Friday, April 11, 2008

Germany: It's that time again.

So, Torsten and I are leaving for Germany tomorrow. (Don't worry, I have an array of fabulous guest posters lined up to keep you entertained in my absence.) I'm kind of thinking about taking bets on whether or not Torsten's mother is going to tell him when she says goodbye, for the third time, that he's always welcome to come home if things don't work out between us. Any takers? What do you think? Personally, I think she will and Torsten thinks she might not.

But wait! Before I talk about Germany, I have to talk about wedding invitations. Last night my sister and I went to Paper Source after work to attempt to resolve my invitation crisis. Paper Source, by the way, is an absolutely amazing store, and we are lucky enough to have one of their few brick and mortar stores nearby (they only have them in seven states plus DC). Their website is also great, but I am so beyond websites at this point. I need a person, a real, knowledgeable one to whom I could spew all my confused ideas and who would respond with a tangible, good idea.

And it happened! It really happened. The salesperson who helped us was GREAT. She spent like an hour with us, and at the end I knew exactly what I wanted and had the materials to produce it. Yes, I'm going the DIY route like I threatened. But my sister is going to help (as well all know that Torsten will be useless in this regard). And if things get really down to the wire, perhaps I'll have a little bloggy save-my-invitations get-together where all of you can come to my apartment to help and we will blow through those suckers in like half an hour. Sound good?

ANYWAY. Pipe dreams of bloggy crafty fun aside, the invitation is SO COOL. It's difficult to describe (part of why we had to spend over an hour with the salesperson), and I will do a post (with photos!) about the actual assembly process once my sister and I start. But basically it's a dark purple horizontal pocketfold, and when the the recipient opens the flaps, they'll see a big light purple sheet with the invitation printed in English and German. On the bigger flap there will be a little purple pocket with cream polka dots and in the pocket will be the RSVP and info cards. Then the whole thing will be folded up and tied with a purple ribbon, which will be sealed with a bigger cream dot. The envelopes will be matching dark purple and have a vellum liner with little silvery flowers on it. There will be another cream dot as the address label, which will be hand addressed in purple ink.

It is PERFECT. And it deals with all the issues we were worried about. Of course, it's possible that when we try to put it all together it will be a time-consuming nightmare, in which case we will be back to square one. So, we bought one of everything, and when I get back from Germany, my sister and I are going to attempt to print and assemble a couple of invites to make sure it is doable and to figure out how much of everything we need to buy.

It was great. And I feel SO MUCH BETTER. And we only need to make 75 invitations, and they don't need to be sent until August, so even if we make, like, one every other day between now and then, we will still have plenty of time.

And speaking of Germany, let's get back to what I was saying at the beginning of this post. We're going to spend just a couple of days in London visiting friends first, and then we are going to Torsten's parents' house to celebrate his father's 60th birthday in style. And by "in style" I mean that I am going to meet Torsten's entire extended family for the first time all at once. And remember how last time I went to Germany, I was totally going to learn German first? Well, ha ha, I didn't do it last time and I haven't done it this time either. So while that will make it a bit more difficult for me to really get to know Torsten's family, it also gives me an excuse to totally tune out of what's going on and just smile and nod.

So, um, to make me feel better, how about you all tell me about the first time you met the family of a significant other? Happy stories are welcome and horror stories are ESPECIALLY welcome. But, um, if you have a story about how this one time you went to meet the entire extended family, and they didn't speak the same language as you, and it was awful and you wound up in tears and still haven't totally recovered? MAYBE DON'T TELL ME THAT STORY RIGHT NOW.

53 comments:

  1. Parents just love me (no, really, they always do-but you are up against parents who are little tougher than the crowds I've dealt with), so the meetings go fine. But I am very foul-mouthed, and I am always slipping up in front of people's parents. The parents always seem to think it's funny. The friends/SO? Notsomuch.

    Anyway, good luck!

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  2. OMG!

    I am going to miss you. You're leaving?! How long are you going to be gone?

    Have fun, but I'm sad! :)

    Karyn

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  3. First of all: the invitations sound awesome! I hope you enjoy the crafting process and it isn't a burden on you, because unwittingly getting in over your head is no fun. But I'm sure you will be fine, especially since you're starting so early. Good for you!

    As for the in-laws... well, we all speak the same language, but my interests are so outside JG's family's that we may as well not have. I met them all at Thanksgiving, which was the most ritual-laden holiday for them. It was stressful for me, but I made it through. I'm still getting used to all their traditions, even now, but I'm sure you'll be just fine.

    Good luck! Safe travels!

