Questions I'm asking myself

1. What should we do for New Year's?
Last year we had friends over along with their new baby. We made a big dinner and sat around eating and chatting for hours, then toasted with champagne at midnight. It was lovely and relaxing and one of my favorite ways I've ever celebrated New Year's. (Further evidence of my domestic nature, I suppose.)

This year, we're living in Denver and those friends are living in Illinois. We do have friends here in Denver but they aren't of the same close nature and I imagine that they have closer friends that they'd rather spend the holiday with, you know? Assuming they're not out at some party or whatever.

So, really I guess I'm answering my own question. We'll probably spend New Year's in, just us and the dog. And that will have to be OK.

2. Will this weight-loss thing ever get easier?
I know surgery isn't the easy way out, and I'm OK with that. It has made the weight loss possible and sustainable, and I'm happy about that. It's working, so I have no regrets. But I guess I thought that it some point it would get easier. Not that the weight would melt off effortlessly, but that it would stop requiring quite so much work and thought, all the time. I suspect that this is because I'm close to being at restriction but not quite there (and my fantastic fourth fill relaxed over the course of the month, making it less effective, which is normal but still frustrating) and that after my next fill, or maybe the one after that, this WILL get easier. At least, that's what I'm hoping. In the meantime, I'm trying to just be glad that it's working at all, even if it's still quite difficult.

3. What are good reasons to wait to have a baby?
I have what I consider to be a very good reason to put off pregnancy: my surgery and my health. I think getting as healthy as possible pre-pregnancy, and having taken steps (such as surgery) that show you that those goals are possible and that you're not just delaying pregnancy forever to pursue a pipe dream, is a great reason to wait, especially when there's an end date on that waiting. But from there, things get fuzzier. For example, Torsten and I were talking and he was saying how much he wants a baby too, and how he would feel ready to have one right now if it weren't for work. He has some work stuff he wants to accomplish before he'll feel totally ready. He wants to be slightly more financially stable, too.

It's a worthy goal, and an understandable one, but for me it falls into the category of "if you think like that you'll never think you're ready so we might as well just do it now." Luckily it's not a sticking point because we're waiting thanks to my surgery anyway, and he agrees that if he isn't where he wants to be career-wise when the end point arrives, he can deal with it and having a baby will be the top priority anyway. So I'm glad we're on the same page with that. But with people for whom things aren't quite so clear-cut, I wonder what things are important enough to hold you back from making the leap. Especially if it's a leap you're dying to make.

4. How long does it take to reach the "acceptance" stage?
I know that Torsten's parents struggle with the fact that he lives so far away, and I can totally understand that. I really can. I know it is difficult to have a child living on a different continent, especially when your child isn't always so good at calling regularly. But how long does it take until you become resigned/used to the situation, and make the best of it, and stop complaining about it, both overtly and passively? At some point can we expect the comments to stop? Or are we just fooling ourselves in hoping that some day our choices will be received more positively, and that they will really look at us as a unit that makes decisions together?

5. What in the hell is wrong with my computer?
It has only just started doing this thing where the touchpad seems to "click" on its own so I am suddenly not in the window I was in, or the cursor moves while I type so that half the text ends up randomly inserted in a previous paragraph. It is driving me NUTS.