basic civil rights and freedoms domestically. In sum, pretty much everything about politics stirred me deeply this year and while 2016 was a terrible year for many people, I'm extremely concerned that 2017 is going to be significantly worse.

35. Who did you miss?
Similar answer to the past seven years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away. Particular shoutout to my delightful local bestie who then moved to Singapore, since she became a new addition to the list of friends I am always missing.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Some moms of Callum's kindergarten classmates who've become good personal friends of mine.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.
Misinformation is dangerous. Don't underestimate the power of denied feelings. (I really believe this election outcome was due to white men having lots of FEELINGS that they don't understand about no longer being the only demographic group with a seat at the table, and that's confusing for them because men don't have feelings because aren't feelings those inferior things that women keep having that hold them back, along with their periods? I don't know what's happening but it doesn't feel good and I'm pretty sure I should express those unpleasant feelings by voting for the guy in the preposterous hat who says the insane things that make me FEEL good even though I don't have feelings so I'm going to point to a lot of fake claims with no supporting data to justify my vote because it's not possible that I'm voting based on FEELINGS that I don't actually believe I have.) Do the best you can and stay your course and try to help people even when everything feels overwhelmingly daunting.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.

Happy New Year, everybody! Fingers crossed our system of government is still intact at the end of it.

A year of personal growth

(Previous years: 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007)  

1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?
Traveled internationally with two children. Biked in a race. Sent a child to public school. Commissioned a painting. Took two kids on a beach vacation (pretty sure that trip single-handedly ensured the success of the sunscreen industry this year). Hosted my French host family at our home. Flew by myself with two kids. Visited Isla Mujeres. Started a five-year diary, and wrote in it every day.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year I said that I wanted "to do some more organizing (nursery and basement closets: I'm looking at you), blog about something real from time to time, get the kids' college funds in order, and take more photos with our real camera." I did get the nursery and basement closets organized, as well as Torsten's whole office, which was our catch-all room, so that's a yes. I did return to blogging, which has been great, though it's petered out a bit toward the end of the year. The college funds remain an ongoing thing to resolve. The camera photos... eh. Some, but not enough. So, two out of four. Next year I think we may buy a smaller "real" camera that isn't quite so unwieldy and will be easier to carry around with us and grab to shoot with, so hopefully the photo thing will improve, and I want to keep blogging at least as much as I blogged from May through October of this year. We are going to try to potty train Annika. And I want to work with Torsten to find a balance that works for us now that we've hit a routine... the kids are getting older, there are no more babies in the house, we have school and daycare more or less figured out, work is reasonably stable... so now is the time to figure out some stuff about how our family life works best and how we can establish a division of labor and routine that make us both feel supported and not overwhelmed.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Jonna, as well as two of my college friends, Jill and Jen.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico and Germany. I also took both kids to Maryland and Pennsylvania as a surprise for my mom's 60th birthday, went to Albuquerque for PJs at TJ's, went to Boston and Chicago for girls' weekends, attended a wedding (with bonus Susie and Miranda time) in the Bay Area, and went to DC for work.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
A skincare routine that consistently keeps my skin in good condition. A bit more balance in our home life.

