My first caucus

On Super Tuesday, 1.5 weeks ago, I attended my first-ever caucus. We moved to Colorado in 2009, one year after the last Democratic presidential primary. Colorado does closed caucuses (only registered members of the party can participate) and in non-presidential election years, I've always received a paper ballot in the mail for the primary, so this was my first-ever opportunity to participate.

A side note about caucuses and voting in general: I actually don't love the caucus concept as a political process, because I find the barrier to entry to be prohibitively high. It takes a lot longer than voting, first of all, and while you CAN bring kids with you, it did not appear to be a very pleasant experience to do so, which means that single parents or couples who both want to vote would need to either wrangle their kids in a hot, crowded, boring, slow-moving caucus for a couple hours or pay for childcare or... you know, not attend. Also, because everyone has to show up at once, the parking situation is completely insane. And, the whole speeches for candidates, everyone band together on various sides of the room and try to convince the uncommitted people to come to their side thing is just... I don't know, it seems like there's a lot of room for blurring lines, is all. The argument I keep hearing in favor of caucuses is that it means only the people who truly care and are involved in the political process make the decisions, which sounds nice until you think about it more and it starts to sound more like an argument to keep affluent white people in charge.

On the plus side, when we AREN'T having caucuses, Colorado does vote by mail, which is AMAZING... the ballot shows up a few weeks before the election, you fill it out, you put a stamp on it, you send it back, you're done. No waiting in line, no having to get time off work to go vote, no having to find a polling place. It's GREAT.

Anyway, back to my caucus experience. I personally did not suffer from the childcare issues I mentioned above, because Torsten is not a U.S. citizen and can't vote, so he stayed home with the kids while I attended the caucus. The caucus was held at a high school near enough to our house that I could walk there, thank goodness, because as aforementioned, holy traffic and parking issues, my goodness. The walk over felt sort of pleasantly neighborly--I encountered a neighbor waiting for another neighbor to walk over, and they invited me to join them, which I did, and then we gave directions to someone else who was trying to find the school, and everyone was sort of cheerful and chatty and it was lovely. (Also, there was only a Democratic caucus that day, so it wasn't like there were Sanders and Trump fans glaring at each other or anything.)

The caucus started at 7 and the precinct captain who canvassed our neighborhood told us to plan to arrive between 6:30 and 6:45. We walked in at about 6:40 and the place was PACKED. It was absolute chaos, standing room only, and totally nuts. The high school was the polling place for about 10 different precincts, and each precinct had its own sign-in table in the main hallway with a sign on the wall with the precinct number, but the hall was SO full and crowded that it was impossible to see the signs. There was also a huge line of people who didn't know their precinct number and were waiting to look it up, but thankfully our precinct captain had handed out little cards with our precinct number on them, so we were spared that hell. It took probably about 15 minutes of elbows-out neck-craning to figure out where our precinct check-in was, and then there was actually no line for it so we were able to sign in and head into the cafeteria very quickly. The worst part, though, was this woman in a wheelchair who needed to use the restroom, and it turned out that the restrooms were on the very far end of the hallway on the other side of the massive crowd, and there was just no possible way that she was going to be able to shove through all the people, so she had to just not use the restroom.

The crowd in the hallway to check in

Anyway, we got in the cafeteria, which was equally full of people and also very, very hot, and managed to find a place near a door that someone had propped open, so that helped. I was assuming that the voting itself would take place in the cafeteria, but that turned out not to be the case. A little bit after 7 they got started, even though tons of people were still checking in out in the hallway. Whoever was in charge, and I still don't know who that was, led the Pledge of Allegiance, and then two people split the duties of reading all the caucus rules out loud. Even though they had a microphone, the room was so loud and crowded that the people at the back couldn't hear at all, and kept yelling in annoyance for them to speak up. However, it turns out that you don't really need to hear what's being said at this time? It seemed very procedural. They were legit reading all the articles of the caucus law, including the actual article numbers like 4.a.1 or whatever, down to the full mailing address of where to send any protests to, and I get that they need to do that, but I personally didn't feel the need to actually be able to decipher what they were saying. Next time, I think, I will come by 7, check in, and then hang out in the hallway until the first part is done and it's time to break down by precinct.

A corner of the crowd in the cafeteria

Anyway, so, they read all the rules and then people had an opportunity to make speeches in favor of candidates, which a bunch of people did--not for presidential candidates but for the local stuff that was also happening that night (state senator, district attorney, and university regent). It was interesting to hear the speeches but I had no real idea who to vote for in those races, and the speeches didn't help with that because of course they just all made everyone sound great, but they were only a minute long apiece and didn't get very into the weeds.

After about half an hour, they read out the classroom numbers that each precinct was assigned to, and we all went off to find our rooms. My precinct was in a science lab and we all sat in those little chairs with desks attached to them. There were about 60 people there and our precinct captain for Hillary was there, but there was no precinct captain for Bernie, which evidently there was supposed to be, because the Hillary precinct captain only had the paperwork for Hillary, so while a Bernie supporter volunteered to be the precinct captain, it took some time to hunt down someone at the caucus who had the appropriate paperwork.

So, the precinct captain had us split up in a straw poll, Hillary supporters on the left side of the room, Bernie supporters on the right, and uncommitted at the back. It was about a 2:1 split Hillary:Bernie, with two people going to the back to say they were uncommitted, which opened the opportunity for people to make little speeches in favor of their candidates to try to sway the uncommitted people. A few people did that for each side, actually pretty interesting and quite civil, and then the uncommitted people asked how Bernie was going to fund his proposed policies, nobody could give a satisfactory answer, and they both went over to the Hillary side. (I actually suspect that they were Hillary supporters the whole time and were trying to make a point). Then we did a final vote, and the captains for each candidate counted, and a second person counted behind them to confirm, and then they filled out all the paperwork and our precinct awarded two county delegates for Hillary and one for Bernie. Then we selected who actually wanted to BE those delegates, including alternate delegates, and attend the county convention (which is evidently scheduled for the Saturday night right before Easter? Which is also spring break for Denver public schools? Which seems like a puzzling choice, but whatever). Only a few people volunteered, so everyone who volunteered was selected. The whole presidential piece took about half an hour, maybe a little longer, and our precinct captain commented that it had been very efficient and we had made record time.

