Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Antarctica

Torsten and I have our best conversations while in the car or on vacation (or both). By "best" I mean most productive, the kind that have the real ideas flowing. We always talk, communicate a lot, about daily life and what's going on in the news and how we're feeling, but it's when we're on the open road or lying on the beach that the real problem solving emerges, the goal-setting and the focus-driven discussions.

I think it's because we're relaxed, we're not distracted with quotidian minutiae, and the simple rhythm of a change of pace or the road rushing by helps us focus on the big picture, figure out what we want and how we're going to get it. But we always end up having the big discussions about careers and baby timelines and future goals when we're away, or on the road.

One of the beautiful things about being young and married is the gorgeousness of having our whole lives ahead of us. I know that there is always the possibility that we won't really, that something terrible and tragic could happen, that it seems complacent to feel this way, but it is a beautiful, amazing feeling to see so many years together stretching before you, an as-yet-unbroken surface. I love imagining the closeness, the shared history that we'll have after 20 or 40 years together.

I also love the list we made on our honeymoon, the list of all the places we'd like to travel during our lives. We put everywhere on there, every country or state that either of us had ever thought we might like to visit. At the end it seemed absurdly long, but then we thought, say we go on vacation an average of once per year for the rest of our marriage... well, by the end we'll have hit quite a few of these places.

We MIGHT have gone overboard a tad and privately assigned ranks to our top ten places and then compared and used a complicated formula to rank the order in which we as a couple would like to visit those places. And let's just say that if we did that, we would have found that a cruise to Antarctica was the joint number one, followed closely by a visit to southern Africa. Unfortunately, the ranking list can't make vacation decisions in a vacuum--the budget is a pretty important factor, so our next vacation will likely not be anywhere as exotic as either of those. But someday, during the many sun-dappled years we envision in front of us, we will go to those places. Both of them, and many more.

And just imagine how much great thinking we'll get done while we're there. For that matter, I'm pretty sure we should buy a car right now, so that we can become great scientists or perhaps presidents through the excellent thinking we'll do while driving. If THAT isn't a good reason to purchase a vehicle, I don't know what is.

31 comments:

  1. The two of you are amazing and cute! I always look forward to reading your posts in the morning. =)

    My boyfriend and I love to travel and take a big trip every year. We are going to Puerto Rico next month! I am hoping that when we start making more money and have more vacation days we will take two trips per year. I love the idea of making a joint list.

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  2. The husband and I always have good and silly conversations on the road, too. We actually named a little girl -- if we ever have one -- on a road trip we took less than a year into our relationship.

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  3. Antarctica? You guys are definitely my kind of people! =)

    My grandpa just got back from a cruise that went there and he said it was amazing, I hope you get to go soon!

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  4. Its funny - mark and I have our best conversations while hiking. I love how calm and undistracted we are outdoors so it always makes for a special time. He actually just commented the other day on our way down the mountain that he feels we grow so much closer everytime were hiking together. (Pls excuse the lack of punctuation etc - commenting from the B'berry - woooo!)

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  5. We have our best conversations in the car too. No distractions (well, other than driving) and it's a nice time to have those long serious talks that always get pushed aside or saved for another time.

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  6. I would love to go on a cruise. I've told Mr. C that since we started dating.

    My car has been acting up lately so I've been driving Mr. C's truck... and if he doesn't fix it soon I'm gonna start pushing for a new car. THAT always gets him movin! :)

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  7. Quite right about the conversations in the car. It's a good time to hash out...well, anything.

    Ah, the honeymoon period...you two are so sugary it's hurting my teeth! We never really had one of those, "Oh, god, it's so good to be married, mwa, mwa" periods, so...I can't sympathize with that at least.

    Just remember that despite your Big and Awesome plans and so forth, life almost never turns out like you expect. (It's my mantra that it always turns out worse than you expect, but that's a personal philosophy.) Don't let me the little storm cloud discourage you from your dreams, but remember to keep a big toe on the ground of reality just in case. :)

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  8. The more I read of your blog, the more I fall in love with both of you and your story. My husband and I are the same way - when we were newly married we did a LOT of driving, all over the state of Michigan, and I treasured those times in the car. Planning the future, daydreaming, talking about what we wanted from life... these are delicious times.

