Before Torsten quit his job, he got up every morning at 6:30 so that he could start work before 9 Eastern Time. This meant that both of us went to bed between 10 and 10:30 every weeknight, giving me about nine hours of sleep a night.
It was beautiful. I mean, it sucked for Torsten to get up so early, but for me (since I don't have to get up until 7:30), it was awesome.
But now he works on Mountain Time, which means he gets up at the same time as me, which means our bedtimes have been creeping later and later. Still fine... 11 p.m. is a totally reasonable bedtime for me, too.
Except this week it hasn't been 11 p.m. Part of that is due to the Olympics (oh how lovely it would be to watch them in real time), but that's not all. We were at the concert on Monday night. On Tuesday night Torsten had some network issue that he was up til 1 resolving (I went to bed before him, but not until I waited for him for awhile before realizing how long he would be, and then I woke up when he came to bed). And last night we went out with another business partner and didn't get home until midnight.
Plus, I'm not one of those people who falls asleep right away, even when I'm tired. It doesn't take me hours but it does normally take me 15-30 minutes.
So, the result has been that I've gotten 6-7 hours of sleep for each of the past few nights, and it's starting to wear on me. Apparently, I'm one of those people who functions best on 8 hours of sleep, minimum.
So, tonight, no Olympics! In bed at 10! I have a sleep deficit to make up for, and I need to do it, stat.
But ooh... someday, when we have a baby, that adjustment period is not going to be fun. At all. Seriously, how do you people with colicky newborns handle it? I mean, at this point I am barely what you could call sleep deprived, and I am already feeling exhausted. How do you function if your baby wakes up screaming every hour all night long?
Also, how much sleep do you all need, baby or not? And that's whether you're actually getting the amount of sleep you need or not.
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I went to bed last night at 745... well, I take that back. I fell asleep in bed trying to stay awake at 745, and then I officially went to bed at 830. It was wonderful, and when I woke up at 630ish this morning, I felt great. Apparently, I need a lot of sleep and I had been working on a deficit. I agree... when/if I have a baby, this adjustment is going to be killer.
ReplyDeleteI am someone who functions best on 8+ hours a night. I'll sleep 10 hours a night if I could. However, in the last 4 years that's only happened once in a blue moon. It's not only the baby that keeps you up; pregnancy is hell on your sleep, too. I don't think it's exaggerating to say that for a good 18-24 months you won’t get a solid night’s sleep.
ReplyDeleteAs for getting through it (especially if you are nursing and are the sole night-feeder)...you just do it. You will be sleep deprived and cranky and not functioning 100% but it all seems to work out. You sleep when you can, go to bed at 8 PM, figure out how to comfortably sleep while nursing. And maybe, if you are lucky sometime before the kid is a year old you'll get a week straight of 6-7 hours of sleep each night and all of a sudden you can't function without that much sleep and the next middle of the night waking will leave you wrecked for days.
I can honestly say that with our 2nd just weeks away, I am DREADING the sleeplessness. It's not fun and knowing in advance what it will really be like is awful. The ignorance of being a 1st-time parent is bliss.
The Olympics are killing my sleep! I'm usually asleep by 11PM, up by 6AM and that works for me. Now, I'm lucky if I'm asleep by 1AM and I'm still up by 6AM. I cannot sleep in, so if I want to make up for a sleep deficit, I need to go to bed early, which with my schedule is next to impossible. I've been in a sleep-deprived haze since February 12th!
ReplyDeleteOh those olympics are fickle, aren't they? The figure skating goes late, but it's what I really want to watch. I'm tired this week too, thanks NBC - but I'm totally watching the skating tonight. I'll catch up on sleep this weekend.
ReplyDeleteha, your post makes me chuckle. I used to think I was tired, too, until I had a baby. :P NOW I know what tired means AND how much sleep I really need to function.
ReplyDeleteTypically, I am in bed by 10p. (or earlier if I am super tired.) I get up at 6a weekdays, whenever our daughter wakes up on weekends (7a or so).
Sleep is a luxury. :)
I don't have kids, but my sister has a 2 year old who just has a strange little body clock. He sleeps, he just gets up around 3:30 or 4 am. She already wakes up at 5 am for work, and is pregnant with her 2nd. She hasn't had 7 or 8 hours of sleep in quite a while. On the upside (if you can call it that), they've adjusted to the lifestyle of "less sleep" and still function and raise their kid, and heck, even have fun and do fun stuff. I think our bodies do make that adjustment over time, just like they adjust to being pregnant. You'll be fine! You'll work out your own schedule and routine when the time comes that the baby will allow for that. And you'll have the benefit of already being at home for work (i.e. no long, tiring commute to add to the feeling of tiredness).
ReplyDelete- Mon
I hear you - the Olympics are keeping us up way too late!
ReplyDeleteI (we) are old; we are in bed by 9:30 p.m., 10:00 p.m. at the latest. A. is up by 6:00 a.m. and I am usually up around 7:00 a.m. If I stick to this schedule I am feeling great. Mess with it just a little and I am a wreck for at least two days.
I used to need about 8 hours as well, but once I had Madeline that changed. Now I'm okay on 6 hours.