7. What moments from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Watching Callum transition to a new and very different preschool, and seeing how he has thrived and built friendships there. Seeing Annika develop into this incredible little PERSON with opinions and verbal skills and a sense of humor and, yes, curly hair. Spending time with Torsten in Mexico and having some really important state of the union conversations about our future goals for our family. Going on a family trip to the North Sea with great trepidation, only to discover that it's completely amazing and we want to go back as often as we can. Surprising my mom with a visit to Hershey with all her grandkids for her birthday, and spending a week in Pennsylvania during an incredible cold snap. Getting to a deeper plane of friendship with my closest friends, and seeing how we all collectively love and support each other through all kinds of shit.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I spoke up for myself, on a couple different fronts, and got the results I wanted. I have learned that I tend to be a problem-solver not just for myself but for everyone around me, and a person who always wants to accommodate other people, and sometimes that means I don't do what I need for myself, and that is something I've been working on, and I think it's actually starting to take.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not always stepping back and seeing the broader perspective. Failing to understand underlying reasons for things, and reacting with frustration and snippiness as a result.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A FitBit. The aforementioned commissioned painting (a watercolor of the cottage in Maine that we always stay at). Skincare products. Earrings (after I finally got my messed-up left ear piercing fixed). A rowing machine.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Torsten's, like every year. He has watched me go through my own little set of epiphanies and adjustments, and they haven't always been easy on him, and he hasn't always known how to handle them, but he has been right there, in it with me, wanting to help, wanting to know what he can do, and trying really hard to support me. And all while dealing with his own stuff--a challenging job, his own figuring out of work-life balance, his fitness.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
People who are incapable of friendship on a deep level, but pretend otherwise and thus make a mockery of what it means to truly love and support and trust your friends.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Same answer for the fifth straight year: our mortgage and childcare.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our family. I am loving this phase and feeling really good about how our lives will look as a family of four moving forward. The prospect of years of all of us together laying out in front of us makes me feel really happy.

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
Bad Blood by Taylor Swift

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier
b) Thinner - all baby weight is finally gone
c) About the same - maybe a little richer in the boring ways like retirement accounts and home equity

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleeping. Working out.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Waiting for problems to get fixed without me contributing.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
My parents came to visit (they're still here, actually). We had a very nice, l0w-key Christmas with happy kids, lovely gifts for everyone, and a delicious dinner in our pajamas. Both kids are completely in love with their grandparents, and we've been enjoying a really nice, pleasant visit.

21. Did you fall in love in 2015?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
House of Cards. Cheers. Veep.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
I read a lot of books this year, which I'm pleased about, AND I tracked them all, so I was able to look at my list to pick a favorite, and I think it was I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.

26. What did you want and get?
A happy family. Work-life balance for myself. A really lovely Christmas present from Torsten (and another from a dear friend).

27. What did you want and not get?
A magic bullet. A foolproof eyebrow shape.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I think we only saw one movie in the theater this year, Inside Out, which I liked, though it was by far not my favorite Pixar movie.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Torsten gave me my gifts (a gorgeous watch and earrings) in the morning before work, then we took a lunch break together and grabbed Chipotle and birthday cake. After work, Torsten and I went out on our own for dinner at my favorite restaurant. I turned 31.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I've said this for the last couple of years, but I really mean it: truly, nothing. Not to say that it was a perfect year or that everything in my life is ideal, but it was deeply satisfying even in the hard parts, because I am winding up the year feeling like a team and a family, and knowing that we're all on the same side, and happy about our lives together. The satisfaction of that feeling papers over a lot of cracks.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
Pants that fit correctly. Colored jeans when possible. Venturing into the world of booties and earrings. 

32. What kept you sane?
Same as last year: My little family. My group of best friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm bad at this.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Like last year: Pretty much all of them. The refugee crisis is a big one at the moment, of course, though I find it depressing that it even qualifies as a political issue.

35. Who did you miss?
I'm slightly tweaking my answer from the past six years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away (this previously said pretty much all of them lived far away, but by now I have several very dear local friends who are lovely and sanity-saving, so I'm amending a smidge).

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Well, I didn't meet them this year, but there are two moms of classmates at Callum's old school who I've known for a couple years now but who have truly become close friends this year, and I love them both and am so grateful to have them. 

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
There are people who seem like fun and who can be enjoyable to spend time with, but not all of them are people who truly care about you and love you and will see you through any shit. Sometimes the people in the latter group mess up, and that's OK, because they will still be there after they mess up, trying to fix it. And, as always, follow your instincts. Sometimes there's a reason someone hasn't moved from the first category to the second. Sometimes people will say things that don't make sense, and that's when you need to look closer, because that's when you can discern who is really your person and who isn't.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.

Happy New Year, everybody!

