Wednesday, April 7, 2010

On parties

Is it weird that I like to think about the big parties that we will throw when we're older? Because I do. Not often, but sometimes.

I've never been a big party thrower. We like to have people over for dinner, and we had people over for the Super Bowl once or twice, and I enjoyed hosting the book club, but we haven't really done any proper parties, big ones with music and lots of people, unless you count our wedding.

But, you know, our house is great for parties. I could definitely see holding holiday parties here, or indoor-outdoor summer grill parties, or dinner parties, or birthday parties... really, any kind of party. I'd love to hold baby showers and whatnot here, too.

But, right now, we hardly know enough people in Denver to throw a party. Pretty much everyone we know in town would have to come in order for it to qualify as a party. And the budget doesn't run to big fancy parties at the moment anyway. But really, it's the friend thing. All of our friends here have lived here longer than we have, and have real, deep connections. Point being, I wouldn't be the go-to person for hosting a baby shower for, well, anyone, you know what I mean?

I know that will change with time. And that's why I imagine parties in the future. Throwing a surprise party for Torsten for some major birthday (40? 50?). Graduation parties for our kids. A 10th or 20th or 50th anniversary party for us. An annual holiday party for all of our friends. That sort of thing.

I want to do that. I want to get to the point where we have the social network to do that.

I feel pretty settled here. I'm meeting people and spending time with people I've already met and it's been very nice. I think we've adjusted well in our first year here, and made some good connections that will last.

But I can't wait until I feel like we're a staple here, we have a group, we're grounded, and everyone knows to plan for our annual holiday party, or whatever. Even though I imagine it'll be a few years before we get to that point.

What about you? Do you host parties often? If not, do you think you'll start doing so at some point in your life? What kind of parties would you like to throw?


  1. We have people over at least once a month where it's a big party. We have a small place so 20 people is a big party. Last one we hosted was a Rock Band party and it wa sa hoot, some peole even dressed up for it.

    And then, we have a smaller group of people of 4-5 who we ahve over every now and then just because.

    I love hosting parties. Planning it, planning the menu, then making the food. It's so much fun!

  2. I host "girls night" about once a month where I have a handful of close girl friends over and we drink wine and talk. I love it. Anything bigger than that and I start to get overwhelmed.

  3. I am totally with you that it takes being in the right space in order to contemplate having parties. In my old place, there was really only one place to hang out, so I never had more than a few people over at a time. In our current condo, we've had parties for up to 20-30. Our space fits that many nicely and it's completely changed the landscape of organizing get-togethers.

    Why not start off small? Have a small Christmas party this year and build on that in years to come. That way, by the time you have a big enough network to invite 50 people, 20 of them will already be regulars at your event.

  4. I LOVE hosting parties/dinners/girls' nights in, etc. I get a little frazzled the day of, but I thrive on the nervous energy. :)

  5. We love to host people, but as time as marched on, our opinions on the ideal size of those get togethers have departed. K loves lots of people. The more people the better! Yay, crowds! We hosted a HUGE thanksgiving dinner 2 years in a row and it was insane. After the 2nd one I vowed not to do it again, but we'll probably do it again. Like childbirth, fond memories wipe away the painful realities of such an endeavor.

    I personally like small get togethers, 2-3 other people tops. I don't like flitting around from person to person in an endless smalltalk loop. I dont like huge cleanups afterwords. I don't like the chaos, which frankly tends to stress me out when I'm hosting, and I hate how looooong everything takes to get done. Like ordering dinner when at a restaurant? Or getting everyone to come into the damn kitchen and eat already? Or keeping eyes on all the kids trying to simultaneously grind playdoh into our carpet, punch the tv and hand tiny plastic toys to our baby. Blah.

  6. In DC I was part of a group that hosted nearly all holiday parties except Christmas. It was so fun. The parties were not at my tiny apartment, but at a friends condo. Mostly I helped clean the house after the party.

    Oh, I miss that. We were truly a little family out there.

  7. In our last house, in Fort Collins, we did sort of become party-giving people. It was partly that we had a big house, partly that I was kind of coming into my groove as a mom (just for no reason, we'd have "kid parties," where we'd invite everyone we knew who had kids--this was back when we were grad students, so "people we knew" and "people with kids" weren't the exact same subsets), and partly that we knew so many people in Fort Collins, after having lived there for almost ten years, that a big party seemed like the best/only way to see everyone. We'd also do dinners with friends at least once a week. I loved it, even if EVERY SO OFTEN I'd feel put upon ("how come WE'RE always the ones making dinner?")

    In our new place, however, we haven't been doing this. We have dinner with friends maybe once a month, if that. We've hosted exactly two large parties, and they were both for 8-year-olds. I don't miss the party-planning--I am not someone who is good at that (our big parties were always potlucks)--but I really, really miss having people over. I also miss having people to have over. I know that this state of affairs will change--but still. Right now it is kind of lonely.

  8. We've really only hosted big kids' birthday parties so far. We both have siblings and parents around, and aunts and uncles willing to drive, so even with just family they're pretty big affairs. Always crazy, but always fun.
    Oh, and for Jim's thirtieth we had a big bash, and wow was our house too small for it. Another reason I would like a bigger house, if it weren't for the whole selling our house/moving ordeal...
    We do have a huge backyard and a nice deck, though, so big summer parties are fine. I shouldn't whine.

  9. i love hosting parties! and like missris, my group of girls has a weekly "girls night" so i host/cook a fancy meal for them about once a month. it's a good reason to clean the house, too ;-)

  10. I LOVE hosting parties. We do host a lot in the summer, because we have a lot of yard room. However, we're lacking in the inside-party department in that we don't have a real dining room. I hope to correct that in coming years... then we'll be all about hosting every holiday we can. Luckily Jimmy loves to have people over just as much as I do.

  11. I think I should have been a party planner. Seriously, I love it that much. I don't love that I can't throw them for free but I'm getting better with creatively entertaining on a budget.

  12. we used to host parties all the time: Game night, Survivor night, Fleet Week part on the roof. But that was seven years ago when we lived in SF - where I had grown up and had a bazillion friends. Life in NYC is much much quieter (which sounds bizarre, I know). I look forward to the days of hosting parties again!

  13. I looooove throwing parties. Heck, I'm an Event Planner for a living so I guess it goes without saying, right? I threw myself a Roast when I turned 30. Hilarious fun party. I plan on doing it again when I turn 40. I can't wait to own a house and host dinner parties and wine tasting parties and game nights. My apartment is a bit small for that now though I have had a couple of gatherings. I love hosting people in my house. I'm totally like my Mom in that way. She is the consummate hostess with the mostess.

  14. I love parties! When I lived in the city, I had a huge apartment and I threw parties pretty frequently, including an annual St. Patty's Day bash. I also threw a Thanksgiving party the week before the actual holiday a couple years ago. I cooked two 20+ pound turkeys and had almost 40 people in my apartment! I loved every minute of it...except the cleaning up afterward, of course.

    I would love to come to one of your parties!!!

  15. Ack. Throwing a party is like MY WORST NIGHTMARE! I am so not a good hostess.

  16. I think that everyone our age is probably going through the "who would we have at a party" thing - whether they have tons of friends in their town or not - just because everyone is going through different life stages now, does that make sense? Some of our best college friends are still thinking that being on the Real World is their life goal, and we're well, not there.

    I'd say we throw one big party a year (not an annual thing though, just a for the hell of it party) and plenty of family dinners and showers or events when appropriate. I have party anxiety - worry that people won't get along, there won't be enough food or booze, people won't have fun, etc. B is totally unaffected by these fears and that has been good for me!