Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Home for the holidays

Today I have a question for all of you about holidays. At what point did you stop going home for the holidays? Or have you stopped? Have you ever hosted Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever at your own place? Have you ever spent the holidays away from your own family, and if so, what was that like?

We haven't ever hosted a holiday ourselves. The only holidays with my parents that I've ever missed were Thanksgiving and Christmas the year that I was studying abroad in France, and it was very strange. Thanksgiving was particularly strange because they don't celebrate it in France and I didn't even realize that it was Thanksgiving until my parents called the day of. Once I realized it, I felt sad and lonely, especially I ate leftover vegetable soup for dinner with my host family.

Christmas was weird too. We celebrated it at the grandparents' house in Provence, and they had only a tiny little tree. My parents had sent me a Christmas package but I opened it by myself because I was afraid my host family would find it extravagant. They all exchanged one gift each and my parents had sent me five or six. I had two presents under the tree--from my host family, a scarf I'd been coveting wrapped in a pretty purple package, and from the grandparents, a packet of new Euro coins. It was Christmas 2001, right before the Euro was introduced, and the post office had been selling these baggies of coins as a preview and a collector's item. The grandparents had bought the same thing for me and my two older host siblings, and had opened only one of the packets to look at the coins out of their own curiosity. They gave the opened packet to me.

My boyfriend had broken up with me via email the week before, and I hadn't told my parents about it yet, so I told them about it when they called to say Merry Christmas, and they were stunned and didn't know what to say. It didn't ruin anyone's Christmas, though, except maybe mine. But I don't think that would have been the best Christmas regardless. It was just too different.

The day after Christmas the grandparents served canned peas and carrots with lunch, and even though I didn't like those vegetables, it was the first time that they had actually made me throw up. I was horrified at myself until I realized that it wasn't the peas and carrots--it was the fact that I was sick. I spent the whole day puking. When I got better, the grandmother taught me how to make coq au vin, but by now I've forgotten the recipe.

The following year at Thanksgiving, my dad and I planned the meal, and made entirely French side dishes--stuffed tomato, and eggplant ragout, and potato gratin, and chocolate mousse for dessert along with pumpkin pie. I used the cookbook that my French family had given me. I still have that cookbook but I haven't used it in years.

We'll be going to my parents' house again this year for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving is always easy because Torsten's family, being German, doesn't celebrate it, and really Christmas is easy too because Torsten's parents are used to him being far away and don't really expect him to come home and celebrate it. But Torsten would like to go home for Christmas at least some years, and I'd like that too. But I imagine it will be strange for me, like it was in France.

I do look forward to someday hosting Thanksgiving or Christmas in our house, a spacious place we own with a kitchen that has enough space to cook a big meal, and a spare room for guests to stay in, and a fireplace and room for a real Christmas tree. But I suppose either Torsten or I will have to learn to cook a turkey before we can host Thanksgiving. And I'm still not sure how that transition will happen. I always go home for the holidays. My sister stayed at home one year and had Thanksgiving with friends, but the report that I got was that it was weird and a bit lonely and sad. Maybe you have to have kids before you start staying home? Or maybe even then, you don't?

This is where you come in. What's your holiday routine, and how has it changed over the years?

65 comments:

  1. We do Thanksgiving at one family's place and Christmas at the other. Keeps both families happy.

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  2. I'm so selfish when it comes to holidays. Probably b/c we spent T-day with my husband's mom last year and she made FISH! Who makes fish on Thanksgiving.

    I guess I just don't like the idea of not spending such precious holiday time with my family. But the husband and I have already decided that once we have kids, everyone has to come to us. :)

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  3. As the baby of the family I've always just gone with the flow and gone to what ever house is hosting. This year is the first year I've had a real boyfriend for the holidays and we will have to start splitting time. As my sister has been splitting time for almost 15 years I feel bad that this will be the first year that my parents will be all alone for at least part of the day. (Most likely the Teacher and I will plan to be at my parent's house at the same time my sister and her family will be there.) I know there is nothing I can do about it, it is only fair that we spend time at The Teacher's family's house as well, but I feel bad.

