Thursday, September 11, 2008

More wedding chatter

Bizarrely, even though our wedding is only two months away, it doesn't feel like crunch time. Maybe this will come back to bite us in the ass, or maybe it's because we got a lot of stuff done ahead of time. Many little things still need to be taken care of, but things are progressing, neatly and on time. If we woke up tomorrow and it was our wedding day, we'd be fine even though some of the details wouldn't be in place. We would likely be the only ones not to notice. And that's a pretty nice way to feel.

Our RSVP deadline is in two weeks and we still have over 50% outstanding. Every day there are multiple purple envelopes waiting in the mail. Except Tuesday, when not only did we not get any RSVPs, but we actually got no mail at all. I was in such a state of disbelief about it that I trekked back to the mailboxes at nine p.m. to see if maybe the mail had just been delivered late. It hadn't.

My next dress fitting is next week, and I am so excited to try it on and have it fit properly. It fit pretty nicely the way it was, but it was too big in the chest. I'm thrilled to see how it will look when it's really set for me.

We decided at the last minute that we wanted a string quartet for the ceremony music if we could find something affordable. We followed the advice for savings on that and contacted all the local music schools. We had very little response but we did find one quartet that we were able to negotiate down to within our budget range. Everything seemed set until I asked if we could hear them play before we signed the contract. This didn't strike me as unreasonable--after all, for all we knew, they weren't really a quartet and didn't even own instruments. But the woman wrote back an offended email saying that it would be too much of a hardship to do a rehearsal, and explained why, then told me to tell her whether or not I wanted to proceed.

I wrote her back and said I totally understood her reasons for not wanting to do a rehearsal (which were legitimate) and asked if, instead, we could hear a recording of the quartet playing, or see a list of past performances, or get a couple of reviews, because we had absolutely nothing to go on to be sure that they weren't going to be terrible or not show up at all. I didn't phrase it like that--I was very polite, and stated clearly that we were very interested in working with them. She didn't write back. I sent two follow-up emails. She still hasn't written back. It's been a month. I've given up. And so we are back at square one.

The wedding is close enough now that when we've been making schedules at work for products I write or edit, they've pushed into November and I've had to remind people that I'll be out. I got engaged right before I started this job, so all my coworkers are thrilled for me and get really excited whenever I mention the wedding.

My engagement ring has gotten so big for me that it actually fell off the other day and really scared me. I looked into DC jewelers and I'm going to try to find time to get it resized this week. Then it will exactly match my wedding band, too, because I purchased that in a smaller size.

The wedding is soon. Maybe it's the weather--it feels like our wedding season has really arrived. I'm feeling nothing but excited about that right now.

33 comments:

  1. All I could think about while reading this was how far away your mailbox really IS from your actual apartment. I think I would die if I had to take that walk more than once a day.

    :)

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  2. YAY WEDDING SEASON, this is so crazy! I'm so excited to hear about everyone else's big day now! It'll all come together - believ me!

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  3. Girl, me too. The wedding is in the air :) And too bad we live so far away from each other. I could have had you a good string quartet lined up no prob.

    Hope the rest of the planning is going well! Because, I am just getting my invites out, and I have no problem with that :)

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  4. You make me feel excited for your wedding and I'm not even going! I can't wait to see pictures. :)

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  5. I can sing at your wedding--for free.

    Can I bring a karaoke machine?

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  6. Well, I'm glad one of the two of us is excited. Because my head is so deep in the details right now that I feel too far removed to be excited. Or thrilled. Each task is a must-do. Not a "something to bring me closer to the wedding day." My bridesmaids are shocked I just don't care about fittings. Still. But, you're right on track and doing great! Yay!

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  7. I smiled reading this post. Even though that's so frustrating about the quartet, I can tell you are so happy and excited about your wedding and I can't help but be happy for you.

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  8. I think your request to hear the quartet or at least get a reference from someone they've played for before is completely valid. I hope you can find a quartet, though! I played a few weddings in high school as a trio and think it's a lovely idea.

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  9. Good luck on the RSVP front; the fact is, nobody responds these days. If you get 60% back, count yourself lucky.

    For our wedding, we skipped RSVPs after talking to a bunch of people. People either forget to send them back, then think they can't come because they didn't RSVP; or they come anyway and screw up a hard count; or they send them back, then change their mind at the last minute and don't show up. It's just a mindscrew.

    Reasonably speaking, you know a pretty accurate count of people who are GOING to be there (close friends and family), a reasonable count of those that WILL NOT be there (really distant relatives that you invited, but won't show up), and then you bet around 50% of the others showing, and that's your number.

