Thursday, July 9, 2009

People I have (barely) known

Something about moving 1600 miles away from your old home, and from the coast where most of your family lives, makes you think sometimes about the people that have come and gone from your life. Because when you move that far away from most of your friends, only the strong friendships survive. And really, that's fine. Honestly, I imagine that the people whose friendship has become fainter with distance--well, I think it would have become fainter with time, too, eventually.

But I've been thinking about other people, the kind of people who come in and out of your lives very briefly, the kind you never really get to know but who you remember for one reason or another. The ones you know hardly anything about--maybe you know only their first name, or only their last. You know almost nothing about their background or life circumstances. But you talked with them, chatted with them, had some sort of connection with them. You know those people?

Anyway, here are five such people from my life. People that I will likely never see again, not least because I don't even know how to get in touch with most of them, and also because I don't have the kind of relationship with them where I could call, if I did have their numbers, and be like, "So... what's up?"
  1. Larry. He worked at the front desk of our apartment building in DC. He was also a musician and a music producer. He was really nice. He always chatted with me in the morning and told me to have a safe ride to work. He had dreadlocks and a really old car, and he wore very stylish, but not over the top, clothes. He lived in the building and every now and then we would see him with his girlfriend in the grocery store.
  2. Ms. Larson. She worked at the prison training program and she was Montana's favorite. She was the one who brought Montana to meet us when we arrived at the prison for our dog interviews. When we were trying to decide between Montana and the other dog, she suggested that we take both, and we would have been tempted if it weren't for our then-apartment's pet weight limit. When we were in the go-home class and Montana was going through her commands with her inmate handler, Ms. Larson walked in the room and Montana saw her and immediately started whining to be able to go see her.
  3. Matt and Tara. They lived next door to us in our DC apartment. They were about our ages, maybe a little closer to Torsten's age than mine. They were really friendly and the year they moved in, they left a bag of Lindt truffles on our door along with a holiday card. I would see them in the apartment gym sometimes and every now and then Matt and I would be on the same bus home from work.
  4. Julie. We went to college together and graduated the same year, but barely knew each other. I had never even seen her until our senior year, when we had a class together. She always had interesting things to say and sometimes we whispered jokes to each other in class, or chatted afterward, with the vague idea that we'd get together sometime outside of class. We never did.
  5. Connie. She brought her dog to the dog park that was close to our Denver apartment, the one we stopped going to when we bought our house. Her dog was sweet and adorable and he always wanted to play with Montana, but at the time Montana wasn't really into playing. She was very nice and friendly and welcoming. She asked about Montana's scars and when I told her I didn't know their origin, she said that she would just pretend that Montana had slipped when applying eyeliner.
What about you? Have you come across people like that in your life? Do you ever think about the ones from whom you've moved on?

15 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, there are so many people like that! In my office building, there is a little convenience store on the ground level that is owned by the sweetest Vietnamese couple. My office is moving to a new building next month and I realized yesterday that the couple and their shop are staying here. It made me so sad, because they brighten my mornings!

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  2. YES! A girl named Beth, who lived in the apartment across from me one year. She and I seemed to have similar personalities, and we had each other's emergency keys for that year. Once, I think, we got together for dinner (pizza, natch). I really wanted a new friend at that time, but it just didn't pan out.

    Then there's May, an older woman I visited a couple of times in her nursing home, for a "service project." She even called me at home once -- I think it was a bit of dementia, I was only 11, why would she be calling me? -- to chat about her son. I'm sure she's gone by now, but I think of her sometimes.

    Great post.

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  3. You can always give montana a change of scenery by taking her back to the old park every now and again. She can widen her circle of doggie friends (MORE BUTTS TO SNIFF!) and you can widen your circle of doggie parents.

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  4. I love this post, this is so interesting. It reminds me of a book called 'The Five People You Meet in Heaven' by Mitch Albom. The idea is that people we hardly know can affect our lives, and we can affect theirs.

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  5. Is it weird that this post almost made me cry? Maybe it's because I'm in a very emotional place, getting ready move across the country and all. I've been thinking about the people I've met in New York but will likely never see again. It's kind of sad, but also really amazing how we can make these little connections with other people. I love it.

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  6. my bus driver, george, from when i was a little kid. he was so super nice to me and the 3 other kids from our school, and would come walk around the farm with us before school started because he was trying to lose weight. he signed my 7th grade yearbook with a little picture of a smiling bus.

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  7. As a dog owner, you quickly realize how many people and canines make for a great experience. Due to our dog, we made good friends at our last residence. And countless others we adored spending time with in passing. And when we left, we left many of those friendships behind.

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  8. I have numerous people in my life like this that I think about every now and again. Good post.

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  9. Lots of people from my last job. I saw those people every day for 3+ years, then we all slowly started getting laid off and now I'll probably never see them again. It's so strange. I also had a roommate in college with whom I've completely lost touch and I would have no idea how to find her now!

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  10. I love this post. I moved and changed schools after 6th grade, and I always think about my frmer classmates.

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  11. I may never move to a new city but I really do have tons of people like this. People that I hang out and have fun briefly, meet up accidentally. I don't know, it makes me realized the people who are gonna stay with you for a long time should really be appreciated even more.

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  12. Oh, god I have what seems like tons of tons of those people! And isn't it interesting that they don't know, we could be those people for others.. I try to make sure to let them know they meant something if I know I won't see them again, and let others know to. My stepfather recently quit his job, and I told him the morning of to make sure to smile at and thank everyone that he *did* like in the office (a very small percentage thereof), and tell them he'd miss them. It really does mean something to know you meant something, haha.

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  13. Wow I can think of tons of people like this in my life. Wow you really got me thinking on this one. I wonder about some of these people still.

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  14. like bayjb you got me thinking on this one - this is great.

    there are so many people that have come into my life and made an impact on me but were never to be heard from again.

    it's weird.

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  15. Quite a few, but the one I think about most is a girl I lived with briefly. For our first term at uni we were put in a house together and got on brilliantly, but she didn't like her course and left to go to another university. I always wished I'd tried harder to stay in touch.

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