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  4. I've spent very few holidays away from my parents and always found them lacking. Maybe because my parents always made such a big deal out of them and to other people it seems extravagant? I don't know. Once we have our own home I'd love to host our own Thanksgiving, but for me, Christmas will always be at my parent's house.

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  5. JG and I split up holidays so that he gets Thanksgiving and I get Christmas. Thanksgiving is always at his grandma's house, although managing that as she gets older is starting to become a chore. This year, we're hosting Christmas at our house (hopefully!). I'm trying to get us on an alternating schedule with my grandma, who usually hosts it, because it causes a lot of stress for both her and my mom, even if they don't admit it. Plus, our house has things like cable and the internet and a DVD player that can make large gatherings easier.

    The first Christmas that JG and I were married, we totally bailed on my family and stayed at home. It was traumatic. I was a terrible daughter. But I had a wonderful Christmas, and no one has been disowned, so I'm fine with it.

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  6. A great topic that I've been wrestling with lately too (again, get out of my head plzkthx). We're going home for Thanksgiving this year, but we're traveling so much the next few months that - combined with kind of sucky work schedules - we've decided not to go any where for Christmas. We're hoping my parents will come see us (Zach's family doesn't celebrate it), but I can tell they aren't thrilled at the prospect.

    Truthfully, this is the first year I feel like I wouldn't mind a non-traditional Christmas (that is, away from 'home'): And what I'm most afraid of is that after years of always making the effort to come home, my parents will decide they don't want to reciprocate. There's a lot more to this topic, but suffice it to say, that would hurt most of all.

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  7. Adam and I split it so that he gets Thanksgiving, I get Christmas. It's easy -- he's Jewish, and his family doesn't celebrate it. Occasionally, due to his sister's divorce settlement with her ex, we celebrate T'giving the first week in December, which in effect gives me both holidays.

    I'm really accustomed to this kind of thing, though, because I grew up with divorced parents and had to run all over creation anyway. I'm not too attached to any one tradition, because there were so many at different people's homes, at different times in my life.

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  8. I missed Easter a few tmes when I was living and traveling in Europe.

    The hardest has been when I moved to chciago. Becasue of the whole job situation I could only take off for Thanksgiving or Christmas but not both. So I choose Christmas. The first Thanksgiving was hard but my co-workers had me over and made me feel like I was one of their kids

    Since meeting and dating the BF I've spent Thanksgiving and this last Christmas with his family.

    This year we are heading back to NY to finally celebrate Thanksgiving there. It has been 5 years

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  9. My parents are divorced and live in FL and SC. I live in TX ... and now I'm married. So our holidays are CRAZY.

    This year we are Thanksgiving'ing in FL ... and doing Christmas in SC ...

    i hosted one year. I made my mom get a pre-cooked turkey from a restaurant and we just did the sides and it worked out GREAT.

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  10. it is BLASPHEMY in my family to miss thanksgiving. the only time any member of the family has missed it, to my knowledge, was the year i was in france as well.

    we usually do a very small xmas with just my nuclear family, which i love. the france year i wasn't there, which was weird and crappy, but my college (and france) roommate's family came and totally included me in their celebration, which was super nice. one year we had xmas at my house in va, but with the whole family. i don't know WHAT will happen when i ever get a serious bf or a husband, because i totally am not willing to give up either holiday :-)

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  11. My holiday is easy. Thanksgiving has always been our family holiday. Our extended family, too. Being Jewish, Christmas hasn't been as important (though my family has been celebrating the holiday with the same friends for 30 years).

    Once Sweets and I get married, we have agreed that Thanksgiving is with my family and Christmas is with his. But, we've also agreed to always try to include the "outed" parents - if they are willing to travel, we'd love for them to join us. That way, even if we can't spend the holidays with our family, at least they feel included.

