2018: The year of baby steps

(Previous years: 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007)  

1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?
Sent both my kids on an unaccompanied flight (transatlantic, no less). Got super involved in public school politics and advocacy. Got an IUD stuck (!) and had to have a camera-guided procedure to get it out. Had my basement flood (twice!). Started down the path of managing ADHD in my kiddos. Started a real, habitual, extensive skincare routine (and stuck with it). Helped my child participate in feeding therapy. Took a solo trip to Hawaii (mostly for work, but still). Read 214 books. Have my kid figure out the truth about Santa et al., and then help participate in creating the magic for his sister. 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year I said, "I'd like to make some progress toward financial recovery from quite a few large unexpected expenses that we incurred this year, and I'd like to be more on top of keeping my photos organized." We did make some financial progress, but not as much as I'd liked, and I did get some of my photos organized, but not nearly all of them, so overall I'd say this was kind of a wash. For next year I'd like to stick to a more detailed budget as a family, and get some of the messy spaces in our house organized.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A very good friend from college.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico. Domestically, I went to Washington DC, Baltimore, Oahu, Maine, Durham (NC), and Charleston (SC).

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
A president I trust. More financial organization. 

7. What moments from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Some moments related to figuring out kid mental health and support type stuff, some moments related to seeing our country take atrocious actions against vulnerable populations (oh hey I just noticed I said something very similar last year, how charming), Montana getting clear scans at her oncology follow-ups, some decisions I made for myself around my own health stuff, our absolutely incredible family trip to Maine and how FUN and relaxing it was (first time our kids have been old enough for us to really feel that way about a family vacation), my friends continuing to show up, over and over, in real, meaningful, complicated, loving ways.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
To my own surprise, my answer here is parenting-related for the second year in a row. Both our kids needed a lot from us this year as we tried to figure out their ADHD and associated challenges and support them in a balanced way. It was really tricky and demanded a lot from us in terms of both emotional as well as tangible resources, and certainly we don't have the whole thing perfected yet, but I do feel like I came through for my whole family on mental health and support this year, and we are all thriving, and I feel really good about that.

9. What was your biggest failure?
A fair bit of unnecessary guilt and self-blame. I was going to say that I should have implemented more financial organization measures sooner, but seeing the first point, I'm going to try to let go of that idea and just be glad we're in a good place now.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major (and nobody was hospitalized this year!), but it was definitely a year of working on family mental health stuff, which was both time-consuming and pricey.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets. Do health care services count as a purchase? A couple pieces of art from some of our favorite places that we really treasure every time we look at them.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I'm stealing last year's answer, because apparently last year I was feeling very articulate. On a micro level: Torsten's, like every year. He has done a ton of hard work and our whole family is benefitting. On a macro level: All the people who've stepped up to counter the appalling words and actions of our government by helping each other, supporting each other, protesting, donating, voting, and resisting.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My answer from the last two years still stands: People who are irrationally and unconsciously (or consciously, for that matter) motivated by white identity and perceived threat to their desired world order. This year I'll put a finer point on it: All the people who've seen Trump do every horrible thing we expected and then some, and continue to support him.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Same answer for the seventh straight year: our mortgage and childcare, and I will keep last year's addition of health care.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our family. The work we did to make sure everyone's needs are met and they are thriving. Democrats taking over the house, and the door-knocking I did to unseat a Republican Congressman in a nearby district seeing results.

16. What song will always remind you of 2018?
No Tears Left to Cry by Ariana Grande

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) About the same
b) Thinner
c) Poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I'm gonna repeat last year's answer: Sleeping. Working out. Volunteering.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Driving? Somehow there was so much driving. Going to Target and generally running tiny errands all the time. Possibly these two items are related.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Visiting my parents in North Carolina, followed by Torsten and me going to Charleston by ourselves for a few days while our kids stayed with my parents.

21. Did you fall in love in 2018?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program? 
I basically did not watch TV this year because I spent so much time reading, so I really don't know. I do have a long list of shows I'd like to check out in 2019, though.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Borrowing last year's answer: I'd say my hatred for evil, self-interested members of government has sharpened, if that counts.

24. What was the best book you read?
Real American by Julie Lythcott-Haims.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.