At this point things started to go off the rails. The presidential vote was done and the paperwork filed, and that all went smoothly, but we were still supposed to deal with the state and local questions, but there wasn't really anyone running the show. The Hillary precinct captain who had been managing things thus far had only been trained on the presidential piece, and the Bernie precinct captain had only just become precinct captain half an hour prior and wasn't trained at all. The Hillary precinct captain sort of took over and did her best, but it was very confusing, and I never fully figured out the rights of it. Basically, there were candidates for each of the three positions that people had made speeches about in the cafeteria earlier, but apparently we were supposed to just pick one set of local delegates who would vote for all three positions? But also, most people weren't very familiar with the candidates for each position and didn't have strong opinions, and somehow it seemed that we were supposed to vote for district attorney candidates as a proxy for selecting delegates, and the state senator and university regent positions did not get voted on, even though the delegates would be voting for those people too? Which was puzzling, especially because of the three positions, the only one I had any opinion on at all was state senator, but we did not take a vote on state senator. And it wasn't like people were running as a bloc, where if you picked a certain DA candidate you were also voting for a particular senator and regent candidate, so basically it was just all really confusing. Finally, a couple people who were aware of the races gave speeches in favor of various DA candidates, which were a little more useful than the ones in the cafeteria because they talked about some of the actual issues and stances like who had taken a stance against the death penalty and promised not to pursue it, etc., and we all voted, and then somehow we picked some delegates and I guess those people are just going to go to the county convention and vote for whoever they want for state senator and university regent? I'm still confused about this.

After that, which took about another half an hour, the precinct captain said she was pretty sure that we were done and could go (though really, you can leave a caucus at any time, you're not required to stay or anything, but you only get to vote for things you're actually present for, so you can't, like, show up, sign in, tell someone your preferred presidential candidate, and leave again before the vote if you want your vote actually counted), but she went off to check with the people running the caucus to be sure, and while she was gone one of the people who was originally uncommitted raised his hand to propose a resolution eliminating superdelegates, and then someone else was like, this isn't the place for that, and then they started having a (civil) argument about whether it was or not, and apparently it is? In that you can raise a resolution for anything at all at a caucus and try to get it passed, and the idea is that that's how regular people get involved in the political process? Which is all good and well, but frankly I'm guessing that a random dude wearing a cowboy hat at a high school in Denver isn't going to be the impetus for eliminating superdelegates, and it was hot and I was feeling maxed out, so I left, along with the two neighbors I had walked in with, and we all walked home together. I got home at about 8:45, so altogether, including walking time, I was gone for a little over two hours.

Altogether, I would say the experience was equal parts fascinating and tedious, but I know that Colorado has tossed around the idea of replacing our caucuses with regular primaries (and I believe, though I'm not sure, that the reason they didn't do that this year was something to do with scheduling--the caucus could be earlier in the year than a primary would be allowed to be--and they wanted to maintain their national relevance, so they kept it). But I have to say, I do really hope that they move to a regular primary system in the future, because it is both easier and more accessible for all voters. Still, I'm glad I had a chance to attend a caucus at least once, if only for the experience.

We live in such a cool place

OK, fine, this particular cool place is more like 1.5 hours away from where we live, but whatever. Isn't it cool that you can get in the car and before anyone even has time to fall asleep, you can be at THIS? "This" being Rocky Mountain National Park, where we've been before--and previous times we took our nice camera and got lots of amazing pictures--whereas this time we left the big camera at home because it's so bulky, so the photos below are from a whole bunch of different phones and more portable cameras.

My host family was blown away--they are total country/mountain people so all of Colorado was really their jam, unlike New York, where they spent a day at the end of their trip and were less than impressed. But RMNP pretty much impresses everyone... it's so beautiful and the altitude is high enough that you really feel it and it makes you feel pretty badass.

We got lucky with the animals, too--before we even got in the park we saw two moose, a mother and baby, which was super exciting for all of us because none of us had ever seen a moose before. Further in the park we also saw marmots, prairie dogs, elk, and a deer and fawn. My host family was also very impressed by the chipmunks--I guess it doesn't take much!

We happened to be there during the brief annual window when Old Fall River Road was open, so we drove that, which was fun and only slightly daunting (but totally safe at slow speeds) with the hairpin curves, narrow road, and lack of guardrails, but worth it for the lovely views. We also took a couple short walks, including one up to 12,000 feet for panoramic views (Annika climbed all the stairs--probably 200-300 steps--all by herself), but sadly we did not have time to do the hikes around a couple lakes that we had planned for the eastern side of the park. We spent a total of maybe six hours in the park, and it was not nearly enough. We'll go back soon.

International House of Cool, round 2

My host family (well, part of it) from when I studied abroad in France in high school is currently here visiting me, and it's delightful. This is their third time visiting us (first one of my host brothers came to visit us in DC, and then my host parents and my other host brother came to our wedding) and their first time coming to Denver as their last two visits took place when we were living in DC. It's nice because for the first time we actually have a house with a guest room and so we can accommodate multiple guests (when it was just my host brother visiting, he stayed on a mattress on the floor of the living room of our apartment,--where he accidentally saw Torsten naked--and when three of them came for our wedding, they stayed at a hotel).

