20-somethings growing older

The other day, Nicole posted about how being in your 20s is all about change, especially for her. And I think she's right, but it also got me to thinking about the way that our culture fetishizes 20-somethings. Not that there's anything wrong with being in your 20s (obviously), or with being youthful and carefree and in flux at that age. But I think it sets up a false dichotomy, like your 20s are your youth and that's when you can change and do whatever you want, and then you hit 30 and bam, your life should be all set and you should be settled into a routine and popping out babies left, right, and center.

Most stereotypes have a grain of truth, because they stem from perceived norms, and that's totally fine. But it makes me sad that we have it all set up like oh, to be in your 20s again, how wonderful life was, how easy decisions were and how fun was it to pick up your whole life and start again somewhere else if you wanted?

Of course it's funny that I say that now, given that that's exactly what I'm about to do and I'm in my 20s at the moment. But still, I think it's sad that we have this idea that once you're not in your 20s anymore, you're not living the same type of life, you're not constantly evolving and changing, that you've basically become who you will be, your journey has ended and now you're just sitting around at the destination.

Obviously, people in their 30s, 40s, and beyond know better. But I wish that our society as a whole knew better. I think goals and milestones are great, but it's frustrating when people beat themselves up because they haven't done X or Y by the time they were 30, and now it's too late or now they're already old or whatever.

My college had a program for non-traditional-aged students, mostly older, and what I was always struck by in class was how those students were so engaged. Unlike a lot of their 20-year-old classmates, they really WANTED to be there. They'd had all sorts of life experiences that colored the way they viewed the things we were learning. They always did the readings. They always had things to say. But they weren't just stagnating in their lives just because they weren't in their 20s anymore. They were doing new things and applying new things to their lives and going new places, just like our society assumes 20-somethings are doing. And in a lot of ways, I think they were getting a lot more out of the college experience than a lot of their younger classmates.

And it works the other way too. People assume that you at a certain age are exactly like they were at that age. You're 24, why are you getting married? You're too young to know what you want. You're too immature to make that kind of lasting commitment to another person. Why aren't you ENJOYING your youth instead of tying yourself down? And so on.

I AM enjoying my youth, but I also don't have to stop enjoying life once I leave my 20s behind. Yeah, we as 20-somethings are in flux now and our life circumstances lend themselves to enabling lots of change, but it doesn’t start or end here. People are made of their experiences, and that never ends.

We build up so many expectations for youth, like that’s the only time in our lives that we can be carefree, or do whatever we want, or change at random, or grow or experience our lives, that we act like everyone secretly wants to be in their 20s. But that’s not the case, and I’m glad it’s not the case, and it’s why I don’t fear growing older.