Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Today I am exactly 18 weeks pregnant, and almost exactly 5 months away from my due date. That is starting to sound like I am seriously pregnant, huh? In just over two weeks we have the big ultrasound, and after that, when we (hopefully) know the baby's sex and (please please please) have seen that it is developing healthily and on schedule, it will feel really... real. Like it's really going to happen. Though it's starting to feel that way, a little bit, now. I still have twinges and flutters that I am pretty sure are baby movements, but they're so faint and fast that it's hard to know for sure.

In the meantime, we still haven't bought anything to prepare for the baby other than a few prints to hang in the nursery and now, as of yesterday, a rug. It is gorgeous, and much more affordable than most rugs, and fits perfectly with the color scheme of the room, and it was the last one in stock. So, I pulled the trigger and now we'll see a) if it was really in stock and actually shows up, and b) if it's as nice as it looks in the picture.

But still, we haven't bought anything that is definitively BABY, like, you know, a crib. And we won't start doing all that until after the 20-week ultrasound. However, we have made some definite progress. And by "definite progress," I mean we braved Babies R Us (why oh why do we not have a Buy Buy Baby in Denver yet?) and a local baby store to check out in person some of the baby items we've been researching online.

And it was productive, really. Babies R Us surprised me with the staff's helpfulness and knowledge. We had a detailed conversation about strollers with one employee, and a very helpful discussion about baby carriers with another. I know, it sounds beyond fascinating to the rest of you, but it really was so useful.

We didn't buy anything, but we came away with a clear idea of what we do and do not want. We want the slightly more expensive Baby Bjorn that comes with the extra waist strap for lumbar support. We do not want an expensive crib, lovely as they are, because the point of investing in expensive furniture is that it lasts a lifetime, and this crib will not be used for more than two kids, so we would prefer a cheaper crib that still gets top ratings for safety. We do not want to spend the extra money on a super lightweight urban stroller, because we don't have to worry about carrying it on buses or subways or stairs. We do love the stroller we've picked out, in part because it has an adjustable handle that works for the 8-inch height spread between Torsten and me (and also because it has the nice manly features of excellent steering and suspension, apparently). And so on.

When we got home we fleshed out our registry considerably. The registry, while obviously a useful thing for anyone who wants to buy us a baby gift, is really more of a shopping list for ourselves, since we have almost nothing of what we need, baby-wise, and expect to purchase most of it ourselves (though we will look into getting some of it used). Almost nothing on the registry is still rated "nice to have" (code for "still needs research")--the only exceptions being cloth diapers, bookcases, and winter outfits. Everything else is a decision--we definitely want this. Crib, changing table, swing, bouncy seat, stroller, car seat, baby carrier and sling, pack n play, monitor, even a diaper bag.

I feel very accomplished about this. And also very pregnant (even though I know I am only going to get much bigger and waddle-ier) because the exertion of visiting two baby stores in one day was enough to wear me right out. When we got home from Babies R Us I had to spend a full hour collapsed on the couch with a glass of water to recover.

And it's not just shopping. On Sunday we took the dog to the state park for a walk. We went not that far, and while it was sunny it wasn't that hot, and the walk was in no way strenuous, and yet by the end I was red-faced and panting, and again, required an hour on the couch to recover. I think it's about the time spent? Because I can do my usual half hour of cardio at the gym with no problem. OK, maybe the sun was a factor too.

Anyway! Isn't it funny how it's all a mental game? We haven't actually DONE anything, or acquired anything that we need, but the fact that we've made decisions and have a shopping list, otherwise known as a plan of action, is enough to make me feel like we are moving forward and starting to get ready for an actual baby.

The other thing that makes me feel like we're getting ready for an actual baby? Is looking at all this stuff designed for an actual baby, and realizing that soon there will BE an actual baby IN all this stuff. This especially hit home when the Babies R Us employee was showing us how to fit the Baby Bjorn appropriately for Torsten's height. He was standing there wearing an empty baby carrier while we envisioned where the baby's head would be on his body, and it was like, whoa. In just a few months he's going to be wearing a carrier just like this, but there will be an actual baby in there, with an actual baby head, close enough to Torsten's own head for him to smell.

