Mind over matter

Last night was a rough night, involving an extended 3:00 AM phone call from a friend having some relationship issues after I had already gone to bed much later than normal. Thus today I am functioning on not very much sleep and even though the workday hasn't even started, I am already feeling out of it. I put on full makeup today, including some desperately-needed under-eye concealer, which I don't usually wear. The idea is to trick myself into feeling as alert as I look. So far, it isn't working.

So, let's see. Time to try mind over matter. Let's focus on the positive. Hmm. It may be time for a list.

1. I met one of Torsten's best friends, who lives in England, when we were in Germany. Then earlier this week the two of them were talking online and his friend submitted her official opinion of me: "She's a great girl... you lucky bugger!" There's nothing quite like being appreciated by your significant other's friends.

2. My volleyball team won our quarterfinal playoff game last night. Next week is the semifinals and, if we win those, the finals. We went out for a drink after we won last night and I actually got to know my teammates, which felt good as I've felt sort of like an outsider all season since they all knew each other beforehand and I did not.

3. Seeing other people's relationship problems somehow makes me feel very solid in my own relationship. Not that I enjoy other people's sadness, because I truly do not, but seeing the issues that other people are having makes me look at my own relationship in those lights, and no matter what light I look at it in, my relationship with Torsten is great. Torsten is great. I'm incredibly lucky.

4. My boss is being super-nice and told me that if I need to leave early, or even go home and sleep for awhile and then work from home, I can. Unfortunately, I have work to get done this morning and a meeting I can't miss this afternoon. But still, I'm lucky to have a boss to whom I can even talk about this stuff in the first place, and who is so supportive about it.

5. I remembered to take something out of the freezer to defrost in my half-asleep daze this morning, which means I will actually be able to cook dinner tonight. This is serious progress for me, as usually I can't remember to do that even when I have had enough sleep.

Okay, well, that didn't really work. I still don't feel terribly positive. I feel tired, and also emotionally drained. Perhaps doing some work will make me feel both productive and distracted. (What a novel idea.) I'm going to try that technique. Also, let's try the power of persuasion: what positive or upbeat things are happening in your life right now?