I am not going to make a bunch of proclamations about how this blog isn't going to become a mommy blog and so on, because a) well, it probably will be, in that I write about my life and a kid will necessarily be a big part of that life, and b) I like mommy blogs, and have no problem being labeled as a mommy blogger myself.
I will, however, say that I do not intend for every single post from here on out to be about pregnancy and kids. I swear. I just, you know, am almost 17 weeks pregnant and have only been out in the open about it for the last few of those weeks, so I'm playing catch-up. Then, really, there will be at least some posts about other facets of my life. Because as much as I am thrilled about being pregnant, it is not the only thing in my life. Despite how it may appear from reading my blog at the moment.
Anyway! Now that excuses are out of the way, let's talk about more pregnancy stuff! Yay!
First of all, we heard the heartbeat at my prenatal appointment on Friday. It took the midwife a minute to find it (she tried up too high first), but once she checked a little lower she picked it up right away and then we got to listen to the most amazing sound ever. Just a beautiful fast whooshing, right around 155-160 beats per minute, exactly where it should be. A living baby with a beating heart.
Somehow the fact that everything is still fine in there at 16 weeks makes me more convinced that we really are going to have this baby in January. I'm sure that as my 20-week appointment gets closer I will start to get nervous again, but for now I feel much calmer and more peaceful about things.
Another reason for the calm feeling is that I'm almost positive I'm feeling the baby move now. I could be wrong, but as of the middle of last week, I started feeling the occasional little squirmy motions in my lower belly, kind of like a worm wriggling or maybe a fish flopping around in there. I feel them maybe once or twice a day, they aren't always in the same spot, and they aren't very strong, but I've never felt anything like that before and I'm pretty sure it's baby-related. That is also quite reassuring, I have to say. I hope they increase in strength and frequency over the next few weeks and prove me right.
Also, the weirdest thing has happened. I assume most of you remember how I was dying to be pregnant for ages before we decided the time was right to start trying? Well, even back then when other people were pregnant and had babies I wasn't jealous, I was just happy and excited for them.
But now? Now that I'm 17 weeks pregnant with our baby, and my pregnancy so far has been healthy and uncomplicated? I have suddenly become jealous of women who are more pregnant than me and actually having their babies. I mean not jealous like I'm bitter and begrudge them their experience, but more a quick reaction of WHY CAN'T I HAVE THAT RIGHT NOW? Apparently it's more of my instant gratification side, that we have to wait another five months and these people get to have and hold their babies right this second.
I mean, if we had a baby right this second we wouldn't even be prepared! We don't have a crib. The nursery is totally empty. We haven't done a childbirth class or learned anything much about taking care of a newborn or anything, really. We have plenty of time for that and we aren't rushing into it. So it's not like I actually want a baby right this second. Except that whenever anyone ELSE has a baby right this second, then I want a baby right this second too.
Is this just more hormonal emotional craziness? Or am I just generally crazy in a way that has nothing whatsoever to do with pregnancy?
Oh and also, thus far Torsten has come with me to all my prenatal appointments. At 8 weeks we had an ultrasound, at 12 weeks we were hoping for a heartbeat, at 16 weeks we were hoping for a heartbeat again (and got one!), and he'll definitely be coming at 20 weeks because that's the big ultrasound. After that, though? I'm not sure. I will say that I love love love having him with me, and he likes it too, and it's useful for both of us to get to hear info directly from the midwife, and ask questions as we think of them, and it really helps him feel involved in the pregnancy. So I think at least for 24 and 28 weeks we will keep it up with him attending.
But after that, the appointments are much more frequent... 2 weeks apart, and then eventually 1 week apart. And, you know, they're not super convenient and they happen during the workday and I doubt much exciting stuff happens at most of them. So, I guess we'll see and just play it by ear. But in the meantime, I want to know: for those of you who have been pregnant, how many of the prenatal appointments did the father/partner attend?
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