26. What did you want and get?
A happy family with a solid, comfortable life routine. 

27. What did you want and not get?
Like last year: A government that believes in the republic and cares about the people it represents (or any people, for that matter).

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Incredibles 2

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
It was a low-key day... we just went out for a casual dinner as a family, and it was lovely. I turned 34.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A trustworthy government. 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
This year I discovered shorts. They're amazing! Did you know? They're comfortable and they keep your legs so nice and cool. Why didn't someone tell me about these magical things earlier? Also, hoodies featured heavily this year.

32. What kept you sane?
Same as the last four years: My little family. My group of best friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm bad at this.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Immigration, income inequality, class warfare, general corruption?

35. Who did you miss?
Similar answer to the past nine years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away. 

36. Who was the best new person you met?
We met some great people this year, but in particular Callum made a close friend on his new soccer team, and his family is lovely as well, and they've been a great addition to our lives.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.
Feeling that the current circumstances are uniquely horrible is a privileged perspective, as this country has been treating vulnerable people like shit for centuries. Still, it's better to become woke late than never, and we can all do what we can to resist, even if it's not 100% of our effort 100% of the time.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.

Happy New Year, everybody!

2017: We're still standing, so far.

(Previous years: 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007)  

1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?
Had a child hospitalized in a foreign country. Took my kids to get pedicures. Lived under a wannabe autocrat. Took my kids to Paris. Treated (including paying for) my dog for cancer. Read 200 books. Had a child get stitches. Went to Puerto Vallarta, Belgium, and the Netherlands. Had my kid's preschool shut down with no notice and make off with our money. Taught both kids to ride a bike without training wheels. Hit my goal weight. Called my Senator's office more times than I can count. Sent my kid to overnight camp.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I was pretty general last year, and just said "I want to keep a good thing going with our routine, and do some travel." We did both of those things--I feel like our routine has really hit a groove and things are going very well as a family unit. And we did a whole bunch of travel. I'll call that a win. For next year, hm. I'd like to make some progress toward financial recovery from quite a few large unexpected expenses that we incurred this year, and I'd like to be more on top of keeping my photos organized.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
One of my best friends from college.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico, Germany, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands. Domestically, I visited Phoenix, Chicago, Virginia Beach, Durham (NC), Jacksonville, San Diego, Washington DC, and New Orleans.

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

A president who believes in the Constitution and cares about anyone other than himself.

7. What moments from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Most of the actual moments are negative (health-related), but the year itself was actually pretty good for us as a family. As far as specific moments: Getting a phone call from Annika's preschool that she had fallen and hit her head and the ambulance was on its way (she was fine, she just needed stitches, but they didn't do a great job conveying that). Callum being hospitalized in Germany and the doctor lecturing us that if we took him home on oxygen, we would be risking his life. Getting Montana's cancer diagnosis and having to tell Torsten about it, and watching him completely fall apart in response. More generally: Watching Torsten continue to step up to be there for our family and make sure all of us are in a good place. Taking an incredible family road trip where we drove more than 2,000 miles across Europe and the kids were absolute champs and it was an amazing family bonding experience. Watching our government take one atrocious action after another to harm vulnerable populations. Seeing how people and friends step up for each other and support each other in the face of terrible hardship.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I am far from a perfect parent, but I overall feel like my parenting this year was a win. I really managed to build on the work I did last year to be calmer, more intentional, and less yelling-prone. I've guided both my kids through some challenging shit, including some tough emotional stuff, and I really feel like I've succeeded at being there for them and supporting them. I also think we've managed to keep encouraging kindness and consideration and caring for others, which is especially important to us in the current political climate. There is a lot I could still improve, but I feel good about how far I've come.

