Friday, November 21, 2008

To-do

Now that the wedding is over, we have time to get back to normal life, which is great because there is quite a bit of stuff that needs to happen. I think November 1 is absolutely the latest in the year that one should have a wedding, because now we're back and it's almost the holidays and holy crap on top of the normal holiday stuff there's all this post-wedding stuff AND stuff that we didn't do while we were planning the wedding that really needs to get done.

So, before my head explodes from all the stuff I keep meaning to do, I thought I'd write it out here and also get you all to commiserate with me to make me feel better about everything that needs to get done.

1. Legally changing my name. I've made a list of all the places where that has to get done, and so far I've come up with 26. An unbelievable number, isn't it? But it's true: Social Security, my license, two banks (brick & mortar plus online savings), work, two passports (American and British), three insurances (health, dental, and renter's), two doctors and a pharmacy, cell phone, internet/cable company, Zipcar, BlogHer, my frequent flier account, and a bunch of credit cards. And probably something else that I'm not thinking of. I am really trying not to think about the heinous mounds of paperwork that are waiting for me.

2. Organizing our apartment. We'd been living together for over a year when we got married, and we each lived on our own for awhile before that, so we had quite a bit of domestic stuff already. So the gifts we registered for were mostly upgrades to the stuff that we already had: nice china instead of our parents' old castoffs, quality pots and pans instead of the starter set from Ikea, etc. And we got a lot of really fantastic gifts, but we have seriously nowhere to put them, because our apartment is not that big and cabinet space is limited. So we have to put all of our dishes and other old kitchen implements through the dishwasher and then pack them up to donate and put all of our new stuff in their places. And figure out where the hell we're going to PUT everything, because we definitely have more stuff now than we did before. AND since we're going to be making a big donation to Goodwill or wherever, I'd like to finally go through our closet and pull out all the clothes we don't wear and donate them as well. That way we can have a million boxes of stuff to donate and then we can just get a Zipcar for a couple hours and donate it all at once.

3. Writing thank you notes. I don't mind doing that at all, actually, because it's a great way to follow up with people after the wedding, and plus we got a lot of fantastic gifts and I genuinely want to thank people for giving them, but they will definitely take time. And I can already feel the hand cramps. I am very glad that we did a decent job of keeping up with the thank you notes for the gifts that arrived before the wedding.

4. Getting a Christmas tree and decorating it. This can't happen until number 2 has been completed, because all of our wedding gifts are currently languishing in the one space in the apartment that is big enough to hold a tree. But I really want a tree. I am bizarrely much more excited about Christmas this year than I am most years, and not because of the gifts. It's just that there was the wedding, and then the tropical vacation, and when we got back there were wreaths and Christmas lights everywhere, and I felt very happy and excited about that. I am looking forward to Christmas season, holiday parties, etc.

5. Buying gifts. I have some already purchased and others picked out, but there are still a fair few that I am totally stuck on. But I would really like to get my shopping done early so that I can stop thinking about it. There is no sense of satisfaction quite like the complacent feeling that you have finished your holiday gift shopping, as far as I'm concerned.

6. Getting my wedding gown cleaned and preserved. First of all, I have to figure out where to do this. Then I somehow have to get the heavy dress there (wherever there is--and I'm guessing it won't be conveniently located right down the street) and then pick it up again. And then, and this may be the most difficult part, I have to figure out where to store it in our small apartment. Hm.

OK, now I am simultaneously struck by how much stuff I have to get done and relieved to have it all written down and therefore somewhat organized. But please, reassure me: I'm not alone here, right? What stuff do YOU have on your to-do list right now?

38 comments:

  1. Yeah I'm not sure how people get married so close (or sometimes right after!) to the holidays. There's too much to do!

    I hope you get it all accomplished. :)

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  2. i never did #6 on your list and it's been over 4 years! oh well, the dirt adds memories :)

    i'm excited about christmas this year too --- it's our first as a family.

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  3. two graduate school papers, christmas shopping for the 12 year old and his dad, family get togethers, full time job oh and plan a wedding!

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  4. on the verge of finals, my to-do list contains lots of fun goodies like "finish immigration law flashcards" and "meet with scary tax law prof. so she can remind me that i am a dumb blonde." very exciting! ;)

    giving unused/unwanted items to goodwill is the BEST feeling ever! i love my house after it's all spiffed up and organized, and i love knowing that the items i loved will be loved by someone else.

    good luck!

