tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21199968451829587802024-03-27T17:53:35.082-06:00Du Wax Loolu...she said what?Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.comBlogger1074125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-68682999661298312082018-12-31T16:23:00.001-07:002019-01-02T12:04:35.923-07:002018: The year of baby steps<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13px;">(Previous years: <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2017/12/2017-were-still-standing-so-far.html">2017</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2016/12/2016-good-for-me-personally-terrible.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration-line: none;">2016</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-year-of-personal-growth.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration-line: none;">2015</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/01/2014-fastest-year-ive-ever-had.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration-line: none;">2014</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2013/12/it-was-very-good-year.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration-line: none;">2013</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-year-that-was.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration-line: none;">2012</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2011/12/time-to-sum-it-all-up-again.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration-line: none;">2011</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-favorite-blogging-tradition.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration-line: none;">2010</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2009/12/year-in-review.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration-line: none;">2009</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2008/12/end-of-year-again.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration-line: none;">2008</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2007/12/year-end-summary.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration-line: none;">2007</a>) <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><br />
<b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Sent both my kids on an unaccompanied flight (transatlantic, no less). Got super involved in public school politics and advocacy. Got an IUD stuck (!) and had to have a camera-guided procedure to get it out. Had my basement flood (twice!). Started down the path of managing ADHD in my kiddos. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Started a real, habitual, extensive skincare routine (and stuck with it). </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Helped my child participate in feeding therapy. Took a solo trip to Hawaii (mostly for work, but still). Read 214 books. Have my kid figure out the truth about Santa et al., and then help participate in creating the magic for his sister. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Last year I said, "I'd like to make some progress toward financial recovery from quite a few large unexpected expenses that we incurred this year, and I'd like to be more on top of keeping my photos organized." We did make some financial progress, but not as much as I'd liked, and I did get some of my photos organized, but not nearly all of them, so overall I'd say this was kind of a wash. For next year I'd like to stick to a more detailed budget as a family, and get some of the messy spaces in our house organized.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">3. Did anyone close to you give birth?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">A very good friend from college.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">4. Did anyone close to you die?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />5. What countries did you visit?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Mexico. Domestically, I went to Washington DC, Baltimore, Oahu, Maine, Durham (NC), and Charleston (SC).</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">A president I trust. More financial organization. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">7. What moments from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Some moments related to figuring out kid mental health and support type stuff, some moments related to seeing our country take atrocious actions against vulnerable populations (oh hey I just noticed I said something very similar last year, how charming), Montana getting clear scans at her oncology follow-ups, some decisions I made for myself around my own health stuff, our absolutely incredible family trip to Maine and how FUN and relaxing it was (first time our kids have been old enough for us to really feel that way about a family vacation), my friends continuing to show up, over and over, in real, meaningful, complicated, loving ways.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">To my own surprise, my answer here is parenting-related for the second year in a row. Both our kids needed a lot from us this year as we tried to figure out their ADHD and associated challenges and support them in a balanced way. It was really tricky and demanded a lot from us in terms of both emotional as well as tangible resources, and certainly we don't have the whole thing perfected yet, but I do feel like I came through for my whole family on mental health and support this year, and we are all thriving, and I feel really good about that.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">9. What was your biggest failure?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">A fair bit of unnecessary guilt and self-blame. I was going to say that I should have implemented more financial organization measures sooner, but seeing the first point, I'm going to try to let go of that idea and just be glad we're in a good place now.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">10. Did you suffer illness or injury?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Nothing major (and nobody was hospitalized this year!), but it was definitely a year of working on family mental health stuff, which was both time-consuming and pricey.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">11. What was the best thing you bought?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Plane tickets. Do health care services count as a purchase? A couple pieces of art from some of our favorite places that we really treasure every time we look at them.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">12. Whose behavior merited celebration?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I'm stealing last year's answer, because apparently last year I was feeling very articulate. On a micro level: Torsten's, like every year. He has done a ton of hard work and our whole family is benefitting. On a macro level: All the people who've stepped up to counter the appalling words and actions of our government by helping each other, supporting each other, protesting, donating, voting, and resisting.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">My answer from the last two years still stands: People who are irrationally and unconsciously (or consciously, for that matter) motivated by white identity and perceived threat to their desired world order. This year I'll put a finer point on it: All the people who've seen Trump do every horrible thing we expected and then some, and continue to support him.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">14. Where did most of your money go?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Same answer for the seventh straight year: our mortgage and childcare, and I will keep last year's addition of health care.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Our family. The work we did to make sure everyone's needs are met and they are thriving. Democrats taking over the house, and the door-knocking I did to unseat a Republican Congressman in a nearby district seeing results.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />16. What song will always remind you of 2018?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">No Tears Left to Cry by Ariana Grande</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /><b>17. Compared to this time last year, are you:</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">a) happier or sadder?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">b) thinner or fatter?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">c) richer or poorer?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">a) About the same</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">b) Thinner</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">c) Poorer</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">18. What do you wish you’d done more of?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I'm gonna repeat last year's answer: Sleeping. Working out. Volunteering.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">19. What do you wish you’d done less of?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Driving? Somehow there was so much driving. Going to Target and generally running tiny errands all the time. Possibly these two items are related.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">20. How did you spend Christmas?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Visiting my parents in North Carolina, followed by Torsten and me going to Charleston by ourselves for a few days while our kids stayed with my parents.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /><b>21. Did you fall in love in 2018?</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />22. What was your favorite TV program? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I basically did not watch TV this year because I spent so much time reading, so I really don't know. I do have a long list of shows I'd like to check out in 2019, though.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Borrowing last year's answer: I'd say my hatred for evil, self-interested members of government has sharpened, if that counts.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">24. What was the best book you read?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">Real American by Julie Lythcott-Haims.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><br style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">25. What was your greatest musical discovery?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">26. What did you want and get?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">A happy family with a solid, comfortable life routine. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />27. What did you want and not get?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Like last year: A government that believes in the republic and cares about the people it represents (or any people, for that matter).</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /><b>28. What was your favorite film of this year?</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Incredibles 2</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /><b>29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">It was a low-key day... we just went out for a casual dinner as a family, and it was lovely. I turned 34.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /><b>30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">A trustworthy government. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">This year I discovered shorts. They're amazing! Did you know? They're comfortable and they keep your legs so nice and cool. Why didn't someone tell me about these magical things earlier? Also, hoodies featured heavily this year.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">32. What kept you sane?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Same as the last four years: My little family. My group of best friends.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I'm bad at this.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">34. What political issue stirred you the most?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">Immigration, income inequality, class warfare, general corruption?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13px;" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">35. Who did you miss?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Similar answer to the past nine years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">36. Who was the best new person you met?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">We met some great people this year, but in particular Callum made a close friend on his new soccer team, and his family is lovely as well, and they've been a great addition to our lives.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13px;" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Feeling that the current circumstances are uniquely horrible is a privileged perspective, as this country has been treating vulnerable people like shit for centuries. Still, it's better to become woke late than never, and we can all do what we can to resist, even if it's not 100% of our effort 100% of the time.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Happy New Year, everybody!</span>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-52662918908447110202017-12-31T15:12:00.001-07:002017-12-31T15:13:39.813-07:002017: We're still standing, so far.<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13px;">(Previous years: <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2016/12/2016-good-for-me-personally-terrible.html">2016</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-year-of-personal-growth.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2015</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/01/2014-fastest-year-ive-ever-had.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2014</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2013/12/it-was-very-good-year.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2013</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-year-that-was.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2012</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2011/12/time-to-sum-it-all-up-again.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2011</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-favorite-blogging-tradition.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2010</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2009/12/year-in-review.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2009</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2008/12/end-of-year-again.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2008</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2007/12/year-end-summary.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2007</a>) <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><br />
<b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><br /></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Had a child <a href="https://twitter.com/duwaxloolu/status/890067368571019265">hospitalized in a foreign country</a>. Took my kids to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BdTDBqyBhCe/?taken-by=duwaxloolu">get pedicures</a>. Lived under a wannabe autocrat. Took my kids to Paris. Treated (including paying for) my dog for <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BcIF3AghMvi/?taken-by=duwaxloolu">cancer</a>. Read 200 books. Had a child <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BS_vLcaB0-c/?taken-by=duwaxloolu">get stitches</a>. Went to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BSW3rvQhCp5/?taken-by=duwaxloolu">Puerto Vallarta</a>, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BWgDw9eB_Vb/?taken-by=duwaxloolu">Belgium</a>, and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BWimus6h-8Q/?taken-by=duwaxloolu">the Netherlands</a>. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Had my kid's preschool shut down with no notice and make off with our money. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Taught </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BVNC_3cB2j9/?taken-by=duwaxloolu" style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">both</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"> </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BY7BW6cB5OY/?taken-by=duwaxloolu" style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">kids</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"> to ride a bike without training wheels. Hit my goal weight. Called my Senator's office more times than I can count. Sent my kid to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BXtFNLmhgwE/?taken-by=duwaxloolu">overnight camp</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I was pretty general last year, and just said "</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I want to keep a good thing going with our routine, and do some travel." We did both of those things--I feel like our routine has really hit a groove and things are going very well as a family unit. And we did a whole bunch of travel. I'll call that a win. For next year, hm. I'd like to make some progress toward financial recovery from quite a few large unexpected expenses that we incurred this year, and I'd like to be more on top of keeping my photos organized.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">3. Did anyone close to you give birth?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">One of my best friends from college.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">4. Did anyone close to you die?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />5. What countries did you visit?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Mexico, Germany, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands. Domestically, I visited Phoenix, Chicago, Virginia Beach, Durham (NC), Jacksonville, San Diego, Washington DC, and New Orleans.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;">A president who believes in the Constitution and cares about anyone other than himself.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">7. What moments from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Most of the actual moments are negative (health-related), but the year itself was actually pretty good for us as a family. As far as specific moments: Getting a phone call from Annika's preschool that she had fallen and hit her head and the ambulance was on its way (she was fine, she just needed stitches, but they didn't do a great job conveying that). Callum being hospitalized in Germany and the doctor lecturing us that if we took him home on oxygen, we would be risking his life. Getting Montana's cancer diagnosis and having to tell Torsten about it, and watching him completely fall apart in response. More generally: Watching Torsten continue to step up to be there for our family and make sure all of us are in a good place. Taking an incredible family road trip where we drove more than 2,000 miles across Europe and the kids were absolute champs and it was an amazing family bonding experience. Watching our government take one atrocious action after another to harm vulnerable populations. Seeing how people and friends step up for each other and support each other in the face of terrible hardship.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I am far from a perfect parent, but I overall feel like my parenting this year was a win. I really managed to build on the work I did last year to be calmer, more intentional, and less yelling-prone. I've guided both my kids through some challenging shit, including some tough emotional stuff, and I really feel like I've succeeded at being there for them and supporting them. I also think we've managed to keep encouraging kindness and consideration and caring for others, which is especially important to us in the current political climate. There is a lot I could still improve, but I feel good about how far I've come.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">9. What was your biggest failure?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;">This is a small thing, but I stopped keeping my five-year diary a few months ago, and I'm bummed about that and want to pick it back up. It was really good for me to take those couple minutes each night to process through what happened that day, and I'd like to get back to that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">10. Did you suffer illness or injury?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;">I personally did not experience anything major, but it has been a tough (and expensive) medical year for the rest of the family. Callum was hospitalized for asthma, Annika got stitches in her forehead, Montana had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor and is now doing chemo, and Torsten had dental implants and an ER visit along with a couple ongoing chronic issues. Here's hoping for a healthier 2018 for all of us. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">11. What was the best thing you bought?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;">Plane tickets for the incredible travel we were able to do this year. Good health insurance. A couch, rug, and coffee table for our living room.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">12. Whose behavior merited celebration?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">On a micro level: Torsten's, like every year. He has done a ton of hard work and our whole family is benefitting. On a macro level: All the people who've stepped up to counter the appalling words and actions of our government by helping each other, supporting each other, protesting, donating, voting, and resisting.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">My answer from last year still stands: People who are irrationally and unconsciously (or consciously, for that matter) motivated by white identity and perceived threat to their desired world order. This year I'll put a finer point on it: All the people who've seen Trump do every horrible thing we expected and then some, and continue to support him.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">14. Where did most of your money go?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Same answer for the sixth straight year: our mortgage and childcare. This year I'll add health and dental expenses, both human and canine.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Our family. The November and December elections and the hope that the current administration might actually not last forever, and that we may eventually be able to reverse some of their terrible policies. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />16. What song will always remind you of 2017?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I don't think there is one this year. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /><b>17. Compared to this time last year, are you:</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">a) happier or sadder?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">b) thinner or fatter?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">c) richer or poorer?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">a) About the same</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">b) Thinner</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">c) Poorer</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">18. What do you wish you’d done more of?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I'm gonna repeat last year's answer: Sleeping. Working out. Volunteering.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">19. What do you wish you’d done less of?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;">Reading books written by men, specifically white men.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">20. How did you spend Christmas?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">My parents came to stay with us. Torsten and I left the kids with them for a few days while we went to New Orleans. We came back the day before Christmas Eve and had a laid-back Christmas with the six of us at home. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /><b>21. Did you fall in love in 2017?</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />22. What was your favorite TV program?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;">I watched very little TV this year, as I was very reading-focused. We did start watching Madam Secretary, which I like.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;">I'd say my hatred for evil, self-interested members of government has sharpened, if that counts.</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />24. What was the best book you read?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hate-U-Give-Angie-Thomas-ebook/dp/B01M0614T9/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1514757657&sr=8-1&keywords=the+hate+u+give">The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">25. What was your greatest musical discovery?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">26. What did you want and get?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">A happy family with a solid, comfortable life routine. A lot of travel. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />27. What did you want and not get?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">A government that believes in the republic and cares about the people it represents (or any people, for that matter).</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /><b>28. What was your favorite film of this year?</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Coco.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /><b>29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">It was low-key but pleasant. My parents were in town and I worked, then did errands to prepare for our trip to Mexico. We went out for dinner at my favorite restaurant and ate cake. I turned 33.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">A healthier family. A trustworthy government. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Dresses in the summer and skinny jeans with sweaters in winter. Rothys and boots and flip flops.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; widows: 2;" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">32. What kept you sane?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Same as the last three years: My little family. My group of best friends.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I'm bad at this.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">34. What political issue stirred you the most?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Last year's answer still applies. I wrapped it up by saying that I was extremely concerned that 2017 was going to be significantly worse than 2016, and that's exactly what happened. Right now my concern is largely around the most vulnerable people in this country, specifically immigrants, women, people of color, and people living in poverty. The class warfare and xenophobia happening right now are beyond comprehension, and I can only pray that the backlash is immediate and fierce. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">35. Who did you miss?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Similar answer to the past eight years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">36. Who was the best new person you met?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Hm. I don't think I made new friends this year. I'd say the best person is the director of Callum's soccer training program, who really understands him and has done incredible things for him (related to character development way more than soccer skills). </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Hope is a form of resistance. It is our job to help each other, and we can do that even in the worst of circumstances, and even if it's just in small ways, it makes a big difference. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Happy New Year, everybody!</span>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-82663247444233456832016-12-30T14:59:00.000-07:002016-12-30T15:09:42.721-07:002016: Good for me personally, terrible for... everyone else. And also the world. Which includes me, unfortunately. So... not an unmitigated success.<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13px;">(Previous years: <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-year-of-personal-growth.html">2015</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/01/2014-fastest-year-ive-ever-had.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2014</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2013/12/it-was-very-good-year.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2013</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-year-that-was.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2012</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2011/12/time-to-sum-it-all-up-again.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2011</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-favorite-blogging-tradition.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2010</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2009/12/year-in-review.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2009</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2008/12/end-of-year-again.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2008</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2007/12/year-end-summary.html" style="color: #706080; text-decoration: none;">2007</a>) <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><br />
<b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Sent my kid on a plane trip by himself. Took six work trips. Visited <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BGhodrUytpm/">Michigan</a>. Had <a href="https://twitter.com/duwaxloolu/status/770403051643351041">a child hospitalized</a>. Drove <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BDebqSsStqb/">the 101</a>. Helped my child learn to read. <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BOIjtbtgASM">Dissected a squid</a>. Went to therapy, and dumped a therapist. Bought my kids <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BOcZjxMA9T7/">matching outfits</a>. Filed a homeowners' insurance claim (due to a hailstorm). Wore a <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BCwjPCgytuK">bright lip color</a>. <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2016/03/my-first-caucus.html">Caucused</a>. Voted (<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BMcPfdogep-/">and volunteered for</a>) a woman for president. Sobbed over the results of a presidential election. Feared for our democracy.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Last year I said that I wanted to "buy a smaller 'real' camera that isn't quite so unwieldy and will be easier to carry around with us and grab to shoot with, so hopefully the photo thing will improve, and I want to keep blogging at least as much as I blogged from May through October of this year. We are going to try to potty train Annika. And I want to work with Torsten to find a balance that works for us now that we've hit a routine... the kids are getting older, there are no more babies in the house, we have school and daycare more or less figured out, work is reasonably stable... so now is the time to figure out some stuff about how our family life works best and how we can establish a division of labor and routine that make us both feel supported and not overwhelmed."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">So, let's break those down:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">1) We did not buy a real camera, so the photo thing didn't really improve, but Torsten did get an iPhone 7 Plus with the dual lens camera, and that has helped.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">2) I blogged four times this year and not at all since May. So. No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">3) Annika did successfully potty train. Win.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">4) The work-life balance for both of us was the big one, and I feel really good about it. We did a shit ton of really hard work, and it has paid off. We're in a really good spot with our routine and our relationship.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I am not sure about next year. Mostly I want to keep a good thing going with our routine, and do some travel.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">3. Did anyone close to you give birth?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://twitter.com/snoozical">Susie</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/mirielmargaret">Miriel</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/arwenelizabeth">Arwen</a>, <a href="http://www.100degreesconsulting.com/blog">Stephanie</a>, and a work colleague/friend.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">4. Did anyone close to you die?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />5. What countries did you visit?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I didn't leave the country this year, but I did a lot of domestic travel: to Albuquerque, Michigan, and the Bay Area with/to see friends; to the Pacific Coast, Maine (with bonus Boston visit including time with <a href="http://twitter.com/jonniker">Jonna</a>), North Carolina, and Charleston with family; and to Jacksonville, Chicago, San Diego, Seattle, Memphis, Baltimore, and DC for work.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Hope for our country's future. OK, this isn't a fair answer because I had a LOT of hope for our country's future for about 10 months of this year, and now I have very little. An endless travel budget.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">7. What moments from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Seeing Torsten put in incredible amounts of work to get our family routine to where it needed to be, and the culmination of that with him accepting a new job with a solid work-life balance a couple months ago. Realizing Trump was going to win Wisconsin and thus the election and sobbing hysterically, and then having to tell the kids about it the next morning. Watching my kids' relationship with each other grow and deepen, and seeing how kind and thoughtful they are both turning out to be. Leaning on my friends hard when I needed to, and having them lean on me.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Continuing on my response from last year, I learned to channel my accommodating/fix-it impulses into speaking up and making things better for everyone, including myself, instead of trying to take on full responsibility for burdens that are typically shared. I invested everything I had to give into my marriage and my family and got incredible results. I unpacked some shit that was depleting my emotional resources and became a much better, and less yelling-prone, parent as a result.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">9. What was your biggest failure?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Failing to anticipate and emotionally prepare for the election result.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">10. Did you suffer illness or injury?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Nothing major, but this has been a BAD fall and early winter for stomach bugs, and it would be awesome if that could end any time now. Also, I got laryngitis this year for the first time ever, and that was deeply unpleasant.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">11. What was the best thing you bought?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">A meal service that provides us with pre-cooked, nutritious meals three days per week so the cooking burden is lessened. New chairs for our living room and a table for our patio. Therapy.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">12. Whose behavior merited celebration?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Torsten's, like every year. I said up above that I invested everything I had into our family, but so did he, and I'd say he had the harder work to do. He stepped up like a champ and I am so grateful and proud.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">People who are irrationally and unconsciously (or consciously, for that matter) motivated by white identity and perceived threat to their desired world order.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">14. Where did most of your money go?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Same answer for the sixth straight year: our mortgage and childcare.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Our family. Torsten's new job. The prospect of Hillary Clinton as president.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />16. What song will always remind you of 2016?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />17. Compared to this time last year, are you:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">a) happier or sadder?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">b) thinner or fatter?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">c) richer or poorer?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">a) Happier</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">b) Thinner</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">c) About the same</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">18. What do you wish you’d done more of?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Sleeping. Working out. Volunteering.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">19. What do you wish you’d done less of?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Assuming that racism and myopic white men were no longer in charge of the world.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">20. How did you spend Christmas?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">We came to visit my parents in North Carolina (where we still are). First we left the kids with my parents for a few days and Torsten and I drove down to Charleston, which was delightful. We came back up on Christmas Eve and had a nice peaceful Christmas with my parents and some family friends. My sister and her brood came down the next day and we repeated the whole shebang with significantly more chaos and cousin love.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />21. Did you fall in love in 2016?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />22. What was your favorite TV program?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Gilmore Girls. Parenthood. I'm really with the times, I know.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />24. What was the best book you read?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">I'd say <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00N6PCZO0/ref=dp-kindle-redirect">A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara</a>, with runner-up credit to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Homegoing-novel-Yaa-Gyasi/dp/1101947136">Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi</a>.</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">25. What was your greatest musical discovery?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">26. What did you want and get?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">A happy family with a solid, comfortable life routine. A lot of travel. A lovely tenth anniversary gift from Torsten.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />27. What did you want and not get?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Hillary Clinton as PEOTUS.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />28. What was your favorite film of this year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I think we only saw one movie in the theater this year, Finding Dory, which I liked but didn't love.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">My parents were supposed to fly in that day but we had a massive unexpected blizzard and their flight got cancelled. I woke up early in the morning to their phone call about it, then spent the next couple hours hashing out an alternate travel plan for them. We were housebound all day due to the snow, so we couldn't pick up my birthday cake and had to cancel our dinner plans, and had to try to work all day while our kids were home with a snow day and no childcare. Basically the day was pretty unpleasant and I called it a do-over and celebrated properly a couple days later once the roads were clear and my parents got to town. Torsten did give me a gorgeous necklace as a gift, which salvaged things pretty well. I turned 32.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">In my own little personal life, honestly, nothing. On a broader level, more enlightened voters and people who are interested in things like data and objective facts, and a different election outcome.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Dresses in the summer and skinny jeans with sweaters in winter. Necklaces and earrings almost every day.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">32. What kept you sane?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Same as the last two years: My little family. My group of best friends.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I'm bad at this.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">34. What political issue stirred you the most?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">I don't even know what to say about this that I haven't already said. In addition to the horrifying racism, self-centeredness, and myopia of way too many voters in this country, I'm pretty appalled not just by the hostile foreign state that interfered with our election, but also by the number of people who don't seem to care or even seem to welcome it because it helped achieve the outcome they wanted. I'm extremely concerned about NATO, Syria, and foreign policy in general, as well as about things like basic civil rights and freedoms domestically. In sum, pretty much everything about politics stirred me deeply this year and while 2016 was a terrible year for many people, I'm extremely concerned that 2017 is going to be significantly worse.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">35. Who did you miss?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Similar answer to the past seven years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away. Particular shoutout to my delightful local bestie who then moved to Singapore, since she became a new addition to the list of friends I am always missing.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">36. Who was the best new person you met?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Some moms of Callum's kindergarten classmates who've become good personal friends of mine.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Misinformation is dangerous. Don't underestimate the power of denied feelings. (I really believe this election outcome was due to white men having lots of FEELINGS that they don't understand about no longer being the only demographic group with a seat at the table, and that's confusing for them because men don't have feelings because aren't feelings those inferior things that women keep having that hold them back, along with their periods? I don't know what's happening but it doesn't feel good and I'm pretty sure I should express those unpleasant feelings by voting for the guy in the preposterous hat who says the insane things that make me FEEL good even though I don't have feelings so I'm going to point to a lot of fake claims with no supporting data to justify my vote because it's not possible that I'm voting based on FEELINGS that I don't actually believe I have.) Do the best you can and stay your course and try to help people even when everything feels overwhelmingly daunting.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px;">Happy New Year, everybody! Fingers crossed our system of government is still intact at the end of it.</span>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-45552234546278343262016-05-26T13:49:00.000-06:002016-05-26T13:50:51.448-06:00Lap-band: Maintenance modeToday I got my first lap-band fill in what turns out to be two years. I knew it had been awhile since the last one, but I would have guessed one year, not two. OOPSIE.<br />
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(Super quick background on the lap-band, since I don't talk about it much: it's a plastic ring that goes around your stomach and has little pouches that are filled with saline through a port, slowly, over time. Filling the pouches increases the tightness of the ring around the stomach, increasing food restriction and making it easier to lose weight. This is done slowly after initial surgery over the course of a few months. In each of my pregnancies I had my lap-band emptied in order to reduce morning sickness and allow for consumption of sufficient nutrients, and then had it filled up again over the course of a few months post-partum. So, I had had it refilled after Annika was born, but then let it go two years without any further fills. In general, even once it's full, it still needs to be topped off every now and then due to fluid shifting and evaporating and the restriction loosening over time.)<br />