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  12. This will be our first engaged holiday season and we're not looking forward to figuring out the logistics! For the last three years we've just done the split time on both days as our parents live 10 minutes apart from each other. But pre-engagement we both ended up sleeping at our respective parents house. Well this year we want to wake up together on Christmas morning -- but the big question is -- where do we sleep?!?! It would be silly for us to drive back to our house that is almost an hour away when we would be going straight back to our parents area. We both grew up with big families and big celebrations and this is going to be a tough decision. I don't want to not be with my family - and he doesn't want to be away from his. Yikes. I dread this "talk"!!

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  13. Ryan and I spend Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other, and then the next year we switch. But they both live within driving distance so it's possible for us. Maybe you could make an arrangement to go to Germany every other year or something for Christmas, since it's so far?

    As far as hosting goes, I don't think we'll host a holiday until we aren't able to travel (too many small kids or something). My sisters have children, and one of them will occasionally miss a holiday because she has to stay home, but she doesn't like it because she's used to our large and loud family.

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  14. I always went to my Gram's for Christmas Eve. Last year was the first year I didn't go because my boyfriend's mom was very sick. It was really weird to miss that because Christmas Eve is the big night for our family.

    Now that we're all settled in the new house together we've decided to split the holidays. This year we're going to see my family [in Pittsburgh] at Thanksgiving and stay here [in Philadelphia] at Christmas. It might change next year, but who knows.

    I like your idea of hosting a holiday someday, but my family lives so far away that his family would be the only ones to benefit. We'll see what happens!!

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  15. I haven't stopped going home for the holidays, and won't. I refuse to compromise which makes me an evil girlfriend but until there is a ring on this finger, I will be spending both holidays with my family. And, even when/if there's a ring on my finger, I'll probably be a bitch about it and make us do, like, breakfast with his family and spend the rest of the day/night with mine. This year, HOM came to Thanksgiving and I went to his family's.... Easter. HA! I don't even believe in Easter :) But his family do holidays wrong and it made me sad, even on stupid Easter.

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  16. My family is pretty close, figuratively and geographically, so we do a family celebration once a month that includes aunts, uncles, cousins and their families - a group of about 30. Homer's family is not close, so all holidays are done with my side.

    The one thing that did change with kids is that we wanted to be in our own home for Christmas morning. That took a little getting used to for my mom, but it's just part of the routine now.

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  17. ARGH. The holidays!

    After running ourselves ragged running from house to house to satisfy everyone, we put our foot down last year. Whichever family gets Thanksgiving gets Christmas Day, and the other family gets Christmas Eve (which is a bigger deal for both families).

    But we still have five Christmases, which is ridiculous: ours (just me & Jason), Christmas Eve with one family, Christmas Day with the other, a "makeup" Christmas Eve for whoever didn't get it (usually a week or 2 before Christmas), and Christmas with my dad's side of the family, who usually celebrates it on New Year's Eve, which BLOWS because they are 4 hours away.

    This year, I think we're going to have to just say each family gets ONE Christmas, whether it's spent with just immediate family or the whole extended family. None of this 2 Christmases per family crap anymore. It's gotten to the point that Jason & I don't enjoy the holidays.

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  18. We live in MA. My maternal family is in NY, my paternal family is in FL, my mother-in-law lives in WA, and my sister-in-law and niece live in NV. This causes problems 'round holiday time to say the least. This year, the hub has said that we'll go to NY if my mom cooks a totally vegetarian meal (fat chance) because he wants to stay home and fry a tofurky like we did last year when I was writing my book and couldn't go anywhere.

    It sucks because no matter what we do, someone is offended.

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  19. Our holidays haven't changed too much - but this year my fiance and I are contemplating having Thanksgiving at our house. It's right after the wedding and it'll be the first get together since my mom and step-dad started the divorce proceedings. I don't want her to have to make the meal alone this year, it seems impossibly sad, so we're going to give her the year off.

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  20. I have never not spend the holidays with my family. Thankfully, Bry and my immediate families both live in the same town so when we do get married, we'll be able to see both families on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sometimes my family goes to Michigan to visit the extended family, too, but I'm always with my family during the holidays.