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  4. Oh honey, good luck! It'll be great, don't worry. As you know, Germans tend to be just cold people. Brush it off!
    The first time I met D's mom in college and she said, and I quote "Well she looks like trouble..." hahaha thankfully she changed her mind!

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  5. The first time I met Brett's parents we went to a wedding of a person I did not know. It was highly awkward and pressure filled, but we survived and all is well.

    Nice work on the invites!

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  6. How did I not know you were going to Germany so soon? This is very exciting news! I hope you have such a good time and his family falls in love with you. Also, I can't wait to see the invitations. They sound great!

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  7. How fun- The Fella really wants to visit Germany again (I've never been). I hope you have a great time (I love London!).

    It seems that I always tend to date men who are estranged from their families or part of their families. Interesting, no? The first time I met my very first boyfriend's mother I thought to myself "Dear God! This is what {insert name of boyfriend} would look like if he dressed up in drag!" Then she offered me booze. I was 17.

    If I lived closer, I would totally come to bloggy helping party for the invites. I excel at that stuff and have really good handwriting!

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  9. I've got a great one. When my ex and I were moving in together, he took me to meet his fundamentally religious family several states away (he did not share their religious beliefs). His parents were very unhappy that he would be living with a woman to whom he is not married. His mom's solution? Offer to let me live with them. Several states away. I wasn't homeless; we were choosing to cohabitate. Well, I declined her offer. Later when said ex went out with his dad to buy something, I was left alone with his mother. She then told me her son had told her we had "Given in to the flesh", and told me her opinion of that fact. Mortified, when said ex returned, I said we were leaving. NOW. Eventually my relationship with his family improved. Of course, now there is no relationship, so it's a great story to share.

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  10. Lordy. Well, I think you read about my most horrifying Meet The Parents experience with the Crazy Baptists. Good times.

    Can't wait to hear if Torsten is invited to come home again! I'm thinking she'll do it once more, just for good measure.

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  11. i can't wait to see how your invitations turn out!!

    and i'm sure everything will be fine with the future-in-laws. have fun while you guys are there!

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  12. Hands down she will tell him again!

    My in-laws spoke spanish only at home until I came around and then it was only occasionally, like when they got excited. I of course always thought they were talking about ME. Shamefully I have never learned to speak the language. Lucky for me I never met the extended family until we had been married several years and since my MIL loved me so much, and thinks the sun rises over my head (how great is that?) they all seemed to love me too. They all tried to speak english when I was around but would revert to spanish a lot. At one point in the day as all the women were sitting in a large circle (that's a different story for a different day) one of the aunts asked me a question in spanish and I didn't even realize she was speaking in spanish and answered her correctly. The whole circle went quiet and just stared at me and assumed I actually knew spanish and had been 'lying' the whole time. They were all very careful never to speak spanish around me anymore which pretty much confirmed to me that they were talking about me but were now afraid I understood them. Still don't understand a word of it unless it is my MIL or FIL and I think that is because I just know them so well.

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  13. i think i've probably mentioned this before? but my bff from highschool (the parkour gal!) married a french dude, and his fam doesn't speak english, she doesn't speak french.. and really, it's a BONUS, because her MIL can't be annoying and catty to her face. well, i mean, i guess she COULD, but it wouldn't have any effect.

    if the invitations get too crazy, i'll TOTALLY come help!! it would be a perfect reason for us to finally get together! :-)

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  14. I bet you'll have so much fun in London that you'll be all blissed out in Germany and breeze through the whole thing.

    I too cannot wait to see the invitation!

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  15. You know what's funny? I was thinking about my invitations last night and was wondering what ever happened with yours. Now I know!

    I'm so jealous of you getting to go to Germany. So lucky! All that awesome food, beer and chocolate. You're going to have an amazing time.

    Don't be nervous about meeting his family. I'm sure they will love you! My German family was really cool to T when they first met him, and they always get a kick out of seeing him again. My one great aunt always acts like she's going to kidnap him. Or she'll keep a sock so he has a "reason" to come back again. Germans are funny!

    Viel Spass and tschüss! :)

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  16. I'm sure that the trip will be great and his entire family will LOVE you! Have so much fun! I'll miss your posts and comments while you are gone. Congrats on the invites! They sound great!

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  17. While P's extended family KNOWS English they won't SPEAK it and that means a lot of Chinese banquets spent staring at one's plate and hoping they are not talking about P's fat white wife. Other than that, they're lovely!

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  18. The invitations sound beautiful, and your mention of an invitation-assembling party made me actually PINE for such a thing! It is one of the big downsides of blogging, that the people you meet often live far away!

    The first time I met Paul's parents was shortly after our wedding (he was smart to get the paperwork through before taking me to meet them). His parents are divorced but able to be in the same room without fighting. Not, however, with talking: Paul read a book and his mother knit and his dad sat there sinking into depression. It was awful.

