Beyond incredulous

I hit my business trip wall yesterday. I am just DONE. I've been here for over a week, it's been windy and rainy for most of it, my husband is far away, I'm tired, and overall I'm just over it. I want to go home.

Luckily, I am going home, tonight, so I'm pretty much done at this point (other than the 4-hour plane ride), but I am still in that ridiculous mental place. I was VERY GRUMPY last night about having to go to bed by myself without Torsten next to me, and I was still grumpy about it when I woke up in a bed by myself this morning.

What can I say? I'm a big baby and I don't like to be away from my husband, and I don't like being away from home for this long unless I'm on some wonderful exotic vacation. And a business trip to DC is certainly not a wonderful exotic location.

But! It's OK! Because I have found incredible hilarity to distract me, in the form of some choice quotes from Jennifer Love Hewitt's new book.

Seriously. I had no opinion about this woman before. But NOW do I EVER have an opinion about her. I don't think I need to tell you what it is. I'm pretty sure that these quotes from her book speak for themselves:

"It's no secret—guys hate to spoon. They prefer to fork, lol! ... So here's the trick: play it cool until he falls asleep and then Velcro yourself to him, quickly and with very little motion (think Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible). And then, if and when he wakes, turn quickly, like you were just stretching, and wait. When the little lamb sleeps again One...Two...Three...Velcro!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"When they say 'I,' help them say 'we.' If you and your guy are with other people and he says, 'I ate at the best restaurant last night,' just simply follow it up with, 'Yeah, we had the best food!' It will eventually change his thinking."

Seriously, you have to read the rest of the quotes. No matter how pissy you're feeling, the sheer hilarity will crack you up. I mean, not that she is trying to be hilarious. But the quotes definitely are. Or else they're just really depressing. You decide.