This time, all three of them are here at our house! They're sleeping in proper bedrooms and they have a bathroom all to themselves! We have cars, even, where we can drive them around! It's all super convenient! And it makes me feel like such a grown-up. I met them when I was 17, so I've known them for close to half my life now, and of course they saw me through all of my young adulthood, you know, dorms and apartments and visits on the cheap and so forth, and now here I am, with a house and a mortgage and a husband and two kids and a dog and multiple cars and, you know, just all very Norman Rockwell. It's a big change, but it's nice.

Anyway, long-time readers (er, VERY long-time... as what I'm about to reference happened almost EIGHT YEARS AGO my goodness) may remember that when my host brother Yohan came to visit, we started calling our apartment the International House of Cool (IHC) due to the concurrent German, French, and English that was ongoing. And now the IHC is back, but even MORE so, because now we have the kids so there's a lot more ongoing German speaking happening, plus more than one French person here so they frequently speak amongst themselves, plus I speak English with the kids and Torsten, so basically it's a huge mess of languages, which is very worldly but also very confusing, especially for those of us (Torsten, me, and the kids) who are bilingual and constantly switching back and forth.

Also, as an aside, Callum has been happily speaking only German with Torsten since we returned from Germany (before he would always try to respond in English), but the last couple days he's been trying to switch back to English. I think he's feeling overwhelmed by all the languages. I reminded him that now that he's been to Germany he speaks 4,000 German (his words) and at first he was like, "no, I only speak a little German," which is what he always used to say, but then he lit up and was like, "no, I speak 8,000 German! No, 90,000 German!" and then he said something to Torsten in German, so hopefully he just needed a little reminder...

Also, they've only been here a few days but the kids both took to them right away. My French host sister has two kids the exact same ages as ours, and it's like our kids can tell that these are people who love and understand them. Callum in particular has really taken to all of them. He can't pronounce their names so he just calls them all "the French people" and distinguishes them by the color of their clothing. He loves playing racecars with Emilien (my 16-year-old host brother) and last night he sat down on the couch with my host dad and had a cuddle. I mean. Can you even?

Also, Emilien plays baseball in France (very rare--they claim it's my influence even though he was only two when I lived with them my GOODNESS has it really been 14 years holy crap it HAS) but you can't find good baseball equipment in France and what you can find has to be ordered through a catalog so you can't try it out first, so I took them to Dick's Sporting Goods where he got himself a nice glove, bat, and helmet, plus pants and a belt, and he is extremely happy now. He was also deeply impressed by how they broke the glove in for him using their fancy steam machine. (He wants to play for the MLB eventually--which is hard from France because apparently scouts only go there once a year--but we'll see! We're taking him to see a Rockies game next week and we'll see how he feels about the MLB after that. Also, too bad the Rockies are terrible this year, like most years.)

And, they brought us all sorts of delicious forbidden French treats (sorry customs!). This isn't even all of them--there's also lots of homemade treats including jam, olive oil, lavender essence, and herbal alcohol:

Anyway, Torsten and I are working while they're here, so they've been entertaining themselves quite nicely--yesterday they took the light rail downtown and checked out the capitol, the mint, Union Station, the 16th Street Mall, and a couple of the museums, and today they drove themselves to Red Rocks to explore. This weekend I think we're going to take them to Rocky Mountain National Park, and next weekend to Colorado Springs to see Pikes Peak and Garden of the Gods. They're also going to do a three-day road trip next week to Arches National Park, Durango, and Great Sand Dunes National Park. As far as other activities, I've also suggested a day trip to Boulder. So that takes up most of their time, I think, but if they have additional free time, any thoughts from locals or people who've visited here on what in particular they should check out?

Also, I've been trying to introduce them to restaurants that serve things you can't find in France. We're going to take them to our favorite sushi place (they have sushi in France but not the fun crazy rolls you can get here), for BBQ, for Mexican, for Chinese, for top-quality burgers... what else? Any thoughts on stuff that is uniquely American that they should check out while they're here?

On biking. And also fatness, accidentally.

Torsten and I had been talking about getting bikes for awhile before we finally bit the bullet about a year ago. We'd even gone to try out a couple models when Callum was a toddler but fallen at the final hurdle of the expense, particularly because we knew we wanted another baby and I was squeamish about the idea of being a novice bike rider while pregnant and also stuck on things like whether to buy a double trailer for the kids under the assumption that we would be lucky enough to have a second kid or not count our chickens and buy a single trailer that might not be sufficient for our lives a couple years later. So we kept talking about bikes and not buying them, until last spring, when Annika was six months old and sleeping well and we were both feeling more human and more up for it.

The thing was, the other reason why I had never been super pushy about getting the bikes was that I had this secret idea that maybe I wouldn't really be able to do it. I had a bike as a kid, of course, and I did use it, but I was... well, I was bad at it. I had one of those 10-speed bikes with a plastic piece on the handlebar that you turned to shift, but I didn't understand how the gears worked, how to shift properly, what gear I needed in any given situation. I would turn the gears at random until it felt like I could pedal, more or less, and then just leave them there. For lower gears, when I shifted into them it felt like my legs were spinning helplessly so I would shift right back out again. Which meant... well, it meant I could never get up hills. Because I wasn't using a low enough gear. Because I didn't know how. We lived on a corner at the bottom of two uphill streets and whenever I went for a bike ride I would just... pedal up the hill as much as I could and then walk the rest of the way.

It says something about my physical self-esteem and general personality at the time that I didn't, I don't know, ask someone for help? Say something like, "Hey when I'm riding my bike I always have to walk it up hills because I can't pedal to the top, am I doing something wrong? Is there a way?" But I didn't ask those questions. I didn't mention the fact that I found bike riding so hard. And the reason is because I thought it was due to the fact that I was fat. I thought I was too fat and out of shape to ride a bike properly and I was embarrassed to tell anyone that I was so fat I couldn't ride a bike like all the other kids and so instead I spent years walking my bike up hills while berating myself for being so fat.