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  19. Yeah for an invitation solution! That must be such a huge relief! As much as I really like some of the invitations I've found online, I'm almost certain I'll end up going with something from Paper Source. *LOVE*

    The first time I met Sweets' family was fairly normal. His parents were going to the Symphony, so we met them at a restaurant downtown. It was short and sweet and no horror stories to mention. Thankfully.

    Have a great trip and take lots of pictures!

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  20. AH! I'm so jealous! I miss Germany SO FRIGGIN' MUCH!

    Have a great trip sweetheart!

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  21. The first time I met my husband's parents and extended family was at his 15th birthday party at a restaurant. They were really nice and his grandmother told me I was beautiful, everyone started agreeing and my face turned as red as the shirt I was wearing!

    ps. the invitations sound awesome!

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  22. Your invitations sound gorgeous, and perfect in every way. I would totally come to a bloggy craft party if I lived in your Washington!

    As for meeting the SO's family, I still have only met her mom in person. And the first time I met her was when my honey was moving in with me. Not at all stressful or anything! But she is a very kind and laid-back person, even if she is a chatty cathy type morning person and I am most decidedly not.

    My honey has lived far away from her family for several years (now she lives on the opposite coast!), and there are some issues that make me really, really dread when we do eventually go back east together for me to meet everyone else. Like her brother who thinks it is perfectly okay to use the word "fag" in a derogatory way in conversation with her/us because it isn't like he's talking about us. WTH, dude? At least the other brother and the sisters-in-law seem cool, but still: jerk BIL + no Starbucks = DREAD!

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  23. Meeting AS's family was pretty painless. We did make a special trip up to his parents' place for the occasion, which was a bit pressure-heavy, but we mixed it up with a visit to his best friend, so it wasn't hours upon hours of spending time with the 'rents. His mom must have liked me, because she invited me to a family birthday party three weeks later with his ENTIRE family. I've been a part of the group ever since!

    (I still think they are totally strange, though!)

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  24. Ha! Families are so weird. "you can always come back," so weird!

    I'm glad you're making your own invites. I totally recommend that route when applicable. Can't wait to see them.

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  25. good luck, and be safe!! can't wait to hear all about it when you return. don't take any shiza from the missus.

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  26. Parents have always loved me. With my husband, the first time I met his family went very well. My mother-in-law is 1/2 Italian and 1/2 Irish, and my father-in-law is Italian. My mother-in-law wanted nothing more from her 9 children than a red-headed grandchild. At the time she had about 20 grandkids, none with red hair. I walked in the door and she did a little dance of glee. I think she's probably disappointed in me now, since I failed to produce the redheaded grandchildren, but she pretends to still love me. She actually is always on my side over my husband's in any situation in which sides are taken. But maybe that's because she sticks my kids in the sunlight (they have red highlights) and pretends they're redheads.

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  27. Will's parents are divorced so I get to tell you TWO stories!

    The first time I met Will's Mom and Sisters, I went out to his house. His Mom was perfectly friendly and all went well until she looked at me and said "So when do you think you and Will are going to have kids?" (We had not yet been together for an entire month) and? she wasn't trying to be funny. She was TOTALLY SERIOUS.

    The first time I met Will's Dad was last year when we went to visit him in Texas. Will's Dad loves the second amendment and has an entire room (that is the size of a small bedroom) that is devoted to all of his guns, bullet making materials and survival gear. But mostly guns. The first thing Will says? He says "Hey Dad, guess what?" then points to me and says "She's a DEMOCRAT." Guess how much fun I had after that!

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  28. I can't believe you're leaving us! But then, it's to go overseas and it's a mostly/sort-of holiday so I'd leave too if given the choice. And really, I only WISH my inlaws lived overseas. Or maybe they could stay here and we could move?
    When I first met them, all was fine - mutual feelings of wonderfulness all around. Then about a year after we got married, everything headed south. Fast. It's never been the same and spending time with them now, nevermind talking to them on the phone....well...let's just say, I think I'd rather spend 6 hours in a tiny, cramped, dark closet with nothing but my thoughts for company....or something like that.

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  29. So glad the invitations are resolved. They sound beautiful! Have fun traveling.

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  30. I'm TRYING to get your thing out by Germany, but I ordered a few samples for you from my suppliers, and I hope it's here in time! I DO HOPE! (I totally think it will be.)

    The first time I met Adam's grandmother and extended family, she announced that I had my period to the entire table. No lie. She really did.

    Good luck to you! You will be wonderful.

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  31. This one time, I went with my boyfriend to France, and I didn't speak French, and his entire family was SO cruel and I left in tears...