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  5. Well, it looks like you have things at least organized... which is something!
    I spent the rest of the summer after we were married writing thank you notes (which included a pro photo of us), thank goodness one of our guests helped write up who gave what (In Iceland people bring the gifts to the wedding) so I was able to thank people and mention what they gave us!
    Although having read your no1, I am so relieved I kept my name... that sounds like way too much hassle.
    Good luck with all of it and I hope you have a blast planning the holidays as well :)

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  6. Your organization skills astound me!

    On my to do list? Sleep, more sleep and then maybe a nap :)

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  7. I think I finally got my name changed on my last bill, over a year later! It was a stupid company that wanted a copy of my marriage certificate, which I sent, and then it still took two phone calls to get them to change it.

    On my to-do list is to start and finish Christmas shopping, and find both Jason & I new jobs. Also, finish knitting my sweater that I started six months ago.

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  8. Lady, you are making me feel totally unprepared for the holidays. Probably because I am. It's like my brain doesn't quite believe me when I tell it Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK.

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  9. Yeah, I think you are the most organized person I know. Good luck gettting all that done! You can do it! :)

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  10. Man, I have been freaked out at the thought of planning a wedding (I'm newly engaged!) and now I am realizing that the insane list of crap to do doesn't end after the wedding. Ah!

    Right now my to-do list consists of just a few things: get through finals without failing any classes (hopefully getting Bs and up), wrapping my little guys Xmas presents, sending out invites for my baby's 1st bday, and cleaning my house before out of town company gets here Tuesday.

    Okay, I have more to do that I thought!

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  11. Piece of advice...go to the social security office FIRST! They need to see your license with your current name as your name proof. Then go to the DMV.

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  12. My to-do list is terrifying and overwhelming, so I'm not going to list it here, because all of it is SUPER LIFE-DEATH-LAWSUIT IMPORTANT and I will die if I read it again.

    Also, yes, go to the Social Security office first, then to the DMV and bring your marriage license. That's probably obvious to you, but it wasn't to me, and MAN, I made a shitload of unnecessary trips.

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  13. Hi! I'm mostly a lurker but I wanted to say hello and commend you on your to-do list. You are so on top of it.

    After my wedding it took me about six months to change my name. We won't even talk about the thank you notes. It was bad. If I might suggest on the name change thing, do the Social Security office first. It was the worst one for me but then once I had my new card, everything else was a piece of cake. Oh and when you go to get a copy of your marriage license, get like 5 or 6 certified. It's nice to have some for backup because you never know what you'll need them for.

    My to-do list now includes brushing, flossing, and getting to bed!

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  14. Oops, should have read the other comments first, people already suggested the social security office. Sorry! :)

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  15. *nervous glances* I still have to get my wedding dress cleaned and preserved (at least as much as possible - it had an organza overlay that got pretty trashed during out outdoor pictures by the lake). And we got married almost 6 months ago.

    That along with finishing up Christmas shopping and organizing our apartment enough to get a tree should take up pretty much the rest of this year for me. ;-)

    I will say that getting thank you notes out right away was a HUGE relief for me (plus people are always really impressed). It might take a few evenings of sitting in front of the TV while writing them, but sacrifices must be made. ;-)

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  16. I'm so behind! I've ONLY changed my name officially at SS and on my health insurance. Thank you cards are not done. Organizing the house is not done. Christmas tree? Oh hell no...not until after Thanksgiving or I will lose it!

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  17. I have out of town guests coming in tomorrow so my to-do list is cleaning, bleaching the shower curtain, finding our spare pillows, etc. :)

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  18. Right now my list includes: get out of bed before noon, put on a bra, and maybe take a shower. ;)

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  19. Jess, we're on the exact same track! We just cleaned house last weekend, getting rid of old stuff, putting away gifts and so forth. I have yet to get my dress cleaned and I'm not looking forward to it. And we've got to get moving on the holiday stuff! I think we should make a pact to have children on the same time line ... that way, I'll always know I can come here to commiserate!

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  20. I feel your pain! I got married 2 weeks before you so I also have to do all those things. PLUS I'm hosting Thanksgiving, sorting through wedding pictures and trying to find time to get our garage primed and painted. Oh, throw in planning our January honeymoon too. AHH!

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  21. Changing your name is the biggest hassle ever! I've only changed it on about 80% of stuff, and the rest I just don't care. Don't forget that Torsten needs to update you on all of HIS paperwork (like 401k, life insurance, etc), and vice versa.

    Can you tell me why one would pay to clean and "preserve" (whatever that means) a wedding dress? I've always been stumped by that. It's not like you're going to wear it again. Mine is stashed in a box and will probably be donated soon.

    My to-do list: pack for our trip, pack the apartment for our move, find movers, finish up 35 things for work, feed shelter cats tonight, go to the gym...ugh...too much to do!

