Friday, September 14, 2007

Awful wedding stories

Torsten and I went out for dinner last night with my friend Matt from my old job and his fiancee, who just moved to town. They're getting married in Texas next month and Torsten and I will be going--the first wedding we will be attending together. We had Greek food at a great (and cheap) restaurant near my office, and while Matt and Torsten were downstairs ordering, Matt's fiancee and I discussed bridal gowns and wedding colours and when to send the invitations and all sorts of other fun wedding stuff. It was the first time that I had really sat down and talked with someone else who was planning a wedding, and it was so! fun! I have already discovered the joy that is reading blogs written by other engaged women, but actually getting to sit down at a table with someone and discuss reception locations and catering choices and all the stuff that is incredibly tedious and boring to anyone who is not planning a wedding... well, it's just thrilling. In a way that makes me a little bit scared, because oh my God, why am I so interested in this stuff? It's like being a member of a secret society, or maybe some alien planet.

In other wedding news, Torsten and I got up at 6:30 this morning to meet with a potential wedding officiant before work, only not to have her show up at all, even though we waited for 45 minutes in case she was just running late. Guess who won't be officiating at our wedding? That's right! Anyone who has the potential to show up late and therefore make the reception (also known as the fun part--with the dancing and the open bar) shorter is officially off our list of potential officiants. Also, I will never recover that lost hour of sleep, and for that reason I am extremely bitter.

Oh! And I loved your stories from yesterday! I had no idea that people narrated their actions in the third person! And I forgot about those people who always have to be sicker than you, or more correct than you. And since I'm once again feeling quite bitter due to being stood up this morning, I think this is a good time to turn to you once again for your horror stories. So, start sharing the worst thing that happened during your wedding or another wedding you were at (or during the wedding planning). Drunk relatives, angry toasts, ruined dresses, money-grubbing couples, no-show vendors, just plain bad manners, or anything so horrifying that I haven't even thought of it yet... I want to hear all of it.

I'll start: I read about one wedding where a groomsman walked around the reception with a basket and went up to some guests to tell them that the cost of their gift didn't cover the cost of their plate, and they should just put the price difference in the basket in cash. OH MY GOD.

Okay, your turn!


  1. Ooh - yes! Wedding drama! I can comment here rather than post about it, because some of the people I am talking about read my blog! (Note that I did not use my name or website title on this comment.)

    There has been a lot of DRAMA with my wedding (which is my second, which apparently means my parents don't have to care about it AT ALL, even though they like J. way more than they ever liked my Ex) which is why I don't talk a whole lot about it.

    BUT: parents interfering (both sides), people wanting to be in the wedding who weren't originally chosen, my parents guilting me into inviting a crapload of people we told them we weren't inviting, bridesmaids arguing over the shower preparations, a bridesmaid who wanted to pull out of the wedding a month before said wedding because she can't afford the dress alterations, having to meet with the venue coordinator at 7:30 in the freaking morning on a Saturday because that's the only time we can all get together, two aunts fighting so one's not coming to the wedding, another aunt not bringing my Grandpa even though he is in great health...

    (pant, pant) I've got to stop. All I've got to say is this: this marriage better last for the rest of my life, because the way my family is, I can't handle anymore wedding stuff.


    Thanks for the venting space!

  2. At my first wedding, the limo driver went to the wrong address to pick me up, which was 20 minutes away from where I was. Which, in turn, was 20 minutes away from the ceremony. And then we got to the ceremony site, and nothing was ready and the guests had to sit there for like almost an hour between everything that went on. I think they were pretty happy about the open bar by that time. :)

    (I second the elope - I only wish I could!)

  3. My best girlfriend was a bridesmaid and nine months pregnant. She must really love me to do that, huh? During the dance she slipped on some water (or quite possibly sweat as it was over 100 degrees the day we got married) and fell. I think everyone gasped at the same time.

    She was okay. In fact, she later told me she was a wee bit happy that it happened because she thought it moved things along - she had a darling little boy just three days later. She and her husband were very calm and not too concerned about it.

    My mom on the other hand went nuts. My friend is like another daughter to her so she was justifiably concerned. She started yelling at everyone out on the floor to give her their glasses. She didn't allow another drink on the dance floor for the rest of the night.

  4. Nothing terrible happened at ours. I do remember everyone promising to show up early to help set things up, and thinking they would be there to help, and they didn't show and were actually even late for the photos. Other than that, the day was a blur and our wedding was so relaxed that there wasn't much room for drama (other than normal family drama). I always get twitchy seeing these stories, though.

  5. Well, I have nothing for this one. My husband's family used to have a pig roast every year on my brother-in-law's property. He has a really nice property with a little creek running through. We just had our wedding there under a tent before the roast, which we turned into our reception. The guests all wore shorts and all said it was the nicest wedding they ever attended. And it was easy AND cheap.

  6. i've been in... let's see, 3 weddings now? and so far nothing terrible has happened (!!!). although every. single. person that i know who has been married has suggested the elope plan as well. my mom would KILL me if i eloped.

  7. I don't have a story about my wedding, yet. I can tell you a story about two friends of ours that got married a few years ago. They are big drinkers. Well, once the reception was over (around midnight) the bride decided it was time to hit the bar. In her wedding gown! I'm sorry, but that's just not right. I plan on having better things to do on my wedding night than to go to a bar that I can visit any day of the year. Oh, they got divorced a year later.

  8. It's totally like being part of a secret society. I love reading about other engaged women too but it's awesome to sit down with someone and just be able to relate about the craziest stuff.

  9. My friends uncle stepped on her train as she was walking out of the church - on purpose. He was also heard to hear telling unfunny stories and was in general a lame-o.

  10. Well, nothing bad from my OWN wedding, but I do have an embarassing story from a wedding I was IN. I was caught on camera making a bitchy face at the wedding coordinator before I walked down the aisle. In my defense, she WAS a total bitch. But still, oops.

  11. It is the same with pregnancy and babies! During my first pregnancy, the first time I ran into another pregnant woman we COULD! NOT! STOP! TALKING! And then having kids gives you that kind of thing for the rest of your life: you can always talk about your kids, your pregnancies, your deliveries.

    I don't think I have any impressive wedding stories. And none about my own: Paul and I got married with a justice of the peace and two paid witnesses (the justice's wife and sister, $5 each), and I wondered if I would regret it but it was GREAT. I love to hear about other people's wedding plans and stresses--but it also makes me so happy I didn't have to do all that.

    I did go to a wedding where the bride and groom WOULD NOT LEAVE. And, technically, etiquettely-speaking, guests aren't supposed to leave before the bride and groom. Finally, after SIX HOURS at the reception, four of which had been in darkness with loud music for dancing (too loud for talking), I thought, "It is 11:30 at night. That's ENOUGH."