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Anyway! So, over the last two years I've lost the rest of the baby weight, about 30 pounds, which took me down to my pre-Callum weight, which was about 85 pounds below my pre-surgery weight. So, technically in the seven years since my surgery my weight is down 85 pounds, BUT an added wrinkle of the lap-band is that of course when you reduce your caloric intake by that degree, your metabolism also slows down (see also: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.html">this interesting NYT article on that topic</a>), so when the band was emptied for my pregnancies, of course I gained a bunch of weight, and not just pregnancy weight, and ended up gaining 40-50 pounds per pregnancy. FUN TIMES. What that MEANS is that over the past seven years, I have actually LOST something like 175 pounds, BUT I also GAINED 90 pounds during that time, DAMMIT BABIES.<br />
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Anyway! Here I am now, and the lovely thing is that I HAVE lost the baby weight, TWICE, PLUS kept off the weight loss that I achieved in the first year post-surgery, before I got pregnant with Callum. So now, here I am, seven years later, finally in maintenance mode. Which doesn't mean weight maintenance mode, as I do want to continue to lose weight, but rather band maintenance mode. With the pregnancies and refilling and so forth over the past seven years, I've been in and out of my surgeon's office quite a lot with various fills and un-fills, and I will also say that it's kind of a mind trip to have your band un-filled for pregnancy because your nutritional needs shift and it turns out that postpartum isn't necessarily the most mentally stable, well rested and relaxing time to focus on your own nutritional needs. Meaning, while of course I'm always aware of my band and the accompanied restrictions (no bread, very few grains in general, no soda/carbonation, eat slowly, etc.), it hasn't really been top of mind for the last few years.<br />
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That has actually been GREAT. A huge reason why I wanted the band in the first place was because I wanted my weight to stop being such a THING in my mind all the time. I felt like I spent so much TIME thinking about my weight and my diet, and how much I weighed, and if I was losing weight, how to maintain that, and if I was gaining it back, how to stop it, and what I should and shouldn't eat. That sucked, frankly as much or more than the actual fact of being overweight, you know? Just the mental space devoted to it was so exhausting, and I really didn't want to spend the rest of my life that way. And that was a huge motivator to get the band, and that has been a huge success. Eating is no longer the Thing that it was, and I focus on nutrition and taste and have been able to almost fully remove any moral values from my opinions of food, and that's been so delightfully freeing. The band hasn't taken over my life, and that's been wonderful.<br />
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But it also means that I don't always think about how I could be using the band as the best possible tool for weight loss, and sometimes forget that I have it available to me, if that makes sense. So like, the 30 pounds that I've lost since my last fill two years ago were hard-fought, and slow, and I didn't even REALIZE that I could have gone in for another fill that would have made the whole process way easier and simpler. Like, it just did not cross my mind. I did occasionally think, "Oh, I should probably get another fill at some point" but there was always a conflict, a trip or a work meeting or something where I needed to be able to eat pretty normally (the first week or so after a fill, I have to be super cautious about eating) and so I'd figure I'd do it later, and then somehow... yeah, it's been two years.<br />
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But here I am now, I'm 85 pounds down from where I was seven years ago and that's a great place to be, and I have no further pregnancy plans and also no infants and can focus on my own stuff a little bit, as needed, and I have a fresh new fill and I feel good, and I hope it does help me lose a few more pounds without quite the Herculean effort that the last 30 pounds have required (the doc today was like, "I can't believe you lost 30 pounds with basically no restriction"), but the nice thing is, I don't feel like I have to have a renewed focus on weight loss or anything like that. More like, now I feel like I have the mental space to fit my band back into my life without it taking over, and I'm glad about that. And trying to feel proud of having lost those last 30 pounds without much help from the band, instead of dumb for letting so much time go by without taking advantage of it. Glass half-full, I guess.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-6677339774654091782016-03-11T11:08:00.001-07:002016-03-14T10:35:46.955-06:00My first caucusOn Super Tuesday, 1.5 weeks ago, I attended my first-ever caucus. We <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2009/02/home-sweet-home-for-real.html">moved to Colorado in 2009</a>, one year after the last Democratic presidential primary. Colorado does closed caucuses (only registered members of the party can participate) and in non-presidential election years, I've always received a paper ballot in the mail for the primary, so this was my first-ever opportunity to participate.<br />
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A side note about caucuses and voting in general: I actually don't love the caucus concept as a political process, because I find the barrier to entry to be prohibitively high. It takes a lot longer than voting, first of all, and while you CAN bring kids with you, it did not appear to be a very pleasant experience to do so, which means that single parents or couples who both want to vote would need to either wrangle their kids in a hot, crowded, boring, slow-moving caucus for a couple hours or pay for childcare or... you know, not attend. Also, because everyone has to show up at once, the parking situation is completely insane. And, the whole speeches for candidates, everyone band together on various sides of the room and try to convince the uncommitted people to come to their side thing is just... I don't know, it seems like there's a lot of room for blurring lines, is all. The argument I keep hearing in favor of caucuses is that it means only the people who truly care and are involved in the political process make the decisions, which sounds nice until you think about it more and it starts to sound more like an argument to keep affluent white people in charge.<br />
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On the plus side, when we AREN'T having caucuses, Colorado does vote by mail, which is AMAZING... the ballot shows up a few weeks before the election, you fill it out, you put a stamp on it, you send it back, you're done. No waiting in line, no having to get time off work to go vote, no having to find a polling place. It's GREAT.<br />
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Anyway, back to my caucus experience. I personally did not suffer from the childcare issues I mentioned above, because Torsten is not a U.S. citizen and can't vote, so he stayed home with the kids while I attended the caucus. The caucus was held at a high school near enough to our house that I could walk there, thank goodness, because as aforementioned, holy traffic and parking issues, my goodness. The walk over felt sort of pleasantly neighborly--I encountered a neighbor waiting for another neighbor to walk over, and they invited me to join them, which I did, and then we gave directions to someone else who was trying to find the school, and everyone was sort of cheerful and chatty and it was lovely. (Also, there was only a Democratic caucus that day, so it wasn't like there were Sanders and Trump fans glaring at each other or anything.)<br />
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The caucus started at 7 and the precinct captain who canvassed our neighborhood told us to plan to arrive between 6:30 and 6:45. We walked in at about 6:40 and the place was PACKED. It was absolute chaos, standing room only, and totally nuts. The high school was the polling place for about 10 different precincts, and each precinct had its own sign-in table in the main hallway with a sign on the wall with the precinct number, but the hall was SO full and crowded that it was impossible to see the signs. There was also a huge line of people who didn't know their precinct number and were waiting to look it up, but thankfully our precinct captain had handed out little cards with our precinct number on them, so we were spared that hell. It took probably about 15 minutes of elbows-out neck-craning to figure out where our precinct check-in was, and then there was actually no line for it so we were able to sign in and head into the cafeteria very quickly. The worst part, though, was this woman in a wheelchair who needed to use the restroom, and it turned out that the restrooms were on the very far end of the hallway on the other side of the massive crowd, and there was just no possible way that she was going to be able to shove through all the people, so she had to just not use the restroom.<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">The crowd in the hallway to check in</span></i></div>
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Anyway, we got in the cafeteria, which was equally full of people and also very, very hot, and managed to find a place near a door that someone had propped open, so that helped. I was assuming that the voting itself would take place in the cafeteria, but that turned out not to be the case. A little bit after 7 they got started, even though tons of people were still checking in out in the hallway. Whoever was in charge, and I still don't know who that was, led the Pledge of Allegiance, and then two people split the duties of reading all the caucus rules out loud. Even though they had a microphone, the room was so loud and crowded that the people at the back couldn't hear at all, and kept yelling in annoyance for them to speak up. However, it turns out that you don't really need to hear what's being said at this time? It seemed very procedural. They were legit reading all the articles of the caucus law, including the actual article numbers like 4.a.1 or whatever, down to the full mailing address of where to send any protests to, and I get that they need to do that, but I personally didn't feel the need to actually be able to decipher what they were saying. Next time, I think, I will come by 7, check in, and then hang out in the hallway until the first part is done and it's time to break down by precinct.</div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">A corner of the crowd in the cafeteria</span></i></div>
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Anyway, so, they read all the rules and then people had an opportunity to make speeches in favor of candidates, which a bunch of people did--not for presidential candidates but for the local stuff that was also happening that night (state senator, district attorney, and university regent). It was interesting to hear the speeches but I had no real idea who to vote for in those races, and the speeches didn't help with that because of course they just all made everyone sound great, but they were only a minute long apiece and didn't get very into the weeds.<br />
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After about half an hour, they read out the classroom numbers that each precinct was assigned to, and we all went off to find our rooms. My precinct was in a science lab and we all sat in those little chairs with desks attached to them. There were about 60 people there and our precinct captain for Hillary was there, but there was no precinct captain for Bernie, which evidently there was supposed to be, because the Hillary precinct captain only had the paperwork for Hillary, so while a Bernie supporter volunteered to be the precinct captain, it took some time to hunt down someone at the caucus who had the appropriate paperwork.<br />
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So, the precinct captain had us split up in a straw poll, Hillary supporters on the left side of the room, Bernie supporters on the right, and uncommitted at the back. It was about a 2:1 split Hillary:Bernie, with two people going to the back to say they were uncommitted, which opened the opportunity for people to make little speeches in favor of their candidates to try to sway the uncommitted people. A few people did that for each side, actually pretty interesting and quite civil, and then the uncommitted people asked how Bernie was going to fund his proposed policies, nobody could give a satisfactory answer, and they both went over to the Hillary side. (I actually suspect that they were Hillary supporters the whole time and were trying to make a point). Then we did a final vote, and the captains for each candidate counted, and a second person counted behind them to confirm, and then they filled out all the paperwork and our precinct awarded two county delegates for Hillary and one for Bernie. Then we selected who actually wanted to BE those delegates, including alternate delegates, and attend the county convention (which is evidently scheduled for the Saturday night right before Easter? Which is also spring break for Denver public schools? Which seems like a puzzling choice, but whatever). Only a few people volunteered, so everyone who volunteered was selected. The whole presidential piece took about half an hour, maybe a little longer, and our precinct captain commented that it had been very efficient and we had made record time.<br />
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At this point things started to go off the rails. The presidential vote was done and the paperwork filed, and that all went smoothly, but we were still supposed to deal with the state and local questions, but there wasn't really anyone running the show. The Hillary precinct captain who had been managing things thus far had only been trained on the presidential piece, and the Bernie precinct captain had only just become precinct captain half an hour prior and wasn't trained at all. The Hillary precinct captain sort of took over and did her best, but it was very confusing, and I never fully figured out the rights of it. Basically, there were candidates for each of the three positions that people had made speeches about in the cafeteria earlier, but apparently we were supposed to just pick one set of local delegates who would vote for all three positions? But also, most people weren't very familiar with the candidates for each position and didn't have strong opinions, and somehow it seemed that we were supposed to vote for district attorney candidates as a proxy for selecting delegates, and the state senator and university regent positions did not get voted on, even though the delegates would be voting for those people too? Which was puzzling, especially because of the three positions, the only one I had any opinion on at all was state senator, but we did not take a vote on state senator. And it wasn't like people were running as a bloc, where if you picked a certain DA candidate you were also voting for a particular senator and regent candidate, so basically it was just all really confusing. Finally, a couple people who were aware of the races gave speeches in favor of various DA candidates, which were a little more useful than the ones in the cafeteria because they talked about some of the actual issues and stances like who had taken a stance against the death penalty and promised not to pursue it, etc., and we all voted, and then somehow we picked some delegates and I guess those people are just going to go to the county convention and vote for whoever they want for state senator and university regent? I'm still confused about this.<br />
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After that, which took about another half an hour, the precinct captain said she was pretty sure that we were done and could go (though really, you can leave a caucus at any time, you're not required to stay or anything, but you only get to vote for things you're actually present for, so you can't, like, show up, sign in, tell someone your preferred presidential candidate, and leave again before the vote if you want your vote actually counted), but she went off to check with the people running the caucus to be sure, and while she was gone one of the people who was originally uncommitted raised his hand to propose a resolution eliminating superdelegates, and then someone else was like, this isn't the place for that, and then they started having a (civil) argument about whether it was or not, and apparently it is? In that you can raise a resolution for anything at all at a caucus and try to get it passed, and the idea is that that's how regular people get involved in the political process? Which is all good and well, but frankly I'm guessing that a random dude wearing a cowboy hat at a high school in Denver isn't going to be the impetus for eliminating superdelegates, and it was hot and I was feeling maxed out, so I left, along with the two neighbors I had walked in with, and we all walked home together. I got home at about 8:45, so altogether, including walking time, I was gone for a little over two hours.<br />
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Altogether, I would say the experience was equal parts fascinating and tedious, but I know that Colorado has tossed around the idea of replacing our caucuses with regular primaries (and I believe, though I'm not sure, that the reason they didn't do that this year was something to do with scheduling--the caucus could be earlier in the year than a primary would be allowed to be--and they wanted to maintain their national relevance, so they kept it). But I have to say, I do really hope that they move to a regular primary system in the future, because it is both easier and more accessible for all voters. Still, I'm glad I had a chance to attend a caucus at least once, if only for the experience.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-70830362523299079982016-01-25T12:35:00.004-07:002016-01-25T12:35:57.435-07:00Callum is FIVEYesterday Callum turned five. FIVE. Five, which sounds like such a big kid age (and hey, BabyCenter agrees with me... those weekly emails that I've been getting since before Callum was born and that I never bothered unsubscribing to changed, on his birthday, from "My Preschooler This Week" to "My Big Kid This Week"). The age of kindergarten. It's a whole new world up in here.<br />
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At five, Callum is spectacular. He is, as much can be expected at this age, incredibly kind and thoughtful. He always wants to help--he loves to hold doors for people, and when Annika can't do something, he's the first to race over to assist. We talk a lot about how we do things in our family, and he is internalizing and repeating it, and as a result we hear a lot about how we are kind and helpful in this family, and we don't say mean things in this family, etc. He offers to share desserts with not just Annika but also Torsten and myself. He's an incredible big brother, and loves Annika so much. We are constantly blown away by how well they play together, and how much he cares about her and thinks about her.<br />
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He's incredibly imaginative. He makes up all sorts of games and dialogues that take my breath away with their creativity and complexity. He can happily play independently for hours, crawling around on the floor with his cars and superheroes, acting out scenarios and interactions. He is testing some limits right now, and comes up with explanations and excuses for his behavior that make us hard-pressed not to laugh (for example, he tells us that Superman or Peter Parker are in his head controlling his voice and that it wasn't HIM that was defiant or said the unkind thing, it was just that Peter Parker made him). He still loves Lightning McQueen, but recently has become very into superheroes (particularly Avengers) and Ninja Turtles, too. He loves Legos, particularly the trains.<br />
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He LOVES preschool. He adores his 15 classmates, knows them all well, and talks about them frequently. He has a best friend at school, the same one all year, and watching them interact is almost like watching brothers--they know each other so well and they press each other's buttons and argue and then figure it out and move on. He is enthusiastic about everything he does, and even if he doesn't do it with finesse, he always does it wholeheartedly.<br />
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He has made some strides with his eating this year, but remains quite picky. However, he will now happily eat hamburgers, hot dogs, and deli meat, and can be convinced sometimes to take bites of chicken and fish, which is a huge step in the right direction after being a de facto vegetarian for about three and a half years. He still prefers carbs and beige food to all else, and would drink as much milk as we would allow. He remains on the bigger side of his age group, but nothing like the incredible off the charts numbers of his infancy. He is very active. He loves to run around, and told me that his favorite activities in gym class are sprints and log rolls, in that order.<br />
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He's just at the point where he's starting to try to write words and figure out letter sounds. He knows all his letters and the sounds they make, and he can figure out the first letter and often the second letter of almost any word. He can write his full name. He constantly wants to know how to spell things, and is getting pretty good at making reasonable guesses when we ask him what he thinks (for example, he wrote "bot" for "boat" and "flor" for "flower"). He seems to have a strong number sense, and can count basically indefinitely, and read five-digit numbers.<br />
