I am not going to make a bunch of proclamations about how this blog isn't going to become a mommy blog and so on, because a) well, it probably will be, in that I write about my life and a kid will necessarily be a big part of that life, and b) I like mommy blogs, and have no problem being labeled as a mommy blogger myself.
I will, however, say that I do not intend for every single post from here on out to be about pregnancy and kids. I swear. I just, you know, am almost 17 weeks pregnant and have only been out in the open about it for the last few of those weeks, so I'm playing catch-up. Then, really, there will be at least some posts about other facets of my life. Because as much as I am thrilled about being pregnant, it is not the only thing in my life. Despite how it may appear from reading my blog at the moment.
Anyway! Now that excuses are out of the way, let's talk about more pregnancy stuff! Yay!
First of all, we heard the heartbeat at my prenatal appointment on Friday. It took the midwife a minute to find it (she tried up too high first), but once she checked a little lower she picked it up right away and then we got to listen to the most amazing sound ever. Just a beautiful fast whooshing, right around 155-160 beats per minute, exactly where it should be. A living baby with a beating heart.
Somehow the fact that everything is still fine in there at 16 weeks makes me more convinced that we really are going to have this baby in January. I'm sure that as my 20-week appointment gets closer I will start to get nervous again, but for now I feel much calmer and more peaceful about things.
Another reason for the calm feeling is that I'm almost positive I'm feeling the baby move now. I could be wrong, but as of the middle of last week, I started feeling the occasional little squirmy motions in my lower belly, kind of like a worm wriggling or maybe a fish flopping around in there. I feel them maybe once or twice a day, they aren't always in the same spot, and they aren't very strong, but I've never felt anything like that before and I'm pretty sure it's baby-related. That is also quite reassuring, I have to say. I hope they increase in strength and frequency over the next few weeks and prove me right.
Also, the weirdest thing has happened. I assume most of you remember how I was dying to be pregnant for ages before we decided the time was right to start trying? Well, even back then when other people were pregnant and had babies I wasn't jealous, I was just happy and excited for them.
But now? Now that I'm 17 weeks pregnant with our baby, and my pregnancy so far has been healthy and uncomplicated? I have suddenly become jealous of women who are more pregnant than me and actually having their babies. I mean not jealous like I'm bitter and begrudge them their experience, but more a quick reaction of WHY CAN'T I HAVE THAT RIGHT NOW? Apparently it's more of my instant gratification side, that we have to wait another five months and these people get to have and hold their babies right this second.
I mean, if we had a baby right this second we wouldn't even be prepared! We don't have a crib. The nursery is totally empty. We haven't done a childbirth class or learned anything much about taking care of a newborn or anything, really. We have plenty of time for that and we aren't rushing into it. So it's not like I actually want a baby right this second. Except that whenever anyone ELSE has a baby right this second, then I want a baby right this second too.
Is this just more hormonal emotional craziness? Or am I just generally crazy in a way that has nothing whatsoever to do with pregnancy?
Oh and also, thus far Torsten has come with me to all my prenatal appointments. At 8 weeks we had an ultrasound, at 12 weeks we were hoping for a heartbeat, at 16 weeks we were hoping for a heartbeat again (and got one!), and he'll definitely be coming at 20 weeks because that's the big ultrasound. After that, though? I'm not sure. I will say that I love love love having him with me, and he likes it too, and it's useful for both of us to get to hear info directly from the midwife, and ask questions as we think of them, and it really helps him feel involved in the pregnancy. So I think at least for 24 and 28 weeks we will keep it up with him attending.
But after that, the appointments are much more frequent... 2 weeks apart, and then eventually 1 week apart. And, you know, they're not super convenient and they happen during the workday and I doubt much exciting stuff happens at most of them. So, I guess we'll see and just play it by ear. But in the meantime, I want to know: for those of you who have been pregnant, how many of the prenatal appointments did the father/partner attend?
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My husband attended all of them, even though he works a half hour away. I tried to schedule them conveniently, so he could go before or after work. It just felt, to us, like we should both be there.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if your blog becomes a mommy blog, especially for those first few years, go for it. As I recall, at the time I couldn't imagine anything more exciting than those first words, first steps, random observations. Your blog, your topics. :)
My husband hasn't attended any of my appointments with the OB. He works 2 hrs away and my OB is enar my work so it's actually 3 hrs form his job. He's taken days off for all the ultrasound appointments which are at the hospital. I don't really care if he's not at the OB visits, there's just regular check of weight, pee in a cup, listen to the heartbeat, measure my uterus ... etc. I'd rather he save his time off for when we need it later.
ReplyDeleteOf course if he worked closer or form home, he'd come to all :)
B just came to the ultrasounds and to two appointments at the end when I was feeling like my opinions and wishes for delivery were being ignored - he tried to be the enforcer. I didn't feel like he should leave work to hear "Heartbeat's good, your blood pressure's good see you next month/in two weeks/next week".
ReplyDeleteMy daughter's first movements felt EXACTLY like a fish swimming...except I didn't feel her move until around 20-21 weeks, so you are very lucky!