9. What was your biggest failure?

This is a small thing, but I stopped keeping my five-year diary a few months ago, and I'm bummed about that and want to pick it back up. It was really good for me to take those couple minutes each night to process through what happened that day, and I'd like to get back to that.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I personally did not experience anything major, but it has been a tough (and expensive) medical year for the rest of the family. Callum was hospitalized for asthma, Annika got stitches in her forehead, Montana had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor and is now doing chemo, and Torsten had dental implants and an ER visit along with a couple ongoing chronic issues. Here's hoping for a healthier 2018 for all of us. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Plane tickets for the incredible travel we were able to do this year. Good health insurance. A couch, rug, and coffee table for our living room.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
On a micro level: Torsten's, like every year. He has done a ton of hard work and our whole family is benefitting. On a macro level: All the people who've stepped up to counter the appalling words and actions of our government by helping each other, supporting each other, protesting, donating, voting, and resisting.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My answer from last year still stands: People who are irrationally and unconsciously (or consciously, for that matter) motivated by white identity and perceived threat to their desired world order. This year I'll put a finer point on it: All the people who've seen Trump do every horrible thing we expected and then some, and continue to support him.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Same answer for the sixth straight year: our mortgage and childcare. This year I'll add health and dental expenses, both human and canine.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our family. The November and December elections and the hope that the current administration might actually not last forever, and that we may eventually be able to reverse some of their terrible policies. 

16. What song will always remind you of 2017?
I don't think there is one this year. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) About the same
b) Thinner
c) Poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I'm gonna repeat last year's answer: Sleeping. Working out. Volunteering.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Reading books written by men, specifically white men.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
My parents came to stay with us. Torsten and I left the kids with them for a few days while we went to New Orleans. We came back the day before Christmas Eve and had a laid-back Christmas with the six of us at home. 

21. Did you fall in love in 2017?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I watched very little TV this year, as I was very reading-focused. We did start watching Madam Secretary, which I like.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I'd say my hatred for evil, self-interested members of government has sharpened, if that counts.

24. What was the best book you read?
The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. 

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.

26. What did you want and get?
A happy family with a solid, comfortable life routine. A lot of travel. 

27. What did you want and not get?
A government that believes in the republic and cares about the people it represents (or any people, for that matter).

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Coco.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
It was low-key but pleasant. My parents were in town and I worked, then did errands to prepare for our trip to Mexico. We went out for dinner at my favorite restaurant and ate cake. I turned 33.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A healthier family. A trustworthy government. 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Dresses in the summer and skinny jeans with sweaters in winter. Rothys and boots and flip flops.

32. What kept you sane?
Same as the last three years: My little family. My group of best friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm bad at this.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Last year's answer still applies. I wrapped it up by saying that I was extremely concerned that 2017 was going to be significantly worse than 2016, and that's exactly what happened. Right now my concern is largely around the most vulnerable people in this country, specifically immigrants, women, people of color, and people living in poverty. The class warfare and xenophobia happening right now are beyond comprehension, and I can only pray that the backlash is immediate and fierce. 

35. Who did you miss?
Similar answer to the past eight years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away. 

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Hm. I don't think I made new friends this year. I'd say the best person is the director of Callum's soccer training program, who really understands him and has done incredible things for him (related to character development way more than soccer skills). 

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017.
Hope is a form of resistance. It is our job to help each other, and we can do that even in the worst of circumstances, and even if it's just in small ways, it makes a big difference. 

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.

Happy New Year, everybody!

2016: Good for me personally, terrible for... everyone else. And also the world. Which includes me, unfortunately. So... not an unmitigated success.

(Previous years: 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007)  

1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?
Sent my kid on a plane trip by himself. Took six work trips. Visited Michigan. Had a child hospitalized. Drove the 101. Helped my child learn to read. Dissected a squid. Went to therapy, and dumped a therapist. Bought my kids matching outfits. Filed a homeowners' insurance claim (due to a hailstorm). Wore a bright lip color. Caucused. Voted (and volunteered for) a woman for president. Sobbed over the results of a presidential election. Feared for our democracy.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year I said that I wanted to "buy a smaller 'real' camera that isn't quite so unwieldy and will be easier to carry around with us and grab to shoot with, so hopefully the photo thing will improve, and I want to keep blogging at least as much as I blogged from May through October of this year. We are going to try to potty train Annika. And I want to work with Torsten to find a balance that works for us now that we've hit a routine... the kids are getting older, there are no more babies in the house, we have school and daycare more or less figured out, work is reasonably stable... so now is the time to figure out some stuff about how our family life works best and how we can establish a division of labor and routine that make us both feel supported and not overwhelmed."