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He remains a sensitive kiddo, with a strong desire to be sure he's good at something before he tries it. He is concerned about other people and worries about how they feel. He is experimenting with defiance, and while that's not so fun for any of us, we can see that it makes him feel sort of scared and out of control when he tries it. He has a goofy sense of humor and loves jokes, especially if they involve farting or anything else toilet-related. He is still snuggly, and loves to curl up with us to chat during his bedtime routine each night. He is deeply caring and affectionate, and surprisingly observant about what other people do and like and want.<br />
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He is a pure delight. Happy birthday to our big boy.<br />
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-30050183941535199862016-01-20T07:00:00.000-07:002016-01-20T10:02:43.033-07:00Winter 2.0: New and improved!Last winter was tough. Annika had just turned one. Callum was turning four, and four has been, for us, the most challenging age so far. Torsten was working long hours at his (then new-ish) job. I was also working full time and balancing the primary parenting role as we figured out a new work-life balance with our jobs. I don't get seasonal moodiness or SAD or anything, and I actually like Colorado winters, but two little kids cooped up indoors was hard to manage, especially when one was so little and not really independent. As a result, 2015 was <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/06/bring-on-summer.html">the first year where I had a really strong reaction to the onset of summer</a>, after never caring much about the seasons before (I mean, I LIKE seasons, and I enjoy them changing, but the seasons never had such a direct impact on my daily life before).<br />
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But yeah, winter was hard. Finishing work and trying to cook a decent dinner for the family without any childcare, while Torsten was still at work, with a four-year-old in a challenging phase and a clingy one-year-old who wasn't yet super independent and needed a fair bit of supervision was just... draining. (<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/yqOR3Qyti0/?taken-by=duwaxloolu">As illustrated here</a>.) There was a lot of painful multi-tasking, and dealing with whining and protesting and demands while either letting the dinner boil over or forcing the kids to wait, and there were a lot of messes and a lot of loud indoor horseplay and just... it was wearing.<br />
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And then summer came, and it was lovely, and I really actively enjoyed the outdoors and sunlight components of it, and then when it started getting cold again I thought, shit. Here it comes, another winter of being cooped up inside and stretched too thin and dealing with restless, whiny kids. It was the first time that I've really dreaded winter, flashing back to what it was like the previous year.<br />
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But! Newsflash: A two- and five-year-old are very different from a one- and four-year-old. VERY different. And this winter, I mean of course it's not over yet but in mid-January and multiple large snowstorms in I'd say we're solidly entrenched in the middle of it, but it has been TOTALLY different, and SO MUCH BETTER.<br />
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Two-year-old Annika isn't attached like a barnacle to her mother's leg! (Almost) five-year-old Callum isn't nearly as whiny and combative! Two- and five-year-old Annika and Callum play together independently, and don't require constant supervision! Two- and five-year-old Annika and Callum are learning how to clean up their own messes (albeit usually with some prompting), so turning around after being absorbed in cooking dinner to discover allllll their toys on the floor no longer creates quite the same heart-sinking feeling of doom that it did last year! Two- and five-year-old Annika and Callum can talk to each other, and make up games, and truly interact and enjoy each other! Two-year-old Annika adores five-year-old Callum like nothing else, and will do anything to keep up with him! Five-year-old Callum is a sweet and careful big brother who wants to help two-year-old Annika with everything!<br />
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YOU GUYS IT IS SO GREAT. I mean, it isn't perfect. They argue over toys and Annika sometimes hits (though only Callum, not her classmates at school) when she's frustrated (example from the other day: Annika hit Callum. I asked her to apologize and she did. Callum said "it's NOT okay." Annika yelled, "YES IT IS OKAY" and hit him again in a rage over his lack of acceptance of her apology. Aaaaand scene). Callum is a little less tolerant of Annika's shenanigans than he used to be, and will sometimes retaliate. It's not all sun-dappled fields of sibling adoration over here.<br />
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But it's so GREAT, still. Generally our philosophy is to let them sort their stuff out on their own as much as possible, and if we do have to step in, to redirect them back toward each other to figure it out together as much as possible, and you know, I wouldn't have even thought that would really be possible with a just-turned-two-year-old, but at least with Annika, it totally is, and it's amazing to watch how well they can usually navigate their little hills and valleys themselves. And now I finish work and I cook dinner mostly in peace. And the kids can reach the toys themselves and don't have to constantly ask for help, and I can trust that they aren't going to grievously injure themselves or destroy the house. And the horseplay is still there, but they both love it and nobody has broken a bone or needed a stitch yet (KNOCK ON WOOD) so it doesn't have the same fraught, chaotic feeling to it that it did last year. They are still LOUD and I wouldn't exactly love to try to get WORK done where I have to read and focus and be creative while they're around, amusing themselves, but something like cooking? Or straightening up? Or other household stuff? I can TOTALLY do that. There are no more barnacles in this house, and it's such a good thing.<br />
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I guess in some ways it's poignant... I mean, Annika <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/7O_oB9StoQ/?taken-by=duwaxloolu">moved into</a> a <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/06/big-girl-room.html">big girl room</a> this summer and we <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/7QuvUPStpo/?taken-by=duwaxloolu">converted our former nursery back into Torsten's office</a> and that was very much the end of an era, and there are no more baby toys and containment devices and no more bottles or cribs and a lot fewer cuddles, frankly, unless someone's sick, and you know what? Those things were delightful, they were, I truly enjoyed the baby phase (though I don't think Torsten would say the same about himself), but where we are now is even better, so I don't feel wistful for what's gone. I just love how much simpler and easier and RIGHT things are now, and the fact that they will continue to get even more so (like, say, when whatever weird sleep regression that Annika is currently undergoing ends, PLEASE LET THAT BE TONIGHT). It just feels... like this is why we did this, this is where we are, with the four-person family we wanted, and the associated dynamics we were hoping for.<br />
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We are so lucky. And I can enjoy winter again.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-11108273381415305942015-12-28T12:08:00.001-07:002015-12-28T12:09:37.340-07:00A year of personal growth<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Previous years: <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/01/2014-fastest-year-ive-ever-had.html">2014</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2013/12/it-was-very-good-year.html">2013</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-year-that-was.html">2012</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2011/12/time-to-sum-it-all-up-again.html">2011</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-favorite-blogging-tradition.html">2010</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2009/12/year-in-review.html">2009</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2008/12/end-of-year-again.html">2008</a>, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2007/12/year-end-summary.html">2007</a>) <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><br />
<b><br style="background-color: white;" /></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/08/kaiserslautern-cuxhaven-and-cologne.html">Traveled internationally with two children</a>. <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/06/on-biking-and-also-fatness-accidentally.html">Biked in a race</a>. <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/08/its-only-preschool-and-yet.html">Sent a child to public school</a>. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Commissioned a painting.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Took two kids on a beach vacation</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;"> (pretty sure that trip single-handedly ensured the success of the sunscreen industry this year). </span><a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/08/international-house-of-cool-round-2.html" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Hosted my French host family at our home</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">. Flew by myself with two kids. </span><a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/05/new-favorite-place-isla-mujeres.html" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Visited Isla Mujeres</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">. Started a five-year diary, and wrote in it every day.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Last year I said that I wanted "to do some more organizing (nursery and basement closets: I'm looking at you), blog about something real from time to time, get the kids' college funds in order, and take more photos with our real camera." I did get the nursery and basement closets organized, as well as Torsten's whole office, which was our catch-all room, so that's a yes. I did return to blogging, which has been great, though it's petered out a bit toward the end of the year. The college funds remain an ongoing thing to resolve. The camera photos... eh. Some, but not enough. So, two out of four. Next year I think we may buy a smaller "real" camera that isn't quite so unwieldy and will be easier to carry around with us and grab to shoot with, so hopefully the photo thing will improve, and I want to keep blogging at least as much as I blogged from May through October of this year. We are going to try to potty train Annika. And I want to work with Torsten to find a balance that works for us now that we've hit a routine... the kids are getting older, there are no more babies in the house, we have school and daycare more or less figured out, work is reasonably stable... so now is the time to figure out some stuff about how our family life works best and how we can establish a division of labor and routine that make us both feel supported and not overwhelmed.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">3. Did anyone close to you give birth?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;"><a href="https://twitter.com/jonniker">Jonna</a>, as well as two of my college friends, Jill and Jen.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">4. Did anyone close to you die?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />5. What countries did you visit?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Mexico and Germany. I also took both kids to Maryland and Pennsylvania as a surprise for my mom's 60th birthday, went to Albuquerque for PJs at <a href="http://www.hellokorio.com/">TJ</a>'s, went to Boston and Chicago for girls' weekends, attended a wedding (with bonus <a href="http://twitter.com/snoozical">Susie</a> and <a href="http://twitter.com/happilyeverme">Miranda</a> time) in the Bay Area, and went to DC for work.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">A skincare routine that consistently keeps my skin in good condition. A bit more balance in our home life.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">7. What moments from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">Watching Callum transition to a new and very different preschool, and seeing how he has thrived and built friendships there. Seeing Annika develop into this incredible little PERSON with opinions and verbal skills and a sense of humor and, yes, curly hair. Spending time with Torsten in Mexico and having some really important state of the union conversations about our future goals for our family. Going on a family trip to the North Sea with great trepidation, only to discover that it's completely amazing and we want to go back as often as we can. Surprising my mom with a visit to Hershey with all her grandkids for her birthday, and spending a week in Pennsylvania during an incredible cold snap. Getting to a deeper plane of friendship with my closest friends, and seeing how we all collectively love and support each other through all kinds of shit.</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">I spoke up for myself, on a couple different fronts, and got the results I wanted. I have learned that I tend to be a problem-solver not just for myself but for everyone around me, and a person who always wants to accommodate other people, and sometimes that means I don't do what I need for myself, and that is something I've been working on, and I think it's actually starting to take.</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">9. What was your biggest failure?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Not always stepping back and seeing the broader perspective. Failing to understand underlying reasons for things, and reacting with frustration and snippiness as a result.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">10. Did you suffer illness or injury?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Nothing major.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">11. What was the best thing you bought?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">A <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/11/heart-rate.html">FitBit</a>. The aforementioned commissioned painting (a watercolor of <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2012/09/back-in-game.html">the cottage</a> <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2014/07/eight-months-old.html">in Maine</a> that we always stay at). Skincare products. Earrings (after I finally got my messed-up left ear piercing fixed). A rowing machine.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">12. Whose behavior merited celebration?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Torsten's, like every year. He has watched me go through my own little set of epiphanies and adjustments, and they haven't always been easy on him, and he hasn't always known how to handle them, but he has been right there, in it with me, wanting to help, wanting to know what he can do, and trying really hard to support me. And all while dealing with his own stuff--a challenging job, his own figuring out of work-life balance, his fitness.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">People who are incapable of friendship on a deep level, but pretend otherwise and thus make a mockery of what it means to truly love and support and trust your friends.</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">14. Where did most of your money go?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Same answer for the fifth straight year: our mortgage and childcare.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">Our family. I am loving this phase and feeling really good about how our lives will look as a family of four moving forward. The prospect of years of all of us together laying out in front of us makes me feel really happy.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />16. What song will always remind you of 2015?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Bad Blood by Taylor Swift</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />17. Compared to this time last year, are you:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">a) happier or sadder?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">b) thinner or fatter?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">c) richer or poorer?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">a) Happier</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">b) Thinner - all baby weight is finally gone</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">c) About the same - maybe a little richer in the boring ways like retirement accounts and home equity</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">18. What do you wish you’d done more of?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">Sleeping. Working out.</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">19. What do you wish you’d done less of?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">Waiting for problems to get fixed without me contributing.</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">20. How did you spend Christmas?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">My parents came to visit (they're still here, actually). We had a very nice, l0w-key Christmas with happy kids, lovely gifts for everyone, and a delicious dinner in our pajamas. Both kids are completely in love with their grandparents, and we've been enjoying a really nice, pleasant visit.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />21. Did you fall in love in 2015?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />22. What was your favorite TV program?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">House of Cards. Cheers. Veep.</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />24. What was the best book you read?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">I read a lot of books this year, which I'm pleased about, AND I tracked them all, so I was able to look at my list to pick a favorite, and I think it was <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ill-Give-You-Jandy-Nelson/dp/0142425761">I'll Give You the Sun</a> by Jandy Nelson.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">25. What was your greatest musical discovery?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">26. What did you want and get?</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px;">A happy family. Work-life balance for myself. A really lovely Christmas present from Torsten (and another from a dear friend).</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />27. What did you want and not get?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">A magic bullet. A foolproof eyebrow shape.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />28. What was your favorite film of this year?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">I think we only saw one movie in the theater this year, Inside Out, which I liked, though it was by far not my favorite Pixar movie.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Torsten gave me my gifts (a gorgeous watch and earrings) in the morning before work, then we took a lunch break together and grabbed Chipotle and birthday cake. After work, Torsten and I went out on our own for dinner at my favorite restaurant. I turned 31.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">I've said this for the last couple of years, but I really mean it: truly, nothing. Not to say that it was a perfect year or that everything in my life is ideal, but it was deeply satisfying even in the hard parts, because I am winding up the year feeling like a team and a family, and knowing that we're all on the same side, and happy about our lives together. The satisfaction of that feeling papers over a lot of cracks.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br />31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Pants that fit correctly. Colored jeans when possible. Venturing into the world of booties and earrings. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">32. What kept you sane?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Same as last year: My little family. My group of best friends.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">I'm bad at this.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">34. What political issue stirred you the most?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Like last year: Pretty much all of them. The refugee crisis is a big one at the moment, of course, though I find it depressing that it even qualifies as a political issue.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">35. Who did you miss?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">I'm slightly tweaking my answer from the past six years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away (this previously said pretty much all of them lived far away, but by now I have several very dear local friends who are lovely and sanity-saving, so I'm amending a smidge).</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">36. Who was the best new person you met?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Well, I didn't meet them this year, but there are two moms of classmates at Callum's old school who I've known for a couple years now but who have truly become close friends this year, and I love them both and am so grateful to have them. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">There are people who seem like fun and who can be enjoyable to spend time with, but not all of them are people who truly care about you and love you and will see you through any shit. Sometimes the people in the latter group mess up, and that's OK, because they will still be there after they mess up, trying to fix it. And, as always, follow your instincts. Sometimes there's a reason someone hasn't moved from the first category to the second. Sometimes people will say things that don't make sense, and that's when you need to look closer, because that's when you can discern who is really your person and who isn't.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;">38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">Happy New Year, everybody!</span>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-6276529627070059282015-11-12T11:20:00.004-07:002015-11-12T11:20:36.482-07:00Heart rateI've now had my lap-band for 6.5 years, during which time I've lost 85 pounds, interspersed with two pregnancies and two sets of lost baby weight (so total pounds lost is actually WELL over 85, but alas, the baby weight doesn't count in the total). During that time I've also developed a lot of opinions about attitudes and language and self-image related to weight loss and concepts of health and fitness. At some point I will try to articulate all that stuff in a blog post. At this particular moment I will say that, counter-intuitive as it sounds, having the band has actually enabled me to care LESS about my weight, not just because it's lower and therefore a less pressing concern but because it's done wonders for my mental state.<br />