Healthy! I know. And depressing to remember, and also apparently something that stuck with me because when Torsten first suggested, a few years ago, that we look into getting bikes, I panicked and told him that I didn't think that was a good idea because I was bad at riding bikes and too fat to get up hills. (Possible progress? That I was willing to at least TELL someone that I thought I was too fat to ride a bike?) In response, Torsten stared at me incredulously and was like, "What are you talking about? Anyone can ride a bike, even up a hill, if they use the right gear." And I was like, "...gear?"

This is going to sound super froofy, or something, but truly one of the most healing experiences I've had was the time we went to the store and test-rode our bikes, and Torsten explained to me how the gears worked and which gear to use for what, and then we went out and rode them around near the bike shop and got to a hill, and when the pedaling got too difficult, instead of climbing off and walking the rest of the way, I shifted to a lower gear and kept going, and then shifted to an even lower gear and kept going, and got all the way to the top of the damn hill. Me. On a bike. Not next to the bike, but on it. At the top of a hill. It was so FREEING, to realize I could do it.

So a year ago, we bought bikes and we brought them home, and we started using them, and I basically put Torsten's promise of "you can make it up any hill in the right gear, I promise you can" to the test on the very first ride, because we rode over to the High Line Canal Trail, and to get back to our house from the trail, we had to ride uphill, very steep uphill, almost a mile. At the end, no less, after a tiring ride along the canal. Torsten had the kids attached to his bike in a trailer, and I remember both of us staring up the face of that daunting hill, already tired from our ride, and me telling him to just go, use whatever speed he needed to get up the hill and not wait for me, and I would do the same, and we would meet at the top, but I would probably have to walk. And then we rode up the hill. And yes Torsten was ahead of me, and yes I was slow, and yes it was really fucking hard, and yes by the end I was all the way down to the very lowest of all 27 gears available on my bike, but I got to the top of that damn mile-long steep hill without having to walk. Me and all my fat. We did it together.

Since then I've ridden up that hill many times, and while the hill and I are not friends, and riding up it is not pleasant and never will be, I can do it, and I know I can do it, because I've done it every time I tried. I have never once walked my bike anywhere, because I can always ride it, because bikes are a thing that I can ride, even on difficult hills, even though I am fat, and now I know this, and it is an amazing piece of knowledge for me. And I've hardly become a professional cyclist over the last year, but I actually like cycling by now, like it even when it's hard, love being able to go places and see pretty things and use my muscles and get exercise that isn't completely miserable, that is actually enjoyable, and that can be done as a family, and that feels really good.

Next week we are riding in a fundraiser race for Annika's school, just eight miles, not a huge ride, for me probably a little less than an hour of cycling, and when the call for participants came out, I was the one who eagerly went to Torsten and suggested that we sign up, and I've been the one looking for opportunities to get out there on our bikes and train, and explore new places. Me. I'm the eager one, because I like biking. I'm the one who likes cycling enough to sign up for an actual race, albeit a short, noncompetitive one (at least for me). Me, the girl who thought she was too fat to get up a hill, and was too embarrassed to tell anyone.

I didn't actually mean to take the post in this direction--I was originally just going to post about the lovely eight-mile training ride we did yesterday, and how much I enjoyed it, and how when we turned around at the four-mile mark so we could get home before dark I felt like I could have kept going and going, and how pretty it was and how I loved the feeling of the miles just falling away below my handlebars, and it was so enjoyable--and yes, yes, all those things, but I guess this other stuff was still in me and needed to get out.

Revelation: I am not too fat to ride a bike. I love riding a bike. I am so happy.

Me, a year ago, before my very first ride on my bike, 

a couple hours before I conquered that hill for the first time.

Long weekend and Manitou Springs

You know, it's been a weird spring. We had a relatively mild winter with lots of warm sunny days in February and March (interspersed with some snow, of course, but still, lots of days at the park in the middle of winter), and then sometime in April, things took a shift toward the cold and wet, and have stayed that way for over a month. This is very unusual for Colorado, and we are not pleased. The amount of wetness has been just totally insane. I really wish we could give some of it to California, because it's way more than we need or are used to.

Also, not sure if I ever mentioned it online, but Torsten changed jobs a little over a year ago, and our schedules shifted with the change, and it's taken us awhile to adjust to the new routine. The change in weather has felt more dramatic for that reason, I think... suddenly we are much more dependent on playing outside than we ever used to be. Thankfully our patio is covered, so when the kids get stir-crazy we can at least go outside a little, but it's not the same as running around the yard, horsing around with each other, playing on the swings, and going for walks.

 

This past weekend, the weather was still dubious (and in fact we did have rain and thunderstorms each evening), but we were so stir-crazy, and so happy to have a three-day weekend of family time with no work, that we decided to take a risk on the weather and drive an hour to the Colorado Springs area on Sunday in hopes of getting some good, pretty, active time in. Luckily for us, we were rewarded with weather that was cloudy sometimes, sunny sometimes, but only rainy during the portion of the day that we spent indoors.

We visited Helen Hunt Falls, which is accessible from the road without a hike, and then did the short (1/3 mile) but steep (200 feet in elevation gained) trail up to see Silver Cascade Falls, which was worth it even though Annika cried the whole way up because she wanted me to wear her instead of Torsten. Luckily she got over it at the summit and was perfectly cheerful the entire rest of the day. Callum also had a little moment partway up the trail after Torsten scolded him for walking too close to the edge where he sat down and refused to continue, but got over it after a few minutes and actually sang the entire rest of the hike.

