Magazines

Shauna was writing about reading material over on her blog, and I said something to this effect in the comment section, but I wanted to talk about it here too.

I think I'm between magazines.

When I was in high school I like Cosmo. I thought it was fun and interesting. On occasion I would pick up Glamour and flip through it, but I always found it boring and tedious. Cosmo seemed, though in retrospect this sounds impossible, more relevant to me? Not in that at age 16 I was in desperate need of tips on how to give the blow job of my guy's life or whatever, but it just seemed more interesting and young.

At some point, I think when I was in college, I started to find Cosmo boring. I noticed that it was really unfeminist and horrifyingly man-centered, and that the content of the magazine was pretty much exactly the same from month to month, only with different headlines.

So then, at some point in my early 20s, I looked at Glamour again. And I liked it. It's pro-woman in a very mainstream, limited kind of way, and it has articles about things other than just sex and fashion, and a lot of it was interesting. So I subscribed, and I still subscribe.

But I've noticed over the last few months that I'm just not that interested in it anymore. I flip through the magazine very quickly and skip half the articles. Their attempts at exposes and hard news pieces don't really matter to me because I get that kind of info in much better form from sources like the New York Times. I feel informed about the harder stuff they cover, from news to health, and less interested in the softer stuff, like relationship advice and fashion tips.

Part of it probably has to do with the fact that we have no money--things like a "steal" of a dress at $55 aren't relevant to me at the moment since I will not be spending anywhere near $55 on any article of clothing at any point in the near future--but part of it is just that my interests have diverged with its subject matter.

There are other magazines that I enjoy off and on, like Bitch and Bust, but what I really want is a fluffy, shiny magazine that's a quick, easy read (not quite on People level as I am not interested enough in celebrities for that to matter) but that is still relevant to my life. Glamour seems like the last frontier of that in terms of fashion magazines--or am I wrong? Is there another that I might still like at this point in my life?--but what other magazines would be a good replacement?

So basically my point here is, what magazines do YOU read, and why? And should I be reading them too?

What kind of people like The Wire?

Torsten and I watched the first episode of The Wire last night. We put Season 1 on hold at the library weeks ago and finally the other day we came to the top of the queue. Torsten had seen Season 4, and I had never seen the show at all.

Torsten loved it. I... did not. I didn't hate it. But it felt so LONG. And it was complicated and I didn't understand what was happening half the time and so I was mostly just confused except every now and then I was sad because something sad happened. And I didn't really like that combination of feelings very much.

I'm going to give it a couple more episodes to see if I become invested. My hopes aren't high. Torsten will be crushed if I don't like it. He wants to watch the entire series together. If I can't get into it he's going to have to go it alone, and he's not going to like that, and quite honestly it probably won't even end up happening.

But maybe I'll end up liking it. We'll see.

Although, given that I love Sex and the City and Friends and House and American Idol, and can barely tolerate 24, what do we think the odds are that I will end up really liking The Wire?

I'm actually serious here, I want some input. It seems like everywhere I go people are raving about The Wire, all different types of people with all different types of taste. It sounded like it was one of those shows that everyone likes. Transcendental, even. Is it? Will it grow on me? Or is it/am I a lost cause?

Why The Simpsons isn't my thing

You know that meme that's been going around where people make lists of things everyone else likes but they don't? Yeah, I'm not going to do a whole list, but I do have one: The Simpsons.

Let me say, I do recognize that the show is brilliant. It's funny, it's smart, it's sarcastic. In theory it's the kind of show I would like. It makes fun of everything and does it well.

But in practice I just don't enjoy watching it. The cartoon voices are so GRATING. That's the main thing. And also half the characters are really annoying.

So yeah. It's not that I don't get it, or don't understand why others like it. It's just that I can't take it. It is not something I would choose as a half hour of relaxing programming before bed, or whatever.

Of course, Torsten loves it, and we always have at least 10 episodes on the DVR. But when he watches it I can never buy into it. I love listening to him laugh at it, and every now and then he pauses it and tells me about something hilarious that just happened, and sometimes it legit sounds hilarious, but I just... can't get into it. So I usually read a book or catch up on blogs or whatever while he's watching it.

So, yeah. Brilliant, hilarious, iconic show. BUT AGH THE VOICES GAH.

Beyond incredulous

I hit my business trip wall yesterday. I am just DONE. I've been here for over a week, it's been windy and rainy for most of it, my husband is far away, I'm tired, and overall I'm just over it. I want to go home.

Luckily, I am going home, tonight, so I'm pretty much done at this point (other than the 4-hour plane ride), but I am still in that ridiculous mental place. I was VERY GRUMPY last night about having to go to bed by myself without Torsten next to me, and I was still grumpy about it when I woke up in a bed by myself this morning.

What can I say? I'm a big baby and I don't like to be away from my husband, and I don't like being away from home for this long unless I'm on some wonderful exotic vacation. And a business trip to DC is certainly not a wonderful exotic location.

But! It's OK! Because I have found incredible hilarity to distract me, in the form of some choice quotes from Jennifer Love Hewitt's new book.

Seriously. I had no opinion about this woman before. But NOW do I EVER have an opinion about her. I don't think I need to tell you what it is. I'm pretty sure that these quotes from her book speak for themselves:

"It's no secret—guys hate to spoon. They prefer to fork, lol! ... So here's the trick: play it cool until he falls asleep and then Velcro yourself to him, quickly and with very little motion (think Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible). And then, if and when he wakes, turn quickly, like you were just stretching, and wait. When the little lamb sleeps again One...Two...Three...Velcro!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"When they say 'I,' help them say 'we.' If you and your guy are with other people and he says, 'I ate at the best restaurant last night,' just simply follow it up with, 'Yeah, we had the best food!' It will eventually change his thinking."