ReplyDeleteMy husband came to every OB appointment with me (and now comes to every pediatrician appointment if possible). I'm not sure if he enjoyed it, but I wanted him to feel like part of the "team", since he is...
How exciting! I can't even imagine what it would feel like to have a floppy little fish - that is actually MY baby - in my belly. I'm so glad things are going smoothly for you.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome that you are feeling the baby move so early! It took me to around the time of our big ultrasound to feel James moving.
ReplyDeleteMy husband came to most of my appointments, but we work within a block of eachother, and my doctor's office was the next block over from his office, so it was pretty convenient. Once in a while he couldn't make it (especially toward the end when I was going every week), but it was nice to have him there for most of them, to remind me of questions I wanted to ask, and just to be there as support. I think it made him feel more involved in what was going on, and he liked hearing the baby's heartbeat as much as I did. :)
My husband came to the first appt, and then to all the milestones - everything was easy and relaxed about my pregnancy, and I work literally 5 minutes from my OB office, so it just made the most sense that way. At 30-ish weeks when I was diagnosed as pre-eclamptic (borderline) he began coming with me every single time, because he was worried.
ReplyDeleteAnd YAYAYAYAYAY for movement! What you're describing is totally it. How exciting!
Again with the wives' tales: Heartbeats over 150 = girls, according to them. :) I can't wait until your big reveal next month... because I'll be shocked if you say boy. :)
ReplyDeleteAs for appointments: My husband went to all of them until 20 weeks, then not again until like 36 weeks or something like that.
My husband always made it a point to come to the "significant" appointments. Hearing the babies' heartbeats, ultrasounds, etc. But the stuff in between--only if it was convenient for his work schedule. Amusingly, I told him he didn't have to come to my first appointment with our third baby since it was probably too soon to hear the heartbeat--I was nine weeks. Well, right at the end the doc said, "It's probably too soon, but do you want to try for a heartbeat?" And yes, she found it right away. DH was actually a bit miffed at me when I told him, but how was I to know she'd actually try and FIND a heartbeat?
ReplyDeleteIt's not a mommy blog. It's a personal blog which just happens to be written by a person who is a mommy. heh.
He came to all but the very last few, of which there were MANY because everyone seemed very WORRIED. The only appointment he came to for pregnancy #2 was the ultrasound.
ReplyDeleteMike would come to all of them, if they weren't an hour from our house! :)
ReplyDeleteHe came to the first few, then comes every now and then since they became more frequent. They are pretty boring sometimes - pee, measure, heartbeat, done.
He'll probably come a few more times as we get closer to discuss the birth plan with the midwife, etc. He's super involved. Like, SUPER. We took Bradley classes - which is the "Husband-coached" childbirth method. He takes his coaching job seriously. Which I love! :)
Very excited your 16-week appt went well and that you're feeling movement. I think I've felt movement, but I can also go days at a time when I feel nothing. It's so confusing!
ReplyDeleteSweets has come to every appointment with me and probably will continue to do so even after our big 20-week appointment later this week. He's in the medical field and it not only provides him an opportunity to ask his own questions (which, I'd surely screw up if asking on his behalf), but it also provides him an opportunity to become as comfortable as I am with the OB team (not just my OB, whom we both adore).
It's a very personal decision, though. Sweets also happens to work 5 minutes from my OB's office and my appointments have been scheduled after he gets off work. So, it's not like he has to go out of his way to make them!
So great to hear the heartbeat! I'm super excited for you two.
ReplyDeleteMy husband only came to our ultrasound appointments. Our doctor's office was a busy place and I often was waiting there for more than an hour for a five-minute appointment. It's literally a weight check, pee check, measurement, and then you're out the door again.
Still, it's exciting the first time around so if Torsten wants to come along, that's great!
Oh, I DEFINITELY felt that! I'd look around the waiting room and feel so jealous of the women who were obviously farther along than me! And when I was expecting the twins, one of my best friends was expecting a baby too, and she was one trimester ahead of me and it was wonderful to overlap and also it was TORTURE!
ReplyDeletePaul came to the ultrasounds for the first two babies, but not to any other appointments. But we've always had trouble with his job, since he has an over-an-hour commute.
I can totally relate to the "I WANT THE BABT TO BE HERE NOW!" syndrome. You're not ready at all realistically, but the anticipation is too much!!
ReplyDeleteHub went to the first few appointments with Bud and the big sonogram, and my very last appointment where we were talking about induction. With Lucy--he came for the big sonogram, and with Liv he came to a few midway through because I had switched OB's and he wanted to meet them, to the sonogram, and he came quite a bit at then end because they were early, we were both home, and because we knew we were scheduling Liv's birth due to the size issues I had with the first 2.
Do what is good for you and Torsten. I never "required" that Hub come with me, he came when he wanted to.
Since I already wrote a book, here's a question: will you ask Torsten to stay in the hospital with you after Piglet is born? I sent Hub home all 3 times figuring there was no point in both of us sleeping horribly in the hospital, but I have many friends who have asked or DEMANDED their husbands stay with them the whole time.