We had lunch at Manitou Brewing Company, which was delicious (pork belly burger! Also Torsten said their beer was amazing). We walked (and Callum scooted) around Manitou Springs, which is adorable, in a touristy but beautiful way. We headed over to Red Rock Canyon to hike but it was closed because it's been so wet that the sandstone is currently very fragile (see? Too wet! California, please take our rain!) so we headed to Garden of the Gods instead, which turned out to be fabulous. We'd been there before, but somehow not realized that it's more than just the Central Garden; there's a ton of open space and lots of different hikes and it's all stunningly beautiful. We did stick to the Central Garden only because it has wide paved paths that were perfect for Callum's scooter, and it's enclosed enough that we could let Annika run around without worrying that she would, I don't know, fall off a rock or into a body of water or anything like that. We even brought Montana with us (poor, neglected puppy used to come with us on every outing until we had kids... now it's sadly much rarer for her to accompany us on long treks), and she had a great time too. We got home just before bedtime, everyone happy and tired, and both kids slept until 8:30 the next morning, so: WORTH IT.

The rest of the weekend was more low-key but also lovely... swim classes... friends over for lunch on Saturday, where we grilled out and were thankful for both our patio roof and our patio heater... a trip to a garden center for flowers for our barrel planter... the cooking and consuming of much delicious breakfast food... and lots of quiet family time.

 

It was the perfect balance of activities and down time, the kids were happy and well-behaved, and I think all four (five) of us came out of the weekend feeling rejuvenated on family time. Exactly what we all wanted. Even the dog.

Pumpkins, year 3

This annual trip to the pumpkin patch thing is eye-opening when it comes time to compare the photos. This year we waited until my in-laws arrived in town to go to the patch so they could come with us, meaning that it was close to Halloween and the pumpkin selection was poor. But, the activities were fun, the weather was great, and the crowds weren't as bad as we were expecting. A comparison of this trip across the last couple years (full set here):

2011:

2012:

2013:

And a bonus family shot:

Can't believe next year there will be four of us!

Pumpkins, or, a lot changes in a year

You guys, we went to the pumpkin patch and it was surprisingly better than I expected and Callum romped around the fields and loved the petting zoo and was really interested in the gourds and cried when we had to leave and it was fantastic etc. etc. etc. but the real POINT here is oh my god, look at the pictures from last year compared to this year. Is this even the same CHILD?

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 


I mean, REALLY.

How do I decide how to vote?

Despite the fact that this post is about voting, I swear it isn't actually going to be about politics. It really is procedural. Because voting is really HARD. And I don't mean the actual act of voting (especially because Colorado allows mail-in voting). I mean deciding what and who to vote for.

Some of the decisions are really obvious. President, for example. My vote there is quite decided (and has been for awhile). Representative too (I adore Diana DeGette). Colorado doesn't have a Senate race this year, but in years past I've been quite informed about those elections as well, and certain about my preferred candidate.

It's the smaller races that make it so difficult. The local elections, and the amendments. And specifically, the judges. There are SO MANY judges. And they aren't competing against each other! The question on the ballot is just whether they should be retained. A separate question for each judge, approximately 17 million questions in total. (OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little. But it's a lot!)

The amendments are the most difficult. The city of Denver does this awesome thing (do other cities do this too? I don't recall receiving anything like this when I was registered to vote in DC or in North Carolina) where they send out a booklet summarizing all the local ballot initiatives, what they're proposing, and the comments for and against them. Sometimes I can read the comments and tell where I fall on an issue (for example, there's a question about campaign finance reform on this year's ballot and phew, I could tell where I fall between arguments about corporate influence and arguments about money being the equivalent of free speech). But some of them are much harder to parse, because I don't know the context. And, the Denver booklet only addresses the pros and cons of local ballot initiatives, not statewide, so I'm on my own for the state amendments anyway.

And sometimes it's a question of more than just whether I generally agree with an issue: it's about the details of the proposal. For example, there's a ballot measure about legalizing marijuana this year. Generally speaking, I think it's silly for marijuana to be illegal, and I think the state could really do with the tax revenue. But do I understand the issue deeply enough to be able to read the amendment and figure out if I think the proposed approach is the right way to deal with this issue? No. The Denver Post helps by publishing editorials on most of the topics, but I don't fully trust the Denver Post, since I don't often agree with its political endorsements, particularly at the local level (I'm still really annoyed over their endorsements in last year's school board race). And I have yet to find a comprehensive local organization with which I share most or all of my political stances. So I end up having to cobble together a ton of research from a million different sources and often STILL don't really know how I feel about an issue.

It just seems crazy, you know? I am an educated, politically engaged voter, with clear stances on most issues and the desire and ability to do a lot of research. I think I am a pretty good example of an informed voter. And yet, the more I inform myself, the less informed I feel. And given that a lot of voters are not known for being super informed, I wonder how everyone else is making their decisions. Do they all know something I don't? Am I not tapped in enough to the political process? Why does it take me hours and hours of agonizing research and analysis to even start to come to a decision about over half the questions on my ballot? And, given the huge effort required for me to cast an informed vote, how helpful are these votes to begin with? What does the outcome mean? Do we really think every voter spent the time required to really understand the issues and stances and proposals on the ballot and cast an informed vote based on that understanding? Or are most people's votes based on bias and incomplete information? I mean, I'm doing tons of research and I still feel like my ballot is a hodge-podge of partisan half-understandings.

And the judges! Can someone please explain to me what I'm supposed to do about the judges? The thing that drives me the craziest is that they're basically impossible to research, because there is very little information available about them. So what is supposed to happen? Am I supposed to quickly Google their names to ensure there isn't some sort of major scandal or concern making the news about them, and assuming not, vote to retain them? Am I supposed to dig up information on all of them, and if so, where and how? Am I supposed to just assume that they're all fine and vote to retain them because I don't want to put someone out of a job? If this is what people mean when they talk about how important it is that judges are elected, I'm not impressed. I don't see how the vote to retain these judges could possibly be meaningful in any way. But maybe I'm totally misunderstanding how it's supposed to work.