Seriously, you have to read the rest of the quotes. No matter how pissy you're feeling, the sheer hilarity will crack you up. I mean, not that she is trying to be hilarious. But the quotes definitely are. Or else they're just really depressing. You decide.

American Idol has left me speechless...

...and not in a good way.

Sad enough about Lilly. Too early for her to go home even though I knew she couldn't win it all.

But Alex Lambert? HOW COULD THAT BE? He was one of the best! Just please please please let him get an awesome record deal and become a huge star. He has such an awesome voice! And he's so sweet, and bizarrely, confusingly charming (just ignore the mullet). I LOVE HIM. HOW COULD HE BE LEAVING?

Let us all revel in the wonder that is this kid's amazing voice, one last time (the song itself lasts under two minutes... the rest is the judges' critiques).

Oscar postmortem

I was on some newspaper website yesterday afternoon, and I wish I could remember which one but I can't, and it had one of those random little sidebar polls, asking if people were planning to watch the Oscars. And the answer options were either "yes," "no, I'll watch something else," or "no, I don't watch TV."

Am I the only person who sees something missing here? How about "no, I watch TV sometimes but I won't be watching it at that particular time"? Doesn't that seem like a valid option? I mean, the three possible answers imply that if you watch TV, you watch it round the clock. It just seems weird.

Anyway, I'm not really one to talk, because I did watch the Oscars, or at least part of them. I have to say, I don't actually really enjoy the Oscars that much, and also I'm not a big moviegoer so I've usually seen only a very few of the nominated movies, and I find almost all of the acceptance speeches so awkward that I want to hit the mute button. And the ones that aren't awkward are the ones that were clearly memorized in advance and aren't exciting or touching at all (Mo'Nique, anyone?).

(Though, I will say that I liked the speech from the costume design winner. Yeah, she was a little braggy about this being her third Oscar, but she is RIGHT. Historical films ALWAYS win this category, when in fact I think it's a lot more work to costume a contemporary film that requires a lot more subtlety. For example, I really thought The Queen deserved to win the year it was nominated, because it was a real challenge to dress Helen Mirren in the queen's notable, and sometimes awkward, style.)

But! The dresses! And the occasional ball-related joke! But really, the dresses! Some of my favorites (all photos from NYMag.com):

OK, I know it's a bit over the top, but the purple! Oh, the purple. Heart Zoe Saldana:


Rachel McAdams just looked incredibly freaking gorgeous and classy:


Is it weird to have two Mean Girls actresses here? Oh, if only Lindsay Lohan hadn't fallen apart, and could be up here to complete the trifecta. But at least we can console ourselves with Amanda Seyfried's lovely dress:


Queen Latifah has some seriously bad movies out there, but this dress made me more inclined to forgive them:


I almost never like Cameron Diaz's red carpet dresses, or if I do like the dress, I hate the makeup or the hair. But this time, she got everything right:


Which dresses stood out to you last night? Was there anyone who seemed like an obvious walking catastrophe? I honestly can't think of anyone who looked downright terrible.

Face2Face

So, remember a few months ago when I posted about how disappointed we were that Elton John and Billy Joel were performing in Denver when we were going to be out of town? Well, that concert ended up getting canceled and, shortly thereafter, rescheduled. Luckily this happened before Torsten decided to quit his job and we implemented the spending freeze, so we purchased tickets (though at least we were smart enough to buy the less expensive seats) back in what is now known as our Happy Go Lucky Period.

And, well, I'm so glad we did. The concert was last night and it was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. Torsten feels the same way. We are both still half deaf but it was so, so worth it. Look, here's a crappy BlackBerry for posterity/to prove we were there (though I'm not sure this photo could actually be used as evidence of anything):


I'm what you might call a casual fan of both of Elton and Billy... as in, I know and love their big hits, can probably recognize their voices if a more obscure song comes on the radio, but am not familiar with their work beyond that. So, I was a little concerned that they might play a bunch of album cuts that I had never heard, but I guess both of them are veterans enough to know what their bread and butter songs are, because I swear they played every one.

Seriously, every time they played another one I thought that surely they must have hit the limit of songs of theirs that I know and love, and then another one would happen. They started with Your Song, which made me super happy because that's one of my favorite songs, and only continued from there. I swear, the only song I can think of by either of them that wasn't played was New York State of Mind.

Elton is a total kook, which I hadn't realized. His outfits were insane, but also awesome. And Billy Joel could have a backup career as a stand-up comedian. Torsten tells me that's his thing, but I didn't know, which just made his dry one-liners extra hilarious. And, they both signed autographs on stage during their set, which I thought was super nice of them.

Plus, these two are a brilliant pairing. Their voices and styles mesh so well. AND the concert was so long! There was no opening act, and we were there for almost four hours. They played a few songs together to start, then Elton did a set on his own that lasted over an hour, and then Billy did the same thing, and then they played a long set together. The crowd was super into it, and to my own surprise, we were far from being the youngest people there.

And... bizarrely... it was romantic. I wasn't expecting that AT ALL, but there it was. It was an awesome experience to share.

Absolutely worth the price of admission, even if we had purchased the tickets post spending freeze. If they ever come back to Denver (assuming we aren't totally broke at that point), we will DEFINITELY go to see them again.

I kind of want Posh to be my new BFF.

Did anyone else kind of love Victoria Beckham on American Idol last night? This was my first exposure to her as a person, and I was pleasantly surprised. I mean, yeah, she didn't say that much, but I think a lot of that was due to her having trouble breaking into the other judges' dynamic (and actually, as a side note, watching VB struggle with that gave me a new respect for Kara, who did it a lot more seamlessly last year).

