Friday, November 6, 2009

Birthday follow-up

After yesterday's post, I feel the need to clarify something. This is probably going to come across as defensive, but honestly? I don't care.

Here's the thing. When Torsten and I were discussing what to do for his birthday, it was not a case of him telling me that he would like to spend the day at home and me insisting that NO WE MUST GO OUT FOR IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND LO, THIS MEANS WE SHALL LEAVE THE HOUSE.

No, he was ALSO interested in doing something special, but ALSO couldn't think of what that might be.

As well-intentioned as it might be, I do not think that it is thoughtful or caring to plan a big birthday event for someone who doesn't want one. What I DO think is thoughtful is listening to someone and really HEARING them when they tell you what they want or need.

SO. If Torsten wanted to stay home on his birthday, even if I were strongly opposed to such an idea (which I am not), we would freaking stay home on his birthday. Because it's HIS birthday.

But he doesn't want to stay home on his birthday. And some of you guys had some great suggestions about brewery tours. We had also thought of that, but he's done so many of those already (especially when his best friend was visiting) that it didn't seem like it would be that special.

But! I did have a brain wave yesterday, and thought of the perfect thing to do: visit a goat farm! For those of you who have only started reading this blog more recently, a quick background: Torsten grew up near a goat farm, always went there as a child to feed them and pet them, and still retains his love for them. Due to this, as a joke, I got him a goat-shaped groom's cake last year.

We've been to goat farms before. But he can never get enough of goats. Seriously, ever.

Of course, I wanted this to be a surprise, but apparently, either he is psychic or I somehow gave it away, because this is the conversation we had when I thought of it:

Me: I just thought of the perfect thing to do on your birthday!
Him [out of NOWHERE I SWEAR]: Is it a visit to a goat farm?!

I was just so unprepared for him to guess it that I was not quick enough on my feet to bluff. So, the surprise is ruined. However, it is still the perfect birthday activity for him. And I am not even kidding when I say that he will very likely insist on framing some of the goat photos we take at the farm and hanging them prominently in our home.

Luckily, I went into this marriage with my eyes wide open.


  1. Because goats are awesome. Hands down. My sister said she was going to get me a goat for my wedding, but my husband vetoed that one.

    And I know that you were trying to just get suggestions for what Torsten wanted. Don't let this get under your skin :)

  2. This post will have me smiling all day! I am so glad it's the last one I will read before I go to work.

    It took Gabe and I a few years before he was reading my mind like that. It makes me happy to see that you and Torsten are ahead of us! I love it when you talk about your relationship and your life with him. I hope the goats are wonderful and you have a fabulous time!

  3. bwa ha haha goats, love it! I was an animal science major in undergrad, and I spent many an amusing hour with goats and other creatures... they have the freakiest square pupils!

  4. Lol. Nothing says happy birthday like a goat :). Sounds like it will be perfect for you guys!

    And gosh, why are you so insistent on doing something on Torsten's birthday when he just wants to hang out at home? Kidding :) I knew you were looking for ideas for Torsten from the get go, no worries! B threw me a surprise party last year and I have written a "No surprise parties ever again" clause into our marriage.

  5. that's hilarious! And it also seems like a great way to get his true wishes out of him in the future:

    "I just came up with the perfect Christmas gift for you!"
    "Really? Is it a [whatever]?"
    "Um, yes! Yes it is!"

    And then you go buy the [whatever].

  6. what a GREAT birthday! just FYI, don't know what one you are going to, but there is a fantastic one near Boulder called Haystack Mountain. They make amazing cheese, have well taken care of goats, etc. it's a great place

  7. And then you should go see the movie "Men who stare at goats"!!

  8. It sounds like a wonderful bday present! Hope the weather is sunny and the goats amusing!

  9. I second Sarah, that would be a cute goat themed day. I hope I wasn't one of the people who angered you yesterday. I was just sharing that I enjoyed a lazy birthday last year.

  10. Don't worry. You didn't need to clarify!

    I have to say, this is probably the funniest thing I've heard all day (aside from my school's entire basketball team beating each other up last night, there goes the season!) I think it's adorable that he's so into goats and that you are tolerant of said goats!

    That is what marriage is all about, and you don't have to defend yourself to anyone!

    Have fun! And post pictures for us!

  11. That is the cutest idea EVER. And I hope we get a full report!

  12. 1. I love this idea.

    2. I want to see photos of goats.

    3. I love the comment about using this as a method for finding out Christmas gift ideas.

  13. I have family that own a goat farm. Those goats are super cute and kind of a pain. ;-) I hope you guys have fun!

    P.S. Go get some of those apples. :)

  14. My boyfriend loves the zoo like Torsten loves goats. (I think? Maybe not as much.) But if you know he'd enjoy it, why the heck not?

  15. That is a perfect idea! I drive by a goat farm on my way to FC all the time. I LOVE THEM.

  16. That he guessed it is SO funny! Have a great time.

  17. Nice that you two are on the same wavelength like that. I ruined the surprise with an ex when I asked him to take me to the ballet on my birthday. Apparently he'd been planning to and was actually annoyed that I'd asked. *eye roll*

  18. I didn't think that you needed to write this post, but maybe there were bad comments after I posted?

  19. I can't wait to see the goat pictures. Great idea!