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  21. T-day is easy because I'm an only child (sort of) and my parents are divorced so my mom comes to dinner at the in-laws. Christmas is so much harder - I hate making those plans every year.

    We decided once we have kids we're staying home and people come to us.

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  22. I have never missed a christmas at home and i cant imagine a time when i will, though im sure it will happen.
    I have missed almost all thanksgivings since I went to school. and in Grad school I hosted an "orphan thanksgiving" every year where anyone who had no where to be came over and I cooked.
    I had anywhere from 18 to 32 people each year, and I did the works; 22lb bird, 3 pies, homemade mac and cheese, mashed potatos, dressing, biscuits, salad, green bean casarole, gravy, you name it.
    So much fun for me, I love to cook and entertain.
    so on that note, I would love to host a holiday in my beautiful, made-up, future home!

    (wanna come?)

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  23. i have always been home for the holidays and i honestly can't imagine not being home - i would be so sad!

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  24. This is the first time I've had to do the "my/your family" thing...but in my family its a bit weird. My mom doesn't own her own house alone but shares it with my aunt (her sister), so last year my siblings and I (with my mom, of course) went to an Ashram for a week, just to get away and have our own celebration. This year I think she's staying home, and I'm staying here and celebrating it with the bf's parents. I DID invite my mom to come here for Christmas if she wanted but she probably won't...before last year though, I didn't go home or spend it with friends - I just spent Christmas alone for about three years.

    Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday, so I go home for it, and the bf is coming with me this time.

    I don't know if we'll start hosting our own in the future, but I don't think so, unless we move cross-country or something.

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  25. Hubby's family is in town, mine is 14 hours away. We don't visit my families on the holidays. We go to hubby's mom's house on Christmas Eve, and do a quieter celebration with the three of us at home on Christmas.

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  26. my routine hasn't really changed. i always spend the holidays with my family. if i'm dating someone, i visit their family (if they live close by, i'll visit on the same day, if far away, i'll visit a day or so afterwards). now i worry what it will be like when i get married...i guess alternate families by holiday and year? that seems fair.

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  27. We still celebrate with our families. That is what holidays are for, right? Our House is still a little smallish, so we usually don't host holidays there. Still go to my folks' house, with the large kitchen.

    Oh, and when you finally cook that turkey? Take a look at the Pioneer Woman's cooking site. Best turkey I ever made.

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  28. We live SO far from all our families that it makes holidays difficult. Now that we have kids we have put our foot down about traveling all the time. Our goal is to travel to the IL's once a year and my parents once a year. The rest of the time they come to us. If we're able to go more than once, great, but if not - oh well.
    Last year was the first year EVER that we've spent Christmas at home. It was fabulous. I don't mind traveling for Thanksgiving right now, but that might change in the future.
    We try to travel after Christmas, a few days later, since D has time off work. :)

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  29. Since I am not married, I have the luxury of doing whatever I want. I have missed Thanksgiving with my family and it's been weird but good to learn to celebrate with friends. I love hosting Thanksgiving. It's a lot of work but such a feast! (Don't worry, you can always order a pre-made turkey if it comes down to it. ;-))

    I think I'd have a hard time not being with my family at Christmas. There are only three of us so we are tight. I'm sure eventually I will have to face this but right now, I live in la la land.

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  30. I always went home but now that I live across the county from them AND I am married it has completely changed. We typically host Thanksgiving for anyone who wants to fly in to see us or for friends in the area. It is just too expensive and hectic to fly across the country for 4 days. As for Christmas, we alternate each year between his parents house and mine. I hope your experience will be better than mine but I kind of hate Christmas with his family and I always cry at least once. It's just not MY family with OUR routines and traditions. I'm hoping that will improve over the years...but I am not holding my breath.

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  31. We usually have Thanksgiving lunch at his maternal grandparents' house with his extended family and Thanksgiving supper with my extended family at an aunt's or uncle's house. That always takes a lot out of us, so we occasionally skip my family's holiday. Skipping his is not an option because his grandmother is PSYCHO and will flip out if we don't put in an appearance.