    Good luck on any front!

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  10. We only invited people very close to us, and still almost half of the people sent in their RSVP cards the day of the deadline. Ugh!

    That quartet sounds strange. Take it as a sign you aren't meant to have one and move on. If you find one, great. If you don't, that's okay too. You have to take that attitude about weddings or you go nuts.

    As for your ring, try and find a place that does it while you wait. Maybe I'm just untrusting (and I had my heirloom costs-more-money-than-I-could-ever-afford ring), but I wasn't willing to wait a week while they mailed it to who knows where and did who knows what to it. My sis had a nice diamond stolen and replaced with a crappier one by a jeweler. It was horrible for her, since it was her mom's e ring (she passed away when my sister was 7).

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  11. Despite having a full year to prepare for Spawn's wedding, I was still in a tizzy up to the big day. Spawn, on the other hand, was fine. No tizzies, no worries. I guess I was doing enough for both of us.

    Enjoy your time, it sounds like you've got it all nicely under control.

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  12. It sounds like it was a blessing in disguise that the string quartet didn't work out.

    Try colleges, universities and high schools ... not just music schools. Lots of time the kids will play for cheap (or free!) just to get the experience. (We got one from the Big University 45 minutes down the road to come ... $350 for 2 hours of music. Our ceremony was outside and our only regret is that we didn't mic the instruments. WE could hear just fine, but people in the back couldn't hear the music at all. ALSO! We had them play "seasons of love" while we exchanged rings ... it was SO romantic)

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  13. Whoa, that sounds like a full plate to me. 2 months seemed like the 'dead zone' to me with wedding planning; too far out for last minute details, and all the big stuff was taken care of.

    Your engagement ring too big? Does that mean...you're keeping up with your plan to stay healthy? I hope so. You're an inspiration.

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  14. Awesome. Just ride that zen wave all the way to the alter!

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  15. I am always shocked too when there is no mail. Not even junk mail?! WHA?
    Anyway, sounds like things are on track. How exciting!

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  16. It's great to hear a bride not freaking out. :-)

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  17. Wheeee! So exciting! And way to insist on qualifications from the quartet. They might've sucked...

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  18. It is so fun to witness all of your wedding excitement and plans! I hope you keep on enjoying every moment of it.

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  19. I love when milk starts having an expiration date of AFTER the wedding.

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  20. Email me. My email is jessielin79@hotmail.com. I live in the DC area and do weddings all the time with a quartet. I don't know if I could get the rest of the quartet to play with me but I could give you a sample of how I play, and I know that everyone else was a performance major. Part of the problem of getting everyone together for a rehearsal is that most quartets don't all live in the same area. I can guarantee you that everyone is amazing. Anyway, blah. Email me.

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  21. How could someone actually be offended that you wanted to hear them play before the wedding?!

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  22. Yay! I am glad you feel happy and relaxed about the wedding. It sounds like all of your planning has paid off!

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  23. I'm just so excited for you, Jess! So much going on.....what about having just one pianist or a cello player instead of a quartet? A student in their final year of a performance music program might jump at the chance to earn money AND extra performance credit for school....heck, you might even be able to score a vocal soloist if that sort of thing interests you.

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  24. What an exciting time for you. I am honestly giddy to hear all about it!

    And I don't think it's unreasonable to ask to hear the quartet you are planning on paying. Sheesh.

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  25. Yay for you getting into crunch time - and even better that it's a relaxed one! Enjoy it miss!

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  26. That is so awesome when you get to point where if you don't get something done it doesn't matter.

    And, eeeeeeek on the engagement ring. Mine was a little big too, and once I was fidgeting with it and it fell off behind the couch near a vent. Scary. I learned my lesson though.

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  27. Selfish comment of the day:

    I'm going to be sad once your wedding is over because it will mean no more wedding planning posts, which I really, really enjoy.

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  28. Yay! It's so close and you are SO CALM. It's refreshing. I hope the second fitting for your dress goes well.

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  29. hooray! so much FUN STUFF!

    if you're still interested in the quartet, i'd suggest posting in the musician section of CL. those folks are usually legit musicians dying for a gig..

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  30. Oh my gosh that is sooo exciting! That is a great feeling to know that stuff is done enough that you can actually have the wedding. Also, see - me jealous!

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  31. random question. what hair products to you use? i have a friend with white girl curly hair that is a mess and she's asking me for help. i think my black girl curly hair products will be too heavy for her. i think your hair is super cute. what do you use so i can tell her to try it?

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  32. That's awesome that you both are in a good place for the wedding. It's definitely the exciting time :)

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