But the thing about Victoria is that I always assumed she was an uber-bitch because she just LOOKS so sharp and pointy and stand-offish, and her outfits are always SO high-fashion, but I was so impressed at how NICE she was. She just... was REAL. And friendly, and smart. I wished the other judges would let her talk a bit more because I found myself really wanting to hear what she had to say.

I mean, watching her, I could totally see her as a mother, and a good one at that, and that's something I never understood about her before.

My question is, did everyone in England already know this, and we Americans weren't in on the secret? Or, for that matter, did everyone in the US already know this and I was out of the loop? Or does everyone else still think she's totally frigid and I'm just living in my own parallel universe?

AND, if it turns out that people agree with me, do you think this one night of exposure on American Idol will help her establish more of a fan base in the US?

The funny thing about this is that until last night, I wouldn't have even CARED. But now I feel bizarrely INVESTED. I LIKE her. I don't know what it is!

In concert

I don't really think of myself as being particularly into concerts. I like live music, and I like going to concerts, but I don't do it that often and I'm not clued into the scene, really, so I'm sure I've missed local tour stops from some of my favorite musicians.

Over the years, though, the artists I've seen in concert have started to add up. I'm sure I'm forgetting some, but here's a partial list of artists I've seen live, some more than once (coughBenFoldscough).

• Squirrel Nut Zippers
• Catie Curtis
• Dar Williams
• KT Tunstall
• Ben Folds
• David Gray
• Aerosmith
• Rufus Wainwright
• Missy Higgins
  
• Kyo (French band, seen in France)
  
• Ummm... I'm sure this isn't the whole list. Who am I forgetting? Am I senile already?

Next year, Torsten and I will be adding U2 to this list. We were impressed at how affordable the tickets to this concert are, and we are super excited about the concert because we hear that they're one of the best live.

I'm trying to come up with a list of who else I'd like to see in concert, and some of them are ridiculous pop acts but I am not ashamed. Here's what I can think of:

• Snow Patrol
• Coldplay
• Pink
• Britney Spears
• Ben Folds, again (even though the last concert of his that I attended sucked)
• Sara Bareilles
• Adam Lambert
  
• The Billy Joel/Elton John Face 2 Face tour (the WORST about this is that they recently added a Denver date but we will be OUT OF TOWN and thus can't go, and are both crushed about it)
  
• Robbie Williams
• The Beatles (I never said this was a REALISTIC list)
  

What about you? What are some memorable concerts you've been to, and/or what concerts are you dying to go to?

Celebrity crushes

Awhile back (like probably two years at this point), a meme-type thing was circling the blogosphere and everyone was making lists of celebrities they thought were hot. I kept meaning to do it at the time, but I never got around to it. And also, bizarrely, I find it difficult to keep track of the celebrities I like. I'll see an actor and think to myself, "That person would be on my list!" And then five minutes later, I've forgotten all about it.

Really, that's probably a good thing. No unhealthy obsession with celebrities over here, right?

Anyway, I've managed to collect my thoughts enough to pull my top five. Think of this kind of like that list that Ross laminated on the episode of Friends back in the day, except without giving consideration to gender, and also I'm not sure I'd necessarily want to have sex with any of these people. But still, the same idea.

Anyway, here they are, numbered but only for organizational purposes. Not in order of preference.

1. Lindsay Price. God, that woman is hot. Seriously, cannot get over the gorgeousness. She is the main reason that I was sad when Lipstick Jungle was canceled. Yes, even more than Robert Buckley. He wasn't my type. Apparently, she is.


2. Alan Rickman. OK, I know this is probably a strange choice, and that I'm likely quite alone in this one. But the man is just captivating. And that VOICE. And yes, I especially like him in his role as Snape. I know, I'm weird.


3. Lucy Liu. The woman is just freaking breathtaking. And classy. And stylish. I mean really, what else is there to say?


4. John Stamos. He was hot as Uncle Jesse, despite the mullet, but he's only gotten hotter over the years. Seriously.


5. Emma Watson. I know, two actors from Harry Potter on this list. But this girl is just gorgeous, and smart too, and I love her fashion sense. I remember watching the first Harry Potter movie and wondering what they would do if the actors turned out ugly when they grew up. This was definitely not a concern for Emma Watson. (Maybe Daniel Radcliffe, though.)


Who's on your list?

Facebook apps

I think Facebook is passing me by.

I wasn't one of the original users--I believe it was started in 2004, and I didn't join until about a year later, when my school was added--but I've been around for awhile, since before you could add photos and before there were networks and before anyone could join and when the URL was still thefacebook.com instead of just facebook.com.

And for the most part, I like the direction it's gone in. I like that it's now accessible to all and I like that people from other countries are starting to join. I like that they have fine-tuned their privacy options to the point now where you can select a specific piece of contact information or a specific group of other personal information and list individual friends who can't see that part of your profile. I think it's moving ahead intelligently and while people always resist change, for the most part I think the changes have been positive.

I also like certain things that haven't changed, like the overall look of the site, and the inability to go overboard with customizing your page--a refreshing change from MySpace, where I'm too old and un-hip to be able to read all the crazy stuff with the insane blinking backgrounds on some of the pages. I like that I know where to look to find specific information on people's profiles. I like the updates and the news feeds and the way that I can keep tabs on what's going on in my friends' lives.

There is one minor thing that I actively dislike about the site, and that's the inability to opt out of receiving notifications when people comment on something after you. Multiple times I have thought twice about commenting on a photo or a status because I didn't want to deal with the headache of nine thousand notifications popping up over the next day or so.

