Call me a control freak; I prefer the term "planner," but it really doesn't matter. Here is the way I cope with this character trait without going insane over things I really want but can't obtain through sheer will: I fall back on my facts, my unshakable truths, the cornerstones of my life, some big and some small. I remind myself of them and then I feel better about all the other stuff.
Here are some of the main ones:
- I love my husband so, so, so much, and he loves me equally much, and we mesh and and we are happy together and we are growing together and we will always be there for each other.
- I have a lot of things going for me: skills and education and useful personality traits. I make things happen. This ability will not go away even if I don't always get exactly what I think I want.
- Globally, as a society, we tend to move forward over time, helped by each new generation's different outlooks and ideals. Even if it feels like sometimes we are bogged down in the moment and it is unbelievable that we aren't getting something that seems so clear-cut, eventually we will get there. Eventually we will move forward.
- I do not need to become fluent in German. I do not need to learn the nuances of German grammar. The basics are enough. My skills do not need to be perfect in order to be useful.
- I have a family and friends whom I love, and who love me back.
- Someday Torsten and I WILL have kids, whether I give birth to them or not. (This is the only thing that keeps me from panicking when I think about trying to get pregnant and possibly not being able to for whatever reason.)
- Most people are good, and mean well.
- I do not need to be a size 6 in order to consider my surgery a success. I would consider it a success even if I never lost another pound. But I am still losing pounds, and I will continue to do so.
- Exercise almost always makes me feel good, even if I have to force myself to do it.
- Purple is beautiful.
- I am a good person, and I always try to do the right thing.