Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Bugged. Except Callum. Hmph.

I'm starting to think that Callum is... well, not quite immune, but generally very mildly affected... by stomach bugs. And also, I kind of hate him for it because I WANT THAT SUPERPOWER and I decidedly do NOT have it, and neither does Torsten, or, evidently, Annika.

We got a bug last year on the day after Annika's first birthday (SUCH A DELIGHT) and Callum did barf a couple times, but then was totally fine, while Annika barfed a lot more and then had gross diapers for DAYS, and Torsten and I were also flattened out, as were my parents and Liz and her family (THANKS FOR NOTHING, stomach bug that appears 12 hours after a birthday party!).

Annika was patient zero with this one, barfing many times in succession one evening last week. We kept her home from school the next day, but she seemed totally fine, had normal diapers, and was perfectly cheerful, so we started to wonder if maybe it was just a fluke? She barfed again the next day and again after school the day after that but I think that was just because she is sort of sensitive and barfy generally and her irritated stomach couldn't handle a) lactose (the first aftershock puke) or b) drinking milk right before a car ride (the second aftershock puke).

So... Annika barfed, then was more or less fine, then 72 hours passed, then we started thinking that it really HAD just been a fluke because 72 hours is a long window for nobody else to get sick, so we started thinking that maybe we were home free... and that was our fatal mistake, because RIGHT after we started thinking that, Torsten woke up in the middle of the night to barf. Then he was down for the count alllll day, while Callum and I were still fine. But then the middle of the next night... BAM. My turn! WOE. So much woe!

(Side note: I DO actually kind of prefer to get a stomach bug about once every year just to maintain some baseline level of immunity? Like, the first stomach bug we ever got, when Callum was a baby, was MISERABLE. Like, the only time in my life when I've ever seriously doubted our decision to have children, because it was so so terrible and NOTHING was worth that level of pain. The next stomach bug we got, about a year later, was also miserable but not QUITE as bad. And since then, we've gotten about one every 10-12 months and while they are always deeply unpleasant, nothing has ever matched anything like those first couple, and it is my working theory that it is because we have some level of immunity left that takes the edge off it. So, if that's the tradeoff, I would rather get one about that often just to maintain the immunity. However, that doesn't make it any more pleasant when it actually shows up. I have not yet learned the zen art of being like, "ah yes, we were due, this is really a good thing, so welcome, hellish gastroenteritis!")

Anyway, so, Callum remained almost totally fine the whole time. He did have a couple of very very mild symptoms, so mild that if the rest of us had not been afflicted I wouldn't have even thought twice about them, but that was IT. He was never miserable, he never barfed, he ate and slept and played normally, and all was well. We did keep him home from school on Monday out of an abundance of caution of not wanting him to infect his classmates (and also because Octonauts makes an excellent, if occasional, babysitter) but as he remained totally fine, he headed back to school yesterday.

The rest of us have now also recovered and are feeling totally normal again, but I'm still a little jealous of my own child for his seeming immunity to such a horrible disease. I keep reminding myself that maybe someday he'll have kids and this will be the most useful skill ever and his spouse will lie in bed moaning between barfs while thanking god for a husband who is impervious to stomach bugs and can handle the kids. So... maybe in thirty years? I'll stop shooting daggers at my kid with my eyes for his incredible luck.

Just, please please please let this once a year schedule stick. The thought of them coming more often than not is currently what's keeping me awake at night.


  1. Hopefully he does have the luck! I have literally never had a stomach bug in my life and the only times I've thrown up are from drinking too much and I can count them on one hand. :)

  2. oh man that IS an amazing super power. and I am now kind of terrified because I never thought of this 1x/year immunity possibility, and the last time I had a stomach bug was like... man, seriously well over a decade ago, I'm thinking, which means that I am in for some BAD TIMES down the road. ::premature fear-weep::