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That's really a topic for another post, but I started with it because it's a segue into the very specific niche thing I want to talk about recently, which is my obsession with heart rate as a measure of fitness. The reason this relates is that it used to be that I worked out to lose weight. And that was extremely frustrating, because I actually haven't noticed a major correlation, at least in myself, between frequency and intensity of workouts and rate of weight loss. For me, diet is the much more influential component of weight loss. So, if I'm working out to lose weight and I don't see an impact, I lose my motivation very quickly, and before I know it, weeks have gone by and I haven't worked out. Not good.<br />
<br />
But! For a long time now, I've been able to separate working out and weight loss in my head, and it has been a huge mental bonus for me. I work out because it's good for me. It improves my fitness level, it's good for my heart, it makes me feel better physically and mentally. It's just a good thing, even if it doesn't result in any weight loss.<br />
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(This isn't to say that I am perfect about working out... various shifts in our lifestyle like babies, job changes, childcare changes, etc. have had their impact over the years and so how often I work out really depends on where we are currently, but recently I've been able to get back into it more and that's been great--though I know there will be more periods of less frequent working out in the future.)<br />
<br />
Anyway! The point is, in lieu of weight loss as my benchmark of effectiveness, I look to heart rate. I always wear a heart rate belt when I work out, so I can see my real-time heart rate on the machine and adjust the intensity of my workout to keep it in my target zone (120s-130s, typically). Awhile back, Torsten got me a watch that communicated with my heart rate belt so that I could see my heart rate while doing exercise not on a gym machine, primarily <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/06/on-biking-and-also-fatness-accidentally.html">bike riding</a>.<br />
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I LOVE being able to track my heart rate. First of all, it's data, and I'm sort of obsessed with data, so it suits my personality. But second, I find it incredibly motivating, because I see tangible improvements and I see them very quickly. I have to work SO MUCH HARDER now to get my heart rate into the target zone. When I first started working out, my heart rate shot into the target zone basically immediately. I recall, years ago, plodding along on the <a href="http://www.precor.com/en-us/precor-amt-open-stride">adaptive motion trainer</a> (my gym machine of choice) with the resistance and incline on the lowest setting, having to force myself to basically walk interspersed with bursts of short jogging to keep my heart rate from flying into the 160s. Now, I usually do interval training with the incline on 3 out of 5 and the resistance ranging from 13 to 19 out of 20, and I still have to push pretty hard to get my heart rate into the 130s. It's such a huge difference. And! When I go without working out for a few weeks, I can see that my heart rate goes up faster, but! The flip side is that just a couple of workouts and I can already see it improving.<br />
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It is so SATISFYING, is what I'm saying. You can SEE your heart getting healthier and your body getting fitter as a result of your efforts! IT is SO MUCH MORE GRATIFYING than measuring results based on weight loss.<br />
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And now! I've been using a combination of iPhone apps (primarily MyFitnessPal for nutrition tracking and Pacer and MapMyRide for steps/activity tracking) as my fitness tools. Torsten tried out a FitBit a few years back and didn't love it, primarily because at the time it was wildly inaccurate, so he returned it, and since then neither of us has really thought about getting one. However, Torsten noticed recently that there's a new FitBit out, the Charge HR, that tracks... you guessed it! Heart rate! So, good man that he is, he got me one (AND it's purple).<br />
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I've only had it for a day, so I'll report back, but so far I LOVE it. It's so cool! And it's really accurate! And it has a great iPhone app, or an online dashboard if you want to be a Luddite using a regular computer. It tracks your heart rate and it can tell whether it's resting or active, and buckets those things separately so you can track them differently. It tracks the steps you take in a day and how many flights of stairs you climb and how far you travel and how many active minutes. It also tracks your sleep, which is so so cool, and it lets you track exercise, start a food plan, monitor calories, and track water consumption, too. So basically, it's everything that I've been managing across multiple apps, all rolled into one and conveniently synced with the FitBit itself.<br />
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I am so, so pleased. And also, I think I may now have a new obsession... now that I don't have to wear a heart rate belt to see my heart rate, and I have essentially continuous monitoring via wrist, I can start focusing on changes in my resting heart rate over time. Fitness, ahoy!<br />
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Sorry, I'm a geek. But seriously. It's purple, it streamlines activities that I was already doing, AND it tells me my heart rate ALL THE TIME. It was MADE for me. I am so happy.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-28772957143791180472015-11-02T10:04:00.000-07:002015-11-02T10:04:02.438-07:00TWO.Our chunky, squashy newborn with the rubber band wrists is no longer. These is no baby in this household anymore. Because this baby girl is TWO:<br />
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At two, Annika is a wonder. She runs everywhere. She loves horses and dogs and dolls and fire trucks and Legos. She sings and dances frequently. She loves to watch football, and gets very angry and yells "MORE BRONCOS!" whenever a commercial comes on. She is obsessed with her brother and wants to do everything he does. She is very physical and loves to jump and horse around. If she falls down and hurts herself, you can usually avert the meltdown by saying, "Can you say..." and her face will light up and she will shout, "BOINK!" She is so, so happy, nearly all of the time.<br />
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She talks up a storm. She says four-word sentences, has her "me/I" and "you" pronouns down (alas), uses subjects and verbs correctly, and has just in the last day or two started figuring out to invert subject and verb to ask a question (this morning she asked me, "Can you help me?"). She has very firm opinions on every topic (also this morning, when I went in her room I said "happy birthday!" and she said "NO HAPPY BIRTHDAY"--but changed her tune after opening a couple gifts). If you ask her if she's a muffin, she will loudly say, "No, I a NUT NUT BEAR." She sang "happy birthday" to herself all the way to preschool today.<br />
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She is a creature of habit, and likes her routine, but is getting better and better at rolling with the punches. We have learned that she needs to be informed about things in advance so that she has time to process--not just that bedtime or whatever is in a few minutes, but also what is going to happen over the course of the day, especially anything out of the ordinary. Armed with that information, though, she can handle everything, but is definitely a verbal processor, as we will hear her talking about any upcoming plans or changes in routine pretty much nonstop.<br />
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Her hair is definitely curly. Her eye color is still undetermined... they are not as blue as they once were, and seem to be turning to green or gray or maybe hazel? She remains near the top of the charts for size. She always wants to pick out her own clothes and her own bowl and spoon, and put the top on her milk cup herself. She loves to be a helper and she's surprisingly efficient at cleaning up. She has a little conscience, and knows when she's doing something wrong (yesterday I found her holding an iPad and when I walked in, she jumped guiltily, put it down, and said, "No iPad. Callum's iPad"). She also has a little sense of humor, and laughs hysterically after she tells her toddler jokes, or after anyone else has a bodily function of any kind. She says "bless you!" when people sneeze or cough or hiccup. She is sensitive, and if she gets scolded her giant eyes will well up with tears and her face will fall and she will run sobbing into my arms for a hug. If she is playing roughly and you ask her to give gentle touches, she will softly stroke the person's hair before immediately returning to her roughhousing. She loves to give hugs and kisses, and will request them frequently and then lay her little curly head on your shoulder and snuggle in.<br />
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She is a pure delight. Happy birthday to our big girl.<br />
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-60961571920579244182015-10-22T11:08:00.003-06:002015-10-22T11:08:58.092-06:00Snapping out of it, because come onIt has been a WEEK. Work is super hectic, primarily because one of my best employees gave her notice on Monday and after I finished weeping over the loss, I've been scrambling desperately to replace her. We were supposed to be doing our annual family photos this weekend, but a miscommunication with our photographer led to them being rescheduled to next week, which is fine, really, but frustrating as I've been preparing and also am thinking the leaf colors won't be quite as good a week later, but so it goes. I have been having repeated frustrations trying to schedule a play date with one of Callum's best friends from school ("Davey" from <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/10/kindness-and-giftedness-and-schools.html">this post</a>), which still hasn't happened after four attempts spanning more than a month. Annika has been fighting bedtime with me for the last few days, with incredibly aggravating and escalating stalling attempts, though thankfully she doesn't seem to do this with Torsten so... guess who's in charge of bedtime now? Small mercies, I guess.<br />
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Anyway, it's only Thursday and I'm basically here flailing about and crying uncle because I'm afraid of what else the last couple days of this week might throw at us. But instead of dwelling, I'm trying to take refuge in good/small things, because otherwise, bleh. So, here's my "snap out of it, self" bulleted list:<br />
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<ul>
<li>After an unseasonably warm September and first half of October (we were still running the air conditioning! Regularly!), the weather has finally turned over the last couple days. Highs below 50 yesterday and today, lots of rain (always good in a semi-arid climate, plus what's rain in Denver is snow in the mountains and that's good for ski tourism), and tomorrow the sun returns but the weather will remain cooler and fall-like. Yay! <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/06/bring-on-summer.html">Summer was lovely</a>, and very practical with kids, but I'm ready for something different.</li>
<li>I've been focusing on my fitness for the last few months, and I'm seeing results, both in terms of weight/clothing size and in terms of stamina at the gym (getting to higher levels on the machines while maintaining the same heart rate). That is very moralizing, and also right now I'm wearing smaller pants, and that's very moralizing too.</li>
<li>We are heading into a spate of celebrations/occasions... first Halloween, of course, and then our wedding anniversary is November 1, Annika's birthday is November 2, and Torsten's birthday is November 7, so that's honestly probably the craziest week of the year for us (plus the birthday of one of Callum's best friends from his old school is November 3 so that throws an extra party into the mix for us that week). Lots of stuff to plan and coordinate, but also: birthdays! Anniversaries! Kid-adored holidays! All good things. We will definitely be going low-key on the celebrations for all of the above, but it will be a fun week for sure.</li>
<li>Per the above, the week of craziness always feels like the kickoff to the holiday season for me, because once it wraps, it's almost Thanksgiving. And I do love the holiday season. I actually really like winter in Colorado, because even though it's cold and snowy, the cold isn't enduring, and neither is the grayness--we get lots of sun, even in winter. So, bring it on. (Famous last words?)</li>
<li>Also per the above, we have so many toys already (this is a real second child advantage--access to all the cool toys at a much younger age) that we are keeping it very limited for Annika's birthday presents. In fact, we're only planning to give her one, but it is a splurge: an <a href="http://www.americangirl.com/shop/dolls/bitty-baby">American Girl Bitty Baby</a>. I am super excited. I'm leaning toward getting the one with red hair and hazel eyes because it's surprisingly rare to find a red-haired doll that doesn't look comical, but also would love to get something a little more diverse, so... am torn, basically. But don't worry: the outfit will definitely be purple.</li>
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Hey, wow, just writing out that list has made me feel better. Catharsis! I have it.</div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-53253868186974252532015-10-13T07:01:00.000-06:002015-10-14T12:50:22.182-06:00Kindness and giftedness and schoolsOne of the things that has really come to the forefront of our minds as parents during this whole <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/08/its-only-preschool-and-yet.html">school research and selection process</a> has been what our priorities are for our kids and how we raise them. That, to me, is honestly what a lot of this school stuff has boiled down to. As we've thought through this process, the question hasn't just been "where can Callum (and eventually Annika) find the academic rigor we need?" In fact, that hasn't been the question at all. For us, the question has been "where can we find a school that will nurture our kids holistically, help them grow and collaborate and learn from others, and foster a spirit of kindness and community?"<br />
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Of course we care about academics, but honestly, I feel comfortable that any solid school can provide those, and we are lucky to have multiple solid school options available to us. Torsten and I were both gifted as kids, and we both spent our fair share of school time sitting around waiting for others to catch up. It's too soon to tell, with our kids not quite 2 and 5 yet, whether they will also be classified as gifted. So far we have heard from each of their preschool teachers that both kids appear relatively advanced, so although they are too young to label as gifted, we currently have no concerns about their general ability to thrive academically in pretty much any decent school environment. So truly, what we are looking for is (excuse the buzzword) a whole child education. And we feel that we've found that in Callum's school, and are deeply happy with our choice, and are very hopeful that he will be able to remain at that school throughout elementary, and that Annika will be able to attend there as well.<br />
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Because here is the thing about schools: even if our kids turn out to be gifted, I am not really worried about them being challenged with difficult enough material (granted, they are still very young so I may change my tune about this down the road). But I strongly believe that "gifted" in the sense of academically talented and/or high IQ is just one way for kids, and all people, to offer things to the world. Kids who might be more middle of the pack, or even behind, academically, have just as much to offer to the school, to the class, to their peers as everyone else. I don't want my kids to be bored in school, but I want them learning the value of collaboration, and considering diverse perspectives, and understanding that even if schoolwork is easier for them than it is for some of their peers, their peers still have thoughts and opinions and ideas that they didn't have, and that maybe the very fact of school being more challenging for some kids actually enhances their ability to contribute in certain ways, because they are learning from their experiences, and every child's school experience is unique, even among kids in the same class.<br />
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So, if my kids are gifted and fly through their schoolwork and need to be challenged? Fine. I want a school that will challenge them by encouraging them to collaborate, and look elsewhere, and work harder, and revise, and keep trying, and consider new ideas. I want them to be encouraged to spend any leftover academic energy on thinking critically, and growing as a person, and caring about their friends and classmates, and investing in their little community. I want them in a community of diverse people and I want them learning how to work and play with all different kinds of people. You know, kind of like adult life.<br />
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So, for me: I don't care if my kids are academic standouts who test well and are known as smart. I don't care if they are the class president or the star of the debate team or the star of the football team (actually that's a lie, I DO care because they <a href="http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/92189-overview">will not be allowed to play football</a>, sorry, but you get the point).<br />
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What I do care about is kindness. That is my top priority to teach my kids. And I LOVE Callum's school (and Annika's, which also has this DOWN, and which isn't the point of this post just because I'm thinking long-term here and her school is preschool-only) because the educational model is ALL ABOUT teaching kids the value inherent in each person, and teaching them how to collaborate and learn from each other, and I feel like those are the sources from which innate kindness grows. There's no superiority conveyed to kids who have an easier time with academics or are considered gifted, there's no glorifying or separating out for accomplishments. There's a focus on effort and feedback and sharing and considering multiple viewpoints. And I believe that is how you teach kindness.<br />
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Callum's class this year is also much bigger than it was last year (15 kids compared to last year's 5 kids), and I've been impressed at the opportunities that this social structure has provided for teaching kindness. For example, the very first week of school Callum made a friend, let's call him Howie. For the whole first week all we ever heard from Callum was Howie this and Howie that and Howie is his best friend and he and Howie played superheroes together and Howie Howie Howie everything. Then, in the second week of school Callum made another friend, let's call him Davey. At first Callum said that Davey was his "second best friend" but very quickly we started hearing more and more about Davey and not quite as much about Howie.<br />
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Then, one day on the ride home from school I was asking Callum about his day and he told me that he and Davey had played together but they hadn't let Howie join, even though Howie wanted to play with them. He told me that Howie was sad and didn't have anyone to play with and that he and Davey didn't care. Then, he added that if Howie came over for a playdate that weekend as planned, he (Callum) would lock the door and not let him in, and wouldn't share with him or play with him at all.<br />
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Seriously, my heart almost broke. These kids are only four years old, and it's already so complicated! Also, not having been particularly popular in school myself, I think somehow I was much more steeled to deal with other kids being mean to my kids than mine being the mean ones. I felt so terrible for poor Howie being shut out, and so so sad that it was my kid making another one feel bad. The whole way home from school I talked to Callum about how it's OK not to be best friends with everyone, but about how it's all of our jobs to make sure that our friends feel included and have someone to play with, and how it's never OK to make someone feel sad or excluded. Every time I tried to explain this, he just interrupted to say that Howie wasn't his friend anymore and only Davey was his friend and how he didn't want to play with Howie anymore. By the time we got home, I was feeling super defeated and exhausted, like I was beating my head against a brick wall and not getting through to Callum at all about this value that is so very important to our family. Finally I just gave up and reminded Callum of how much fun he had had playing superheroes with Howie, and he brightened up and was like "Oh yeah, OK, Howie CAN come to our house for a playdate and we'll play superheroes!" and we all moved on. But I still walked away feeling like I had completely failed in teaching the kindness lesson to my kid in this instance.<br />
