Dear Torsten, volume 4

Dear Torsten,

Exactly four years ago today, you and I went on our very first date. Just over two years later, we would be married. On this day four years ago, neither of us knew that would happen--but we both did have a sense that this date wasn't going to be like most others. That this relationship was special right from the day we met.


I probably say this every year, but this past year has been our best yet. Big stuff has happened--you quitting your job to start your own company, me getting pregnant--and when we look back on this year that will certainly be the stuff that stands out... but it isn't just that. There are little things, too. We hosted Christmas at our own home for the very first time. We settled into Denver and started establishing a real little network of friends. We took walks in the snow and hikes in the sun. You held me all night as I cried when I didn't get pregnant our first month trying. I wouldn't have even thought it was possible, but everything that has happened this year has made us even closer than ever. Not everything that's happened to us has been good, or easy--but the overall flavor of this year has been wonderful, because it was a year spent with you.


I still can't believe that I am lucky enough to have this life with you, to live with you every day and go to sleep with you every night. That we have created a child together and in a few months we get to meet this child and spend our lives with him. You have been nothing but supportive and understanding throughout this pregnancy--rubbing my back every day, coming to every prenatal appointment, discussing names for hours (even if you DID suggest the name Fritz in all seriousness, and let's just try to forget that you also argued for Alfred and Kelis), reminding me to take my vitamins without lecturing. You are adorably excited about having a baby. I really do swear that he looks just like you, and let me tell you right now that I will be disappointed if I'm wrong.


I hope that he is like you in other ways too. I hope that he develops your ethics, your strong sense of right and wrong, your desire to always do what's right. I hope that he has a sense of humor like yours, that he can find the amusing or ironic in any situation. I hope that he will make faces like you do. I hope that he will have red hair as a child like you did. I hope that he will be adorably serious when he's concentrating like you are. I love these things about you. I can't wait to see in what ways our child is like you, or like me, and in what ways he will be all his own self.


This next year is going to be, without a doubt, the most life-changing either of us has ever experienced. In some ways I wonder if we're crazy to voluntarily change things up so much when our life pretty wonderful exactly the way it is. But really I know that things will always be wonderful with you, no matter the situation. Because you yourself are wonderful. And I can't wait for the next part, because I know you'll be there too.


Love,
Jess