    Christmas is doubly nuts. Previously, we have celebrated Eve at his parents', then his paternal grandmothers'. Day morning was at my parents', moving to his maternal grandparents' for late morning/early afternoon, then my extended family for the evening (again, we sometimes skip this one). My mom gave us some relief last year, telling us we don't have to celebrate on the day, but maybe the weekend before or after, whenever is convenient for us all.

    Now that we have a child, I don't know if we'll add another for just us, but I have a feeling things'll get crazier and I'll want to skip even more holiday gatherings.

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  32. Ok, I just wrote this huge comment which should probably be it's own post.

    The summary is that we always do Thanksgiving with my family, and I hosted it last year, and will host it again this year. We weren't able to travel last year or this year, so my mom suggested having it at my house. Easy transition.

    For Christmas, we usually one weekend at my in-laws, and the next weekend at my mom's. We generally try to spend Christmas with the in-laws since there are a lot of nieces and nephews on that side of the family, while my family is all adults who don't mind waiting a few days to open presents. I think we will transition to Christmas day on our own when our kid is old enough to understand opening presents.

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  33. I am always at my parents' house for Thanksgiving because they live in GA too. T has been having Turkey Day with us for years, and sometimes his family comes too. I've always spent Christmas with my family (it's my sister's birthday too), but this year it will be different. Since T's family is in NY, and we hardly see them, we are going there for Christmas this year since we are married. It will be really weird to not be at home for Christmas. But I think we'll just alternate years so each family will get to spend Christmas with us.

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  34. My parents were still living in Europe when we got married, and Phillip's parents aren't big on celebrating holidays, so we mostly spent them with my extended family. I've hosted Thanksgiving once and Christmas once, but now that my parents moved back and my mom is the Holiday Hostess, I don't see myself doing that again any time soon.

    Phillip's family (all immigrants from China) doesn't do holidays. And when they do host something, it's always a little weird- my family is on the extravagant side too.

    I would love to go to Germany at Christmastime. They have the best decorations and treats and the Christmas markets are a blast. Jealous!

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  35. My parents live out of state and travel at that time of year is icky, so we just go to Lord of the Manor's parents' place for both those holidays. I'd wanted to have our very first Christmas at our own home, but his mother insisted, so guess what we did... yeah. I wasn't all that pleased.

    But when Spawn got married, I told her, "You do the holidays the way YOU want. If you want to spend them with us, great, if you're going to his parents, that's fine too." There was no way I was going to force her to spend the holidays doing something she didn't feel like doing.

    Now, they come to our house for Christmas Eve, his folks' place for Christmas morning, and my in-laws for the evening gathering.

    I'd host it, but our place is a little small for 25 people.

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  36. I've only missed Thanksgiving twice. The first time was in 2005, and it was because I was in the hospital. The second time was last year, and it was because I couldn't get the day off of work. I've only missed Christmas once. It was in 2005, and it was because of aforementioned hospital stay. I felt horrible each time.

    I don't know what I'm going to do this year though. In 2006 the boyfriend and I each did holidays with our own families. Last year he came to my family's holidays because his were out of state. Now his family is back, and both of our families are inviting both of us to their celebrations. It's quite a quagmire.

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  37. We don't do Thanksgiving in Europe, so that's a non-issue for me.
    When I was growing up we more or less alternated years: one year we'd go skiing as a family, another we'd go back to the UK and celebrate Christmas with the extended family. Later on we stopped doing the 'back to the UK' thing and sometimes just stayed home for Christmas. I really miss the extended family Christmases. Last year I did a work placement in the UK, so I was there over christmas again and it was so right. So I'm planning to go back to the UK again this year even if my parents and siblings are unlikely to join us... :-)

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  38. In the past few years, Thanksgiving has been reserved for the friends I have who don't have family in town. We've become our own family of sorts and it's a way to bring everyone together in one place for a nice, relaxing meal. Everyone brings something, the host roasts the turkey and we all sit around the table for ages talking about everything under the sun. Christmas, on the other hand, is almost exclusively reserved for my mother.