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BUT! The next morning on the way to school? Callum started talking independently about how that day he was going to play with Davey AND Howie, and the other kids at school too, and how he was going to be kind and make sure that everyone felt included so that nobody would be said. Honestly, I almost fell over. He had so CLEARLY been listening during our talk the day before, even while he was arguing and protesting and acting like it was all going over our head, and I could see that what I had said had stuck in his head and that he'd been thinking about it and was planning to act on it. And! He truly did. He came home that day and told me all about how he'd played with Davey and Howie and also Susan and Willa Jean, and had so much fun, and was so kind to all his friends. In the month since then, this problem hasn't arisen again. Callum, Davey, and Howie seem to be a little trio of friends, they play together regularly, and Callum also talks about playing with the other kids. He knows all of their names and things about them, and I have been really impressed at how well he has gotten to know them so quickly. He talks about who does what and who likes what and who does art and who brings lunch from home vs. eating the school lunch. I can see that he has been absorbing the lessons we've been trying to teach him, and that makes me feel so much better about those frustrating moments when it really does feel like I'm beating my head against a wall for no reason.<br />
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And--to bring it full circle--I love how this is the exact philosophy that Callum's teachers are working so hard to impress on the kids. They have the same approach, that you don't have to be best friends with everyone but that it's not OK to ever be unkind or exclusive, and they are very big into fostering collaboration and teamwork and encouraging everyone to provide feedback to everyone else to help them grow and improve their work. For example, they all did self-portraits and have gone through multiple iterations based on class feedback. They all share their work and discuss it together and offer ideas and suggestions to each other on how to build on early drafts. Obviously, at the preschool level we're not talking about rewriting essays, but I've been impressed at how they've applied this philosophy with age-appropriate activities. Here's Callum's first self-portrait iteration and his most recent version, created based on class collaboration sessions:<br />
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I guess in the end I'm just really grateful that we've found a school that makes me feel like I'm not going it alone in this, where I really feel like the principal and the teachers and the whole educational philosophy are working to support exactly the same priorities that I have for my own kids. That, to me, is much more important than academic rigor to promote giftedness. My kids are thriving, both of them, and learning in every way, and learning social skills and values that are exactly consistent with what we are trying to teach them at home. And THAT is exactly what we want in a school.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-19970091900360897412015-10-09T07:00:00.000-06:002015-10-09T07:00:02.645-06:00Bathroom, refreshedThanks so much for all of <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/09/bathroom-paint-advice-please.html">your input on how to repaint our bathroom</a>. It was SUPER helpful to consider it all, and we did end up going with an idea that <a href="http://www.imperfectblog.com/">Emily</a>, my favorite design guru, provided in a comment (not to mention a flurry of follow-up emails where I asked increasingly desperate and specific questions before we finally got everything settled).<br />
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The idea was white paint below the chair rail and peacock blue above it. We went back and forth between two Benjamin Moore colors--the more muted and sophisticated <a href="http://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/paint-color/largoteal">Largo Teal</a> and the brighter and more playful <a href="http://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/paint-color/surfblue">Surf Blue</a>. Side by side, I leaned toward the Largo Teal because it seemed like the safer and more polished choice, but Torsten has a THING for bright paint colors and I always, always veto him, and I did genuinely like the Surf Blue even while I was a little nervous about how it would look as a paint color, so I kind of felt like... if I'm ever going to compromise on paint colors (and yes I know, it's both of our house and I can't rule the decor choices with an iron fist, but also, sometimes I'm OBJECTIVELY CORRECT and we are not painting our whole house in primary colors), half of a small bathroom seems like a good place to do that. Even though looking at the bright color side by side with the more muted color made me feel a smidge nervous (Surf Blue on the left, Largo Teal on the right):<br />
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So! We went with the Surf Blue, Torsten's bright color preference and actually? It turned out AWESOME. It isn't as bright as I was expecting, and I feel like it really works. It's not juvenile or garish at all. I don't even feel like I compromised or settled... I just straight up love it. Everyone who has come over since we painted it has exclaimed over how great it is, including people whose own home decor I really admire, so I'm feeling good about it. I also LOVE the way the lizard looks on the wall (the lizard has a few touches of peacock blue in its design, so I feel like it really works).<br />
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Now, two choices left... do we keep the current mirror (which I thought I wouldn't like but actually I like much better with the teal paint than I did with the beige) or go with something a little simpler? If simpler, I'm strongly leaning toward <a href="http://www.homedepot.com/p/Home-Decorators-Collection-24-35-in-W-x-35-35-in-L-Framed-Wall-Mirror-in-Silver-81159/205577508">this one</a>, but am undecided. And... what to hang on the big expanse of wall that is currently totally blank? All thoughts are, as always, appreciated.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-44741463695784812522015-10-07T11:00:00.003-06:002015-10-07T11:00:58.824-06:00Volume 9, kind of, with a side of drearTorsten is in Germany for work this week and... ehhhh. It's not super fun. He doesn't travel for work all that much, so I can't really complain (especially since his work is remote and that often comes with a hefty dose of travel). And when he has domestic business trips it's not so bad. But the German ones are just... blah. First of all, he leaves on Saturday afternoon because it's an overnight flight so he arrives in Germany on Sunday morning, takes a nap, has dinner with his parents, and then is rested and ready to work on Monday morning. So we lose pretty much a whole weekend with him every time. Second of all, the eight-hour time difference is absolutely killer. He and I have almost no contact the whole time he's gone--just a couple of quick texts exchanged during the few moments when he has just woken up for the day and I'm about to go to bed.<br />
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But the worst part is that he doesn't get to talk to the kids at all the whole time he's gone. When Torsten wakes up for the day, the kids are asleep. When the kids wake up, Torsten is at work. When Torsten gets home from work, the kids are at school. When the kids get home from school, Torsten is asleep. And... repeat. So, it's a full week, not just a work week, of solo parenting for me, combined with a side of the kids missing their dad and asking repeatedly when they're going to get to talk to him and when he's going to come home, and all around it's just no fun.<br />
<br />Also, today is the ninth anniversary of our first date, which is also the day we met for the first time and the day our relationship started. Normally this is the anniversary we care about most, more than our wedding anniversary, but... different continents today, so. Bleh all around.<br />
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Anyway! Dreary attitude aside, things are fine, really. The weather has finally turned fall-like, and I noticed this morning that there's fresh snow on the highest mountains, so that's great, and also lovely. With Torsten out of town I can't get to the gym in the evenings, but I've managed to fit in a couple of afternoon sessions, so I feel good about that. A dear friend came over last night after all our respective kids were asleep for the night and just hung out and chatted, and that was delightful and a refreshing dose of adult company. I have a sitter coming tomorrow so I can go to my book club, which I love, so I'm looking forward to that too. And honestly, the kids have been happy and well-behaved and it's going fine.<br />
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Also, the kids and I took Montana to the dog park on Monday and for the first time, Callum and Montana really played together, like buds, running together and waiting for each other and just having a good time. Montana has always been totally fine with our kids, gentle and protective, but she has never been thrilled about them--you could tell when we brought Callum home from the hospital that she felt like she was being punished for something, and waves of that rescue dog needy-people-pleaser remorse came rolling off her, and while she's adjusted in the ensuing almost five (!) years, it's never been one of those relationships where kids and dog are BFFs. But at the dog park, they WERE lovely together and very happy, and that was really nice to see.<br />
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So it hasn't been a bad week, truly! But. I don't know, it's just dragging. I miss Torsten, and the kids miss him too, and... well, like I said above: ehhhh.<br />
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Anyway! Happy anniversary to us. These are the only two pictures I can find of just the two of us from the last year. So... better get on that whole photo-taking thing, <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2007/10/taking-cue-from-dooce.html">because</a> <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2008/10/dear-torsten-volume-2.html">my,</a> <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2010/10/dear-torsten-volume-4.html">how</a> <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2011/10/dear-torsten-volume-5.html">things</a> <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2012/10/dear-torsten-volume-6.html">have</a> <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2013/10/dear-torsten-volume-7.html">changed</a>. So many photos back in the day! Ah, well. The relationship is thriving, so I guess the photos are secondary? Let's hope, anyway.<br />
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-42200146042319539792015-09-24T07:01:00.000-06:002015-09-24T09:16:02.573-06:00Bathroom paint advice, pleaseOK, so, we have just made the impromptu decision to paint our main floor half-bathroom. This was unplanned because we only just finally got our handyman in to repair all the <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/06/be-windowed.html">paint and drywall damage caused by the window installation</a>, and luckily the guy who fixed and flipped our house before we bought it left all the paint he used, and it turned out that we had every paint we needed except the one for this bathroom, BUT we didn't realize that until our guy had already used a slightly off shade of beige around the window, so right now the bathroom has a two-tone look going on.<br />
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We have made no changes to this bathroom whatsoever since moving in (unless you count hanging up the ceramic lizard--eventually we will hang more stuff on the walls, when we get around to it). It has a beige paint color that we never would have selected ourselves, and the same goes for the mirror and fixtures, but we don't hate them or anything and aren't interested in spending money to replace them. But, I'm also not interested in bothering to try to paint-match the beige, which wouldn't be a sure thing anyway since we don't know anything about the paint that was used in there, and would rather spend a little more time and money (and it's not much more, since it's such a small bathroom) to make it a much nicer color.<br />
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So! Here's the bathroom in its current state. As you can see, beige paint with white trim and chair rail, white marble-ish counter top (with gray streaks) over dark brown cabinetry, weird frosted/etched mirror that is ostensibly neutral in color but has always seemed to me to have a mint green undertone, gray window blind. I had some trouble with the lighting in these so the paint color doesn't look the same in all of them, but I think the current color is most accurately represented in the close-up of the lizard.<br />
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As far as parameters, we are leaning toward a non-neutral color in the bathroom, something not overwhelming but a little bit bright and fun. Torsten in particular is a big fan of bright colored paint, and we aren't willing to do that in any of our actual big house rooms, so a bathroom seems like a good spot for something a little more fun and less neutral than the light gray that we will probably end up painting most of the rest of the house someday that is probably much further in the future than I care to consider. (Edited to add, thanks to <a href="https://mrsdashoff.wordpress.com/">Diane</a>: you know how I feel about purple, but actually I think we'll do our master bath in pale purple someday, so I'm very open to non-purple colors for this bathroom.)<br />
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Also, like I said, we don't want to pay to replace fixtures or anything else in the bathroom, though I'd be willing to consider swapping out the mirror if the new color deeply exacerbated its green undertones in an ugly way. The gray blind is definitely not going anywhere since it's brand new, and ideally we'd like to keep the lizard in there as decor as well, though if it clashes horribly it can be relocated, and like I said, we'll add a few other things to the walls eventually too.<br />
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So! Please tell me your bathroom paint color opinions. What color? Bright? Dark? What colors are your own bathrooms painted, and what do you like or not like about it?Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-38116117995541120632015-09-23T07:00:00.000-06:002015-09-23T07:00:04.587-06:00Bugged. Except Callum. Hmph.I'm starting to think that Callum is... well, not quite immune, but generally very mildly affected... by stomach bugs. And also, I kind of hate him for it because I WANT THAT SUPERPOWER and I decidedly do NOT have it, and neither does Torsten, or, evidently, Annika.<br />
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We got a bug last year on the day after Annika's first birthday (SUCH A DELIGHT) and Callum did barf a couple times, but then was totally fine, while Annika barfed a lot more and then had gross diapers for DAYS, and Torsten and I were also flattened out, as were my parents and <a href="http://innerteub.wordpress.com/">Liz</a> and her family (THANKS FOR NOTHING, stomach bug that appears 12 hours after a birthday party!).<br />
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Annika was patient zero with this one, barfing many times in succession one evening last week. We kept her home from school the next day, but she seemed totally fine, had normal diapers, and was perfectly cheerful, so we started to wonder if maybe it was just a fluke? She barfed again the next day and again after school the day after that but I think that was just because she is sort of sensitive and barfy generally and her irritated stomach couldn't handle a) lactose (the first aftershock puke) or b) drinking milk right before a car ride (the second aftershock puke).<br />
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So... Annika barfed, then was more or less fine, then 72 hours passed, then we started thinking that it really HAD just been a fluke because 72 hours is a long window for nobody else to get sick, so we started thinking that maybe we were home free... and that was our fatal mistake, because RIGHT after we started thinking that, Torsten woke up in the middle of the night to barf. Then he was down for the count alllll day, while Callum and I were still fine. But then the middle of the next night... BAM. My turn! WOE. So much woe!<br />
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(Side note: I DO actually kind of prefer to get a stomach bug about once every year just to maintain some baseline level of immunity? Like, the first stomach bug we ever got, when Callum was a baby, was MISERABLE. Like, the only time in my life when I've ever seriously doubted our decision to have children, because it was so so terrible and NOTHING was worth that level of pain. The next stomach bug we got, about a year later, was also miserable but not QUITE as bad. And since then, we've gotten about one every 10-12 months and while they are always deeply unpleasant, nothing has ever matched anything like those first couple, and it is my working theory that it is because we have some level of immunity left that takes the edge off it. So, if that's the tradeoff, I would rather get one about that often just to maintain the immunity. However, that doesn't make it any more pleasant when it actually shows up. I have not yet learned the zen art of being like, "ah yes, we were due, this is really a good thing, so welcome, hellish gastroenteritis!")<br />
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Anyway, so, Callum remained almost totally fine the whole time. He did have a couple of very very mild symptoms, so mild that if the rest of us had not been afflicted I wouldn't have even thought twice about them, but that was IT. He was never miserable, he never barfed, he ate and slept and played normally, and all was well. We did keep him home from school on Monday out of an abundance of caution of not wanting him to infect his classmates (and also because Octonauts makes an excellent, if occasional, babysitter) but as he remained totally fine, he headed back to school yesterday.<br />
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The rest of us have now also recovered and are feeling totally normal again, but I'm still a little jealous of my own child for his seeming immunity to such a horrible disease. I keep reminding myself that maybe someday he'll have kids and this will be the most useful skill ever and his spouse will lie in bed moaning between barfs while thanking god for a husband who is impervious to stomach bugs and can handle the kids. So... maybe in thirty years? I'll stop shooting daggers at my kid with my eyes for his incredible luck.<br />
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Just, please please please let this once a year schedule stick. The thought of them coming more often than not is currently what's keeping me awake at night.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-53564581033330653852015-09-16T07:01:00.000-06:002015-09-16T07:01:00.254-06:00Parental visit and a new zooSo, as I mentioned, my parents drove out to see us last week. As they made a full road trip out of it, with lots of stops along the way, they ended up only staying with us for six days, which was very short, shorter than their usual visits and puzzlingly short for the kids, both of whom adore my parents. But we definitely made the most out of it, capped off with a visit to a zoo we'd never gone to before, the <a href="http://www.cmzoo.org/">Cheyenne Mountain Zoo</a> in Colorado Springs.<br />
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It turned out that we actually liked the CMZ better than the Denver zoo... it's built right on the side of a mountain so there's some uphill walking involved, but the views are stunning and they have a lot of animals, most (though unfortunately not all) of which seem to have great, roomy habitats. Callum loved the zoo and didn't complain at all about all the walking (according to my pedometer about 7,000 steps and three miles altogether) and was generally a total delight. Annika liked the animals too, and was surprisingly content to stay in her stroller (I think part of this is that a lot of the exhibits can be easily seen from the ground level thanks to glass enclosures etc., which is an improvement over the Denver zoo where you have to do a lot of lifting up of little kids to see things).<br />
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We especially enjoyed the very first exhibit, giraffes where you could buy lettuce to feed them. Callum was super nervous about feeding the giraffes at first but did eventually work up the courage to try it and ended up thinking it was hilarious to see the giraffe use its giant tongue to gently remove the lettuce from his hand. Also, the nice thing was that the giraffes were so into the food that they were totally willing to get up close and personally and make friends, much to Torsten's benefit.<br />
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We also saw three lion cubs sleeping in a very cuddly adorable pile on top of each other, penguins brushed goats in the petting zoo, and rode the antique carousel. It was a really lovely outing and also a reminder of how our kids are starting to get to an age where they are functional non-babies who can be taken out and about with fairly minimal fuss, and honestly, that is a delight (like I said last time, I swear I will write an actual post on this topic soon).<br />
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The rest of the visit was also just lovely. My parents are great with our kids (they have stayed with them a couple times while Torsten and I <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/05/new-favorite-place-isla-mujeres.html">have traveled</a> <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2012/09/back-in-game.html">on our own</a>, which has been delightful for all of us) and thanks to the magic of weekly FaceTime, they really KNOW my kids and my kids know them despite only seeing them once every few months. Both kids wanted to hang out with them all the time, and Annika actually wept for "Grandma Bapa" when I took her upstairs for naptime.<br />
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All in all, it was adorable, and too short. But they'll be back for Christmas, a fact which we will not forget, thanks to Callum reminding us at least twice every day.<br />