How awesome is that?


  1. We went the cheap crib route as well...and I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised by the quality of our cribs. Buying 2 $500 cribs just wasn't in the budget for us!

    I say, put everything you think you might want to buy on your registry. It's worth it to get the 10% off at the end. We're actually going shopping this week to buy the rest of the things we need from our registry.

    Congrats on 18 weeks!!!

  2. Congrats on 18 weeks! and registering is so much fun and research too. I miss doing all the new baby research instead of discipline and potty training research, soooo not fun!

    Re: baby carrier, in case you didn't notice from facebook I'm a total babywearing enthusiast :) and I have to make sure you know there are some options out there that are much better than the bjorn - pikkolo, beco butterfly or beco gemini. Which all allow, front, back, front facing out and hip carries from newborn through toddler. Bjorn is pretty controversial carrier for babywearing because of the 'crotch dangling' design and discomfort for parents. For many people though it's a good newborn carrier and a gateway drug.

    Also, did you know that there are people who do consultations via skype? lactation consultants and babywearing help, even postpartum doulas and therapists to do post partum depression screenings. Just thought it was something cool that new moms should know about!

    Also, while I'm sharing links - check out this cool website I came across for breastfeeding in public, which can be really stressful with a newborn. http://www.breastfeedinganywhere.com/rooms.html

    And while I'm at it can I recommend that if you do want to breastfeed, you check out a La Leche League (also, your local babywearing group) meeting while you are still pregnant and get the names of the leaders in your area that you like and have their numbers on your fridge, can't tell you how the late night phone calls to them helped me in the first few weeks

  3. That's so funny that it "hit home" when you saw Torsten wearing the empty Baby Bjorn. Something similar happened with Sweets and me over the weekend. He took a stroller for a test spin. As I was waiting for him to return, I saw him round a corner. Pushing this stroller. And I was like, OMG, he's really going to be a father!

  4. It's very awesome. I still can't really believe that in less than ten weeks- and probably considerably less, more like six- there will be a real live newborn in our house. I just can't imagine it, somehow, even though I know it's a fact. I've gotten so used to KIDS. Eli seems like a full on KID, and has for so long, that the idea of tiny diapers and pacis and diaper bags and receiving blankets just blows my mind all over again.

  5. I love the new rug!

    Just wait until you start buying or receiving baby clothes! My sister-in-law just had a baby girl and we had the best time looking at clothes!

    Little socks break my heart with their cute-ness!

  6. Oh, I remember doing the pre-buying research. I had a notebook, and I was comparing Target prices to BabiesRUs prices (which, 8 years ago, were nearly identical I was surprised to find out)...

    I know it's super fun to buy new things, but as you said much can also be found 2nd hand. The bouncy seat, swing, bathtub etc tend to be POURING into 2nd hand places like Once Upon a Child, since they are used only for a couple of months. Oh, and if you have garage space, I'd would totally buy a 2nd hand baby jogger for walks around the neighborhood. We use our jogger just for walks, and use our other stroller for when we need to load it in and out of our car.

    Also, may I recommend a Moby?

    Finally, you said that having a January baby made winter seem so much less dismal this year, and I wanted to say YES, and EVERY YEAR because you'll always have a birthday to look forward to and plan for after Christmas. (Our twins birthday is Jan 23rd, and I always feel like the winter blues don't set in until after their birthday.)

  7. I love having a January baby too!! It's Christmas and then BAM! Bud's birthday!!

    Registering was by far my favorite part of the entire pregnancy. I loved that gun!!

  8. YAY for registering! I loved registering because it made me feel the same way - like we'd finally made some DECISIONS.

    I can't WAIT to "meet" this baby!