But the thing about Facebook that I don't totally get is the applications. When they were first introduced, I installed a few, but mostly uninstalled them shortly thereafter. I do understand the concept--third-party applications to do just about anything in exchange for access to your personal information. I have Lexulous installed, and I love it. (Speaking of which, if we're FB friends and you play Lexulous too, start a game with me!) But that's the only application that I actively use.

The apps that I don't understand are the ones that send notifications from people you barely know. We all have those friends on FB, the ones who aren't really friends and with whom we never really communicate. So why am I receiving plants for my little green patch from them (especially when I don't even HAVE a little green patch), and invitations to join their team in Mafia Wars? Did they actually select me individually for this honor? Or is it just a massive spam from the app to their entire list of friends?

And also, just because I installed that app to "take your friends' personal quizzes!" to take ONE PERSON'S QUIZ doesn't mean I need a freaking notification every time ANYONE on my friends list sets up a quiz like that. OMG LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE. I'm just saying.

It's gotten to the point where I don't even LOOK at notifications from apps anymore. I never respond to requests or notifications or gifts sent or anything else. They are just not on my radar. And, therefore, I don't install apps on my profile anymore. Even though there might be some really cool ones I'm missing out on. It's just too much for me to deal with. I'll stick with Lexulous, thank you.

What about you? Do you use apps on FB? If so, which ones?

SAG Red Carpet

OK, tomorrow I will finally get to talk about my news, so this is the last post of fluff in the meantime. Did anyone watch the Screen Actors Guild awards last night? I didn't, but I did check out the red carpet photos, duh. All photos from here.

First, the bad.

Angelina Jolie? Well, she was wearing a color, a real one, but she's wearing her third or fourth boring sack in a row. What's with all the dresses that sag over her top half, are slightly cinched at the waist, and then hang boringly from her hips? I mean, seriously. Mix it up a little!


Now, I love Kate Winslet, and I think she's gorgeous, and I know the color of her dress is really trendy, but the whole thing was just very off-putting for me. It was just SO tight across the hips and midsection, and the top part made her shoulders look very broad and square and her boobs look very far apart, fifties-style.


Marcia Cross, no no no. So busy! Like an eighties prom dress, except without shoulder pads (at LEAST).


At first I thought that America Ferrera's dress had promise, but then I saw the skirt. Can someone please explain to me why sacks have come back into fashion? Because everyone seems to be wearing them. I once learned that skirt size was inversely related to the state of the economy--the worse off the economy, the shorter and tighter the skirts of the day. But in this case, apparently not.


If it's not the skirt that looks like a sack, it's the top. Christina Applegate, what IS this?


Maybe I'm very gender-normative, but I love it when Susan Sarandon wears dresses instead of pantsuits. But this looks like a nightie. And not in a good way.


The frills around Eva Longoria-Parker's boobs aren't doing her any favors, and the ones around her midsection are even worse. This dress just eats her.


I love Lisa Edelstein and think she is gorgeous. But WHAT is that thing hanging from her shoulder? It's even worse than Nicole Kidman's Oscars 2007 dress with the giant bow.


Now, the good. And maybe this is a sign that I am not so on board with the fashions of the moment? But I didn't see much that was good, and even less that was great.

Claire Danes looks nice. Her boobs appear nonexistent, but the dress has shape and is relatively simple.


I'm torn on Amy Adams. I love the color, obviously, and the fact that the dress has a lovely tailored shape. But that... THING on her torso? Not so sure.


OK, the top parts of the the dress look kind of like boob-wings? But this dress is super flattering on Paula Abdul, and for her, pretty tame. I think she looks great.


I wouldn't have thought that I would love Laura Linney's dress (I would certainly not have ever chosen that color myself), but I kind of do. I'm not sure what it is.


Teri Hatcher's dress is, for me, a clear example of how frills and embellishments can be done well and not look over-the-top. Love.


Rosario Dawson's dress is a bit much, but she can pull it off, and it's definitely dazzling.


I LOVE Viola Davis's dress. Great color, great cut, incredibly flattering. Heart.


So who were your best- and worst-dressed on the red carpet last night?

On bridezillas as a concept

I'm sure that most of you has heard of the movie that's coming out soon, Bride Wars. It's pretty much impossible not to, considering that Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson are promoting the shit out of it. Seriously, they are everywhere, but as much as I love seeing Anne Hathaway's red carpet choices, I will not be seeing this movie. Even if I weren't already married and pretty much over weddings, I wouldn't be seeing this movie. Because, to be frank, it looks like a sexist, cliché piece of shit. The portrayal of the wedding as the most important thing in these women's lives, the way they turn on each other so easily over a minor conflict... it's just disgusting. But really, this review says everything that I could say, and very succinctly, so I highly suggest that you read it.

But the whole thing got me thinking about weddings and bridezillas. I hate the term bridezillas, and I hate the fact that this movie is such a cheap way to capitalize on that social idea of women as bridezillas. This movie buys into all those stereotypes that give weddings such a bad name and makes regular women feel that if they don't want to turn into a bridezilla and everything that represents, they can't have a traditional wedding at all.

I just find the entire concept of the bridezilla to be sexist and disempowering. There are very few women who act like this, and yet it's become such an easy, popular term to use that all those brides who fall into normal parameters--spending money and effort to make their wedding what they want, and having reasonable expectations that others will do what they say they will to make that happen, without treating everyone around them as disposable--hypersensitive to being labeled a bridezilla.