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  22. Half of your to-dos actually sound kind of fun. I am a nerd.

    I have to get a chapter in to my advisor before Christmas, so there are a million little, terrifying to-dos that need to happen before that chapter is written and worthy of his time. BAH.

    Clean the back yard of dog poop. It is really windy today so I didn't do it; that means that much more poo tomorrow. [sigh]

    Update my 127-person Christmas card list with current addresses. Oh, my.

    That is all that is really pressing right now, but it is enough. Thanks for asking!

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  23. Change your name as fast as you can! After going to the social security office and DMV, the rest is cake. I'm only going on about this because uh, I kept putting it off and putting it off until one day my license did not match my credit card did not match a plane ticket and I got screwed at the airport.

    Oh, by the way...hi, I'm Hilly. :)

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  24. I leave for the Northwest 3 day and I still haven't packed and my laundry is not done. Have some loose ends at work to tie up before I leave for a week and still need to buy gifts before I get up there. Oh and its LJ's birthday tomorrow. No "something for him to open on his birthday" gift yet. The trip is his birthday gift.

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  25. reader de-lurking,
    lovs the HM pics!
    So cool!
    What resort?

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  26. I legally changed my name, and then uh, never changed it anywhere else. So far it hasn't caused me any problems.

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  27. Wow. You are going to be busy! Honestly I think I would go mental. Sounds like you're very organized, though. Good luck!(I had no idea you had to preserve the wedding gown.)

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  28. i need to have laundry. i have no pants.

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  29. #6 is also part of the reason I'm renting my dress! Good luck with everything. I'm sure you'll be able to handle it!

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  30. Oh my goodness, I completely feel you right now. Granted, I didn't have a wedding that threw me out of wack. But there is just so much for me to do in terms of the holidays (get togethers, gifts, and let's be realistic- I work retail, a whole lotta 50 hour weeks) and then I'll hopefully be starting at a new school in January.. so, there's that, as well. Hang in there!

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  31. I just wanted to suggest some places to donate your stuff:

    Bread for the City might be able to use some of it (they have a NW and a SE location) for their clients

    The Green Door works with DC residents with mental illness and has a long wish list of household goods: http://www.greendoor.org/NovWish.pdf

    Both are really great organizations (not that Goodwill isn't; I just don't really know much about it).

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  32. Got married in September and JUST had the dress go in to be cleaned today =)

    Relax & shop vintage are very high up on my lists right now.

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  33. i haven't even made out my list of who i NEED to shop for this xmas. am putting it off while covering my ears and going LA LA LA LA LA LA.

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  34. 26 places to change your name? Wow. That's it: if I ever get married, I'm keeping my name. I'm far too lazy to deal with all that. :-)

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  35. My parents got married today actually. Wait, no, their anniversary is today, which in the year they got married was Thanksgiving. Because they are apparently insane. Also, I was born 2 months later and I was "only" 3 months early, so you do the math. ;)

    Someone may have already mentioned this, sorry if this is repetitive...but I thought I would mention that lsome charities will actually come to you to pick up donations of clothing and household items (at least in this area). I think I remember you mentioning that there is someone at your building to accept packages, so maybe you could leave items to be donated there too and they could just get picked up at your lobby? Might save you some extra running around.

    On my to-do list? Um, give the dog a bath, get rid of an especially stubborn migraine, start figuring out christmas shopping before it is too late to get it done and shipped off to out-of-state family, and try to figure out if my job stress is regular old starting-a-new-job-stress, or if it is early warning signs that this job is going to make me completely miserable. Good times!

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  36. See a play, write about the play, write a thesis, finish NaNo novel, write a play (or a least 10 minutes of it), photoshop the photos I took of the show and get them up online, prep for a job audition on Tues, nail the audition, pick up contacts, get new glasses, ummm...

    Yeah.

    Also, for name changes: Student Loans maybe?

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  37. I have heard that changing your name is the most annoying part. I am NOT looking forward to that. Especially because who has vacation time to take off work to get all of it done if you just came back from your honeymoon?

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  38. This list made me laugh because:
    1) I only realized that Christmas that after all this time, I still hadn't finished my name-change list.
    2) Our kitchen shrunk when we moved and I still have kitchen boxes stuffed in a back room closet with stuff to donate.
    3) We're horrible people and our thank you cards never did get entirely finished. <- this I blame on my husband because most of those thankyous were for 'HIS' invitees.
    4, 5, and 6) Christmas tree is coming today and our living room is a disaster; Christmas shopping deadline is this Saturday because all presents are traveling no less than 2000 miles; my wedding dress with filthy hems is still hanging in plastic six years after the fact. You're not alone, Jess, you're not alone. :)

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