Tuesday, October 2, 2007

First kiss

I didn't have my first kiss until I was 14 years old. I mean, I had kisses for sure, like spin the bottle kisses and truth or dare kisses and a couple other kid things like that, but the first time I kissed someone without anyone watching, when it was real, I was a freshman in high school. In fact, my first kiss was at school, in the library (and, ha ha, now I know that somebody I went to high school with reads this blog, which makes this slightly more awkward--hi Suzanne!) when we were supposed to be in class.

The boy was older than me, but I can't remember if he was in my grade or the one above it. He was the one who initiated everything. We had been sent by our history teacher to do some research--and I don't remember exactly what we were supposed to be doing or what reason we had to be spending so long in the library. But we were sitting at a table in the reference section, reading something out of a volume of an encyclopedia, and then somehow we ended up sitting on the floor, leaning against a bookshelf, kissing.

In retrospect, I think he must have been a good kisser, because everything about it felt natural and right and easy. I remember wishing he would use his tongue, and thinking that if I opened my mouth maybe he would, so I did, and he did. At the time I assumed all kisses were like that, natural and in sync--though several boys would definitively prove that assumption wrong later in high school.

I don't remember getting nervous about being caught, or getting a thrill from the fact that the librarian was only a few feet away from us at her desk. I don't think the location really affected me at all. I just liked the kissing. And even though I was 14, and 14 is pretty old for a first kiss, and by 14, adolescent hormones are alive and surging, I was definitely still pretty naive about it, because when he took my hand and put it on his fly, I was shocked. I was sort of okay with it at first, but when he tried to drag me into the library bathroom so that he could put my hand inside his pants, the rose-colored lenses came flying off. I wrenched my hand away and told him we had to get back to class, RIGHT THEN.

Then I spent the rest of the year avoiding him and his obnoxious comments, and trying to ignore the few times when he inappropriately grabbed me when we were in crowded rooms. It definitely threw a wrench in my attempts to think of my first kiss as something positive, since it didn't exactly turn out in that sweet, innocent way that I would hope my kids' first kisses would be. But on the other hand, now that it's far away, I remember that the kissing itself was nice, and sweet, and innocent, at least until the part when he tried to drag me into the bathroom. It's a nice benefit of time, the ability to separate out things that were all twisted together in your mind, and realize that even if the overall experience left you with a sour aftertaste, parts of it were still wonderful, or at least very nice.

I don't have a picture of my first kiss, obviously, or of the boy it was with, but I do have a picture of me with another kind of kiss, taken at age 11 when I visited my aunt in Hawaii:

Okay, your turn--what was your first kiss like?


  1. I didn't have my real first kiss until after I turned 16, and it was so gross: the guy was all sloppy tongue and saliva and afterwards I remember thinking: "If this is kissing, I'm out."

    Then one of my good guy friends volunteered to show me a "good" kiss, which I took him up on, and it was much, much better.

  2. My first kiss was when I was 14 years old as well. His name was Neil and he was British, tall, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, and a year older than me. Yes, he was dreamy and yes, he most definitely was a great kisser. Thankfully at the time he gave me my first kiss, there was no hands in the pants business.

  3. Oh dear, first kisses, never as good as they should be. I'm curious to know if anyone really did have a good first kiss? Mine was in the fake wood paneled basement of a friend, with a boy I didn't really like, but just wanted to get it over with. Blech.

  4. oh man, mine wasn't until i was 17, about 2 weeks before i graduated highschool (!!) i was a bit of a... uh.. late bloomer would be putting it nicely. the kiss set-up was PERFECT - it was a guy i'd been madly in love with for the past 3 years, and we were sitting together on a little wall outside at night on campus, and i can still remember my whole body physically trembling as a result. however.... turns out he was not a very good kisser. i dated him that whole summer before college, went off to school and briefly dated another boy there, and it wasn't until the THIRD GUY i kissed, later my freshman year, that i learned that french kissing could actually be enjoyable. up until then i'd assumed it was one of those things girls put up with because guys liked it. how sad is that? :-)

  5. I LOVE your Tuesday retrospective...good idea.

    My first kiss was my freshman year in high school too. With a kid with the last name KRAUTWURST, (think sauerkraut + bratwurst), behind the school during a soccer game. It definitely wasn't romantic and not even all that pleasant. I can't imagine ANY 14 year old boy being THAT good of a kisser. It's funny to look back on that now; I haven't thought about it in ages!

  6. Man, I was 15 made out with a counselor when I was a Jr. counselor at summer camp. He had really thin lips, and was also very slobbery. We made out against a car, and then again on a bridge down by this river.