But one way or another, it's going to take me from now until Election Day to figure out how I'm going to vote.

Four wins and no answers

OK. I know a lot of you don't care about sports, or Tim Tebow, and if that's the case I suggest that you skip over this post. Because I have a lot to say about Tim Tebow.

Context: For those of you who don't follow the Denver Broncos (our local football team), they drafted Tim Tebow in the first round last year. This was because the coach at the time, Josh McDaniels, bonded with him at camp or whatever and decided he was worth the risk. Tebow was a huge star at the University of Florida, but a lot of people believed (and still believe) that his success wouldn't translate to the NFL. He is also known for being incredibly, zealously religious. In college he wrote the names and numbers of Bible verses on his face paint during games (which, thankfully, the NFL prohibits). He did a commercial for Focus on the Family that aired during the Super Bowl. He is very, very religious and very, very conservative. And very, very controversial as a football player.

Last year the Broncos went 4-12. Toward the end of the season their starting quarterback, Kyle Orton, was benched (supposedly due to a minor injury) and Tebow was allowed to start three games. He went 1-2. Then in training camp before this season, they competed for the starting spot and Orton won it. He started the first five games and went 1-4. Halfway through the fifth game, when they were losing hopelessly against the Chargers, he was benched in favor of Tebow. Tebow came in and led a comeback that fell short of a huge upset win by a two-point conversion. He then became the starter (though when asked about the starter, the current Broncos coach refers to "Tebow... or whoever"). He is 4-1 when starting this season, meaning that the Broncos are now 5-5.

I can't stand Tim Tebow as a person. Nothing against religious people in general, or conservative people in general, but I find him specifically to be incredibly sanctimonious. Bible verses on his face aren't necessary. Talking about God all the time, in every single interview, isn't necessary. Advertising for Focus on the Family, a group that I find disgusting, bigoted, and deceptive, certainly isn't necessary. And I'm not completely convinced that he's skilled as a quarterback either.

Because here's the weird thing. Even though he's won four out his five games, every single win was close, and weird. He has never conclusively had a great game, the kind where he'd be considered the MVP. He had 3.5 terrible quarters before leading a charge to come back from a 14-point deficit with three minutes left against Miami. He led another comeback win against the Raiders. Even against the Chiefs, who are terrible, the game was way too close for comfort. And against the Jets last night, the defense won the game. They scored one of the touchdowns on an interception, and they limited the Jets to 13 points. Tebow didn't do a whole lot.

But beyond that, since McDaniels is gone, there's nobody in the Broncos management who believes in Tebow as a quarterback. And as a result they engage in the most conservative play calling I've ever seen. They call almost exclusively running plays. In the game against the Chiefs Tebow threw the ball, I believe, eight times all game. They only let him throw downfield late in the game when it's do or die. As a result, he's developing a reputation as a fourth-quarter quarterback. If the defense can just keep the Broncos in the game for the first three quarters, they seem to be able to pull out a win right at the end.

But it's frustrating. They traded their best receiver, Brandon Lloyd, for a fifth- or sixth-round draft pick because they didn't want to pay his salary for the next three years, during which time they expect to be in rebuilding mode and not win anything. So why are they being so conservative with Tebow? I just don't understand, if there's nothing on the line this year and it's all about the team's future, why they wouldn't test him. Why they wouldn't work on letting him throw the ball and seeing if he's any good and/or has any chance at becoming good. Why is it that after he's started five games and won four of them, nobody knows if he's any good or if he has a shot in hell at becoming the team's long-term quarterback? How is that helpful in any way?

I just can't get inside the heads of the coaches and play callers. I don't understand what they're doing. I think Tebow could potentially be good, or it could be like an anonymous Lions player said to the media after Detroit blew out the Broncos 45-10 a few weeks ago:

“Come on – that’s embarrassing. I mean, it’s a joke. We knew all week that if we brought any kind of defensive pressure, he couldn’t do anything. In the second half it got boring out there. We were like, ‘Come on – that’s your quarterback? Seriously?’ ”

As far as I can tell, that's what most of the NFL thinks of him. So the Lions must be wondering what the hell happened to the Chargers, Dolphins, Raiders, Chiefs, and especially the Jets, who are actually a pretty good team. How did the Lions blow the Broncos out so spectacularly and everyone else falls apart against them? How is Tebow winning all these games and yet nobody knows if he can even throw the ball?

(As an aside, last night after the Broncos beat the Jets the camera showed a group of players, mostly Broncos but also some Jets, led by Tebow, in what appeared to be a prayer circle, where they were all "Tebowing," i.e., kneeling on one knee with their heads bowed in prayer. I get why some of his religious teammates might be joining him in this activity after a game, but why would any players from the Jets, who were just beaten by this guy who is being mocked the world over with this exact pose, and who is considered a total loser by most NFL teams, possibly be interested in joining his prayer circle? I don't care how religious they are--I would think they'd rather pray on their own, not on camera, after a loss. But I guess we should consider this a beautiful show of unity and togetherness. Or something.)

Apparently he's starting to gain respect within the Broncos organization (certainly his teammates believe in him; unclear what management thinks) now that he's won so many games, but we still have no answers about his future. Or the Broncos' future, which is what I actually care about.

Basically, I want the Broncos to get it together. Figure out if Tebow will be their quarterback for a long time or not. And if not, start figuring out who his replacement will be, and send him to a team where he does have an advocate and will get a chance to play, and will get play calls that actually allow him to thrive. Plus, it's really incredibly boring to watch a game where every single play involves a running back plowing into defensive traffic. And every game we watch involves us yelling at the TV as the opponent makes adjustments for the play calling, and the play calling continues as though nothing has changed. Great runs in the first quarter, and then every run gets stopped at the line of scrimmage as the defense adjusts--and yet the Broncos continue running as though the defense will suddenly forget what they're doing and start expecting them to pass. Like the coaches think the running game is still as fresh and surprising as it was at first.

