Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Hot lunch for a hungry man

Hey, do you all remember when I posted about that man in the grocery store that my mom wanted me to slip money to when I was in high school? And how I got too shy to do it and have wished that I had done it for years since?

Well, your comments on that post reminded me that just because I didn't help that man didn't mean that I couldn't help other people. So, today I went to buy a sandwich at the deli/hot bar next door to my office, and I saw this homeless man in a wheelchair sitting outside with a cup of change. I've seen him there a lot, and while I always try not to just ignore homeless people, I've always told him what I tell anyone who asks me for money, which is that I'm sorry but I don't have any cash (which is usually the case).

It's cold today, though, and it was raining this morning, and he was just kind of sitting there hunched over in his chair, and he didn't have very much money in his cup, and I saw him and he didn't even ask me for money this time. And I didn't want to give him money, because, well, you know all the standard arguments about not handing out money to homeless people on the street and who knows what they'll use it for and all the rest.

But I thought about the fact that I was about to walk into that restaurant and walk out again with food for myself that I had paid for on my credit card, and I remembered that one time when I was maybe nine years old, my family was driving to the grocery store and we passed a homeless Vietnam veteran with a cardboard sign standing on the median of the road. And when we were at the grocery store, my parents bought him a pre-made sandwich and a bottle of juice, and on our way home, we stopped to give it to him and he seemed so surprised to get it.

So I hesitated for a minute outside the restaurant, and then I figured, screw it, it only costs a few dollars and I bet he'll eat it and he doesn't look like he's eaten much recently, so I walked up to him and I said hi. And he just kind of looked at me and I said to him that I didn't have any cash but that I would buy him some lunch if he'd like. And he kind of stared at me and then he mumbled something about how that would be nice. He was talking very quietly and I had to bend over very close to him to hear.

He said yes, he'd like some lunch, so I asked him what he'd like to eat, and he took quite awhile to think about it, and then he said that maybe some chicken and rice would be nice. So I told him that I would see what they had and went inside. I placed the order for my sandwich and while they were making it, I got a to-go box and walked up and down the hot bar, looking for chicken and rice. They had turkey that looked like chicken, hot and roasted and simple, so I got a big piece of that. The only chicken they had was Cajun, and I wasn't sure if he would like that, but I put in a small piece. Then I put in a lot of rice and added a few baked new potatoes and a bunch of mixed vegetables--broccoli and carrots and cauliflower and asparagus and peppers. I kind of felt like I should put in something else, but the box was pretty full and I didn't see anything else that seemed basic and filling and healthy in the hot bar, so I closed it up.

I remembered the juice my parents bought for that homeless veteran, so I got a bottle of orange juice to go with the meal. I wanted to get the kind with added calcium, but they only had that in the little cartons and I didn't see any straws, so I just got the normal kind in a bottle that would be more drinkable.

Then I paid for my lunch and his, and packed his up in a plastic bag with a knife, a fork, a spoon, and a few napkins. I put my own lunch in a separate bag and I went back outside and I gave him the bag with his lunch in it. He asked me to hang the bag on the side of his wheelchair, which I did. Then he said thank you and I told him to have a nice day and I went back to my office.

That was it--that's all that happened. I feel vaguely good about having done it, but more sad about the fact that it was so little, and about the fact that he will probably have to eat his food in his wheelchair in the middle of the sidewalk. And I also feel bad because even though this was a good thing to do, it doesn't replace that other man in the grocery store, and the fact that I could have done something to make his day nicer, and I didn't. No matter how many homeless people I feed (and I don't think this is something I'll be doing all the time, but maybe every now and then), that other man will still not have his New Year's card with the $20. And all the homeless people in DC, and everywhere, will still be homeless.

But still. Doing something little is better than doing nothing. And I am so glad I have parents who raised me to understand that. One opportunity taken does not make up for another one lost, but at least there is one more person in this city eating a hot lunch on a cold day.

16 comments:

  1. Something IS better than nothing. And to him it mattered.

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  2. That was really nice. Every kindness makes a difference.

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  3. That was a very thoughtful thing to do. I'm sure he appreciated it.

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  4. That was a very kind thing to do. I'm sure he appreciated it more than you'll ever know. Most people probably walk past him as if he's not even there. They certainly don't take the time to ask what he'd like for lunch and then go get it for him.

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  5. JMC is right, most people walk by him, step around him, pretend he's not there. That was really sweet of you, and at the same time heartbreaking. Who knows when his last meal was, especially as good a meal as the one you gave him.

    You have a very kind heart!

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  6. That made me tear up. That was such a kind thing to do. The world needs more caring people like you.

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  7. all acts of random kindness help, i think. especially to the person affected. every once in a while i get all touched when someone just goes out of their way to hold a DOOR for me, for goodness sake... i'm sure he won't soon forget what you did for him.

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  8. Good for you! I handed a couple of granola bars to a guy begging for bus-fare at the freeway off-ramp the other day, and I was surprised at how good it felt. While I usually never have cash, I typically always have a little snack in my bag.

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  9. I absolutely think something is better than nothing. I think an act of kindness like that, while small-ish to you, could be huge to someone who probably gets ignored and shunned all day.

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  10. that is so sweet that you helped make his day a little nicer. i was actually afraid that you were going to say that he was gone when you went to hand him his food.
    good for you. a little goes a long way and something IS better than nothing.

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  11. That is super nice of you Jess. Not many people would take the time to do that.

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  12. Jess, that brought tears to my eyes. One person can't save (or feed) everyone. But everyone can save (or feed) one person.

    You did good darlin and you should be so proud that you did such a wonderful thing.

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  13. awww that just made me feel good about the world. good job honey! i was such a sucker for the homeless when i was younger, and i used to give parts of my lunch out when i worked in NYC - i only wish i could do more too!

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  14. It is totally something. Good for you.

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  15. I love that idea. I agree - something is better than nothing, and at least you know you're doing something productive rather than possibly perpetuating the sterotype. (Hi, just really found your blog today. Will keep reading!)

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