  9. Ack, reading your baby posts just makes me so happy Jess!

    Not long to go until you get that little bit more reassurance and I'm sure it'll be smooth sailing (and with time flying!) from here on in.

    I still can't believe that come January, you'll have a whole other little person there with you guys. It really is mindblowing, isn't it?

  10. Please, please, please do not buy a BabyBjorn. There are so many things wrong with that carrier, I don't even know where to start. If it has to be a carrier, maybe you'd like to consider a Manduca or Beco?

  11. Can't wait until you find out the gender! I have no kids, but I nannied and spend tons of time with my bf's little one, and I agree with others that the Baby Bjorn is awful. You'll thank yourself later by not getting one. Oh the backaches from it's terrible design! My only other experience is with an Ergo, and that was awesome. It's nice to have one that works for toddlers too.

  12. Fun to have things narrowed down! We borrowed a friend's baby bjorn - it's comfortable for both of us and Thomas is adjusting to it now that his head is more stable. I'm not a babywearer, so I can't comment on the negative opinions from a bonding and thinking it's a crime to put your baby down point of view, I just like the handsfree option when he's cranky and I need to make dinner or don't want to pull the stroller out for a walk.

  13. We went with a cheaper crib and more expensive dresser and bookcase. We want the dresser and bookcase to stand the test of time, and little boy climbing expeditions!

    I have a BabyBjorn and a Sleepy Wrap. My husband uses the Bjorn, which I guess is more manly, and I use the wrap. I love the wrap because I can tie it before I go out and run errands, but I've also used the Bjorn when I'm worried the wrap will be too hot for the babe. Mine doesn't have the extra lumbar support, which I think it really needs to be more comfortable (with it, I don't think the comfort level would be too different from a wrap or other carrier that has that support. With my 10 pound guy, it really is pretty comfy). But really, the babe hasn't shown too much of a preference for either, though the wrap always puts him to sleep. :)

    Oh, we had a little doll that we used to "test out" all of our baby equipment, which soo much fun and definitely made the "we're going to have a baby" feel more real.

  14. Wow! The baby is going to be here soon! Congrats on getting all your ducks in a row.

  15. Just don't get to attached to anything shopping wise. There were a lot of things I wanted the first time around that were unavailable by the time we were ready to purchase them. Whether it was the color, or the actual item itself.

  16. I'm going to have to agree with the popular feelings about the Bjorne. I always felt like it was hurting Meredith's legs because of the dangling leg design. I wish someone had pointed that out to us. M loved being worn though and thoroughly enjoyed it when she was old/big enough to face outward and see the world! I also found that after she was about 14 pounds it killed my back so much we didn't use it anymore.

    I wonder if you are talking about a jogging stroller with the mention of suspension! That's exactly why we got one, plus the fact that it had air in the tires and boy is it a soft ride on pavement! Love that you can go through the grass or uneven ground if you need to. One thing I'd like to suggest is the problem I had with our diaper bag fitting in/on the baby trend expedition jogger we have. I didn't really think about it before hand, but the storage basket ended up being to small or squished to put it there, and since I got a bag with two shoulder straps it wouldn't fit by hanging it on the handle either. I would have to hang it crooked off the handle and it spent all it's time hitting me in the legs that I ended up getting a messenger style bag and that works perfectly.

    I also wish someone had suggested to take note of the infant seat crotch buckle. The baby trend one you have to fit the pieces together like a puzzle before you can snap them in. It is SO tough! I wish we had gotten a seat that the two shoulder harnesses snap into the crotch buckle separately. I seriously spend minutes, way too long in the Florida heat standing fighting with the crotch puzzle buckle!! Urgh! Thankfully M moves to a convertible seat soon. We are doing it when she sits up so in restaurants she can just sit in highchair instead of hot infant seat, and same for shopping carts :)

  17. Sounds like you guys have everything planned out- but I wouldn't expect anything less from you two. :-)