This happened to me the day before my wedding--I found out that my dress had been put back into its garment bag after being steamed and pressed, which meant that the satin would wrinkle again. Hyper-conscious of not wanting to be a bridezilla, I responded in what I felt was a mild, polite, and appropriate manner and found a solution to the issue (calling my father, who was at the hotel with the dress, to ask him to take it out of the bag before it wrinkled). And yet I got called a bridezilla, and it felt both hurtful and incredibly unfair. I still don't think I was being unreasonable at all, and I didn't get mad or yell or scream, and yet the second that word was used, I felt that I couldn't say any more about the situation or even respond to the allegation without making things worse.

Basically, "bridezilla" has become a term that makes regular people feel that they can't assert themselves in ways that would normally be well within their rights. It's become a way of fighting back, a way of, essentially, silencing someone. Brides are so worried about not being bridezillas that a lot of them are going too far in the opposite direction and not standing up for themselves when they should.

I'm not saying there aren't women (and men--yes, it happens) who go crazy over their weddings, who make it their number one priority at all costs and hurt people in the process, who act exactly like the characters in this movie. And that's inappropriate and unacceptable behavior on their part. But instead of turning it into a stereotype of how every bride will be and creating this term and this standard, can't we just treat these people as the anomalies they are? And certainly, can't we avoid making movies that spoon-feed this disempowering concept to the masses?

Fashion police, party of one

I'm not sure what it is about fashion that makes us always think that what's trendy now is so much better than the hideous things that were in style 10 years earlier. We laugh at clothes from the 60s, 70s, and 80s--and yet some of the stuff we wear now is just ridiculous.

I experienced a brief respite from this feeling maybe five years ago. I don't exactly have my finger on the pulse of the fashion world, but it seemed like structure was in--fitted jackets, neatly tailored skirts, etc. At the time, I remember thinking that fashion was, for once, REASONABLE--and then wondering if I would look back five years later and scorn myself for ever thinking that those clothes were timeless.

But actually, now it's five years later and I DON'T feel like those clothes were ridiculous. But I do think that a lot of what's in fashion now is the kind of thing that we're going to be cringing at in a decade or so. I was just reading Glamour and looking at the fashion spreads and reading the advice about how to pull off the latest looks--and I seriously could not keep myself from wincing as I looked.

Part of the problem, I think, is that we're swinging back in the direction of more is more. A recent issue of Glamour informed me that no longer is it about playing up one feature on your face with makeup and going subtle everywhere else. Why NOT pair fuschia lips with metallic green eye shadow and bright gold blush? it demanded. I looked at the accompanying photo of the model painted like a clown and thought, That's why not.

And it's not just the makeup. Flowy tops are one thing when paired with a nicely cut pair of jeans. But with a poufy skirt, a textured jacket, a giant belt, slouchy knee-high boots, a jeweled headband, a statement necklace, and patterned tights? Well, as far as I'm concerned, that spells overkill.

Maybe I'm just hopelessly unfashionable, but I cannot get on board with gladiator sandals, five-inch patent leather platform heels, cascading ruffles, or blinding combinations of colors and patterns. And the worst part is that there's no moderation--to listen to the fashion magazines, we should be wearing all of this stuff AT THE SAME TIME. There's no more statement piece--it's a statement OUTFIT. And it's blinding.

I just get the feeling recently that when our kids look at photos of us arranged in the latest fashions, they will laugh until they cry. It's like the eighties all over again.

So tell me, what's YOUR least favorite fashion trend of the moment? Or do you think that I'm totally wrong and the current styles are just the best thing ever?

Ben Folds let me down.

Last night Torsten and I went to a Ben Folds concert, the fifth time I've seen him live. It was held downtown in Constitutional Hall, which was great because most big concerts around here seem to be held out in the Maryland or Virginia suburbs, which are a giant pain to get to. I was the one who wanted to go and talked Torsten into it, but I think he wound up enjoying it more than I did. Although we both had our issues with it, at least Torsten wasn't really familiar with Ben Folds, so he didn't have all the complaints that I did.

I think part of my problem with the whole thing is that I've been a huge fan of Ben Folds since high school, and my favorite stuff of his is from the Rockin' the Suburbs era, and so that's all I really want to hear him play. And that must suck for musicians, because they move and evolve and their styles grow with them, and yet their fans are still stuck back in the glory years, screaming for them to play "Zak and Sara" just one more time.

So, he totally flouted us and played only new songs that nobody recognized. But that wasn't the whole problem. Part of it was the venue, which had a lot of reverb. And part of it was that it wasn't just Ben Folds up there--there were four other guys. And my preference when it comes to Ben Folds is just him and a piano up on the stage. Admittedly, two of the guys weren't doing much--but it was like a huge competition between the drums and the piano to see who could play louder. It was seriously an assault on the ears.

And it was just... a lot of it felt very experimental, very esoteric, very postmodern. Like they were just up there banging around on instruments and were as surprised as the rest of us at what sounds came out. And there were none of the fun, sarcastic stories that Ben Folds always used to tell during his concerts. And it was so loud during the songs that you couldn't hear the lyrics, which are usually clever and a very important part of his performances. And he didn't do any of the audience participation stuff that he usually does, like having people clap along and sing parts of the chorus and whatnot.

And I know I wasn't the only one who felt disappointed, because it was the first of the five Ben Folds shows I've been to where the majority of the audience wasn't standing up dancing. Everyone was just sitting there, not looking into it at all, with the exception of six college students in the very back row. They seemed to be having the time of their lives, and it made me wonder if maybe you have to be in college to enjoy a Ben Folds concert.