Big girl room

Recently Torsten has been suggesting that we think about moving Annika out of her crib sooner than later. Since she is very good at independent play, he is thinking that if she can get out of bed by herself in the mornings and is in a childproofed room, she might be happy and play on her own for awhile before disturbing us, which would be lovely on the weekends (and this did happen with Callum so it's not totally unreasonable). However, she's only 19 months old--we moved Callum a couple months after he turned two--and up til now she's been perfectly happy in her crib, so I wasn't in any kind of rush to make the switch.

However, that timeline may have just gotten expedited, because in the last couple days, she's started doing this:

Now, lifting her leg onto the crib rail isn't the same as actual climbing out, which requires significant additional strength and flexibility, BUT I recall distinctly that with Callum it was none too long between when he started doing that with his foot and when we first heard the telltale thud of him landing (on his feet, thankfully) on the floor next to his crib one morning. And Annika is much more nimble and willing to take risks than Callum ever was. We could probably troubleshoot our way around this--Jonna suggested, in a genius manner telling of her own personal experience with this issue, turning our crib around so the high side faces out and putting it in a corner so there's only one short side, and attaching very stiff cardboard to said short side--and if she starts climbing out before we have another bed available for her, we may do that--but I think she has a personality that could handle a big girl bed, so I don't see a reason not to do that instead of trying to thwart her will and keep her in her crib for longer.

So! Unexpectedly, I am thinking about her big girl room. Our plan is, and has been for awhile, to move her into the room that is currently Torsten's office and make that her permanent bedroom. It's bigger than the nursery and offers a lot more options for furniture configuration. That also allows me to start with a clean slate when it comes to decor. Nobody will be surprised to hear that purple will figure heavily--but actually, I am not thinking that we will paint the walls purple. I browsed through a TON of photos of purple rooms online and out of all of them, there were only a couple that hit the sweet spot of a lovely muted pale purple that wasn't overwhelming or excessively childish, and frankly, I don't trust our ability to select a paint color that will give that same feeling. Plus if the walls were purple that would limit my ability to go with purple accessories without creating a bordello feel.

So! I'm thinking light gray walls and then lots of purple accessories--curtains/blinds (conveniently, since we haven't ordered our blinds yet, we can switch one of them from the planned gray to a nice purple), artwork, bedding, rug, even some furniture. Basically a similar concept to Callum's room except a lighter gray on the walls and both light and dark purples instead of blue and orange. I have not been able to find an inspiration photo online that exactly sums up what I'm picturing (though I've started a Pinterest board of photos that have useful elements), but this one comes the closest (as far as color scheme only as it is not at ALL the style I'm envisioning for the room--but it nicely shows off the light gray walls complemented by purple accessories):

One big question we are mulling over is whether to get a bunk bed or not. Annika and Callum have their own rooms and we like it that way and plan to keep it so, but it would be nice if they could share a room if they wanted, or if we needed them to if we had lots of guests (which has happened a couple times), and also it would be convenient for sleepovers when they're older. However, Annika has shown herself to be something of a climber, at least compared to Callum (she's not like Liz's Reagan, though, let's be clear). So, the bunk bed would certainly need to be babyproof, or at least not have a ladder for her to climb up. Right now I'm leaning toward getting a cheap-ish IKEA bed (like this one, the same that Callum has) for now and then switching out to a bunk bed in a few years when she is more rational and less of a menace to herself, or at least getting a bunk bed where you can remove the ladder or potentially hold off on installing the top bunk for awhile. I was looking at the bunk bed that it seems half the internet has, but a) it's out of stock in white and it has to be white to match the furniture we already have, and b) I want the bottom to be a full and I'm dubious about the extension kit this one has to make that happen.

Anyway, we aren't fully decided on this, so please weigh in! Do you have bunk beds for your kids? At what age did you get them? Are there any babyproofing tricks and tips for them? Do you think they're a terrible idea? I want to hear all opinions on this matter, please and thank you.