    He did this climb on top of me thing that sort of made me feel like I was being attacked by a hungry animal...

    It seemed all very exciting at the time, but in retrospect he was pretty gross/hickish, and later I found out had a GF at home who may or may not have been pregnant?!

    Jess! Unreal you kissed in the Library! We must discuss off record who this suitor was!

  7. Okay, I offically love this feature.

    I was in 8th grade, so I guess 13? The old bleachers during a football game song and dance. Oldest story in the book. I remember it being weird, since we covered ourselves up with a JACKET. I'm humiliated just thinking about this.

    Stephanie-That is hilarious. I hope old Krauty doesn't google his ass! I guess he probably mostly find RECIPES when he does that.

  8. My 1st kiss involved a cramped back seat in some kind of crappy car filled with football players and druggies and breath that smelled of Fillet o' Fish and mint gum. I was SO EXCITED. Oh, the memories.

  9. Mine was interrupted by someone sticking their head through the door and asking, "Aren't you done yet?" The next day the couch we were sitting on had been stolen. I guess that's why they needed us to move...

  10. I was 15. He was 20. He was all "I'll wait for you, baby" and I was all "Isn't this illegal?"

    It didn't end happily but then, what first kiss does?

  11. P&D--Thank god for guy friends, right?

    Marie--You appear to be the only person on the planet who had a Disney first kiss.

    Flibberty--I remember the feeling of wanting to get it over with so distinctly. The "I need experience" phase sucked.

    Alice--That's not as sad as the women who think the same thing about sex. At least you found out that you were mistaken relatively early on.

    Stephanie--Thanks! And the guy's name is obviously the best part of your story.

    Suzanne--Let's not call him a suitor. That's a bit too charming of a name for him. His identity can potentially be discussed later.

    Tessie--The jacket is AWESOME.

    Penny--It's amazing how well we remember smells. But Fillet o Fish? Really?

    My Buddy Mimi--The question here is, were you GLAD it was interrupted?

    Jenny--Yuck. 20 and 15 and he was going to wait for you? Not pleasant.

  12. Wow - I can't believe he tried to drag you into a bathroom. Ick!
    I was 15 when I got my first kiss, so older than you.
    The boy was a senior, I was a freshman. He was my first serious boyfriend, and we never moved beyond kisses (which weren't very good, btw.) in the 6 mo we dated.

  13. I can't actually remember THE first kiss either, which is kind of sad. BUT I do remember my first kiss with my now husband. :) Much nicer.

  14. For the record, I think it kicks ass that your first kiss was in the school library.

    I was in junior high, at the movies. It was sweet; I remember being nervous and guilty. (I was raised Catholic, after all!)

  15. GREAT TOPIC! I was 16, and it was with my first boyfriend, and we'd already dated for two months, and there was no "aggressive acceleration," just the kissing (no tongues, even). And then we ended up dating for nearly two years, so I'd say it was a good first kiss. Only bad part: the setting, which was on the couch of a friend's house, with the friend and her boyfriend being all obvious about Going To The Other Room To Leave You Two Alone So You'll KISS Already For God's Sake.

  16. Oh dear, do I lie? I was actually a senior in high school when I had my first kiss (unless you count the high school musical, which I don't). We'd been dating for 6 months (I know, fast mover) and then we dated for three years after that. The kiss itself was awful (no one should ever use that much tongue. ever. unless you're licking the bottom of a cake pan. in which case go at it.) but the memory sweet. Fun idea.

  17. GAH. Is it bad I don't remember my first kiss? I think it was on the playground.

    But I had a great one when I was also fourteen. I had had a crush on a guy for the LONGEST time. A group of our friends was taking a shortcut through a park to get to the fireworks display at the high school. Crush Boy and I were hanging back a bit. I actually slipped on some mud and pulled him down with me and we were just laying there, covered in mud, laughing. And then he kissed me.

    Yeah, it was pretty much out of a movie.

  18. I love this topic!
    I was in 6th grade, so 12 and it was at camp during some Disney movie. No tongue, just a kiss. Later that week he made out with some other girl in her cabin. Apparently I wasn't slutty enough for him.

  19. ooooo Maybe I should clarify a bit. My first kiss was most definitely "Disney" like. But as we got to know each other better, he started getting way too frisky for my taste at age 14.

  20. My first kiss was when I was 14, too. I don't know what happened to the guy. I heard sometime he was in jail. But I don't know why, or if he is, or was, or what.