The best one I ever went to was my junior year of college, I think. He came to my campus and tickets were only $9 for students, and it was general admission so my friends and I camped out in line for about five hours and wound up in the second row. Everyone in the audience was a huge Ben Folds fan and knew all of his songs, and he was totally eating it up and playing to the audience. It was super interactive and he played one fantastic song after another. He even played some of the old Ben Folds Five stuff and since it was just him, he set up different sections of the audience to play the other instrumental parts. It was the best concert of my entire life and you could tell that he really loved it too. It was exceptional from start to finish. And afterward I ran into him on the lawn outside my dorm and we had a chat about the town we're both from and how he hoped that when his daughter grew up she would go to my school, and he autographed a dollar bill because that was all I had.

This was the opposite of that. Very weird, very removed. He did play a few old songs that people recognized during the encore, but only four of them and not even his best ones. I recognize that he wants to try out and promote his new material, but just mixing in a couple of songs that people could sing along to early on in the show would have really warmed them up for the new stuff. Instead I could tell we all felt alienated. It was like going to a Beatles show and hearing the White Album when what you really wanted was A Hard Day's Night.

All in all, a disappointment. The opening act was good, though. Her name was Missy Higgins and I had never heard of her, but she was great. Not worth the price of a Ben Folds ticket, though.

I'm kind of mad at Olivier Theyskens.

Let me respond to three reader questions right now, while I'm thinking of it, at the very top of my post. First, yesterday's clothes are from Old Navy, some from the regular women's department and some from the women's plus department, because at the moment I straddle the two categories, which is great for me but means that those of you who fall firmly into one category or the other may be disappointed. Second, two weekends ago I wound up baking chocolate chip cookies from Definitely RA's recipe, and oh my god, they were the best cookies I've ever had, and I seriously did not know that anyone except a professional chef was capable of baking such wonderful cookies. Third, we don't know yet what we're going to get in terms of wedding rings, but I'm thinking of this, which matches my engagement ring, and then Torsten would get a wider version of the same thing.

Okay, I think that addresses all the questions I've been meaning to answer, but if I'm wrong and you have a burning question that requires a response, please say so in the comments and I will do another roundup soon. No promises as to exactly when, though, given that one of the questions that I just answered was asked in April and it's now June.

Oh, and speaking of? Yeah, it's June. June meaning the first month of summer, meaning less than five months until the wedding, meaning the first month of having every other Friday off instead of just one per month, meaning squabbles at night because I want to turn on the fan (ON MY SIDE OF THE BED. POINTED ONLY AT ME) and Torsten doesn't want me to turn it on because he claims he can feel the wind (NOT TRUE).

Unfortunately, June does NOT mean parathyroid surgery, because my surgeon's assistant was not able to move up my appointment. Despite my repeated (but polite) badgering. But actually I'm okay with that, because the surgery is scheduled for July 1, which is a Tuesday, and then July 4 is that Friday, and since it's a holiday that would normally be my Friday off, I get Thursday July 3 off instead, which means that I only have to use two days of personal time for the surgery and I should be all better and ready to go back to work the following Monday.

So it works out well, and I've decided to be very zen about this whole thing and not worry about the scar and if I have a scar on my neck in my wedding photos, so it goes and the world won't end. (P.S. I learned this zen attitude from Stephanie, who is a super planner like me and yet has managed to transform herself, over the past few months, into this totally laid-back, roll with the punches kind of girl who moves on with her life without getting hung up on the things she can't control. I admire her transformation and desire to emulate it.)

Oh and while we're on the subject of complete and total randomness? Let's briefly discuss the whole Sarah Jessica Parker SATC dress debacle. For those of you who haven't heard and don't feel like clicking the link, when SJP selected her dress for the New York movie premiere, she specifically asked the designer, Olivier Theyskens of Nina Ricci, if it had been worn on the red carpet before, and he assured her that it had not. He personally assured her of this, and then the day after the premiere, a photo surfaced of him standing next to Lauren Santo Domingo wearing the exact same dress at the Met Ball earlier that month.

The point is, he lied to her. And yes, we're talking about a dress and several cases of wounded vanity. But if I were SJP, I'd be pissed, and probably more than she is. She is known as a trendsetter, a fashion icon on the very cutting edge. The New York premiere of the SATC movie was the biggest possible stage for this. She asked the designer himself to assure her that she would be the first to wear the dress on the red carpet, and he flat-out lied to her face about it. That's a pretty big deal to me.

And the worst part is, he didn't have the grace to admit it afterward, to apologize for his error in judgment, send her a fantastic apology gift, and then move on. Instead, he pretended like he thought that what he had done was totally acceptable, acting like Lauren Santo Domingo doesn't count as "on the red carpet" because she isn't that famous (which I'm sure she appreciated reading--and also, it doesn't matter WHO is wearing if if someone is wearing it on the red carpet, specifically at an event as high-profile as the Met Ball) and being dismissive of people who noticed by asking if everyone looks at Style.com as though that's a bad thing (a tad hypocritical coming from a fashion designer).

I mean, come on, dude. The woman asked if anyone had worn the dress on the red carpet before because she knew what a big deal this was. You yourself know that there is way more to who wears what on the red carpet than just a pretty dress--this is a business, the bottom line is profit, and exposure means everything and is sometimes contractually obligated. You yourself KNEW that this event was a big deal, and you KNEW that if you answered the question honestly, she wouldn't wear the dress. And so you lied, and you got what you wanted, and now you are being a sleaze about it, and I hope as a result that celebrities who could be making you tons of money by shilling your clothes on the red carpet in the future choose to go with a different designer instead.

Am I alone in this? I mean, I realize--as does SJP herself--that this is a tempest in a teapot, but fashion icons and the red carpet are what this guy's career is about, and SJP's as well, particularly when it comes to her role on SATC. I can't be the only one who thinks he's only compounding the damage by trying to make her look petty for being irked. Or am I? What are your thoughts?