So, let's break those down:
1) We did not buy a real camera, so the photo thing didn't really improve, but Torsten did get an iPhone 7 Plus with the dual lens camera, and that has helped.
2) I blogged four times this year and not at all since May. So. No.
3) Annika did successfully potty train. Win.
4) The work-life balance for both of us was the big one, and I feel really good about it. We did a shit ton of really hard work, and it has paid off. We're in a really good spot with our routine and our relationship.

I am not sure about next year. Mostly I want to keep a good thing going with our routine, and do some travel.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Susie, Miriel, Arwen, Stephanie, and a work colleague/friend.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't leave the country this year, but I did a lot of domestic travel: to Albuquerque, Michigan, and the Bay Area with/to see friends; to the Pacific Coast, Maine (with bonus Boston visit including time with Jonna), North Carolina, and Charleston with family; and to Jacksonville, Chicago, San Diego, Seattle, Memphis, Baltimore, and DC for work.

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
Hope for our country's future. OK, this isn't a fair answer because I had a LOT of hope for our country's future for about 10 months of this year, and now I have very little. An endless travel budget.

7. What moments from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Seeing Torsten put in incredible amounts of work to get our family routine to where it needed to be, and the culmination of that with him accepting a new job with a solid work-life balance a couple months ago. Realizing Trump was going to win Wisconsin and thus the election and sobbing hysterically, and then having to tell the kids about it the next morning. Watching my kids' relationship with each other grow and deepen, and seeing how kind and thoughtful they are both turning out to be. Leaning on my friends hard when I needed to, and having them lean on me.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Continuing on my response from last year, I learned to channel my accommodating/fix-it impulses into speaking up and making things better for everyone, including myself, instead of trying to take on full responsibility for burdens that are typically shared. I invested everything I had to give into my marriage and my family and got incredible results. I unpacked some shit that was depleting my emotional resources and became a much better, and less yelling-prone, parent as a result.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failing to anticipate and emotionally prepare for the election result.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major, but this has been a BAD fall and early winter for stomach bugs, and it would be awesome if that could end any time now. Also, I got laryngitis this year for the first time ever, and that was deeply unpleasant.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A meal service that provides us with pre-cooked, nutritious meals three days per week so the cooking burden is lessened. New chairs for our living room and a table for our patio. Therapy.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Torsten's, like every year. I said up above that I invested everything I had into our family, but so did he, and I'd say he had the harder work to do. He stepped up like a champ and I am so grateful and proud.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
People who are irrationally and unconsciously (or consciously, for that matter) motivated by white identity and perceived threat to their desired world order.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Same answer for the sixth straight year: our mortgage and childcare.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our family. Torsten's new job. The prospect of Hillary Clinton as president.

16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier
b) Thinner
c) About the same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleeping. Working out. Volunteering.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Assuming that racism and myopic white men were no longer in charge of the world.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We came to visit my parents in North Carolina (where we still are). First we left the kids with my parents for a few days and Torsten and I drove down to Charleston, which was delightful. We came back up on Christmas Eve and had a nice peaceful Christmas with my parents and some family friends. My sister and her brood came down the next day and we repeated the whole shebang with significantly more chaos and cousin love.

21. Did you fall in love in 2016?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Gilmore Girls. Parenthood. I'm really with the times, I know.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
I'd say A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara, with runner-up credit to Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.

26. What did you want and get?
A happy family with a solid, comfortable life routine. A lot of travel. A lovely tenth anniversary gift from Torsten.

27. What did you want and not get?
Hillary Clinton as PEOTUS.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I think we only saw one movie in the theater this year, Finding Dory, which I liked but didn't love.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
My parents were supposed to fly in that day but we had a massive unexpected blizzard and their flight got cancelled. I woke up early in the morning to their phone call about it, then spent the next couple hours hashing out an alternate travel plan for them. We were housebound all day due to the snow, so we couldn't pick up my birthday cake and had to cancel our dinner plans, and had to try to work all day while our kids were home with a snow day and no childcare. Basically the day was pretty unpleasant and I called it a do-over and celebrated properly a couple days later once the roads were clear and my parents got to town. Torsten did give me a gorgeous necklace as a gift, which salvaged things pretty well. I turned 32.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
In my own little personal life, honestly, nothing. On a broader level, more enlightened voters and people who are interested in things like data and objective facts, and a different election outcome.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Dresses in the summer and skinny jeans with sweaters in winter. Necklaces and earrings almost every day.

