Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Still chugging.

On Friday both Torsten and I went to the doctor, in part because we needed prescriptions for malaria medication and Torsten needed shots in preparation for our honeymoon, but also because we both wanted to get a check-up. We were both pronounced healthy, and the doctor amused me by telling me that both of us have big, strong frames and are very flexible, which means that our kid will likely be athletically talented. He further amused me by saying that even if our kid displays a natural talent for gymnastics, we shouldn't allow it because gymnastics is a very high-impact sport. I went ahead and filed that advice in the Maybe I'll Need to Think About This Again in Ten Years section of my brain.

The other thing that the doctor told me is that because of my big bones and strong frame, my goal weight is too low for me. He said that first of all, it wouldn't be achievable, and second of all, if I did manage to achieve it, it would be unhealthy and unnatural for me. So, that was exciting, because it means that I'm closer to my goal than I thought I was, and who doesn't like hearing that they don't have to lose as much weight as they thought they did?

We had a good chat about Weight Watchers in general, and about how it was incredibly, effortlessly effective for me at the beginning and has gotten slower and more challenging since then. He was really helpful, and said a lot of things that I had been thinking already, but that I was afraid were just justifications, and he said some stuff that I didn't know. Like for example, since I have Hashimoto's disease, my thyroid function will never be totally even--it will go up and down and so sometimes it will be very easy to lose weight and other times it will be much harder.

He also said that it's totally OK that my surgery threw me off course for so long because of the short-term weight gain and the inability to go to the gym. And that there is no minimum rate of weight loss that you need to achieve in order to be successful. And that being overweight isn't synonymous with being unhealthy, and that in fact I am generally very healthy and take good care of myself.

Basically, I left feeling much better about Weight Watchers, and how tough it's been recently. Because it has been tough, and it's so hard not to compare my weight loss rate now back to what it was in the first six months, when it was like the weight was just melting off no matter what, and now it's more like two steps forward, one step back. It requires a lot more thought, and gym attendance, and careful calculations, and general effort to keep losing weight, and I have to say that I feel a little resentful and discouraged because of that.

But the doctor made me feel better. He validated all my feelings, and he told me that this is all very normal and to be expected, and that it doesn't mean I should just give up altogether, and that all weight loss is good, even if it's not the superhuman weight loss that I was achieving before, and that I shouldn't feel bad or guilty or like I'm not doing enough because of this. He said that it's great that I'm still losing weight, and that I've done a fantastic job overhauling my lifestyle, and that everything I'm doing is improving my health, and that's the most important thing.

And he's right. It's really hard to remember that when I think about all the superficial reasons why I want to lose weight--things that I'm sure you can all relate to, like fitting into or looking good in clothes that I couldn't have worn before, and impressing people who knew me in my fattest days, and being a gorgeous bride, and all those other things. And I don't have a problem with having superficial motivations for losing weight, because those things do matter to me, and I don't see why there's anything wrong with that.

Because I have more important reasons for wanting to lose weight too, chief among them my health and the health of my future baby if/when I get pregnant someday. And that combination of reasons is enough motivation to keep going. And so I'm still going to the gym, and I'm still recording my points, and I'm going to keep on keeping on. And I just have to believe that the rest will take care of itself.

34 comments:

  1. good for you!
    also, where are you going to have needs for malaria pills?

    yeah, nothing says romance like malaria infested locales...

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  2. So glad you felt better after seeing the doctor. Sometimes it is hard to look at the big picture when for so long it has been all about the numbers on the scale.

    I totally get it.

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  3. I think I am going to mirror your approach to losing weight when I quit smoking.

    Just keep keeping on.

    And dude, I love your doctor!

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  4. You have the best doctor EVER. And good for you for keeping with the WW. I know it gets hard after awhile, but I think all 'diet'/lifestyle changes/etc. are that way, and at least WW has some support function if you wanted it. How awesome is it to hear that you don't have to lose x number of pounds?!?!?!

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  5. I'm in love with your doctor. I want a doctor like that!!

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  6. It's refreshing to hear a doctor actually say a goal weight is too low. I've had the same frustrations with weight loss. It was SO easy in the beginning and the weight literally just fell off. I'm still having a hard time getting back into that weight loss zone.

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  7. That's awesome that you have a good doctor like that!!

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  8. Sounds like you have a great doctor! And a great outlook on the whole weight loss thing.

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  9. Your doctor sounds great! So glad you feel better about how/what you're doing with WW.

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  10. I totally know the feeling-- When I'm dieting the first 20 pounds come off like nothing and then I have to work, which is annoying... really, really annoying. Ugh.

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  11. You're an inspiration to the rest of us!

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  12. I've heard a lot of horror stories about doctors shaming patients about their size so I am very relieved to hear you have a good doc. Sure, all those superficial motivations count for something but it's great that you also recognize the long-term benefits. When I think about losing weight, I think about the kids I want to have too.

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  13. I would really love to have a doctor be so... honest with me! Not to generalize what he said to you, but I bet there are more than a few women who are setting too low of a goal for themselves, and getting frustrated and not knowing what to do. A lot of them (us?) don't have talk to anyone about it though. Just reading it here made me feel better about my own struggles.

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  14. Good for you Jess!

    Keep at it. You are gonna be a good momma. Looking after oneself is a gift to the family - there are so many benefits to being healthy and you seem to totally get that.

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  15. Wow, you definitely sound like you have a good doctor- I'm actually very jealous of you right now! My mom had the same issue with WW- she said it was really easy in the beginning, but as the months went on it did get harder. I know everyone is different and that everyone has different goals, but I thought I would let you know- you are definitely not the only one who has experienced the WW slow down after months on the program.

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  16. Yes yes yes, those are really great reasons to pursue a healthy lifestyle. I'm so inspired by your honesty and dedication, Jess. Keep at it, and don't get discouraged!

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  17. And that healthy attitude will take you a lot farther than anything else.

    Go you!

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  18. Um, yah, I was eating popcorn whilst reading this post, and now I feel super guilty. And also fat. And now I want to move to DC for ANOTHER reason, that being your doctor. :)

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  19. Yay for the clean bill of health!!

    It's great, also, that you have such a supportive doctor.

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  20. Oh, I loved this post. Of course I am glad you feel good about keeping on, keeping on and such, but I am soooo glad you have a great doctor that you can talk to about your whole health. yay for you!

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  21. i am SO overdue for a physical. like.... 5 years overdue. also i totally keep accidentally going to malaria zones without getting the shots. AM A TERRIBLE EXAMPLE OF HEALTH. maybe i should go see your doctor :-)

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  22. What an encouraging post, Jess! That doctor's visit sounds like the best possible kind one could hope for. I'm so glad you're sticking with it - it's encouraging for the rest of us and will make modeling a healthy lifestyle to your kids that much easier.

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  23. You always maintain such a healthy perspective. It's enviable.

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  24. He sounds fantastic.
    You won't believe what type of patronizing things some of my friends have heard from their doctors when discussing their weight!

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  25. great news!

    i joined weight watchers last night after thinking about how well it has worked for you! only problem is that i joined it before going grocery shopping...so i am trying to find something healthy to eat!

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  26. Yay for being closer to your goal! Also, sounds like you got yourself a good doctor, which is always nice to hear about.

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  27. You bet it will!

    I have a big strong frame...makes beautiful little girls ;)

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  28. I'm totally still thinking about the malaria medication. Crazy!

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  29. How nice that a doctor was so ... sensible.

    And you're going to be a gorgeous bride no matter what!

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  30. This is so exciting for you and you must feel so so validated. I love it when that happens.

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