Trees and premieres and invitations, oh my.

So, it rained all weekend, and particularly hard on Sunday evening and all through the night. The culmination of the storm was at 4:30 on Monday morning, when Torsten and I were awakened by a huge thud that I, in my half-asleep state, thought was a garbage truck slamming a dumpster back onto the ground in a particularly ferocious manner.

But no. It wasn't a dumpster. It was a tree. A very large tree. Landing across the residential street behind our building, and crushing about six cars in the process. In the morning there was a police car out there, and some car owners taking photos of the damage for insurance purposes, and one dumbass trying to climb over a waist-high downed power line to get to his car rather than walking around the block, until the cop stopped him by turning on his siren.


Anyway, as of this morning the tree was still there, surrounded by Do Not Cross barriers with two crushed cars underneath it. Crappy way to start out the week, huh?

In other news, I know I don't normally get all pop-culture here on the blog, even though I do love Red Carpet Fashion Awards for its non-ironic, very interesting take on fashion and read it every day. But as you probably already know, I adore Sex and the City, and I can't wait for the movie to come out, and last night was the premiere in London. (And also, um, why London? Wrong city! But let's move on.)

So anyway, Sarah Jessica Parker being known as somewhat of a fashion icon, and her three co-stars attempting to keep up, I was dying to see what they all wore to the premiere. And they did not disappoint. I knew SJP would be outrageous (I swear that hat is almost as tall as she is), but wow, was I ever not expecting to see quite so much boob from Cynthia Nixon. My. Goodness. The only one who disappointed me was Kristin Davis--that neckline is way too Charlotte.


Oh! And also yesterday? My sister and I assembled a mock wedding invitation, and it looks SO GOOD. It has wrong colors and crooked cutting and everything, because it was just to get an idea of how it would all work, and yet I am in love with it, because it is so nice and it is also OUR WEDDING, for REAL like IN PRINT. So we went to Paper Source and bought all the supplies, and even with unexpected things like 12 rolls of double sided tape and a circle cutter and all number of random other extras, it still came out to way less than what we would have had to pay for a very simple invitation from an actual store.

AND this invitation includes all sorts of amazing little details that wouldn't have fit our budget if we'd ordered them pre-assembled, like vellum envelope liners with silver leaves, and a pocket with scalloped edging and polka dots, and oh, it's perfect, just perfect. And I know I totally rolled my eyes when people talked about how your invitation matters because it is the first picture that people get of the wedding, and therefore it's representative of you and your wedding plans. But actually? This invitation is so perfect, and we both like it so much, that now? I totally understand that concept. And I feel like we totally nailed it.

Even though the assembly is going to be SO MUCH WORK and I'll probably be posting in a month about oh my god WHAT WAS I THINKING is it too late to just order invitations from a store and have someone else do all the dirty work? And that's when it will be YOUR job to point me back to this post and remind me why I'm doing all this work. Because they are perfect. And that is worth the work. So once I'm knee-deep in hole punchers and bone folders, remind me of how great the finished product will be, would you? You guys are the best.

Retro TV

So earlier this week, Stephanie and I were gchatting (as per the usual) and somehow the topic of Clarissa Explains It All came up. And no, I don't remember how. But I do remember that I was beyond excited to think about that show, and Clarissa's obnoxious brother Ferguson, and her friend Sam who always showed up at her window on the ladder, and her ridiculous parents.

I was SO very excited about Clarissa, in fact, that I went straight to Amazon and ordered Season 1 on DVD. Would you believe that that thing has 5 full stars out of 43 reviews? That's how genius this show is. The DVD arrived yesterday, and Torsten was working late, so I sat down last night after work and watched two episodes. And wow, they ARE pure genius. Clarissa's insane outfits are awesome. And one thing I noticed that I totally missed when I was a kid is that she is totally tech savvy and on the cutting edge--designing scenario simulations and video games on her giant early '90s computer. I love that.

Anyway, the show was pretty much just as brilliant as I remembered, and it reminded me of other shows that I totally loved when I was a kid, and by kid I mean anywhere between the ages of 6 and 12. I wasn't allowed to watch much TV, so my list is limited, but there are definitely a few standouts:

• Mad About You. I was probably a bit young for this show at the beginning, and I'm sure I missed a lot of the innuendo and adult themes, but damn did I love it. I especially loved Murray, the adorable dog.
• Family Feud. I have always liked game shows and Family Feud was the very first one. I watched this show pretty much every day with my parents. I loved the families that all looked alike the best, and I loved how useless so many of the contestants were. Of course, Ray Combs didn't kiss the female contestants the way Richard Dawson used to, but the show was still great.
  
• Life Goes On. Okay, I was definitely too young to really understand this show, but I loved it because my whole family watched it together. Also, it was while this show was still on the air that I found out that my uncle was HIV positive, and the HIV-positive character on the show helped me to understand that.
• The Wonder Years. I don't know if there's even much to say about this show. It was brilliant. I adored it. I thought Winnie Cooper was beautiful. I secretly preferred Paul to Kevin. Was I alone in that?

Wow, now that I've created this list, I'm realizing that I totally wasn't into conventional shows targeted at my age group. Am I the only one? What shows did you love when you were a kid?

Top 24 initial impressions

Okay, it's time for this year's reprise of last year's American Idol Contestants I Like post. First of all, let me just lodge an official complaint that this year's photo background is blue, which is a HUGE step down from last year's gorgeous purple background. This needs to be rectified. Pronto.