    No, I'm totally kidding. *HUGS* You'll be fine. Communication is about much more than understanding words. I'm sure his family will love you. Goodluck!

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  32. If you think it's starting to get stressful, just repeat in your head "I get to take him home. I get to take him home."

    I have no in law stories, but I promise you this, meeting my family will actually be the challenge and the stuff that legends are made of. *shudder*

    Yay for the invite plan! It's going to be great and I can't wait to see pictures.

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  33. Oh, have fun! And forgive yourself any exasperation with his family..family is hard, language barrier or not. And, not to sound too awful, but it stays hard.

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  34. You will have a great time AND survive meeting the family. Have a great time!

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  35. Have a great trip! I am sure it will be great with the family. And your invitations sounds AMAZING. I would totally go to an invitation making party!

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  36. Um... Germany? You're going to Germany... WITHOUT ME????

    I wanna go baaaaaack...

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  37. The first parents (of a boyfriend) I ever met where German. Dad spoke fluent English. Mother not so much. I smiled, nodded and offered to do the dishes in gestures that are universally recognized. I was so nervous but it was fine.

    You'll be great!

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  38. I hope she doesn't say that to him again about coming home, how awkward for you.

    The language barrier has got to be hard, but could just make things easier. You don't have to have those weird conversations when you don't know what to say. If they don't just fall in love with you, trust me, it is their problem! You're great!

    The invitations sound super cute, hopefully they aren't a whole lot of work, but like you said..you have time!

    Enjoy Germany! I'm jealous because I want to go to SPAIN sooo badly!

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  39. Can't wait to see the invites!!
    Good luck meeting the family too. :)

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  40. All you need to know, when you're introduced to Torsten's relatives is this:

    "Es freut mich sehr" and then smile.

    Actually, the best thing to do is hook up with the little kids and teach them English. They'll know quite a bit themselves and kids are the best source for language acquisition. They're very forgiving and a lot of fun. In your situation at a similar party, I'd hang with the kids!

    Alles gute im Flug und komm' gut nach Hause!

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  41. I just love that you can write so openly about the circus show that is your visits to In-Law-Town. I WISH I had never told my In-Laws about my blog so that I could write about the craziness like you get to and make everyone laugh like you do. It's awesome.

    I hope it goes well for you, if not, we are here for you when you get back. Try not to care so much what she thinks, just let it go. I know it's hard but once you stop trying so hard, it will be better.

    Who couldn't love you to pieces though? What the hell is the woman's problem?!

    Jamie

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  42. Count me in for the crafting wedding invitations day! :)

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  43. Have a great time in Germany. Hope the weather is great. :) :)

    First time I met Jason's parents, we'd just gotten back from a huge music festival, so I was sweaty and smelly. Seriously. They've always been sweet to me though, even though the way things are going, they'll NEVER be my in-laws! :P

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  44. Have a great time! Glad you found your invitations. And mother-in-laws what can you say...Can't leave with em', can't leave with out em', oh wait I think that applies to guys. Mother-in-laws I'm pretty sure you can live without. :)

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  45. BON VOYAGE!!! You're probs already there, but I hope you're having a great time!!

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  46. You might not get this until you return, but I had to say have a great trip anyway!

    Also - the first time I met Rob's family, we flew up to Philadelphia, and my bags didn't make it. Hi, I have a hard time finding pants that i like when I have unlimited resources and time - can you imagine having your luggage lost? BLARGH. And did I mention that Rob has 6 brothers, who each have a wife, and among them they have a total of 32 children? (Now 34)? Because they do. And I met them ALL AT ONCE. And after one day, one of the wives put me on the spot and asked me to go around the giant square of tables they had (in the private dining room, because with a family that large, you can't all get a reservation otherwise) and NAME EVERYONE. Um, yeah. Good times. Needless to say, I drank heavily to compensate.

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  47. The first time I met my ex's parents, I was in his bed. No, not like that. I was crippled by food poisoning and could only get out of bed to poop or puke.

    On that note, safe trip!

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  48. I dated a guy in high school whose mom was convinced I was going to get knocked up (I was a virgin) and ruin his life. So whenever we were around her she would drop lines about it.

    Ironically, I'm an Engineer and I'm pretty sure he's back in the small-town and didn't go to college.

    I'm sure your meeting will go fine! You'll have to tell us all about it!

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  49. Cute idea for the invitations! I totally want to see pictures when you have them.

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  50. The first time I met my guy's parents (on the 2nd day), I joined them for dinner after they'd all been drinking a substantial amount-- and his mother proceeded to talk very loudly about sexual slang. She's fabulous.

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