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-46118028243071744722015-09-14T10:23:00.001-06:002015-09-14T10:23:54.637-06:00CleansedI haven't read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing/dp/1607747308">that KonMari book</a> yet, though I did purchase it (on my Kindle! Because no clutter!) and started reading it, and actually was interested and meant to keep reading, but then switched to my book club book and forgot to go back. And our house still has a lot of clutter and spaces to organize. But! On my maternity leave with Annika, I had some sort of delayed nesting instinct kick in and did a LOT of organizing. I ended up with bags and bags of stuff to donate. Lots of too-small baby clothes (I counted OVER ONE HUNDRED pairs of baby girl pants, which is especially amazing since Annika never wore pants as a baby), lots of too-big women's clothing, lots of stuff in great condition that we just never use before. So I bagged it all up and... promptly stored it in a closet. Because, well, I didn't know what to do with it.<br />
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But, with Annika climbing out of her crib and us getting ready to move her into her big girl room, we ended up going through the last couple of spots in the house that I hadn't organized (namely, the closets in the nursery and in Torsten's office). Torsten's office was pretty much where all our crap went to die, and it was a LOT to go through. It took a few weeks of a bit at a time, but we did go through tons and tons of stuff and organize it and get rid of a lot of it. Then I dragged everything to donate down to the basement, where it sat in a HUGE pile, glaring at me while I worked every day.<br />
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But then! My parents came to visit, and they made a road trip out of it, which meant they showed up with their giant minivan, so I actually had an opportunity to get rid of a bunch of stuff. I itemized and photographed it all first for tax deduction purposes, which actually didn't take as long as I would expect, and I set aside a few big pieces of baby gear that we paid a lot of money for and that weren't worth all that much as a tax deduction to sell, and then my parents and I filled their minivan with all the bags and boxes of stuff and drove it off to Goodwill for someone else to enjoy and benefit from. And lo, it was a lot, and lo, my house is so much emptier, and lo, it is all delightful and I am happy.<br />
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I then photographed the baby gear and listed it all on Craigslist and the first thing to sell was the crib. It is now gone, out of our house. Annika is peacefully sleeping in <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/06/big-girl-room.html">her new room</a> (which is not entirely set up yet--she is still on a floor bed until she learns to stop falling out, and there's a bookshelf we still need to assemble, and we haven't done the decor yet, but once all those things come together I will photograph it all to share), everyone is in a big-kid bed, and the era of cribs in our lives has ended. And I didn't even feel sad watching it go out of our house. I mostly felt good that the crib, which is still in great condition minus some teething marks from Callum (THANKS KID), is going to be used by another baby. And hopefully that baby will sleep as well in there as both of our kids did.<br />
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In the meantime, onwards and upwards! Our baby phase is over and we are both supremely content for that, as we are both bigger kid people naturally (more about this in a separate post eventually). Lots of crap is out of our house, and now it's time for me to get back to that book and then start getting rid of other stuff that takes up space but that hasn't actually been designated as crap to get rid of just yet. Because there is a lot more. And the relaxing feeling that comes from getting shit you don't need out of your house, and passing it on to someone who may actually benefit from it, is unmatchable.<br />
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It's interesting... I was naturally neat as a kid and then went majorly downhill in college (I blame my freshman roommate, who was an absolute delight and is still a friend but was a total slob and brought me down with her), and as an adult I kept slobby habits for a long time and over the last few years have been very slowly climbing my way out of that hole, one habit at a time. By now our house is actually generally neat most of the time. We keep on top of the dishwasher. We vacuum regularly. We put laundry away as soon as it comes out of the dryer. And our closets are not stuffed full of crap. The ticket to this has been to set up organizational systems and stick to them. But, there are still a lot of places where we don't have a good enough system in place, or have slipped out of the habit of using it. Our pantry was beautifully organized and is now starting to slip. Same with our toy shelf, Torsten's workbench, and our upstairs hall and linen closets. Those are where I want to start. But I also want to get rid of a lot of stuff that has a place, but is never used and doesn't actually need to be here. That's the next step. Because I've learned that my overall stress level is much lower when things are neat and not cluttered, and Torsten feels the same. And we are getting there, one step at a time.<br />
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In the meantime, bye-bye stuff:<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-91294872970035217302015-09-04T11:36:00.006-06:002015-09-04T11:40:11.575-06:00Germany vs. the U.S.: A Scorecard<div>
Torsten has lived in the U.S. for 10 years now, and while he continues to love it here and we plan to live here forever, it feels like the more distance he gets from his time in Germany, the more he appreciates some of the things Germany offers that the U.S. doesn't. On <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/08/kaiserslautern-cuxhaven-and-cologne.html">our most recent trip to Germany</a>, it seemed like he was wistfully pointing out quite a few areas where the U.S. falls short. To be fair, he had a point on all of those topics. But, we also noticed a few things where the U.S. actually comes out ahead. To that point, some thoughts on the advantages of each (note that these are all small, practical things, not questions about, like, government and life philosophy or anything).</div>
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<b>Highways</b></div>
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Until I met Torsten, I thought that the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autobahn">autobahn</a> was the name of one particular special road in Germany that didn't have a speed limit. I have since been enlightened: autobahn basically means interstate, and it refers to the entire federal highway system in Germany, which crosses the entire country with a ton of different roads, and large sections of most of them don't have speed limits. There are limits when you go through more urban areas, more dangerous/difficult to navigate areas, construction zones, etc. But otherwise, no speed limits. People routinely drive well over 100 mph. As a result, the "slower drivers keep right" policy is strictly enforced, and you pretty much never see someone pass on the right. I would say that 100 MPH was my comfort zone on our road trip--any faster than that made me feel edgy, and Torsten agreed. Certainly it made the road trip go by faster--we covered 400 miles in under seven hours including multiple stops with two little kids. The traffic patterns were orderly, and the rest stops were multiple steps above what you can usually find in the U.S. </div>
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<i>Winner: Germany</i></div>
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<b>Parking Garages</b></div>
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People in Europe generally drive small cars. The <a href="http://www.vw.com/models/golf/">VW Golf</a> is by far the most popular car in Germany. SUVs exist, but are rare, and even those that you see are generally smaller than their U.S. counterparts. This has some benefits (and is helpfully on narrow roads built hundreds of years ago), but also, the German obsession with small cars and efficient use of space has led to the construction of some of the most insane parking garages I've ever seen. Even in Torsten's dad's VW Golf, which is a tiny car, we had a lot of trouble squeezing into spots even though the lines were clear. Getting the kids out of the back seat (even though the Golf had four doors) in those parking garages was near impossible. The turns on the ramps to get from one level to the next were terrifyingly tight, and if a car was coming the other way, watch out. I don't know what anyone in a minivan would even DO. Coming back to U.S parking garages where cars fit in spaces and nobody's back breaks trying to maneuver a kid out of a car was like a huge sigh of relief. (And that's before you even think about the amazing parking garage I saw in Santa Fe where every parking space had a red or green light over it indicating availability and there was a counter telling you how many free spaces there were and in what direction when you got to each floor, because THAT was magical.)</div>
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<i>Winner: U.S.</i></div>
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<b>Grocery Stores</b></div>
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U.S. grocery stores aren't bad. And we have a lot of variety in type of grocery store (standard such as Kroger/King Soopers, Trader Joes, Whole Foods, etc.). But German grocery stores are something else. They have amazing bakeries in-house, with certified bakers who had to do extended apprenticeships to learn how to bake. They have full-on butchers. They have amazing fresh meat and dairy. And it's all significantly less expensive than a comparable quality of grocery in the U.S. would be. My in-laws went to the grocery store and bought many pounds of delicious, top-quality meat to grill for our six-person (four-adult) group and paid a total of... 12 Euros. Also, the butcher shop in Germany is still a major thing. I would loooove a local butcher around here, but sadly that's just a pipe dream.</div>
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<i>Winner: Germany</i></div>
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<b>King Beds</b></div>
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German king beds are actually two twin mattresses attached to one headboard, each with their own twin-sized blanket or duvet. I know that some people actually prefer that, but I don't know WHY they prefer that, because it is awful. I'm certain that I'm being completely objective here, but no no NOPE. First of all, a crack down the middle of the bed is just not pleasant or necessary. What does it ACHIEVE? Torsten and I are both kind of sprawly sleepers who drape on each other a bit, especially when we first go to bed and are in the process of falling asleep, and having a giant crack in the bed makes our usual falling-asleep positions completely impossible. Second, I know that neither of us is a small person, but the twin-sized duvet thing is seriously for the birds. I love one giant king size blanket for us because there's plenty of blanket to go around, nobody is hogging, and there's no cold air getting in the sides because it's so big and drapey. A twin-size duvet with no extra overhang does not cover me, especially if I'm lying on my side, and drape nicely down to the sides of the bed to prevent air from getting in. Do not like. </div>
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<i>Winner: U.S.</i></div>
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<b>Christmas</b></div>
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OK, even I can acknowledge that this one is purely subjective. And it's not even so much about Germany vs. the U.S. (though partly that) as it is about family traditions. My family typically makes a big deal out of Christmas--big Christmas morning, Santa and the stockings, a huge roast beef dinner, etc. Torsten's family is much lower-key. Also, in Germany Christmas is celebrated with the dinner and the gift exchange on December 24, and <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2010/10/santa-baby.html">Santa comes on St. Nicholas Day</a>, which is December 6. So it's all just more spread out and felt, at least to me, very muted. <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2013/01/home-again.html">It was still lovely</a>, and I have no complaints about having done it that way, and also, Germany has amazing Christmas markets, but as a general rule I personally prefer Christmas American-style. It was very weird not to have a real Christmas morning, especially. However, I recognize that this is a serious case of personal taste and that other people would prefer the German way, so I am not going to call this fight.</div>
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<i>Winner: Tie</i></div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-49209190204282955852015-08-28T07:01:00.000-06:002015-08-28T07:01:00.303-06:00We live in such a cool placeOK, fine, this particular cool place is more like 1.5 hours away from where we live, but whatever. Isn't it cool that you can get in the car and before anyone even has time to fall asleep, you can be at THIS? "This" being <a href="http://www.nps.gov/romo/index.htm">Rocky Mountain National Park</a>, where <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2010/10/rocky-mountain-high.html">we've been</a> <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/duwaxloolu/sets/72157630503907286">before</a>--and previous times we took our nice camera and got lots of amazing pictures--whereas this time we left the big camera at home because it's so bulky, so the photos below are from a whole bunch of different phones and more portable cameras.<br />
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My host family was blown away--they are total country/mountain people so all of Colorado was really their jam, unlike New York, where they spent a day at the end of their trip and were less than impressed. But RMNP pretty much impresses everyone... it's so beautiful and the altitude is high enough that you really feel it and it makes you feel pretty badass.<br />
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We got lucky with the animals, too--before we even got in the park we saw two moose, a mother and baby, which was super exciting for all of us because none of us had ever seen a moose before. Further in the park we also saw marmots, prairie dogs, elk, and a deer and fawn. My host family was also very impressed by the chipmunks--I guess it doesn't take much!<br />
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We happened to be there during the brief annual window when <a href="http://www.nps.gov/romo/planyourvisit/old_fall_river_road.htm">Old Fall River Road</a> was open, so we drove that, which was fun and only slightly daunting (but totally safe at slow speeds) with the hairpin curves, narrow road, and lack of guardrails, but worth it for the lovely views. We also took a couple short walks, including one up to 12,000 feet for panoramic views (Annika climbed all the stairs--probably 200-300 steps--all by herself), but sadly we did not have time to do the hikes around a couple lakes that we had planned for the eastern side of the park. We spent a total of maybe six hours in the park, and it was not nearly enough. We'll go back soon.<br />
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-1540015722980703512015-08-26T10:04:00.001-06:002015-10-08T12:26:04.147-06:00It's only preschool, and yetI've briefly <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/05/documentation.html">mentioned</a> <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/06/state-of-kiddos-volume-1.html">a couple</a> <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/07/newsflash-reentry-is-hard.html">times</a> that Callum is changing schools this year, but I haven't gone into a lot of detail. I have a couple personal policies about where I draw the line as far as protecting my kids' privacy when writing about them online, and one of those lines is that I try not to share identifying details about exactly where they spend their time, which also means not sharing very specific details about their schools. That makes this topic hard to write about, and means that I can't go into a lot of detail about the exact reasoning of the decision, but I'm going to try to cover it anyway.<br />
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(I will also say that this was a very complicated decision for us with a lot of complex factors involved, and I am more than happy to discuss it in detail individually, so if you DO want to know more, feel free to reach out. I have also learned a lot about the Denver public school system, which has been very helpful.)<br />
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Anyway! The gist is that Callum attended a private preschool for the previous two school years. It was a small school with only a few kids in his class, and he had a wonderful teacher (the same for both years). The school was an obvious choice for us because it offered a particular educational element that was important to us personally, and it was always our plan to keep him there for his full three years of preschool, and then look elsewhere starting at kindergarten, because at that point the private school would just be too small (only a couple kids per grade in the whole school). The school could be frustrating to work with on the administrative side, as is common with small schools, but Callum loved his teacher (and so did we), he was happy and thriving at the school, and we really enjoyed the community.<br />
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And then in the middle of the year last year, we learned about a preschool program in a nearby public school, and decided to apply just to see if Callum might happen to get a spot. We put him into the Denver Public Schools lottery for a slot back in January and then kind of buried our heads in the sand and did not discuss the decision, figuring it was a waste of time until we found out if he got a slot (there is more demand for public preschool in Denver than there is supply, so a slot was far from guaranteed).<br />
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Then, in March, we were notified that Callum had indeed drawn a slot at the public school, and we had to make a decision. We did a bunch of research, including extensive observation and conversations with the principal and teachers at the public school, and ultimately decided that it seemed like a really great school that would suit Callum very well, even though it did not offer the particular educational element that was the draw for us at his previous, private preschool. There are a few public elementary schools in our area that seem really great, and we feel lucky to have the options that we do, but this school in particular really stood out to us for its approach to teaching and to community, and for the incredibly high quality of its teachers. It is not our neighborhood school, which means that if we want to keep him there next year, we will have to put him back into the lottery for kindergarten, because DPS does a fresh lottery at each "transition" year (kindergarten, sixth grade, and ninth grade). But as an existing student of this school, he will have priority in the lottery after all the neighborhood kids are placed, so he has a high chance of getting to stay there, which was a major reason why we decided to take the slot this year rather than waiting a year and trying again.<br />
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Deciding to change schools was hard! Callum's old preschool program was so small that we were worried about the effect on the school of losing a student, and we also loved his teacher there and hated to lose out on a year with her, plus we were concerned about losing the particular educational element (which we are trying to make up for on our own now, which I have faith that we can do but definitely creates a bit more of a challenge), and we loved the community and had lots of friends there, plus Callum was just so happy and relaxed at that school, so used to it, so familiar, it gave him a lot of confidence, and we felt bad shaking things up in that way. But, we knew it was the right decision, so we powered through the hard part and now the transition is more or less done. And we've been managing lots of playdates with his friends (and ours) from his old school, so hopefully we'll be able to maintain those connections despite the distance.<br />
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Callum has been nervous about the new school all summer, but back to school night helped, and on his first day he did great. He ran ahead of me into the building, showed me where his classroom was, looked through all the cubbies until he found the one with his name written on it, proudly hung up his backpack, and cheerfully said goodbye. When I picked him up after school, he was bubbling over with enthusiasm about how he liked his teachers and his classmates, he played with the dollhouse and the water table, he ate lunch in the cafeteria, he read books with his teachers, and he drew pictures of himself and Annika. When I asked him what his favorite thing was he said "everything!" and when I asked him if he was excited to go back the next day he shouted "yes!" So, seems like a good start. Yesterday was similarly easy, and today's drop-off as well... plus yesterday at pickup his teachers came over to tell me how great he is, how sweet and fun, and how much they love having him in the class, so that was really nice to hear. It's also been reassuring for me because the teachers have talked to me about very specific things about him and described his day in great detail, and it's easy to see that they are already getting to know him well after just two days, and that's lovely to see.<br />
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So overall, it's been a win! We will see how the rest of the year goes, but I have the deep-down conviction that we made the right choice, so hopefully that will help us get over any bumps in the road.<br />