Now, let's start with the guys, since they went first. And can I just say as a general complaint to approximately nine out of the twelve of them? Come on, guys, what is with the camera fucking? Seriously. SERIOUSLY. Please, stop it. And especially stop it with the accompanying "aw, shucks"/"I am outside your window with binoculars RIGHT NOW" smiles. Kthanxbai.


David Archuleta is just cute. I thought his voice sounded a little weird during the song, and I've come to the conclusion that it's because he could hardly breathe from nerves. But it was so sweet how he was all breathless afterward. I think he'll be around for awhile.


Danny Noriega is very, very androgynous, but at least his pants were tight enough to make it clear that he is actually male. He's an interesting, fun performer, but his singing wasn't nearly as good last night as it has been earlier. The only reason he's really on my list is that he didn't look directly into the camera once during his performance, and that was SUCH a refreshing change.


Jason Castro was so cute and nervous and excited during the judge reactions. And I thought he was great. And I was so impressed with the guitar and the singing and the way that he did the pacing. He made it his own, as the judges are so fond of talking about. And he's so sweet and overwhelmed, like Melinda last year except that he has more than two total facial expressions.


Michael Johns was good, but I thought his rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody during Hollywood Week was better. Still, he's cute and a good singer and very charismatic. Though I didn't like the scarf. And why, why, WHY does he have to be a camera fucker? I mean, come on. Stop STARING like that. At least there were no awkward sideways smiles like some of the other guys.

Now, the girls. Let me note that I thought there were a lot more good, interesting girls than there were guys. So I was a bit more selective with the girls than I was with the guys. Therefore, honorable mentions here go to Joanne Borgello, Alaina Whitaker, and Syesha Mercado. That said, here are my personal favourites.


One of the guys last night, I think the faux punk rock one, sang the same song as Brooke White, but hers was much, much better. I don't want to like her because I don't usually go for that innocent good-girl thing, but I just think her voice is great and interesting. And I like how relaxed she is on stage. Also, thank god she appears to be growing out those heinous bangs.


Alexandréa Lushington is totally gorgeous (though I was NOT a fan of that semi-pigtailed look she had going on last night), and her voice is just really effing great, and she has all this personality. I heart her. This was the first time this week that I completely disagreed with Simon's assessment.


Asia'h Epperson has a really cool voice. I like that sort of hoarse aspect she's got going on. I heard that in her audition and thought it was the whole overcome with emotion due to the recent death of her father thing, but apparently not. She has personality too, although I didn't like that weird dance thing she did when Simon said she was his favourite of the night.


Ramiele Malubay is just really fucking good. That's all there really is to say. Oh, and also I hate her hair.


I did not like the song choice with Carly Smithson tonight, at all. I thought it was boring and the performance wasn't that good. She clearly chose it just to showcase her voice. And her voice is great. But the song sucked. However, I just discovered that she used to be Carly Hennessey before she got married, and now I've finally figured out the story behind a song that someone put on a mix CD for me awhile back, "I'm Gonna Blow Your Mind." I used to really like that song and now I'm totally startled at the connection. I hope she comes back next week with an interesting performance and a less sack-like outfit.

What did you AI lovers out there think?

Weather, Emmys, and commercials.

As I'm sure all of you noticed, the weather this weekend was beyond amazing and into the realm of delectably perfect. Torsten and I took full advantage on Saturday afternoon by using our Zipcar membership to obtain a Mini Cooper convertible for a few hours. We drove down the George Washington Memorial Parkway to Mt. Vernon, although we did not actually get out of the car when we got to Mt. Vernon. The GW Parkway runs alongside the Potomac River, and it was all clear and blue and sparkly and there were sailboats and people picnicking in the grass and it was generally just dreamy.

The unfortunate downside to this weather is that the heat is not yet on in our apartment building, which is one of the cons of not paying your own utility bills--they are very stingy with the expensive climate control system. At least when it gets hot in April before the air conditioning is turned on, you can use a fan and try not to die. But we don't have a space heater, and oh god, it was so cold last night. It was 55 degrees out, and it felt like no more than 57 degrees in the apartment. It was so cold that while we were watching the Red Sox-Yankees game (over which I am still bitter, incidentally), the light blanket we keep on the couch was not enough, and we had to go get actual bedding in order to keep ourselves from freezing. And I was almost late to work this morning because I could not bring myself to turn off the nice, hot water in the shower and step out into the frigid bathroom.

Unrelatedly, can I just mention how gleeful I am that FOX did not win a single Emmy last night? Yes, I know that half my favourite shows are on that channel. But that's just a coincidence, and since I don't like FOX, and especially FOX News, I retain the right to feel snobbily pleased that they were overlooked. Especially because they were the ones broadcasting the show. How about that Tony Bennett, though, huh?

Since apparently today is Random Tangent Day, I'd like to file a complaint about obnoxious commercials involving children who talk like adults. AIG and Verizon FiOS are especially guilty of this. Yes, the FiOS kid is cute, but only when he keeps his mouth shut. No, I don't want to hear a bunch of brats sitting around at the cafeteria discussing saving for retirement using big fancy words because ha ha ha, isn't it hysterical when kids talk like financial advisers? And yes, I would consider disowning my child if he woke me up in the middle of the night to rant like an accountant about how I was mis-managing my money.

On the other hand, Torsten and I both love love love the latest American Express commercials. Torsten cracks up every single time he sees the one with John McEnroe, even though he's seen it at least twenty times by now. It's really cute. Much cuter than those AIG and FiOS brats.

Anyway, now it's your turn. Those of you who don't use your DVRs to skip all commercials, what commercials do you especially like or dislike? Also, is it sad that I'm extremely eager to hear your thoughts on TV commercials instead of something more worthy?