32. What kept you sane?
Same as the last two years: My little family. My group of best friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm bad at this.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't even know what to say about this that I haven't already said. In addition to the horrifying racism, self-centeredness, and myopia of way too many voters in this country, I'm pretty appalled not just by the hostile foreign state that interfered with our election, but also by the number of people who don't seem to care or even seem to welcome it because it helped achieve the outcome they wanted. I'm extremely concerned about NATO, Syria, and foreign policy in general, as well as about things like basic civil rights and freedoms domestically. In sum, pretty much everything about politics stirred me deeply this year and while 2016 was a terrible year for many people, I'm extremely concerned that 2017 is going to be significantly worse.

35. Who did you miss?
Similar answer to the past seven years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away. Particular shoutout to my delightful local bestie who then moved to Singapore, since she became a new addition to the list of friends I am always missing.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Some moms of Callum's kindergarten classmates who've become good personal friends of mine.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.
Misinformation is dangerous. Don't underestimate the power of denied feelings. (I really believe this election outcome was due to white men having lots of FEELINGS that they don't understand about no longer being the only demographic group with a seat at the table, and that's confusing for them because men don't have feelings because aren't feelings those inferior things that women keep having that hold them back, along with their periods? I don't know what's happening but it doesn't feel good and I'm pretty sure I should express those unpleasant feelings by voting for the guy in the preposterous hat who says the insane things that make me FEEL good even though I don't have feelings so I'm going to point to a lot of fake claims with no supporting data to justify my vote because it's not possible that I'm voting based on FEELINGS that I don't actually believe I have.) Do the best you can and stay your course and try to help people even when everything feels overwhelmingly daunting.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.

Happy New Year, everybody! Fingers crossed our system of government is still intact at the end of it.

A year of personal growth

(Previous years: 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007)  

1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?
Traveled internationally with two children. Biked in a race. Sent a child to public school. Commissioned a painting. Took two kids on a beach vacation (pretty sure that trip single-handedly ensured the success of the sunscreen industry this year). Hosted my French host family at our home. Flew by myself with two kids. Visited Isla Mujeres. Started a five-year diary, and wrote in it every day.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year I said that I wanted "to do some more organizing (nursery and basement closets: I'm looking at you), blog about something real from time to time, get the kids' college funds in order, and take more photos with our real camera." I did get the nursery and basement closets organized, as well as Torsten's whole office, which was our catch-all room, so that's a yes. I did return to blogging, which has been great, though it's petered out a bit toward the end of the year. The college funds remain an ongoing thing to resolve. The camera photos... eh. Some, but not enough. So, two out of four. Next year I think we may buy a smaller "real" camera that isn't quite so unwieldy and will be easier to carry around with us and grab to shoot with, so hopefully the photo thing will improve, and I want to keep blogging at least as much as I blogged from May through October of this year. We are going to try to potty train Annika. And I want to work with Torsten to find a balance that works for us now that we've hit a routine... the kids are getting older, there are no more babies in the house, we have school and daycare more or less figured out, work is reasonably stable... so now is the time to figure out some stuff about how our family life works best and how we can establish a division of labor and routine that make us both feel supported and not overwhelmed.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Jonna, as well as two of my college friends, Jill and Jen.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico and Germany. I also took both kids to Maryland and Pennsylvania as a surprise for my mom's 60th birthday, went to Albuquerque for PJs at TJ's, went to Boston and Chicago for girls' weekends, attended a wedding (with bonus Susie and Miranda time) in the Bay Area, and went to DC for work.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
A skincare routine that consistently keeps my skin in good condition. A bit more balance in our home life.