    I loved your line about the future, unbroken - just perfect.

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  9. we have a list of places we want to visit too. a cruise to antarctica sounds so neat! one of the things we really want to do is take an alaskan cruise.

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  10. I love the joint list idea, too. I, too, would love to SEE antartica, but am such a wussy nervouspants that the idea of the south sea crossing, with its attendant puking, makes me nervous.

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  11. Such a sweet post! We always have good conversations in the car too. (unless one of the children is screaming or hurling, which happens more than I'd like.)
    We've made lots of important decisions in the car and our 2 youngest kids were named after long road trips.
    For us, I think it's because we're sitting there with nothing to do and my husband (who is normally very quiet) talks much more than normal.

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  12. I don't want to go to Antarctica OR Africa. I would be happy with Europe. That is my dream. Just one trip to Europe. But of course it wouldn't be on your list as you have both lived there for varying amounts of time.

    I bet you are going to do it all. The idea of having so much time to do it in really is exciting.

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  13. I love that you took those lists one step further (and one step nerdier) to calculate how each location should be ranked.

    Bear in mind that NOT owning a car means more money in your bank account, which means you'll be able to budget for Antarctica sooner!

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  14. haha! i have an EXTENSIVE list of Places I Need To Visit, Stat... but i must say antartica is not at the top of mine. i love that it's at the top of BOTH of yours. hee. and i'm with stefanie - no car = more money saved for antarctica!

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  15. We are car talkers too, but we also have really good (productive?) conversations right before bed. I find that theoretical trip planning is so much fun and it spawns other intersting conversations.

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  16. The Antarctica cruise is on our list too. You have to book them like 2 years in advance though!

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  17. I wholeheartedly agree on the excellence of car conversations. There's nothing else to do but talk, and the end result is always awesome.

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  18. That is so true! My husband and I always talk more on long car rides.

    And from personal experience, I have to say that South Africa is one of the most amazing places I've ever been in my life. I want to go back and renew my wedding vows on Table Mountain. Also, Tanzania is a beautiful country.

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  19. That you numbered the lists and then used a complicated formula to rank the destinations cracks me up! Sometimes it seems the only time Sid and I have time to talk at any length is on the road with sleeping kids in the backseat.

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  20. Greenland probably has much of the same ecosystem and it's more tourist-oriented and possibly cheaper to get to. Just saying.

    We have some of our most inspired talks in the car as well. I love car talk, and not the NPR kind.

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  21. I'm the one with the list and Magoo just says yes. It kinda works out not having to negotiate. Though I can see it being nice to have other opinions added into the mix.

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  22. I totally want to go to Antarctica....and Iceland. And the Caribbean. I have no rhyme or reason for my destination choices - except the firm belief that it will be AWESOME!

    xox

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  23. I love how moving vehicles usually put babies to sleep. But, that's where two adults get their greatest thinking done? My how far you've come!

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  24. I love those great conversations you have when life slows down for a moment.

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  25. Getting in the car for a long drive totally makes us discuss deep topics too.

    Oh, and Antarctica and South Africa? I'm totally there with you- when we get some money that is!

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  26. I love this post. So adorable. Also, very cool that your most desired place is Antarctica.

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  27. LOL we love making lists of destinations too... My xmas prezzie for my hubby this year was 501 must see islands- you know, for inspiration :p
    You guys are just too cute!

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  28. I love that idea of dreaming together. That is exactly what being a newlywed should be :)

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  29. This is great! I love newlywed love...and I hope this excitement stays with you both for MANY years!

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  30. I lovvvvve car trips with Paul. We've only had a couple, and one of the things I look forward to about the kids getting older is that maybe we can take a bunch more car trips.

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  31. I have a long-standing goal to set foot on all seven continents before I die. I've got four covered, it's just Asia, Australia, and Antarctica left now... and figuring out how to *get* to Antarctica has always been the challenge.

    I keep thinking that volunteering on a research vessel is my best bet.

    Or, you know, becoming a millionaire. But the former seems far more likely.

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