    There are a lot of reasons I've split the holidays for myself. One because my family has a history of drama and I can only take so much, but also because my friends mean so incredibly much to me that they are, truly, my selected family and being around them on a day called Thanksgiving is something I can truly be thankful for.

    :)

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  39. I'm worried about this with Tony. We'll have to pick somebody's parents and neither of us really wants to give up our traditions. :(

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  40. I've always been with my family on Christmas Day, and last year Drew was with me. Thanksgiving was with his family. We were with his family right after Christmas, too. This year, now that we're married, I get to partake in the Russian Orthodox festivities that are held on Christmas Eve, with his family. I'm actually looking forward to it, I hear there is a lot of vodka involved. We'll get to see my family probably the days following Christmas. The benefits of our families living in the same state! I think it will be strange not being with my family on Christmas day but I'm lucky that I like my in-laws very much so I'm happy to spend time with them.
    I'd like to eventually host either Thanksgiving or Christmas for our families. For a few years we had a traditional Thanksgiving at our place with all of our friends. It was always a good time. Lots of food, friends, fun, football...and wine!

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  41. Reading these comments was informative for me. I had no idea that this was such a big issue for so many people.

    This is probably going to be the first Christmas I don't go home, and it's likely that I'm going to be spending it alone. I would be hesitant to travel across four time zones at that time of year anyway, but it doesn't seem likely that I'll have a job that will give me enough time off to make the trip worth it. The people I live with will likely all be going home for Christmas, too. Oh well. Being alone will maybe give me some motivation to do something worthwhile with my spare time.

    Also, sorry again for ruining Christmas that time.

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  42. When I lived in DC, my two best friends and I stayed in DC for Thanksgiving and hosted the holiday. It became my favorite tradition with my friend-family. It is actually harder for me to be with mine or A.'s parents for Thanksgiving, because I miss my friend-family one so much.

    It was fun to host the meal. The last Thanksgiving together we asked everyone to bring a side dish that was traditional to their own family gatherings. Very sweet.

    Last year was the first year I didn't go home for christmas. We spent it with A.'s family. They were wonderful to me. His sister even gave me a special hug and thanked me for spending my first Christmas away with them. I still get a little weepy thinking about it.

    You see, my mom died on Christmas Eve (it will be 16 years this year) and so I've always been pretty adamant that I'd always spend Christmas -- or Christmas Eve, rather -- with my sisters and Dad. It is a special holiday for us for a number of reasons, as you can imagine.

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  43. When I was a kid, we always went to both grandparents, and had a party at home.

    Now, I alternate every holiday with my family (in Iowa) and my in-laws (in Kansas City). This year, it is Christmas with my fam THANK GOD. Being with his family on Christmas is about as foreign as being in France - no one is happy and loud.

    Last year, we had Thanksgiving at our home, with 7 friends from Chicago who could not make it home. It was a BLAST. They all said it was their best Thanksgiving ever. No family drama. No pressure to eat certain dishes. Lots of fun games. I hope we can do it again.

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  44. Yea, I'm still hoping for that "someday" hosting at our house. We got away with it one year because we had a newborn, but before and especially since, our holidays are basically eaten up by holiday travel. We alternate parents' houses. If we skip more than 1 year, the jilted parent(s) get cranky.

    Don't tell, but I like going to my in-laws' house much better.

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  45. I stopped going home for Thanksgiving in college because it was just too expensive to fly home when for a few days when I'd be flying home for Christmas break a few weeks later, so I've had a good decade to get used to Thanksgiving in my own space. The last couple of years we've had my Mom come over to our place for Thanksgiving and Will has cooked and that always turns out to be a fun holiday. Christmas is a little more tricky--while there have been a few Christmases when I wasn't at my Mom's place, I haven't ever spent the holiday without her until this past year... We did Christmas a week later because of her vacation, but it still felt a little bit sad and lonely to have December 24 and 25 just be regular days. This year Will's Dad wants Will's side of the family to all get together (except for his Mom) for one of the holidays and can I just say? That is some family drama I am not looking forward to...though I have always wondered what it would be like to experience a Thanksgiving that made the movie Home for the Holidays look like a Norman Rockwell painting. :)