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And here he is on his first day. My big, brave boy.<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-39491444315769487082015-08-19T09:27:00.003-06:002015-08-19T14:31:18.828-06:00Quiet houseEr, so, I make a little blogging comeback and then I <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/08/international-house-of-cool-round-2.html">have a few house guests</a> and totally disappear and, well, whoops. I've been trying to blog once a week, minimum, and last week was the first week I was in town and didn't blog. Alas. Back on the wagon!<br />
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My French host family left last night, and things are feeling oddly quiet around here now. They were DELIGHTFUL guests... in addition to just being fun and lovely, they are also incredibly helpful. During the two weeks they were here, they:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Weeded our swing set mulch and tree beds</li>
<li>Cleaned our patio</li>
<li>Washed and folded tons of laundry</li>
<li>Climbed very high on a ladder to remove a lot of dead branches from our ailing willow and then cut them into firewood</li>
<li>Cleaned our gutters</li>
<li>Fixed our broken refrigerator water dispenser</li>
<li>Figured out how to remove and replace our dishwasher filter that we've been trying to fix for years</li>
<li>Helped us empty Torsten's office and haul furniture so that it could be painted for when it becomes <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2015/06/big-girl-room.html">Annika's new room</a> shortly</li>
<li>Kept the house sparkling clean</li>
<li>Cooked many delicious meals</li>
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I swear, I don't expect or request this type of thing from my guests... but they are the types who like to keep busy and are super handy around the house, and they saw things that needed doing and just... DID them. It's a rare guest who leaves your house in better shape than they found it, and man, it was just what we needed after what's been a slightly crazy summer.</div>
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In addition to putting them to work, we also went out and about with them quite a bit, including a trip to Rocky Mountain National Park that I'll post about separately, a visit to Pikes Peak, some day trips around Denver, a Rockies game (my host brother plays baseball so they were our first foreign guests who actually understand baseball and enjoyed the game), multiple delicious restaurants, and lots of shopping. </div>
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It was delightful, truly, and I miss them already. Who would have thought that 14 years later, we'd still be so close? Soon they'll have known me for half my life. Lucky, lucky.</div>
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-21949889947278815382015-08-07T12:38:00.000-06:002015-08-07T12:38:32.019-06:00International House of Cool, round 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
My host family (well, part of it) from when I studied abroad in France in high school is currently here visiting me, and it's delightful. This is their third time visiting us (first <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2007/10/snowshoes.html">one of my host brothers came to visit us in DC</a>, and then <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2008/10/enfin.html">my host parents and my other host brother came to our wedding</a>) and their first time coming to Denver as their last two visits took place when we were living in DC. It's nice because for the first time we actually have a house with a guest room and so we can accommodate multiple guests (when it was just my host brother visiting, he stayed on a mattress on the floor of the living room of our apartment,--where <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2007/10/clarification-and-update.html">he accidentally saw Torsten naked</a>--and when three of them came for our wedding, they stayed at a hotel).</div>
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This time, all three of them are here at our house! They're sleeping in proper bedrooms and they have a bathroom all to themselves! We have cars, even, where we can drive them around! It's all super convenient! And it makes me feel like such a grown-up. I met them when I was 17, so I've known them for close to half my life now, and of course they saw me through all of my young adulthood, you know, dorms and apartments and visits on the cheap and so forth, and now here I am, with a house and a mortgage and a husband and two kids and a dog and multiple cars and, you know, just all very Norman Rockwell. It's a big change, but it's nice.<br />
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Anyway, long-time readers (er, VERY long-time... as what I'm about to reference happened almost EIGHT YEARS AGO my goodness) may remember that when my host brother Yohan came to visit, we started calling our apartment the <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2007/10/international-house-of-cool.html">International House of Cool (IHC)</a> due to the concurrent German, French, and English that was ongoing. And now the IHC is back, but even MORE so, because now we have the kids so there's a lot more ongoing German speaking happening, plus more than one French person here so they frequently speak amongst themselves, plus I speak English with the kids and Torsten, so basically it's a huge mess of languages, which is very worldly but also very confusing, especially for those of us (Torsten, me, and the kids) who are bilingual and constantly switching back and forth.<br />
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Also, as an aside, Callum has been happily speaking only German with Torsten since we returned from Germany (before he would always try to respond in English), but the last couple days he's been trying to switch back to English. I think he's feeling overwhelmed by all the languages. I reminded him that now that he's been to Germany he speaks 4,000 German (his words) and at first he was like, "no, I only speak a little German," which is what he always used to say, but then he lit up and was like, "no, I speak 8,000 German! No, 90,000 German!" and then he said something to Torsten in German, so hopefully he just needed a little reminder...<br />
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Also, they've only been here a few days but the kids both took to them right away. My French host sister has two kids the exact same ages as ours, and it's like our kids can tell that these are people who love and understand them. Callum in particular has really taken to all of them. He can't pronounce their names so he just calls them all "the French people" and distinguishes them by the color of their clothing. He loves playing racecars with Emilien (my 16-year-old host brother) and last night he sat down on the couch with my host dad and had a cuddle. I mean. Can you even?<br />
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Also, Emilien plays baseball in France (very rare--they claim it's my influence even though he was only two when I lived with them my GOODNESS has it really been 14 years holy crap it HAS) but you can't find good baseball equipment in France and what you can find has to be ordered through a catalog so you can't try it out first, so I took them to Dick's Sporting Goods where he got himself a nice glove, bat, and helmet, plus pants and a belt, and he is extremely happy now. He was also deeply impressed by how they broke the glove in for him using their fancy steam machine. (He wants to play for the MLB eventually--which is hard from France because apparently scouts only go there once a year--but we'll see! We're taking him to see a Rockies game next week and we'll see how he feels about the MLB after that. Also, too bad the Rockies are terrible this year, like most years.)<br />
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And, they brought us all sorts of delicious forbidden French treats (sorry customs!). This isn't even all of them--there's also lots of homemade treats including jam, olive oil, lavender essence, and herbal alcohol:<br />
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Anyway, Torsten and I are working while they're here, so they've been entertaining themselves quite nicely--yesterday they took the light rail downtown and checked out the capitol, the mint, Union Station, the 16th Street Mall, and a couple of the museums, and today they drove themselves to Red Rocks to explore. This weekend I think we're going to take them to Rocky Mountain National Park, and next weekend to Colorado Springs to see Pikes Peak and Garden of the Gods. They're also going to do a three-day road trip next week to Arches National Park, Durango, and Great Sand Dunes National Park. As far as other activities, I've also suggested a day trip to Boulder. So that takes up most of their time, I think, but if they have additional free time, any thoughts from locals or people who've visited here on what in particular they should check out?<br />
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Also, I've been trying to introduce them to restaurants that serve things you can't find in France. We're going to take them to our favorite sushi place (they have sushi in France but not the fun crazy rolls you can get here), for BBQ, for Mexican, for Chinese, for top-quality burgers... what else? Any thoughts on stuff that is uniquely American that they should check out while they're here?Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-37396069502439615772015-08-03T07:01:00.000-06:002015-08-03T14:14:59.719-06:00Kaiserslautern, Cuxhaven, and Cologne<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hi! We've been home for over a week now, my children have stopped waking up at 6 a.m. (BLESS) and, relatedly, have also stopped being cranky and overtired in the evenings, the fog feels like it has lifted, and as a result I'm ready to talk about our actual trip to Germany, because it was amazing, truly, and deserves to be recapped.</div>
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We spent just over two weeks in Germany, including a few days at Torsten's parents' house near the small southwestern city of Kaiserslautern, then a week in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuxhaven">Cuxhaven</a> on the North Sea, a day in Cologne, and then a few more days at Torsten's parents' house to round out the trip. All destinations turned out to be fantastic.<br />
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I actually wasn't super excited about the trip--not because I thought it would be bad--but just because I was crazy with work and travel prep and also had the huge obstacle of taking two kids (one barfy) over the Atlantic ocean that kind of served as a mental block between me and the actual fun part of the trip. While I guess that means I lost out on some of the fun of anticipation, it had the unexpected result of making the trip itself actually quite delightful because I had no real expectations.<br />
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This was our first trip to Germany in the summertime, and it was lovely. Torsten's parents have a gorgeous yard and garden, complete with extraordinarily pleasant patio, and the city of Kaiserslautern is really lovely and has great restaurants. Between those and Torsten's mother's excellent cooking skills, we were extremely well fed. We took the kids to a garden show/water play park, on a rowboat on a nearby lake, to a local small-town carnival (where Torsten's beloved sunglasses of 10 years were lost in a tragic bumper car accident), and walking around downtown. It was all delightful, but honestly we were all just as happy at home, where the kids played in the yard, picked berries off their grandparents' plants (they got a good system going where Callum, who refuses to eat fruit, would pick the berries and hand them to Annika, who ate them as fast as he could pick them), played games, and had a great time with their grandparents.<br />
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The week in Cuxhaven was the biggest unknown for me. Torsten grew up going to Cuxhaven every year (he failed to mention to me that this was on the recommendation of his doctor, because apparently the incredible salt air of the North Sea is good for asthma--I don't know if it's true or not but I will say that Callum didn't need his albuterol at all during the week we were there, and did require it in Kaiserslautern), and has a combination of very fond memories of loving the location and bitterness over never getting to do all the expensive fancy stuff he wanted to do as a kid because his parents were very frugal about vacations.<br />
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So, he wanted to go back and do it properly, with a nice hotel with an oceanfront balcony, the renting of a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strandkorb">Strandkorb</a> (basically a fancy beach chair) right in front of the water line, and eating at delicious local seafood restaurants. I was on board with all of this, and we did do it all, but I was a little worried that it would fall short of his childhood dream and he would be disappointed. Add to that the fact that the North Sea isn't always known for its nice weather, as I learned first-hand when Torsten <a href="http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2007/11/nordseekrabben.html">brought me there once IN NOVEMBER</a> (OMG COLD OMG COLD), and I was a little concerned that the trip might be a bust.<br />
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But, not to worry, it absolutely was not. It turned out to be completely amazing and ideal for families with little kids. Torsten's parents came along (though they stayed in a different hotel) and that worked out great. We rented two side-by-side strandkörbe for the week, right in front by the ocean. We bought beach toys for the kids, including a hardcore metal shovel for Callum. We got lucky with the weather, too--it wasn't exactly hot, but it was sunny all but one day (we spent that day at an awesome indoor wave pool with a fantastic baby area where both kids were completely delighted), and we were able to spend all but that one day at the beach, which apparently is never a given at the North Sea, even in July. The hotel also had a fantastic pool, where we went every afternoon after we finished at the beach, much to the kids' delight (also the only way we could convince them to leave the beach).<br />
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Side note about Cuxhaven: it is located on a part of the North Sea called the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wadden_Sea">Wadden Sea</a>, which is an intertidal zone known for its tidelands and mud flats (called "watt" in German)--basically, it's super super flat, so when the tide goes out, it goes out really far, for literal miles, and people can walk out on the watt to explore. You can also take a horse-drawn carriage over the watt at low tide to visit a nearby island, Neuwerk. The watt can be dangerous, though, because when the tide comes in, it comes in fast, and people can get caught out too far. To that end, there are rescue towers built pretty far out from the shoreline for people to climb if they get caught out by the tide.<br />
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The beauty of this for little kids is that for an hour or two at high tide, there's water to splash and play in, and for the rest of the day, it's just stretches of wet sand, which is ideal for kids. Ours basically spent the entire week building sandcastles and digging holes. AND, even better for us, they did this with their grandparents while Torsten and I lounged in our strandkorb and read. Lazy parenting WIN. Also, Callum's German EXPLODED during this trip, which was amazing to watch and really validating after the incredible effort that we've made to teach him German, and was also great for his relationship with his grandparents, since they don't really speak English.<br />
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We also took the wattwagen out to Neuwerk Island one day, which was fantastic (side note: there are lots of horses in Cuxhaven and they walked by our hotel multiple times a day, and Annika came home from that trip obsessed with horses--every time she heard hooves outside, she would go sprinting to the balcony yelling HORSIE). And we ate incredible amounts of delicious food. (Callum, picky eater extraordinaire, even ate an entire <a href="http://www.carina-forum.com/ricette/meat/macinato/0000010_en.php">fleischkäse</a> sandwich one day--miracle of miracles.) Truly, it was great, and Torsten is totally validated, because we will definitely go back there the next time we're in Germany in the summer (hopefully two years from now).<br />
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We left early on the way back in order to spend the day in Cologne (fun fact: the German name for the city of Cologne is actually Köln), where we explored the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cologne_Cathedral">famous cathedral</a>, walked through the amazing central shopping district (and yes, OK, bought a few things, including a German stuffed horse for Annika), and had two incredible meals.<br />
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We spent the last few days of the trip back at Torsten's parents' house, going into Kaiserslautern a couple times but mostly lounging around and visiting with Torsten's friends and family. Putting the Cuxhaven trip right in the middle of our two-week visit really made the whole trip short... it was stunning how quickly it felt like it was already time to go home. We were genuinely sad to leave. On the plus side: next time we plan this trip, I will definitely be excited in advance. I already am, and it's two years away.<br />
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-15172789629579492652015-07-29T11:53:00.003-06:002015-07-29T11:57:08.254-06:00Newsflash: Reentry is hardHi! We're back from Germany! And actually have been for a few days now. The trip was amazing, and I will post all about it, with photos, and also potentially some thoughts about things that Germany does better and worse than the U.S., once I collect myself, but in the meantime, I'm here to say that hi! Jet lag with kids? SUCKS.<br />
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There's an eight-hour time difference between Denver and Germany, and eight hours is a LOT. The jet lag when we got to Germany was actually fine. The trip over was not easy (thanks primarily to Annika's plane barf habit), but both kids did end up sleeping 5-6 hours on the transatlantic flight, and I got a couple hours of sleep as well, so that was good. We landed in the morning, got to Torsten's parents' house at lunchtime, ate lunch, and then all four of us went for a four-hour nap. We set an alarm to not nap too long, woke up shortly before dinner time, powered through the evening, then went to bed at a normal time, got up the next morning, and were pretty much adjusted. This is the strategy we always use when we go to Europe, and it works very well for us.<br />
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Returning, though. Well. It's just harder from the start because the flight back is a daytime flight, so no sleep, and then we got home late (10:30 p.m.) and everyone was totally exhausted (Callum literally fell asleep on the floor of the airport waiting for an elevator) and we packed both kids off to bed and had high hopes that they would sleep late the next morning despite the time difference because they were just SO TIRED, having been awake for like 20 hours straight, but no dice.<br />
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Callum woke up screaming at 3 a.m. that first night back because we had put him to bed in his clothes and he wanted pajamas. He went right back to sleep, but not before his screaming woke Annika, who took forever to settle and then woke twice more over the next hour. She finally passed out for real at 4:30 a.m., only to be awakened again, and that time for the day, by Callum screaming at 6:45 a.m. These are kids who typically sleep til 8 or 8:30, so 6:45 is early, even before you calculate that it was only about nine hours of sleep for them (compared to their usual 12 hours at night) after being awake for WAY too long.<br />
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Torsten and I were both also exhausted from the long travel, our own jet lag, and the multiple overnight wakeups. That first day back was a total blur. We did end up putting both kids down for naps (Callum hasn't napped in over a year) and then having to wake them from dead stupors at 5 p.m. so that they would go to bed normally. Everyone was basically an exhausted zombie the whole day. You know how parents complain about the havoc that Daylight Saving Time wreaks? It was like that, times eight. BLARGH.<br />
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Things have been a little better since then... the overnight wakeups have stopped, thank goodness, though the kids have continued to wake up earlier than usually (around 7 most days, though one day at 6, and also, it's only Callum who's woken on his own and then awakened his sister and HEY CALLUM YOU ARE FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLD PLEASE LEARN TO NOT SHOUT AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS THE SECOND YOUR EYES OPEN).<br />
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But the early wakeups and general disaster that is vacation reentry and trying to get back to a normal routine after two and a half weeks of doting grandparents and nonstop Mommy and Daddy time have just meant that we've all been off, and cranky, Callum especially. He's limit testing, overtired, and generally a barrel of laughs right now. Add to that that back to school is looming and he's feeling understandably anxious about his transition to a new school, and things are just... tiring around here right now.<br />
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But! Germany was wonderful, and the jet lag will pass eventually, and Torsten and I are legit excited about Callum's new school and I know that Callum will be too once he becomes familiar with it, and at least we're all sleeping through the night now.<br />
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So! You see why I need some time to collect myself. But I will! And then there will be photos and anecdotes and hey, I actually really love Germany. And I think we have a solid plan in place with my in-laws where we will visit them every other year and they will visit us at least that often as well, so at least it'll be two more years before we have to deal with this kind of jet lag again.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.com1