Premature discussion: baby names!

I've been thinking about buying The Baby Name Wizard for over a year now, but I finally bit the bullet and did it when Swistle announced that the second edition was out. Of course, it took me three tries to actually GET the second edition (thanks, Amazon! And dumb publishers for giving the first and second editions the same ISBN!), but once I got it... ooh. This book is GREAT.

Of course, Torsten thinks I'm insane for buying a baby name book when I am nowhere near pregnant. But: BABY NAMES. It's never too early, right? Plus, I have convinced him to talk baby names before, and we even tentatively agreed on one, and then a few months later? I was SO OVER that name. See? It's good to start early so you have time to really USE the name and THINK the name and see if it's a good one, the kind that sticks.

I have a few criteria for names. I don't MIND being in the top ten, as in, if there were a name that I LOVED and it was the top name in the country, I'd use it anyway. But otherwise, I'd rather be somewhere in the top few hundred. I want a name that is recognizable and has one main spelling and pronunciation, but that isn't overly used. I want a name that's pretty and has at least one possible nickname, though I can be flexible on this. I don't struggle with middle names--we already have a meaningful one picked out for a boy and a girl--and I want the first name to flow with the middle name.

These criteria tend to lend themselves to old-fashioned names. Everybody has heard of old-fashioned names, they are less likely to have been butchered with funky Y spellings, and because they are old-fashioned they are often not as popular. Plus, old-fashioned names are usually pretty.

One such name that I ADORE is Eleanor. I think it is pretty, classic, and elegant. I love that it has multiple nickname possibilities. And I think it would fit a person of any age.

But Torsten hates it. This is a conversation that we have had many times and just keep going back and forth on. He thinks it's ugly and old-fashioned, in a bad way. I think it is woooonderful. But honestly? The Baby Name Wizard made me feel better about this, because it claims that according to their unscientific survey, Eleanor and Lillian are the two names that men and women disagree on most. Somehow, this makes me feel better, imagining the same argument playing out in households across the country. And all you women with daughters named Eleanor... you are lucky! I am jealous.

I do wonder some things about name-selection etiquette. Like, if you have a good friend with a name you like, does that name become off-limits? For example, I like the name Mallory, but I have a friend named Mallory. And I like the name Jillian but I have a friend with that name too. Would that be weird? We wouldn't be naming our child AFTER these friends, but they would still have the same name. Or is that OK?

Or what if your friend has a KID with a name you like? Is it OK to use the same name? I wouldn't name my kid the same name that my sister used for her kid, for example. But how far into the social circle does this rule extend?

Also, there are two girl names that I LOVE that just don't fit with the middle name we've picked out: Amelia and Lena. BUT I LOVE THEM. But they would sound TERRIBLE with the middle name. And the middle name is PERFECT, and also meaningful, whereas the first name is just pretty. So the middle name wins, right? But would it really be SO TERRIBLE to just saddle her with a first and middle name that don't really go together? I mean, how often do you REALLY use your middle name anyway?

And there are LOTS of other names that I like but that Torsten has vetoed (because I have managed to make him talk about this once or twice). For girls: Audrey, Beatrice, Bridget, Charlotte, Chloe, Gemma, Imogen, Nora, Sophie, and Vivian. For boys: Colin, Jackson, Kieran, Mitchell, Oliver, Roger, and Trevor.

I am especially sad about the loss of Roger as a possible name. I don't know why. I just think that name is GREAT. Am I alone in this? Torsten says that it would remind him too much of Roger Federer. I think that once you have a kid, you kind of lose any celebrity associations you once had with the kid's name, and just think of the kid when you hear the name. But he still says no Roger. And I am very sad about that.

What about you? What are your baby naming parameters? What are some names that you love and hate?