It isn't. It's boring. It's predictable. And somehow it feels like four wins in five games (and three wins in a row) were a fluke. That is a waste of time and money. I don't like Tebow as a person, but he plays for my team and I want to know if he has a chance to be a good quarterback or not. I wish the Broncos would do something to finally start looking for an answer to that question.

Farmers' markets

So. Labor Day. The end of summer, etc. Seems like the perfect time to start writing about farmers' markets, yes? Now that they're on their way out and all?

Honestly, I'm not sad about summer ending at all. Out here in Colorado we haven't had quite the misery that the East Coast experienced, but we did have the highest-ever August temperatures on record for Denver, and we smashed the previous streak of consecutive days above 80 degrees to smithereens, and, you know, our house doesn't have air conditioning. Thank god Colorado doesn't have humidity. (And there are many things I love about Colorado, but the lack of humidity? It might be the number one thing. It's definitely in the top five, at least.)

Anyway! Yes, fall. Cool weather, jeans, boots, sweaters, warm drinks, pumpkins, pretty leaves, etc. Also I am looking forward to a fall wardrobe not just for myself but also for Callum. Nothing is as cute as a little footed one-piece on a baby, and baby jeans are a very close second. So yes, I'm looking forward to fall.

But one thing I am not looking forward to is the lack of fresh local produce that fall brings. Except that you know where we have found to be the best place for really good local produce? Whole Foods. Isn't that sad? This is Colorado. It's an agricultural state. The whole state is full of farms. A lot of them are really close to Denver. I mean, when we replaced our fence we sold the old fencing to a nearby farmer for $150 (thank you, Craigslist). And when I decided I wanted to take Torsten to a goat farm for his birthday, I found one quite easily less than an hour away. You get my drift.

So why is it that all the local farmers' markets seem to totally suck? I mean, maybe we're looking in all the wrong places. But we've been to the huge popular farmers' market downtown, the tiny one near our house, and a couple other local ones in various suburbs. And we have never encountered more than two produce stalls at any of them, even the huge one. And all this year we haven't come across a single stall selling local jams. It seems to be mostly specialized stuff--salsas, pasta sauces, cheeses, sausage. I mean, that stuff is nice but sometimes I just want to go find some nice fresh local produce that isn't marked up to Whole Foods prices, you know?

And even the produce stalls that we do encounter aren't that impressive. They might have one or two nice-looking things, but as a whole it's nothing special. And whatever is especially good always sells out fast. Like we still haven't been able to buy any freaking fresh cherries at a farmers' market all summer because apparently they fly off the shelves.

And the big market, the really popular one where it's wall to wall people and drivers risk their lives to beat others to a parking spot? It's almost like a street fair. The vast majority of the booths seem to be selling prepared food. If it weren't so crowded it would be a great place just to go for lunch. But for local farmed products? Not so much.

I don't know what we're missing! It seems like here in Colorado there should be much better farmers' markets, but I am at a loss as to where we could possibly find them. I guess we have all winter to research and try to figure out what we're missing. And if it turns out that this is just how farmers' markets are around here, then maybe I have an idea for a new business come next summer.

What about where you live? Are there farmers' markets? Are they any good?

Bumper sticker war

Torsten and I have been living in Colorado for about two and a half years. We love it, and we're planning on staying here for the rest of our lives. But there's no denying that we aren't Colorado natives. Callum is, though. And now that I have a kid who's considered a Colorado native, does that mean I have more of a right to live here myself?

Because the thing is, Torsten and I aren't the only people who've noticed how awesome Colorado is. According to the Census bureau, Colorado's population grew by 16.9% from 2000 to 2010 (9.7% is the national average). According to the Denver Post, the state had the fourth highest growth rate in the country in 2008, and the seventh highest growth rate in the country over the past decade. The Post estimates that more than 50% of that growth came from people moving here from other states and countries.

And really, you can hardly blame them. Colorado is awesome. The weather is fantastic (we are known for our cold winters, and while we definitely have our cold moments, what some people don't realize is that we also have lots of mild snaps in the winter, with sunny days in the 60s, which more than makes up for some sub-zero snowy days, in my opinion). There's no humidity. The mountains are absolutely gorgeous, and so great for exploring in both summer and winter. The people are nice. We have a major airport. It's very dog-friendly. Denver is a good-size city and Boulder is a lovely smaller town. We have an excellent public university system. The cost of living is reasonable. And so on and so forth. Basically, there are a ton of reasons why we decided to move here when we could have moved anywhere--and obviously we weren't the only ones to come to that conclusion.

So, there are a lot of people living in Colorado who aren't from Colorado. Which is fine! Yay for an interconnected world where we don't all just set up house on our parents' property, or marry into the family on the next farm over, right?

Except that all these Colorado natives like to complain about the transplants. They complain that they're a drag on resources, that they're leading to urban sprawl, that they don't care about Colorado's heritage or its beauty, that they place undue pressure on fragile ecosystems, that they contribute to pollution and development and destruction. Some of the more conservative people also complain that the transplants, who for the most part tend to be more politically liberal and drawn to the Denver-Boulder corridor, are making this once-conservative place into a swing state.

Personally, as you can guess, I don't agree with most of these complaints. I love Colorado in a way that I've never loved anywhere that I lived before. I care about it. I take advantage of what it has to offer. And I boost its economy by living here, spending money here, and paying taxes here. I don't mind the tourists, either (and there are lots of tourists because of Colorado's great skiing), because they are a huge part of Colorado's economy as well.

