Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Not quite like Savage Garden

Stephanie's post yesterday talked about how she cried in a restaurant this weekend, and it reminded me of the time that I also cried in a restaurant, earlier this year. This is the most recent event that I've written about for the Tuesday Retrospective, but things are so different now that it certainly feels like a memory more than a current event, and that's the main criterion for this feature, so I'm going to write about it anyway.

Unlike that Savage Garden song, I didn't know that I loved Torsten before I met him, although we did meet online so there was a period of about a week and a half when we were emailing back and forth without having actually met each other. And during that period, both of us knew (or suspected) that we had found something exceptional, but were afraid to admit it since it seemed so crazy, which is why we met up in person as soon as possible.

Torsten knew that he loved me very soon in our relationship, but I was slower to be sure. I'm not sure if he had a moment when he knew that he loved me, but I did--one exact event that crystallized in my head the fact that I was in love with this man. It was the Sunday of the Oscars, which I think were in late February this year, which would mean that Torsten and I had been dating for about four and a half months. We had slept late and then gone for brunch at Bread & Chocolate, which used to be one of our favourite places until we decided to try to be healthy. I don't remember what we were eating but I do remember that we were in a booth toward the back of the restaurant. It was snowing, also.

My sister had planned an Oscars party for that night and I had told her that both Torsten and I would be there, but when we were eating brunch, Torsten was saying that he didn't really feel like going, with the bad weather and the fact that we'd be out so late and the work he had to do that day. I was really upset by this and said something to him about how much it bothered me that he never wanted to do things with my friends or go out and be social (okay, "never" might be an exaggeration, but I'm not known to play fair when I'm upset, and a little drama never hurt anyone, right? Not right? Oh).

Anyway, I was getting more and more upset and Torsten was getting confused, and trying to explain himself. And then he said to me something about how he wasn't sure when I invited him to go places with my friends if I really wanted him to come or was just inviting him out of some sense of obligation. This was such a strange concept to me that I stared at him and said something like, "Why would I ever want to be without you?" And then I burst into tears.

See, I told you I was dramatic. But damn it, it was right then, exactly then when I was sitting in the middle of Bread & Chocolate, crying in the face of my shocked boyfriend, that I knew I was in love with him. Although it was another couple of months before we actually said those words to each other.

It's amazing, now, to think that there was ever a time when I didn't know I loved him, or when he would be worried that I didn't really want him to come with me when I invited him somewhere. Because really, who wouldn't want this sweetheart to come with them everywhere they went?

22 comments:

  1. Yay sweet post! Andy first told me he loved me at 3:00 in the morning when he was drunk and crying and we were having the only fight we've ever had. But it was still sort of endearing, because I had been wanting to say it to him for MONTHS, and was relieved when he finally said it to me. :)

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  2. Your post made me smile!

    And isn't it strange, that moment when you just KNOW that you love someone, and it becomes so clear to you. Mark and I were standing on a street corner in New York on my first ever trip to the city, almost 4 years ago, and I looked at him and just felt it. I loved him. We didn't say it to each other until a few months later, but I knew that it was right since that moment.

    And when I cried on Saturday night in the restaurant? It was because I couldn't stand the thought of being without Mark.

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  3. That is such a wonderful picture! I said it first to Brett, and he didn't hear me at first, so I had to repeat it and I got all nervous.

    Anyway, love the post!

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  4. awe. so sweet. you guys are too adorable for words.

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  5. Oh, I SO get Torsten's comment. I'm like that, I can never QUITE believe that someone REALLY likes or loves me. What the hell is that all about? Anyway, your response was perfect!

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  6. I agree, that is a GREAT picture. And a great story.

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  7. Aww! That is adorable. :)

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  8. Awww. I love that picture and the story is just too lovely.

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  9. What a lovely post. Thanks for sharing and for making me hopeful - being newly single means I have a moment like this to look forward to. ;)

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  10. awww...for like the one millionth time..and WELCOME home!!!
    xoxo

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  11. Aaaawwww, that is such a sweet story and a cute photo to boot!

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  12. oohh, I love this one. I think that is a perfect sentiment, "Why would I ever want to be without you." Lovely.

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  13. It's wonderful to rememeber when you first knew you loved your man - and your story is so sweet - I must say that I can completely empathize with the drama mama thing - it just comes with the territory! I love love love your pic! ADORABLE!

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  14. I have to say, that restaurant looks amazing! And this is so sweet.

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  15. aww, yay :-) karl told me after spending a weekend in new orleans at a bachelor party. heh.

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  16. That is really a good story. The part where you burst into tears made ME tear up a little!

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  17. Adorableness! Le sigh. Love. T and I said it very early. But we had known and liked each other for almost a year before we started dating.

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  18. What a sweet story! It's those little things that make you realize the big things.

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