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  46. We don't live near either of our families which proves challenging for holidays. Canadian thanksgivings are generally spent there, and we host a few people for our Thanksgiving. Christmas last year we spent alone, which was strange. We are planning on doing the baby's first Christmas alone here again this year, which makes me sad and yet excited, since it is an opportunity to build our own traditions and at the same time I think I will be homesick. The logistics of holidays will probably only get more complicated as my siblings get married and reproduce.

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  47. We just go with the flow and have no traditions whatsoever. In my family all the kids live all over the place and we are grown adults with spouses so to get together at Christmas and be jammed into one house for 24 hrs a day for a few days is just too much at this point in our lives. Throw in ridiculous airfare, and it's just not worth it. We make an effort to get together as a family at least once a yr, but with people's scheds and stuff, Christmas is not usually the time. The best Christmas I ever had was in '06 when me and my husband were newlyweds and we did Christmas all by ourselves. LOVED it. In mid January when the Christmas kafuffle had died down we went to the states to visit his fam. All this being said, I love Christmas and think it is a great time to reflect and slow down.

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  48. i still have a very traditional Christmas and Thanksgiving with my family. my grandma cooks a huge dinner on each holiday. we always have turkey, ham, and dressing. and we open lots of gifts as a family.

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  49. Dave and I have started splitting Thanksgiving. Last year was his family, so this year is mine. Plus we're seeing his family for his grandma's 90th birthday like 2 weeks before then.

    Christmas/Hanukkah and Easter/Passover are easy, since I'm Jewish and Dave's Christian! Unless they fall on the same day - doh!

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  50. Both of our parents live in the same city, within 5 freaking miles of each other. So we do both holidays every damn year with both families. IT IS EXHAUSTING. Which is why we are going to Mexico the week after Christmas.

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  51. We go my family for Thanksgiving, and his family for Christmas, although we usually go to my family's on Christmas evening.

    Last year was the first time that the two of us were alone on Christmas Eve and he got drunk at his dad's Christmas Eve dinner and I cried most of the night. Although he never knew I shed one tear. I missed the chaos and the excitement of Christmas Eve at my parents house. It wasn't fun last year.

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  52. Last year I spent my first christmas away from my parents places, just hanging out at the flat with my friends, eating yummy food, napping, and drinking.

    It was a little weird because we don't really have our own traditions, but I thought it was absolute bliss.

    My family is split, and both parents have new partners, so Xmas feels a bit like being shipped around a whole heap of families I don't really know. Also I don't have my own car so there's no way to excape when the constant surrounding of family and family friends and crazy step brothers and sisters gets too much.

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  53. My parents live in Florida and Tony and I live in Philly. We spend every Christmas with my parents. They've either come up or we've gone down. This year, might be the first year we don't go down and I'm not sure if they're coming up.

    Thanksgiving pre-boyfriend would be spent with my family in Brooklyn. But now that I live a bit further away, and since the holiday is a sad time for the boyfriend, we spend it at home. It's actually pretty nice. We usually catch a matinee and then I always make turkey (hint check out elise.com/recipes for her's. Delicious! Oh and buy a good meat thermometer. This year I overcooked mine because the thermometer was broken.) We have a ton of food, but it's always just a really nice day.

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  54. I absolutely still go home for the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas are the biggest holidays in my family. Sometimes I wish my family would come to me but the sad thing is I know they won't. That's tough but in the end, there's no place like home :)

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  55. Last Christmas Ryan and I spent the day in China and the best we could find for Christmas lunch was subway! I cried when I rang home. I realised that Christmas isnt Christmas unless you're with people you love (beyond just one person I mean).