2014: The fastest year I've ever had

(Previous years: 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007)  

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
Traveled with two children. Went to New Orleans as an adult of legal drinking age. Fed solid food to a child who actually likes to eat. Got an au pair. Finally saw Sarah McLachlan in concert. Took on a more senior management role at work. Cleaned up astronomical amounts of baby vomit.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year I didn't make resolutions, per se, but I did say that I was hoping to maintain the organizational levels that I was achieving on my maternity leave nesting kick, and actually, we were very successful at that, and I've discovered that it makes me feel way better about our lives in general to have an at least partly organized house. This year I want to do some more organizing (nursery and basement closets: I'm looking at you), blog about something real from time to time, get the kids' college funds in order, and take more photos with our real camera.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister, Noemi, and a bunch of beloved Twitter friends.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
None this year. I did, however, take Annika to Phoenix for PJs at TJ's; meet up with my parents in Maine with Torsten and the kids, including a night at Jonna's house in Boston on the way; go to Atlanta and Chicago for girls' weekends; spend a lovely last-minute fall weekend in Aspen with Torsten and the kids; go to DC for work; spend a few days in New Orleans with Torsten, the kids, and our au pair; and visit my parents in North Carolina twice.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
Hm. An international trip? But that's a gimme because it's already in the works.

7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I noticed that Meredith changed this from "dates" to "moments" and I'm going to do that too in future years. So let's see. Seeing Callum and Annika become really-truly friends. Meeting my baby nephew for the first time. The moment our au pair called us in hysterics after being in a car accident (the kids weren't involved and everyone was fine). Watching Annika adjust to her new daycare as though a switch had been flipped in her head, and seeing how happy she is there. Seeing Torsten work so hard on building a fire truck costume for Callum for Halloween. Driving up Pikes Peak with both kids in August and encountering snow at the top. Finding out about Hugo's diagnosis, and finding out about his miraculous, incredible response to treatment.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
After some growing pains, I think we've managed to figure out a daily routine that works well for all of us. I'm feeling like I'm thriving at work and doing pretty well at parenting, most of the time, and Torsten and I are starting to hit our rhythm as a couple with two kids. I feel like we've done a lot of work this year and managed to find some really important balance in our lives.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Getting frustrated with the people I love for being human, and reacting with stress. Not working out enough.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A nice comforter. Good-quality makeup that I can put on in five minutes. A new car that Torsten and I both love. Bikes.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Torsten's, like every year. The transition to two kids was tough on him, even before he changed jobs to a challenging new position, but he did an amazing job dealing with that, finding ways to figure it out, and stay involved and loving and supportive throughout.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Nobody in my personal circle, thankfully.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Same answer for the fourth straight year: our mortgage and childcare.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Watching my kids develop an amazing sibling relationship with each other. Not having any more babies and seeing our life start to stabilize and balance out a bit.

16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
Like everyone else: All About That Bass.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier
b) Thinner
c) About the same - maybe a little richer in the boring ways like retirement accounts and home equity

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Working out.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Being stressed.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We spent the five days leading up to Christmas in New Orleans with the kids and our au pair, which was amazing (and it was great having our au pair with us because we were able to go out for cool New Orleans dinners that were not kid-friendly), and then flew to my parents' house on Christmas Eve and spent Christmas with them. My sister and her family came down the day after Christmas so we had a few days of a delightfully full house.

21. Did you fall in love in 2014?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Downton Abbey. House Hunters.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
Let's see. I really liked Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty and One Plus One by Jojo Moyes.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Like last year: I'm not sure I made any.

26. What did you want and get?
A settled, thriving family of four. Bikes. A work situation that I'm really happy with. Regular date nights.

27. What did you want and not get?
A zen attitude. Bigger muscles.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
We only saw one movie in the theater this year, The Judge, which I liked. Not exactly a favorite film of all time, but it was good.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We went out for lunch at my favorite Indian restaurant, then spent the afternoon walking around Arvada in the sunshine. In the evening Torsten and I went out on our own for dinner at my favorite restaurant. Torsten gave me a beautiful Kate Spade watch and awesome purple earrings. I turned 30.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I'm going to borrow part of last year's answer: Truly, nothing. I'm ending the year with a happy marriage, two healthy kids, and a job that I like. Like I said, there were some growing pains and some tough work as we figured out our new normal as a family of four after I went back to work and Torsten changed jobs, but it was necessary, and productive, and I feel good about having gone through it.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
I tried to wear tops that were nicer than just t-shirts. Also to put on makeup at least some of the time when leaving the house.