I also don't see what being born and raised here has to do with how much you appreciate this state and how well you care for it. In fact, I think the argument could be reversed to say that the transplants moved here because they wanted to be here, whereas people who were born here might take it for granted. But that wouldn't make much sense either. Really, we are all given the opportunity to be responsible stewards of our homes, whether we've lived in the same place all our lives or not, you know?

But I do think it's pretty amusing that this clash has led to what I personally consider to be snooty bumper stickers. They are a play on the Colorado license plate, which looks like this:


Except they say NATIVE, like this, as though that's something transplants should be jealous of:


And of course, now there are the counter-stickers, which say TRANSPLANT, like this:


And I recently saw one that was in the same format but simply said BITE ME. Unclear if this was a big eff you to the entire back and forth, or simply a nod to Colorado's fly fishing opportunities. Either way, it made me laugh. My Google searching for these images also led me to variations that say things like XENOPHOBE and NO VACANCY. Strong feelings on both sides, apparently, as expressed through bumper stickers.

Even the state of Colorado has jumped on the bandwagon, offering a Pioneers license plate that, until recently, was only available to people who could prove that they were the descendant of someone who lived in Colorado 100 years ago (and the only reason the state stopped requiring this and started making the design available to everyone was because they found out that asking for this information was illegal):


What about where you live? Are there lots of people moving in? Or moving out? Are there tensions between people who've lived there forever and people who have newly arrived? Do you think it matters?

Springtime in the yard

First of all, I have to say, I don't know if it's because I've been living in some sort of new baby parallel universe, but while everyone else has been lamenting the weather, I've actually been feeling like this winter was... not so bad. I mean, yes, there have definitely been cold days and we did have one miserable snap when Callum was a week old (and of course exactly when my parents were here visiting) where the temperature was below zero and it was gray and snowy for days on end.

But overall it's been mild, I think. I'm pretty sure our average annual snowfall is around 60 inches, and I don't think we've gotten anywhere near that this year. We've had lots of sunny warm days, even shortly after Callum was born in January, where we were able to take him out in the stroller for walks. I've had a standing date with a woman from my childbirth class to go for a walk in the park once a week for over a month now, and we've had lovely weather for every single walk. We've even gotten some rain, which is a rare treasure here in semi-arid Colorado.

Anyway, with things feeling springlike for awhile now, we've taken the opportunity to do some work in our yard. Like homeowners. Adults. Isn't that weird?

It started with a few things: a gift, a Groupon, a gift card, and a windstorm. And now we are thinking of all sorts of things we'd like to do, and assessing which of those things could be feasible on our budget.

First, a very dear friend gave Callum a redbud tree as a baby gift. Actually, since she lives far away, she gave him a gift certificate to a fabulous local nursery with a request that we use it to purchase a redbud tree, which of course we did. It's now planted in the yard. It's still teeny, and just starting to bloom. Once all the blossoms open, we'll take a picture of Callum next to it, and turn that into an annual tradition so that we can watch him and the tree grow together. The same friend gave the same gift to my sister's baby, so Callum and Morgan can have matching redbud photos throughout their childhood.

Here's the tree currently:



Of course, while we were at the nursery we discovered all sorts of wondrous other plants and yard things that we'd love to have. So we had some discussion and decided that since someday when budget and time allow, we'd like to relandscape our yard completely, rather than planting a whole bunch of stuff in the meantime we would do one barrel of flowers on our front porch. So we did:


Then along came a Groupon for another local nursery. And once the redbud tree was planted, we thought wow, we should really put a couple more trees on the lawn so it doesn't look so bare. But not giant ones, because we don't want it to be overwhelmed. So maybe shrubs would work well. And the nursery just so happened to have lovely small lilac trees and snowball bushes for almost exactly the price of the Groupon:



Conveniently, some lights Torsten's parents bought us at Lowe's last year turned out not to be what we were looking for, so we returned them for a merchandise credit and used that gift card to buy some mulch and tree edging, as well as some fertilizer and grass seed so that we can reseed our yard, which as you can see is very much in need of it. We also finally got around to calling an irrigation company to check out the built-in sprinkler system in our yard, and learned that it seems to be nearly functional and should (knock on wood) be fully functional, or close to it, with just some minor repairs, which will hopefully be happening tomorrow.

We also pruned down our rosebushes and put new mulch in the front flower bed where the tulips grow (still waiting on them to bloom, but when they do, they'll be red and yellow):



And in the backyard, we had an awesome wildflower garden last year. Some of them are perennials but others are not, so we put down some fresh seed on top just to make sure it'll grow back nicely. Most of it still has a ways to go, but some lovely purplish blue flowers have already bloomed:


Oh, and the windstorm. Well, that sucked. We had a fence that looked like this (and still have this fence on one side of our yard):


But then it was super windy one night and when we woke up a giant panel from the fence on the other side of the yard had blown over and was lying in the grass. The whole fence was rickety and nearly 50 years old to begin with, so we knew it really just had to be replaced. Luckily our neighbor agreed, and there was no fighting or anything about who had to pay. We split the cost 50-50 for the side fence, and Torsten and I of course paid the full cost for the front part of the fence with the new gate, since that is on our property only, and just a few days later our fence looked like this:


Of course there are still a lot of other projects. Most of them we're holding off on because wow, this stuff is so expensive and time-consuming. But, Denver does an annual mulch giveaway for residents, all created from the Christmas tree pickup, and it's this weekend, so we're borrowing a neighbor's pickup truck and going to get as much mulch as we can carry, so we can mulch the treebeds by the driveway (and also maybe prune the bushes?)...


...and the treebeds where the aspens grow in the backyard:


Of course, there's one staple that we absolutely love and have no intention of changing, ever, and that's our willow tree:


Isn't it lovely?

What are you guys doing in your yards this spring? Or what would you like to be doing, if time and money were no object?