    My family live in New Zealand and I live in Australia. Though the idea is to alternate Chrismtas Day, in reality I havent been home for two in a row and this year I wont either. From next year I will alternate Ryan's family and mine because my family miss me and I them. We dont do thanksgiving so it's really only Christmas day to worry about. I think we will continue to alternate just to be fair but if something happens and we cant, I need to get home at least every third Christmas.

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  56. I used to go home for every holiday. Then when Chris and I started dating, we starting going to one family or the other, every other holiday. Then we decided that we hated traveling for every holiday, and decided that we'd only travel for one holiday a year, and invite people here for the other one. Well that all fell apart, and these days we basically do whatever the hell we want, LOL. This year for Christmas we're taking 17 days and doing a Mexico camping/road trip, just me and him. It'll be great, I hate all of the expectations associated with holidays.

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  57. I dont have a significant other at the moment. But we all typically go to my grandparents on Christmas Eve and then do Christmas morning with my mom and brother.

    Thanksgiving it varies each year....instead of the family thing, I've been doing it with friends and its a fun relaxed day, without family drama.

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  58. This is something that's been on my mind a bit lately. I'm young, so I'm still living at home- but I'm moving out in abour 3 weeks, and the thing that crosses my mind the most often is how different things will be for the Holidays. Specifically, for me, not waking up in my house on Christmas morning. It'll be so different to not be spending that time with the people I've spent all of my holidays with. Even though I know I'll head there later on in the day, it's just too weird to think about.

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  59. we rotate thanksgivings and go to my parents' one year and joe's the next. since he's jewish though, we go to my parents' house every year for christmas (his parents come too), and my whole family goes to his parents' for hanukkah. it's a lot of fun that way.

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  60. This is one of the few areas where I really recommend marrying someone who can't stand his family, because I ONLY want to go to MY family's house for holidays---and we get to. During my first marriage, our plan was to alternate and we went to his family's house, and it was one of the most miserable Christmasses I've ever had. It didn't even feel like Christmas. Not because of the way they celebrated (they did presents and a big meal and decorations and everything) but because it wasn't the Christmas I was used to, with my own family.

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  61. We still split up for Christmas, as our parents live in different cities, though we made pact to stop spending New Years apart this year.

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  62. My first Christmas away from Home was the first year we were married. I had only lived in America for seven months, I still had hardly any real friends and I hated nearly every minute of it. My only consolation was that my parents were equally miserable without me. So when they got together with all my aunts, uncles and cousins, they called and passed the phone around and I got to talk to everybody. Then I hung up and went in the bathroom and cried. It's gotten a lot easier since then though and it makes the holidays we DO get to spend together that much more meaningful.

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  63. We always made a point of seeing both our families at both Thanksgiving (Canadian) and Christmas -- they live only an hour or so apart so we can visit both at the same time. Still, it's always been a fight as to who will "get" Christmas morning, and we have to alternate years -- this despite the fact that my husband's family does not celebrate Christmas (they are Hindu), so "Christmas morning" there means no tree, no presents, no special breakfast, nothing at all.

    The first year we did Christmas morning at my husband's parents' house, it was so strange. I was very sad and felt the real lack of tradition and family. Now that we have our own little kids, we've decided to always spend Christmas morning at home -- because they believe in Santa and we don't want to cause any Santa stress by being on the road, at a different location every year. It's nice to have a holiday in your own home but the first two years (this year will be our third), it really was strange -- even though we were doing the tree/presents/stockings things, I still felt the lack of family and tradition. I guess it just takes years of doing the same thing over and over before it really feels like home!

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  64. Since we had children, anyone who wants to spend the holidays with us has to come to our house. We do not travel, especially at Christmas. It just didn't seem right to have the kids open their presents and then say "Ok, leave our new toys behind and get ready for a 2-hour ride in the car!"

    Before having children, we really didn't go anywhere either. I worked full-time on a church staff and most holidays are religious ones. We usually ended up spending the day or at least sharing a meal with one of our church families.

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  65. This will be the first time my fiance and I will be hosting Thanksgiving. I haven't missed Christmas at home so far....and fiance and I will be going home again. This is the first time a significant other will be joining me so it's a big deal.

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