32. What kept you sane?
My little family. My group of best friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm bad at this.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Pretty much all of them. Health care is a big one.

35. Who did you miss?
Same answer as the last five years: Most of my friends and family, since pretty much all of them live far away now.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
My nephew.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
How things are right now isn't how they're always going to be, and I have some influence over getting them to where I want them to be.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.

Happy New Year, everybody!

It was a very good year

(Previous years: 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007)  

1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
Had a baby girl. Got a master's degree. Went to Mexico. Gave birth with zero interventions. Organized a girls' weekend. Hosted a baby shower. Attended a concert at Red Rocks. Sent my kid to school.


2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any. I don't think I will this year, either. I am in the middle of purging and organizing our house, though (I'm in serious postpartum nesting mode) and I really hope to maintain the organizational levels once they're achieved.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Me! Also Katie, Liz, and Susie, and my French host sister.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
England and Mexico.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
A nephew!

7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
November 2, the day Annika was born.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I think I managed to be a pretty decent parent to Callum despite the mental and physical exhaustion of work, school, and pregnancy. And I think I'm doing pretty well at parenting two kids, so far.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I was going to say all the times I was too exhausted to really engage with Callum the way he deserves, but you know what? I was pregnant, working full time, and in school. And I have a really fantastic co-parent who picked up the slack for me. So I think my parenting this year falls into the achievement category, where I put it, and I think the failure category has to do with beating myself up too much for normal human behavior. I blamed myself for being lazy and useless when I was really just responding normally to some tough (but worthwhile!) conditions.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
An awful bronchitis-like disease complete with fever, and a nasty stomach bug, but nothing serious.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our new TV. Nice bedding. A raclette.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Torsten's, like every year. In what seems to becoming a theme of this post, I was emotionally wrung out for much of the year, and on top of his own demanding job and everything he was already doing at home, he did so much parenting stuff while I lay on the couch, including the tedious grunt-work, and never complained, and also rubbed my back every day.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Nobody in my personal circle, thankfully.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Same answer for the third straight year: our mortgage and childcare.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Oh, you know, having a baby. Also seeing Callum as a big brother.

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
All That She Wants by Ace of Base.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier
b) Fatter (the baby was worth it, but ugh)
c) Richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Meal planning.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Feeling exhausted and nauseated.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with just the four of us. It was the first year that Callum really got the whole Christmas and Santa concept, and it was really fun planning for him, and so lovely to see his reaction, and also peaceful and low-key not to have anywhere to go.

21. Did you fall in love in 2013?
Yes, with my amazing baby girl.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Downton Abbey.


23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
Eleanor & Park.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I'm not sure I made any.

26. What did you want and get?
A second baby. A master's degree. A promotion. Purple Uggs (thanks, family!).

27. What did you want and not get?
A bike. Endless energy.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
We hardly watched any movies this year, but I liked Lincoln a lot.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I truly cannot remember. OK, I just discovered a blog post where I mentioned it. There was a blizzard, so on my actual birthday we stayed home, and then we went out for a nice dinner the following weekend. I turned 29.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Truly, nothing. I'm ending the year with a happy marriage, two healthy kids, and a job that I like. Possibly the best year ever, you know?

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
Round and empire-waisted.

32. What kept you sane?
My little family.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hm. Uh. Lindy West?

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Pretty much all of them, so I'll go with last year's answer of marriage equality and access to health care.

35. Who did you miss?
Same answer as the last four years: Most of my friends and family, since pretty much all of them live far away now.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Annika, of course, but in the standard sense of "met," Susie. I can't actually believe we hadn't met in person before this year.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
Your best is usually good enough.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I don't think there is one. Oh well.

Happy New Year, everybody!

