Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Swamped

I realize that I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but OMG work is KILLING me. I am seriously floundering. And it's not even just that I'm about to leave for two weeks and have tons of stuff to finish before I'm done--although that's part of it. It's mostly that we have this huge deliverable due TODAY and I am still not totally sure how that's going to happen. Seriously, it's all very unclear. I don't have time to eat lunch, or talk to people, or even breathe, really.

All I can say is, thank GOD that all the wedding planning is done, because if I had to deal with this work crap while trying to nail down a million final wedding details? I don't think I would live to see the wedding.

I keep telling myself that no matter what, at the end of today the worst will be over and things can normalize for, like, two days before the wedding stuff really kicks off, but oh my god I seriously cannot see past the end of today. It's just too much. I am usually very good about having perspective, but right now? Really stuck on the present, really unable to fathom what it will be like once it's all done and the deliverable has been, well, delivered.

Yesterday when I got home, my French mother had cooked dinner, which was amazing--and it was fabulous not to have to worry about pulling dinner together after such a horrible day--but somehow it was also exhausting, because we had guests. And for us, the apartment is clean, but I guess not to her, because she had organized all the cabinets and even arranged the shoes that we had left lying in the hall all in a neat row under the table. She can't help it, and it's so nice, but apparently I'm one of those people who needs to be alone to recharge--and alone includes when Torsten is there--because even though she took a huge load off, and I really appreciate it, I didn't really start to relax until after they left and it was just the two of us. Although really not even then, because I did more work.

Argh. I can't even think straight. Seriously, I am incapable of coherently organizing my thoughts. And that NEVER happens to me.

By tonight it will all be over. I think it's time to start chanting the old mantra from my college finals days: Better done than good. Better done than good.

22 comments:

  1. I'm sending some "You can do-it!!" vibes your way. Try to remember to breathe!!!! Good luck today =)

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  2. Aww! Good luck! Hang in there! Only a few more hours! :o)

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  3. I had that same mantra in college! And I, too, am invoking it today! Wishing you calming thoughts and a speedy end to the day.

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  4. Oh God, I totally know what you mean about not being able to see past a crazy work day. I try to power through days like that by just thinking, "I'm doing the best I can. This day will eventually be over. This project is not that important that people's lives are hanging in the balance."

    Also, I need to be alone to recharge after days like that, too. Although that was sweet of your French mom to cook dinner.

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  5. I had that mantra during the last semester of stupid grad school, as it was slowly killing my soul.

    Good luck, girl, and Saturday will be here before you know it!

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  6. You're almost there and THEN: married honeymoon vacation awesome time!

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  7. Good luck! All the work will be done before you know it!

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  8. I think "better done than good" will be my new life motto. Hilarious!

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  9. Sorry you are so stressed. Take a deep breath and just think, it's almost done! Then you can relax and focus on getting married!

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  10. It's nice that you know the worst will be over by the end of the day. Lisa has the same "better done than good" philosophy and she's only seven. Most of the people I know take the last week before their wedding off work, but you're so well-organized that you didn't have to.

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  11. That mantra pretty much sums up the late nights at college, doesn't it?

    You're almost there!

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  12. You can do it! I believe in you!

    Oh, and, so you have something else to think about...I was wondering about your wedding magazines. I wonder how much it would cost to ship them to me? That box would weigh a ton, right? Because...I want to plan, like, now. And I'd totally pay you for it if they were shippable. And if you like, wanted to. And if you haven't already given them to someone else. :D

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  13. The wedding and honeymoon will be an amazing break for you, you'll come back with your head re-centered on your shoulders and will be in such good shape to pick up again where you left off - refreshed and MARRIED!

    = )

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  14. only a few hours to go! then all you have to do is.. you know.. GET MARRIED! WOOHOOOOO!!

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  15. The day is more than half over now... whew!

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  16. Jess! I'm finally back from our honeymoon and wedding and well ... I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU, I CAN'T STAND IT! Seriously. You are going to shine and have the time of your life and then go spend a week (or however long) with the love of your life. And words cannot express the overflowing love you will feel.

    My only advice to you is the following:

    1) Try to stay close to Torsten the day of your wedding. That way, when you look back at your day, you will have shared memories. You won't be able to stick by his side 100% of the time, but if you keep it in the back of your mind, it will help you stay close throughout the night!

    2) Take pictures of fashions in the windows. That way, when you're celebrating your 20th anniversary, you can pull out the pictures and show how ridiculous we all looked!

    3) Take pictures the morning of your wedding. I took a bunch on my morning walk with the dog and I already cherish "my take" on the wedding day.

    Yay yay yay. I cannot wait for the two of you to join us in wedded bliss!

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  17. I miss you. THREE DAYS OMG. Kthxbai.

    xoxox

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  18. *Obediently adopting your mantra*

    Hope tomorrow feels better!

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  19. I know this feeling all to well... everyone tells you it will be over soon, but you can't even see a day in the future because you are that bombarding. Wishing you much strength, lady!!

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  20. Hang in there - it's all going to work out and your stres will turn into pure excitement!

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