Thursday, October 4, 2007

Inadequate performances

I am rather grumpy right now because it is beyond freezing cold in my office, and yet it's supposed to be 90 degrees outside today, and both of those things are horrible to contemplate, especially given that it's October already. Also, we had a great and really fun volleyball match last night, but wound up losing, 2 games to 1.

I have the vague feeling that I am the worst player on the team, although still not wholly terrible. I am somewhat stymied in my volleyball skills by the fact that we play at a men's height net, which is so high that I can barely get my fingertips over it when I jump. This means no blocking and, worse, no spiking. Those were the things I was good at in high school. This renders me useless. I mean, not entirely. But I have a lot to learn about back row receiving and how to hit the ball from the ten-foot line so it goes over the net and then aims for the floor. In the meantime, my forearms are literally bruised (just lightly) from all the bumping.

But still, definitely waaay more fun than going to the gym. A nice way to mix it up, you might say. Even though the gym wasn't air conditioned. And I don't totally blame them for that. I mean, it is October. Who would expect it to be 80 degrees and humid in the evening? Huh? What's with the freakish weather? And please for the love of god will somebody FIX IT NOW? Thanks.

On another note, you guys are incredibly helpful, as always. I completely had no idea that you could add Amazon Prime to more than one account. After I read your comments last night, I went into Torsten's account and invited myself to Prime. That solves the biggest issue. And I think I can just avoid looking at the specific purchases on the credit card and just check out the balance to make sure we aren't going over the limit or anything. So we should be good.

I'm starting to feel like this post is missing a little something. It's too... update-y, perhaps. What fixes a post that's lacking that edge? That's right: a list! So, without further ado:

Things Other People do Effortlessly that I Cannot Get the Hang Of
  • Be engaged without forgetting that said engagement requires actual planning of a wedding
  • Take the newspaper out to the recycling bin every single day so that they do not wind up with piles of newspapers all over their homes
  • Wear high heels comfortably for more than an hour
  • Wear blush that looks natural (I stick with bronzer)
  • Actually get to the movies before the movie I want to see has stopped running in theaters
  • Straighten my hair with a ceramic flat iron (or any other tool)
  • Cook without a recipe (though I haven't tried since I started Weight Watchers, and all the experience I've had with their recipes might have taught me something about how to throw a few things in a pan without a recipe telling me exactly what to do--and even keep it healthy)
  • Host classy parties with more than ten guests
  • Get up before 10 a.m. without severe prodding
  • Run more than half a mile without stopping to walk
  • Drink beer without coughing
  • Write without using tons of parentheses
As I was making this list, I noticed that a lot of items on it had to do with being girly (makeup, hair, shoes, etc.). It would seem that I'm not very good at being girly. But I already knew that. Anyway, now it's your turn. What are some of the things you would put on this list for yourselves?


  1. I've always meant to ask you if those gorgeous curls of yours are natural. JEALOUS! :)

  2. ME TOO on the blush and also the parenthesis.

    I'm intrigued about the beer though. Is it a carbonation thing?

    I would add Remember My Cell Phone. I cannot do it and god forbid it needs to be charged. I will leave it on the charger for DAYS.

  3. Sticking with the theme of my post today, I would say: Save money.

    Also, the freezing cold in the office thing? I taped paper over all of my vents to try and stay warm - WHYYYYY must they crank the A/C even if it IS 90 degrees in October?!

  4. Like Tessie, I have trouble remembering my cell phone, keeping it charged, or getting it off the charger. I'm getting better at it, but I still suck.

  5. Oh, I hear you about the heels. They are evil.

    Funny - just last night I threw something together from scratch without a recipe FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. And it was yummy! You'll be doing this in no time, I swear!

    And I am sure you've noticed I use tons of parentheses myself!

  6. The only one of those things that I can do effortlessly is wake up before 10AM. Way before 10AM. The clock is set for 5:15 during the week, and I'm up by 7:00 on the weekends.

    The thing I add to the list...Make my hair look the way I want. I've given up, and I let my hair choose now.

  7. Well, I can only do 5 of those things effortlessly, and if I had to host a party for more than 10 people I would have a heart attack.

  8. I rather like hosting parties, and wearing heels often..

    but I can't ever remember/do effortlessly:

    1)buy toilet paper before that critical moment (you know the one.)

    2)Save Money

    3) Write meeting minutes up without hating every single moment of it.

    4) Keep in touch with people I love. I'm so bad at that!

    5) Enjoy Yoga classes. People LOVE it I can't stand it. All I want to do is move my body not hold it still in awkward/thigh burning positions.

  9. I am completely with you on heels. Can't do it.
    Also, I can't go out more than one weekend night in a row. I'm a nerd - I need my sleep.

  10. (am so behind on blogs right now! eek!)

    i cannot:

    -go to bed even remotely on time, no matter HOW tired i am.
    -plan ahead for meals. i either let food rot, or having nothing with which to make dinner when i do want to cook.
    -blog regularly, apparently.


  11. La--Actually, I posted about this once before, back when nobody read my blog. The post is here.

    Tessie--Not sure about the beer. I think it's probably the carbonation combined with the fact that I don't really like the taste.

    Stephanie--It's been freezing in this office ALL summer. Somebody needs to take a lesson in Climate Control in Moderation.

    JMC--I used to be like that, until I canceled my landline. Now my cell phone is the only way for people to reach it, so I usually remember it. Though I still leave it on the charger occasionally.

    Artemisia--I'm impressed! I will have to try a non-recipe dish soon.

    3Carnations--If I have to get up at 5:15, it's a hellish day that has to be made up for with a week of sleeping in. Seriously.

    Bubandpie--I could have a party for over ten people if it involved a 24-pack of beer and a big bag of chips. Anything classier than that and I have to limit it to the number of matching place mats I have, which is eight (including myself).

    Suzanne--I've gotten better at that toilet paper thing, but I never ever remember to get Listerine until the bottle is totally empty and I have to go a day without feeling minty fresh. Okay, now I sound like an addict.

    Banana--I also find that it is exhausting to go out multiple nights in a row. But it's easier on weekends because I can sleep in the next day.

    Alice--I also suck at going to bed on time, but now that I get up later, I've gotten better at it. Also, I love your blog and keep going to check it and being sad that there's nothing new.

  12. I am DEFINITELY in the save money boat. Other people can do it. I cannot. It sucks.

  13. so funny, because i can get up early, but CANNOT stay out late.

    another thing for my list would be remember to write thank you notes and send them. basic etiquette, yet somehow i can't seem to make myself get the hang of it.