The year that was

(Previous years: 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007)

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Traveled overseas with a child. Started graduate school. Drove a car with a stick shift (though not very well). Put up a political yard sign. Spent Christmas in Germany. Found non-specialty boots that fit my calves. Attended an internet meet-up. Filed a complaint about an insurance company.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I'm not really a resolution person. I didn't make any last year and I have no plans to change that for this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend Emily. A friend from our childbirth class, whose first baby is a week younger than Callum, just had her second. A lovely coworker. Lots of internet people.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Germany, France, and England.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
A master's degree.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
No specific dates. Some specific events, but not their exact dates.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Last year I put achieving balance here and I'm going to stick with that. Work, school, marriage, and a toddler is a lot, but I think I succeeded at it pretty well. And actually achieved some meal planning (though not consistently) in the process.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not always trusting myself. It's scary having a toddler. The parenting feels much more fraught than with an infant where you just follow your instincts and meet basic needs. I constantly worry that I'm doing it wrong, and feel guilty about all the potential ways that I could mess my kid up.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Some colds and a stomach bug, but nothing major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our new siding. It's so NICE not having to worry that the exterior of our house will blow away every time there's a gust of wind.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Borrowing last year's answer: Torsten's, as usual. Seeing him with Callum just reinforces how great he is, every single day.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Gosh, so many to choose from this year, yes? But nobody I know personally, so that's a plus.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Again, last year's answer: our mortgage and childcare.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Watching Callum turn from a baby into a walking, talking, opinionated, adorable, amazing little person.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
I'm going to have to go with the crowd on this one and say Call Me Maybe.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) The same
b) Thinner (the baby weight is FINALLY gone, plus some extra on top of that)
c) Richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Working out.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stressing about parenting. I know that I'm doing pretty well and that I don't have to be perfect, but I'd love to banish the niggling feelings that appear in the back of my mind from time to time that try to say otherwise.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We were in Germany at my in-laws' house. It was very different (no stockings, no Christmas morning) and very low-key, but lovely.

21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Not with anyone new.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Grey's Anatomy.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
Hm. I loved The Fault in Our Stars, and the other John Green books that I've been making my way through since then.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Peter Bjorn and John. I looove their song "Second Chance."

26. What did you want and get?
A happy, healthy toddler. New siding for our house. Central air.

27. What did you want and not get?
A new TV. Curtains for our bedroom. A bike.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I saw very few movies this year, so I'm going to have to go with the only one I actually remember seeing: The Hunger Games.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I, um, can't actually remember. It was a Friday. We must have gone out for dinner, but I don't remember where. I turned 28.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I really can't think of anything. As I've said for the last three years, it was a great year exactly as it was.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Basic. Jeans figured heavily. Every now and then I even thought to put on earrings.

32. What kept you sane?
Same answer as last year: my husband and baby.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Joe Biden.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gosh, so many. I'll go with marriage equality and access to health care.

35. Who did you miss?
I'm going to steal my answer from the last three years here: Most of my friends and family, since pretty much all of them live far away now.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Liz. Hands down.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
Perfection is overrated. Things can be (and are!) pretty great even if there are a million little flaws that you'd really like to fix if you could.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I'm pretty sure 2010 will stand alone as the only time I ever managed to do this successfully. Not even going to try this year.

Happy belated New Year, everybody!

Recent reads

Every now and then I start to feel like I've really been reading a lot of great stuff on the Internet recently. Now is one of those times, so, here are a few things that I especially liked reading and thought you might enjoy too.

Rich, from Swistle, on religion + money (this reminded me a little of one of my very favorite Stephen Colbert clips of all time--the absolute best part starts at 3:55 but the whole thing is great).

Polite Conversation, from Liz, one of my very favorite people (and real-life friend), on publicly discussing her miscarriage.

I Believe In Pink, by Hillary Savoie, about her daughter's as-yet-undiagnosed syndrome (the whole blog is amazing; I had a really hard time picking just one post).

Science Friday: Aspartame, by Susie, everyone's favorite toxicologist (this one is a couple months old but I'm still sending the link to people, so it seems like it really belongs here).

