Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Not such a good day

Urgh. Yesterday was not great. Nothing happened, but I think I've entered what's called "bandster hell." It's when you're post-op, you're in pain, you don't have restriction in your band yet so you still feel hungry, but you're on a very restricted puree diet.

The day started off well and I was feeling good, but then I started developing the dreaded post-op gas pains. Basically, when they do the operation they fill your abdomen with air, and afterward they're only able to get out about 95% of it. The other 5% has to reabsorb on its own and the only thing you can do to speed that up is drink lots of water and walk as much as possible. I have been trying to do those things, and I think I've been doing OK, but oh--my chest feels tight and my breath is shallow.

I had to call the surgeon's office anyway to make a follow-up appointment and while I was on the phone I asked about it, and they said it's just gas pains, probably an air bubble that has lodged itself under my breastbone. Isn't that lovely? It feels pretty much horrible. It makes me want to lie down and not do anything for ages, but instead they tell you to walk, walk, walk.

My incision pain is getting better, but it isn't gone by any means, and all the walking creates some sharp pains. Plus, you need to drink constantly, but only little tiny sips, which isn't exactly satisfying, you know? I really just wanted to GULP. And of course you can't drink at all during meals, and a lot of puree is pretty tasteless and could really do with a kick of something, ANYTHING, to drink along with it.

Also, part of my left leg is numb, which the surgeon's office also said was normal, so, you know, I'm not worried that I'm dying or anything but it still feels weird and bad.

And also, and I think this is the worst thing, I am so hungry, or rather my stomach is. It is growling and sending out painful hunger pangs. And yet, I cannot STAND the idea of food. Everything on my list of approved foods makes me want to gag just thinking about it. But I NEED to eat, and meet my protein quota, so... well, lots of protein shakes. Seriously, just thinking about it makes me want to vom. Right now I cannot even think about the fact that I have a week and a half of this left. It is just overwhelming. It is worse, somehow, than the straight liquid diet. I finally forced myself to eat a tiny cup of yogurt, and I could only get halfway through it.

But I DO want normal food. I would kill for some rotisserie chicken, for example, or salmon sashimi. OMG anything SOLID that I can chew, anything that doesn't taste like it was made by Gerber and sold in a tiny jar.

So, yeah. I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm achey and sore, and mostly I'm just grumpy. I just want to be at the next part already. I know, nothing ever comes easy and I knew this would happen going into the surgery. But oh, I wish it would just go by faster. Or at least that I could EAT without wanting to puke.

OK, so, that's my litany of complaints. I still don't regret the surgery because I know that this part is only temporary and it WILL get better. But oh, god, I wish I could go to sleep and wake up in like three weeks. I hate this part.

25 comments:

  1. Well, I experience occasional numbness that's MS related, so I can certainly relate to that. It is such a strange feeling. When it first started, it was like the leg was asleep. I just wanted to shake the feeling off.

    The food part has to be hard. Can you have ice cream? Obviously not much nutritional value, but if it's OK, a few spoonfuls would be a nice treat for what you're going through.

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  2. Sorry you're having a hard time right now. I hope it passes quickly.

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  3. I had insane complications after gastic bypass and the second time i went in, when i woke up a from the second proceedure all i wanted to do was FART. i know its disgusting but man i totally know where you are coming from and i can tell you it will go away!i was so happy to fart i told my dad on the phone to which he was just like, 'how much morphine are you on still???'

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  4. urgh! That doesn't sound very pleasant! I hope that this part passes quickly and you can get some solid food in you again soon.

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  5. It sounds not fun. I hate that overwhelming feeling when you think of how long you still have to do something...does it help to think of it in small increments and try to forget about the whole week and a half? You'll get there!
    I had those gas pains after a laparoscopy and they sucked hard. It was incredibly painful - much worse than the surgery itself.
    Hang in there!

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  6. Aaaahhhh!!!! I just want to scream for you because I know things are sucking. I'm sorry. Hope it gets better soon.

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  7. Oh god, the gas. I had a lap surgery way back when and it was definitely the gas pains that were the worst. All I can say is, heating pad, heating pad, heating pad. If you can sit upright, do that, put a heating pad where there's pain. The gas will eventually migrate to your shoulders and that's the worst.

    I wish you a speedy gas diffusion. Or something like that.

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  8. It'll be over and you'll wonder years downt he road what that first week was like. Trust me. I know it's hard to imagine that right now but it does happen. you are on your way. Hang in there.

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  9. My mom had horrible gas pains also. But her's was almost right after her surgery. I remember pacing the halls with her for hours and hours because she was in pain. It did get better! That's the good part! Keep thinking positive. :)

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  10. Hang in there, Jess. We're all thinking of you and praying for you.

    xoxo

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  11. Oh, I hope this phase passes quickly! Hang in there.

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  12. Ah honey, I'm so sorry!! Hang in there darling!

    xox

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  13. I think uncomfortable can sometimes be worse than pain. So sorry.

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  14. boy, that sounds.... not so fun. here's hoping that all gas bubbles mysteriously dissipate and you suddenly develop a taste for protein powder :-)

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  15. That sounds so uncomfortable! Hang in there. I hope it gets better soon!

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  16. Oh Jess you poor thing. I know exactly how you feel--it was almost exactly a year ago that I was on a liquid diet for a month. It seems endless--like you're never going to be able to eat again. What I did was try to have other things to look forward to. As soon as I could get out of the house I got a pedicure one day, went to Target the next, saw a movie in the theater the day after, something like that. Plan nice things for yourself or the monotony will seem overwhelming. Also, get some sun. Not enough for a sunburn, but the sun on your face and the Vitamin D help you feel better after surgery. I remember standing outside with my face turned up to the sun, like I was a plant or something. As far as food goes, experiment with shakes so that they taste different. I remember going to Whole Foods or Central Market and stocking up on Pomegranate Juice, that Smart Smoothie stuff, etc. The soups they have pre-made are pretty good and can be blended further if you need them to be more liquid. They have healthful options--black bean (protein!), low-sodium chicken noodle, etc. that are pretty tasty. It will get better, I promise!

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  17. I'm sorry you're so uncomfortable right now, but keep your positive outlook. It'll be better soon.

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  18. Oh my god, that sounds very irritating to experience, I'm sorry. I hope this passes quick, I think you should do something fun from the comfort of your own bed that really help to kill time. Like, watching dvds or playing with the internet.

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  19. I'm sorry it sucks - I can't imagine how difficult this must be. Knowing it will be worth it doesn't necessarily make it easier, I know.

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  20. This sounds horrible. I don't think I can really imagine what you are going through. Hope the next few weeks go quickly for you and that you start feeling better soon!

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  21. You are so strong for staying committed to this program! I wonder how many patients hit the point you're hitting and nibble on something solid. Because they just can't take it any more. Anyway, I'm going to remind myself of your struggles any time I think I've got it bad on the JC program. That'll stop the self-pity party. Fast!

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  22. Sorry you're having such a hard time right now. Sounds like your feelings - both physical and emotional are perfectly normal under these circumstances, though. Hope things get better real soon for you! :)

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  23. This sounds SOOOO sucky, and I am SOOOO enjoying hearing all the ups and downs.

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  24. Oh no I am soo sorry that you are in pain! I hope that you get better soon!

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