Trying not to judge

So, first of all, a lot of you had interesting things to say on yesterday's post. I think you're right (and I would do well to remember this, especially since it was one of the major lessons I learned last year) that these people's comments are really about them, not me. However, I don't think it's jealousy, exactly, that's sparking these types of judgment. I think it's more that people assess the kind of effort and work it would take THEM to plan and research the way I do, and assume that it takes me the equivalent amount of time and effort, and therefore judge. Whereas in reality these things come naturally to me, so it isn't an effort at all.

Also, I think people see one or two characteristics in a person, know that they've seen those same characteristics in another person that they know well, and assume that the two are alike in all aspects of whatever characteristic it is. When in fact that's often not the case.

So, since I was just complaining about other people judging me, I think it's only fair that I talk about me judging others, too.

This whole thought process actually started with the fact that our gym has become very crowded this month with a bunch of people who have clearly made it their New Year's Resolutions to become fitter and/or lose weight. And oh, it's so annoying that the machines are full and the lockers are full and there are people everywhere and you have to wait. And the annoyance makes it easy to look down on these people as poseurs, fakers who really just exist to get in the way of those of us who are REAL gym-goers.

But seriously... that attitude is not productive. Everyone has to start going to the gym sometime, and what better time than New Year's, from a standpoint of self-motivation? I am not any better than anyone else just because I happened to start at this gym in the summer. So I need to get off my high horse and recognize that we are all in this together and just get over myself, basically.

Of course, this isn't to say that I won't be relieved when February rolls around and the gym crowds thin out. I'm just trying to be tolerant about the reason for the issue.

I think this applies, in general, to most situations. It's really easy to think, well, this way worked for me, it's been great for me, so why is that person too dumb to do it this way as well? But it's just so counter-productive. Obviously there's not one right way for everyone to do things because if so, we'd all be doing everything the same way and succeeding wildly, you know?

I'm not saying I'm trying not to judge at all. We all judge, all the time. It's how we make decisions. There's nothing wrong with that. But some judgments are more negative than others, and a lot of judgment is useless, and CERTAINLY directing negative judgment at someone and making them aware of it is useless.

So, you know. I can judge. I can observe and make decisions and form opinions about things that people do. But instead of aiming those judgments outward and letting them make me feel dismissive about other people and what may or may not work for them, I need to try to channel them into informing myself about what might or might not work for me.