On working in a do-good field, by Nomad Soul, a reaction to the New York Times piece about career passions.

Enjoy! And happy Friday!

The loveliness

I've met millions of people from the Internet, but I've never been to any sort of Bloggy Gathering before. BlogHer is too... official for me. The Blathering is more my speed, but I've never been able to make it there (and I still regret not getting there the first year, when it was a little more intimate, which is totally up my alley).

So when Kelly decided to host PJs@TJ's, I was determined that this time I was going to make it happen. Add to that the fact that I have an aunt and uncle in Arizona who haven't met Callum yet, and I realllllly wanted to go. It took some planning and finagling (and one meltdown to Noemi via gchat), but I actually ended up going.

A lot of the other attendees had babies, but most left the kids at home. There were just two other babies in attendance: Penny, of course, and then Erin's Lorelai. Penny and Lorelai were just SO PRECIOUS, you guys. I mean seriously, the CUTENESS overload of those babies together was just too much. Sadly, we did not get any photos of the three babies together (it seemed like one of them was always asleep), and in fact now that I think about it, even though Erin and I shared a rental car and Callum and Lorelai rode around side by side all weekend, we didn't get a picture of the two of them together at all.

I did, however, get photos of Callum and Penny together. They were even wearing coordinated pajamas, which was a total accident. And they're not the highest quality photos because they were taken with the iPhone. But oh, the cuteness:

I mean, can you even deal? LOOK AT THEM TOGETHER. It's an Internet Baby meetup! I DIE.

Everyone who attended was just so, so lovely. The vibe was so relaxed and we all just hung out and chatted and ate and cooed over babies. With so many moms and only three babies, it was like having 18 adoring aunties in the room. When we got there on Friday night, I set Callum down on the floor and he stood up and started to walk and I swear to god the entire room SHRIEKED. It was like "Oh my god look! He's walking! HE'S WALKING!" Everyone was SO into it, you'd think they'd known him his whole life instead of having met him five minutes prior. (Though I guess some of them have been reading my blog since before he was born, so it might FEEL like they've known him their whole lives.)

Anyway, everyone was just fantastic. I was especially looking forward to meeting the people I'd been reading or following for awhile (Kelly, Noemi, Diane, Erin, Laura, Lara) and they did not disappoint. Every last one of them was exactly like I would have expected based on their blogs, except MORE awesome. And all the people that I hadn't been following for long, some of whom I never would have discovered if it hadn't been for this weekend, were fabulous as well. The whole weekend was just exactly what I was hoping for, and then some.

Here's Callum bonding with Noemi:



And with Diane:



And then I pretty much stopped taking pictures, because I had more important business to attend to. Like stuffing my face with an ice cream sundae. Yum.

Oh, and Phil was lovely too. And I just can't get over how accommodating he and Kelly and Penny were. There was a bed in the living room! Like, a full size bed with a frame! For the pajama party! And approximately eight women crammed themselves on it to chat and play with babies! And it was lovely! And Callum napped on Penny's floor bed! And everyone was just so relaxed and flexible and it all worked out so beautifully. Even traveling solo with a baby was fine. Callum conked out for half the flight there and the entire flight back, and was happy and easy when he was awake. I got tons of compliments from strangers on his fantastic in-flight behavior. Those compliments are easier to accumulate when your baby looks like this for most of the flight:



It was also great to see my aunt and uncle on Sunday. We spent a lovely day together in Tempe (such a nice town!) and Callum showed off his new walking skills. And now he's met all my aunts and uncles. This makes me happy.

And seriously, with the walking. He honed his skills so much this weekend. People were commenting on how much of a difference they saw just from Friday to Saturday. Look at this:



And, OK, while we're sharing videos, here's one of Callum and Penny hanging out. And by "hanging out" I mean "first one of them cries, then the other." Oh, babies.



So, in sum: Internet Ladies are awesome and I can only hope and pray that Kelly decides to host this shindig again next year. Because I miss everyone already.