Also, one of the wonderful things about the third trimester is being the one other women are looking at enviously in the waiting room. I'd look at my own huge tum and at their tiny one and feel happy because now it was ME who was almost done.
ReplyDeleteWell, I love reading about babies and pregnancy - even if I can't add any insight or advice seeing as I'm not a mum! But you've been one of my favourite bloggers for a few years now, so of course I'll be here for the journey. :)
ReplyDeleteJ came to all but one appointment, and that was only because his car wouldn't start that day.
ReplyDeleteFor all 4 of my pregnancies, Darren only came to the 20 week u/s. For the first pregnancy, he had just started a new job and for the subsequent ones, he was watching the older kid(s) or working. Plus, most of the appts were boring. Long wait, short visit and I don't need him to know that I gained 7 lbs... heh
ReplyDeleteFor my first Mark came to the biggies - the 1st appt after the positive test, the heartbeat, the ultrasound then the last couple before my due date. The 2nd time, he came to the heartbeat and ultrasound and that's it. Once you hit the weekly appointment it's pee, scale, measure and your done in 5-10 min. Seemed silly for him to leave work for that. And, since we had gone through it all before, once I was past my due date and scheduled an induction he didn't come to the final visits that time.
ReplyDeleteOkay, this is embarrassing, but I can't even remember if/ how many of my appointments my husband came to. He must have come to some, because we used to gossip about the midwives in the practice.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I TOTALLY remember having that baby jealousy thing, especially with my second (with my first baby, the idea of having a child in the house was too logically impossible to contemplate). A friend of mine gave birth three months before me and I wanted to weep with the wanting to have the baby NOW/ wanting to not be pregnant any more.
I think my husband missed one of the weekly visits at the end of the pregnancy, but that was it. I liked that he came to all of them, but it would have been ok if he hadn't been able to be there.
ReplyDeleteNot only was I jealous of other women who were farther ahead of me, I was jealous of those who had farther to go! Once I was nearing the end, I was envious of those who were just getting started, who still had the whole time to look forward to.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my husband went to all of the appointments with our first baby, but only the ultrasound appointments for the second. It was too hard for him to get off of work, to sit in a waiting room for an hour then see the doctor for two minutes.
Hooray for baby movements! It really is the coolest thing ever.
ReplyDeleteAs for appointments, Jon has only come to the big ones with me. Not much really happens at the regular ones, especially now that I'm going every two weeks and neither of us felt it necessary for him to tag along. They're less than 10 minutes long and that includes the weigh-in and pee in a cup too!
My husband came to all but one appointment during all 5 of my pregnancies. He was with me during the 2 that we found out we had miscarried, he was there for every ultrasound (which was many over the 3 to-term pregnancies), everything. It was always his choice but I was so happy to have him there, every single time.
ReplyDeleteI hope everything continues to go smoothly!!!
Well, with Calum's pregnancy, Brett (my husband) came to every appointment. He was a champ. Also, we had two previous pregnancies that we went in for ultrasounds and there was no heartbeat, so we were nervous the whole time and he just wanted to be there.
ReplyDeleteFor the subsequent children (Emmett, Willa Mae), Brett attended exactly two appointments, for each 20-week ultrasound. But that worked out better for us anyhow because I didn't want him to miss work and then have difficulty getting off work when I actually needed him.
There's something ESPECIALLY magical about that first pregnancy. And it's so fun to read along with you because you really appreciate all that.
My ex-husband came to the ultrasounds for each and that was it.
ReplyDeleteI LOVED those first few flutterings and it's really great when the baby gets bigger and you can push and s/he'll push back. I miss feeling that sometimes.
ReplyDeleteAs for appointments - Luke came with me to every single appointment except a few of the last ones when we moved back to Canada. With starting a new job, he couldn't exactly take off time every week. BUT, his office is in the same building as the midwife, so it made it convenient to at least see him right after and fill him in on all the details.
Ted has come to a lot of appointments...but there is no way he could come to them all. I mean, I literally go to one doc or another every week. Still, he almost always comes to my maternal-fetal appointments because we get to see the girls.
ReplyDeleteI hope that CP comes to most, if not all of my appts. I think that it is a good way for the guy to feel involved.
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way. Even though I knew I was going to have a baby in XX weeks, I was so jealous of people who were having their babies RIGHT THEN!
ReplyDeleteJoe went to almost all of my appointments. When they got to the point of weekly visits, I told him he didn't need to because that was a lot of work to miss to just hear the heartbeat. He loves going, though.
I know exactly what you're talking about (and how annoying for me to be saying this when I'm one of the ones with an actual baby to hold now), but WOW, I . . .actively disliked people who were farther along in pregnancy than I was. Including my own sister.
ReplyDeleteOmg I am still just SO excited for you guys!!! Squeeee!
ReplyDeleteThe husband came to every appointment except for the last one , because he had to work..turned out to be a pretty exciting appointment though as I was hooked up measure my contractions and they scheduled my induction!
So far he has been to all of Meredith's pediatrician appointments too!
Is time just flying by or what!! Every time I read your blog it seems like time is cruising along!! :-)