On thinking too much, and other uninformed judgments

Here's something that people tell me a lot, in one form or another, directly or indirectly: You think too much.

I am SO SICK of hearing this. Yes, I'm naturally inclined to analyze. I like to think and plan ahead. I like to consider options and possibilities. I like to be prepared.

BUT. I am not obsessive about it. I am not paranoid. I am actually fairly laid-back. I swear! (And my mother and husband agree!) I don't freak out about every little remote possibility. I don't like to waste time and energy on statistical outliers. I don't feel the need to be prepared for every possible eventuality, and so I don't freak out about the possibility of outrageous scenarios.

But if I know that something IS going to happen, or is LIKELY to happen, or I WANT it to happen... well, yeah. I think about it. I process it. I analyze it. And I try to move forward with as much awareness as possible.

So, yeah. Not everybody would have a pre-conception appointment, or be reading books about childbirth and baby names well before becoming pregnant, or meet with a genetic counselor. Not everybody would do hours of research about the city they're thinking of moving to, down to knowing how many sunny days it gets every year (for the record: Denver gets 300). Not everyone would begin researching dog breeds and rescue programs months before they were in a position to get a dog.

But that doesn't mean that because that's how I like to do things, that there's something WRONG with that, or that it's OK to COMMENT on that in a manner that is AT ALL pejorative. I do plan for things, but only WITHIN REASON. And I am actually remarkably good at adapting to unexpected situations.

There isn't really any one thing that's driving this post--nobody has said anything particularly abrasive to me about this recently. Though I AM still thinking about the way the genetic counselor reacted when she was asking about health conditions that run in my family, and I mentioned that my dad has a hereditary heart condition, but that I had already been tested for it and I don't have it. When I said that I'd already been tested for it... she SMIRKED. Seriously, it was very clear from her face that she thought she had me all figured out as one of those over-the-top, goal-oriented type who has a spreadsheet for every aspect of her life.

But seriously! My dad has a serious heart condition that requires very careful medical management. It would be irresponsible for me NOT to get tested for that condition, ESPECIALLY before trying to get pregnant. And she's a freaking GENETIC COUNSELOR. Her JOB is to work with people who plan ahead. If I weren't the planning type, I WOULDN'T BE THERE.

But it's not just her. People are always saying things to me like "Wow, I can tell you've put a lot of thought into this," or "My goodness, I can see you've really done your research," or "Oh, I can already tell you're going to be a really involved parent." Which SOUND innocuous, in type, and often are innocuous, in person. But SOMETIMES the knowing way they say it, often laced with judgment... well, you know. It gets under my skin.

AND, the thing that annoys me the most is that 95% of the incidents where someone tells me they can tell I've been thinking about something for awhile? Are in response to comments that I made completely off the top of my head without ever having thought about whatever the topic in question is before in my life.

All I'm saying is, yes, I understand that I am analytical, a Planner, but I am actually NOT type A, and even if I WERE, who CARES? Everyone operates differently. I am fully aware of what works for me.

And you know what? Not everyone researches the shit out of the city they're about to move to, but not everyone would move across the country to a state they've never even visited before, either. And you know what else? Denver has turned out to be EXACTLY what we expected based on all that research. So, sometimes it pays off. Certainly, my personality and analytical tendencies have led me to a great place in my life.

So please, let's all just note the difference. Pointing out that I'm different from you? Fine. Being impressed at how just how different we are? Fine. Commenting on how well these tendencies have worked out for me? Great! Asking questions about how I make this sort of thing work? Fabulous. Every comment on this post? Lovely and supportive. But telling me that the way I think is wasteful? Not helpful. Acting judgmental and condescending about my natural inclinations? Quite off-putting. Telling me that another way WORKED FOR YOU and therefore I'M DOING IT WRONG? I will get VERY STABBY.

I assume this applies to other people and any characteristics that are particularly noticeable about them. So, what about you? What traits and qualities of yours often draw comments from others?