Tuesday, August 3, 2010

16 weeks sounds like a lot of weeks

You guys, I am so happy that it's August. It just sounds so... second-trimester-y, somehow. Like January is suddenly not actually that far away anymore. And I'm 16 weeks today, which sounds like four months even though it's really more like three and a half, and four months sounds like a lot of months, too.

I'm still in DC, and yes, this end part of the trip is seriously dragging, and yes, there may have been some tears when video chatting with Torsten, but tomorrow I go home and oh, I am so excited about that. Twelve days is a lot of days to be away. But this is the last time for a long time and I am happy about that.

My 16-week prenatal appointment is on Friday and so now that I am officially at 16 weeks it is time for me to do what Swistle described and start wondering if everything is OK in there. It is weird being pregnant, getting weird crampy twinges all over the place, both lower in the abdomen where the baby actually is, and higher up where the baby cannot possibly be, and therefore which I can only ascribe to organs and intestines being shoved out of the way as the uterus grows. And there have been a couple of weird flick-like feelings and one moment of possible fluttering that could imply movement, or could imply, I don't know, intestines? It's really quite hard to know.

Anyway, my belly is definitely growing. I still look like I've been eating too many Skittles to the untrained eye but I myself can tell there's a baby bump going on. I measured my belly and it's added two inches in the last two weeks. That seems like a lot of inches in just two weeks but it doesn't look THAT much bigger so maybe that's just a regular amount. I also am 93% sure I can feel my uterus, a hard part of my lower belly that starts at my pelvic bone and stops about three inches below my belly button. And those seem like positive signs that growth is still happening. And the weepiness seems like a positive sign too.

Plus I'm in the second trimester and there's no reason to think that growth wouldn't still be happening. But I'm almost to my next appointment and that means it's time for the Morbid Wonderings! Basically, if we don't find a heartbeat on Friday there had better be an ultrasound to show us a healthy Piglet, is what I'm saying.

Oh, and speaking of morbid thoughts, since I'm pregnant and all, guess what grown-up responsible thing we did? We got life insurance for Torsten! I already have some, through work, but since he, you know, works for himself, he doesn't. But now he does! I am not the type to sit there envisioning terrible scenarios in which my beloved husband encounters an early demise, but it is oddly reassuring to know that if something terrible were indeed to happen, in the midst of my grief and what I assume would be my complete inability to function, I would not get foreclosed upon and end up a single mother living with her baby in a box under a bridge.

We find comfort wherever we can, right?


  1. I've gotta say, the morbid thoughts don't seem to ever go away. I literally hold my breath at every appointment until I hear both heartbeats, since I've generally convinced myself prior to the appointment that there is something wrong with one of the babies. Welcome to motherhood?

    Congrats on 16 weeks!

  2. I too was nervous before every appointment. Especially in the beginning, yes, but also long after I could feel the baby... did it have 3 legs? Was it growing too fast/slow? etc. Why we torture ourselves like that, I'll never understand.

    Good luck and I'm so happy that you are 16 weeks! All of my pregnancies both FLEW BY and DRUG ON AND ON, but then looking back it seemed to have gone by really quickly. January (YIKES!) will be here before you know it. ;)

  3. Oddly, Paul was showing me his life insurance policy last night. He was all "don't kill me" joking about it. But I was like, um, I'm not your beneficiary, so that wouldn't do me any good, lol.

    But, I did tell him that once we got engaged we have to make each other the beneficiaries of each others assets.

    And yay for Piglet! Try to remember that the glass is half full!

  4. The way I see it, morbid imaginings are like taking an umbrella: if you're prepared, the worst won't happen.

    Only, then I get in an argument with myself about whether morbid imaginings are preparation or, as I've recently seen somewhere on the internet about worrying and anxiety, mental wormholes that steal my happiness and give it to...well, they steal it.

    Life insurance, though. THAT is an umbrella (and frankly, as someone who's sat beside a friend as she had to put in claims against some woefully inadequate policies, makes sure you get enough) (GAH! Morbid! Enough!)

  5. Unfortunately, those thoughts are here to stay. However, the upside is that hearing that heartbeat will become the most beautiful sound ever! Welcome to motherhood!

  6. Ack, that's something J and I need to sort out when we're back in Australia. Thanks for the reminder!

    I hope your next appointment goes well and you get to hear Piglet's heartbeat - and maybe get a sneaky ultrasound too! x

  7. Glad you are on your way home lady - I know it's probably been hard to be away. Happy thoughts to you for your appointment on Friday. :)

  8. Morbid Wonderings! Oh, my. I do hope those pass quickly. I am sure the piglet is doing just fine!

  9. I totally agree about the insurance thing - I feel the same way. It would be nice not to worry about losing the roof over our heads if something terrible happened.

    I worried at every appointment too, and now that the kids are five and two I haven't worried about them any less - the curse of parenthood!

  10. Conrad and I are childless and we got life insurance about a month after we got married. It's just something you MUST have and it is SUPER grown up!

    Hey not that we can probably do anything about it, but I'll be flying into Co Springs tomorrow for a week!!!!

  11. Wow, 16 weeks already! So exciting!

    When a friend of mine was around 14 weeks, the fundus of her uterus was very visible. It was just this weird mound that popped out and it lasted like that for a couple weeks. It looked like an alien. Pregnancy is crazy like that!

    Good luck during your next appointment, I hope all goes well!

  12. I have morbid thoughts already about something happening to me, something happening to CP, etc. It's ridonkulous really. And then if I get pregnant? Whoa.

    Have you been continuing your workouts? You were swimming before and that's supposed to be pretty good for knocked up ladies, yes?

  13. I heart you. And also Skittles!

  14. I sent you a look of love for your weeks/months math.

    16 weeks really does sound good!

    I find a lot of comfort in life insurance, too, and find it very calming whenever I'm starting to get hysterical about some imagined thing happening to Paul.

  15. Just so you know, you're about a week ahead of my sister's pregnancy! :) So it's been really fun for me to keep up with your progress ever since you announced the impending Piglet.
    Sixteen weeks always feels huge to me, too; I don't know why. So very comfortably in the second trimester, which is generally thought to be the most pleasant. Also 30, which is going to be me this Saturday. Holy. Crap.

  16. The awareness of mortality that accompanies creating new life is staggering. Such magic ahead, so happy for you!

  17. 16 weeks is a good milestone. YAY! Also, the worry-- it doesn't stop once they exit the womb. At 6, 5 and 2 I still check to make sure my kids are breathing at night. And if they aren't with me for a night, I don't sleep very well.

    A Mother's Curse, I suppose.

  18. Good luck come Friday! Unfortunately, you'll probably always be nervous around upcoming exams, because 1. First BABY! (squee!); 2. You're a planner and a think-aheader which I think lends itself to thinking out all the scenarios; and 3. It's got to be totally normal, I'm worried about things all the time, and I'm not doing anything nearly as important as growing a human.

    Good luck, mama! and I'm glad you're going home :)

  19. *Snerk* Living with your baby in a box under a bridge...I just don't see it, no matter how bad things could ever get. :-) You are way too resourceful/too much of a thinker to allow that kind of thing to happen.

    Ooooh, Piglet!! I'm sure he/she is healthy and gorgeous.

  20. Wow I can't even imagine how weirdit must feel to be pregnant. Weird good, but still weird. =) I hope the rest of your DC trip goes well!

  21. Also necessary and morbid, all at once: making wills. "OK, now, if you're both in an accident but one of you dies immediately and the other one lingers for a few weeks and then dies . . . "

    It's especially nice to get to do this with pregnancy hormones coursing through your system.