7. What moments from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Watching Callum transition to a new and very different preschool, and seeing how he has thrived and built friendships there. Seeing Annika develop into this incredible little PERSON with opinions and verbal skills and a sense of humor and, yes, curly hair. Spending time with Torsten in Mexico and having some really important state of the union conversations about our future goals for our family. Going on a family trip to the North Sea with great trepidation, only to discover that it's completely amazing and we want to go back as often as we can. Surprising my mom with a visit to Hershey with all her grandkids for her birthday, and spending a week in Pennsylvania during an incredible cold snap. Getting to a deeper plane of friendship with my closest friends, and seeing how we all collectively love and support each other through all kinds of shit.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I spoke up for myself, on a couple different fronts, and got the results I wanted. I have learned that I tend to be a problem-solver not just for myself but for everyone around me, and a person who always wants to accommodate other people, and sometimes that means I don't do what I need for myself, and that is something I've been working on, and I think it's actually starting to take.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not always stepping back and seeing the broader perspective. Failing to understand underlying reasons for things, and reacting with frustration and snippiness as a result.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A FitBit. The aforementioned commissioned painting (a watercolor of the cottage in Maine that we always stay at). Skincare products. Earrings (after I finally got my messed-up left ear piercing fixed). A rowing machine.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Torsten's, like every year. He has watched me go through my own little set of epiphanies and adjustments, and they haven't always been easy on him, and he hasn't always known how to handle them, but he has been right there, in it with me, wanting to help, wanting to know what he can do, and trying really hard to support me. And all while dealing with his own stuff--a challenging job, his own figuring out of work-life balance, his fitness.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
People who are incapable of friendship on a deep level, but pretend otherwise and thus make a mockery of what it means to truly love and support and trust your friends.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Same answer for the fifth straight year: our mortgage and childcare.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our family. I am loving this phase and feeling really good about how our lives will look as a family of four moving forward. The prospect of years of all of us together laying out in front of us makes me feel really happy.

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
Bad Blood by Taylor Swift

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier
b) Thinner - all baby weight is finally gone
c) About the same - maybe a little richer in the boring ways like retirement accounts and home equity

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleeping. Working out.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Waiting for problems to get fixed without me contributing.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
My parents came to visit (they're still here, actually). We had a very nice, l0w-key Christmas with happy kids, lovely gifts for everyone, and a delicious dinner in our pajamas. Both kids are completely in love with their grandparents, and we've been enjoying a really nice, pleasant visit.

21. Did you fall in love in 2015?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
House of Cards. Cheers. Veep.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
I read a lot of books this year, which I'm pleased about, AND I tracked them all, so I was able to look at my list to pick a favorite, and I think it was I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Like pretty much every year: I'm not sure I made any.

26. What did you want and get?
A happy family. Work-life balance for myself. A really lovely Christmas present from Torsten (and another from a dear friend).

27. What did you want and not get?
A magic bullet. A foolproof eyebrow shape.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I think we only saw one movie in the theater this year, Inside Out, which I liked, though it was by far not my favorite Pixar movie.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Torsten gave me my gifts (a gorgeous watch and earrings) in the morning before work, then we took a lunch break together and grabbed Chipotle and birthday cake. After work, Torsten and I went out on our own for dinner at my favorite restaurant. I turned 31.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I've said this for the last couple of years, but I really mean it: truly, nothing. Not to say that it was a perfect year or that everything in my life is ideal, but it was deeply satisfying even in the hard parts, because I am winding up the year feeling like a team and a family, and knowing that we're all on the same side, and happy about our lives together. The satisfaction of that feeling papers over a lot of cracks.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
Pants that fit correctly. Colored jeans when possible. Venturing into the world of booties and earrings. 

32. What kept you sane?
Same as last year: My little family. My group of best friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm bad at this.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Like last year: Pretty much all of them. The refugee crisis is a big one at the moment, of course, though I find it depressing that it even qualifies as a political issue.

35. Who did you miss?
I'm slightly tweaking my answer from the past six years: Most of my friends and family, since many of them live far away (this previously said pretty much all of them lived far away, but by now I have several very dear local friends who are lovely and sanity-saving, so I'm amending a smidge).

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Well, I didn't meet them this year, but there are two moms of classmates at Callum's old school who I've known for a couple years now but who have truly become close friends this year, and I love them both and am so grateful to have them. 

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
There are people who seem like fun and who can be enjoyable to spend time with, but not all of them are people who truly care about you and love you and will see you through any shit. Sometimes the people in the latter group mess up, and that's OK, because they will still be there after they mess up, trying to fix it. And, as always, follow your instincts. Sometimes there's a reason someone hasn't moved from the first category to the second. Sometimes people will say things that don't make sense, and that's when you need to look closer, because that's when you can discern who is really your person and who isn't.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
As last year: I don't think there is one. There pretty much never is.

Happy New Year, everybody!