ReplyDeleteHaving a baby is hell on sleep. That's all there really is to be said. It's just something that you do and you get through because you need to. Madeline was a pretty awesome sleeper, but since I was nursing I was getting up to pump anyway even when she did sleep for 4-5 hours at a stretch.
A previous commenter mentioned pregnancy, and oh my YES. I was SO relieved to have a baby and not a belly anymore when she was born - it is HARD to sleep with that giant belly. I giggled like a maniac the first time I laid down on my stomach again - bliss!
Naps will be your salvation. Use them wisely. And sleep now, especially on the weekends! I really miss sleeping in with my husband. Now we trade days so that we both get lie-in time on the weekend, but doing so alone is not the same.
I'll add the quintessential mommy disclaimer: It's all so very much more than worth it.
Funny enough, you just deal those first few sleep-deprived months. Kyle was colicky although he didn't wake up every hour, he just screamed when he was awake, but you go on adrenaline and caffeine and anxiety. Or I did, I should say. He started sleeping more and more and then finally through the night (12 hrs) at 5 months and it wasn't until THEN that I started feeling the affects of a sleepless night here and there. Your body is quick to adjust, surprisingly, but when you get used to sleeping through the night again, it's those random rough nights that are torture.
ReplyDeleteOn average, before and after baby, I get about 6-7 hours a night. Although I used to nap a LOT more on the weekends.
I love my sleep too. I don't know how people do it with like 5, or 6 hours of sleep. I need like 7-9. When I used to live close to work, sometimes I'd get 10-12 hours of sleep. It was pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteLOL. My mantra is "I'll sleep when I am dead." I don't need more than 6 hours a night.
ReplyDeleteI was very lucky. My first child slept 3 to 4 hours from the git go. My second child, well, he is like me and didn't need a lot of sleep. He barely slept a couple of hours at a litem. So it is always up in the air on that. But, it is a good tired. I think.
What timing! I am a zombie this morning after being up every 2 hours last night. Basically what everyone else said is true. I LOVE sleep but somehow I have managed to live without it. You get used to it. I still am up at least once a night and some days are harder than others to function. Truthfully it was easier when I was on mat leave because I could take naps. Working full time is tough. But you do get used to it!
ReplyDeleteI think it's the HIGH of the new baby. I would be SO TIRED and yet still be happy to see the baby (this is in the early days). Then also, I was good at dozing while breastfeeding. And although it usually takes me half an hour to fall asleep, when I was really tired out from early babycare I would fall asleep right away. And I guess the answer is that you just DON'T function as you do when you have enough sleep, which is why so many women complain about it: its not possible to do it at your usual level of functioning, but it still has to be done so you do it anyway, and you're tired and you're crabby and you sometimes snap at people or cry.
ReplyDeleteAnd by "you" I mean "me"/"I".
ReplyDeleteThe adjustment after the first child is SO HARD. My life was seriously consumed with sleep issues. Consumed.
ReplyDeleteNow, I regularly get 6 or less hours of broken sleep per night and can still function just fine the next day. As long as I get at LEAST 4 hours in a row, I'm OK.
I need AT LEAST 8 hours or I start to feel murderous toward all mankind. I go to bed around 10:00 and get up at 6:00 (an hour and 20 minutes earlier than I used to have to get up, thank you crappy new job commute), which is 8 hours, but it's very fragmented. Either I stay up later reading, or the cats wake me at 3 a.m., or I'm awake for good when Jason gets up at 5:30, etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteEvery single morning when that alarm goes off I want to punch someone in the face.
I like a good 8 hours of sleep. I have a good routine where I'm in bed by 9pm, asleep by 10pm, and usually wake up 10-15 minutes before my alarm goes off at 6am.
ReplyDeleteSleeping is my favorite thing and that's what scares me most about having a baby.
after you have a kid you will NEVER sleep 8-9 restful hours at one time again. my daughter is 3.5 and even though she sleeps through the night at this point, she still gets up super-early (6:00 or so) and she sometimes has bad dreams during the night. we also had the potty training night-time wakings, and the big girl bed adjustments. and the first year or so is HELL on the sleeping. my husband and i are both "need our sleep" kind of people and we have both been seriously sleep deprived for 3+ years (on and off). the only time i feel really rested is when she has a sleepover with her grandparents and we can sleep in. getting up at 6 is rough no matter when you go to sleep. i won't sugar-coat it for new parents: your days of sleeping well and restfully, and especially sleeping IN, are OVER. i am glad i waited until mid-30s to have her, at least i slept in my 20s :)
ReplyDeletethe olympics are screwing me up, BIG TIME. i am usually in bed by 10, but don't put it past me to have a night at 8pm, when i find myself wandering into that wonderful place.....
ReplyDeleteWe are generally in bed between 10-10:30 ... and we get up at 5:00. I am OK on 7 hours of sleep, but less than that (i.e., when we go to sleep at 10:30), I'm not such a happy camper. The problem is, we can't get up later. And going to sleep before 10:00 is really, REALLY hard to do.
ReplyDeleteI can't even think about the baby-nights. My husband needs like 10 hours of sleep (I swear, he is still a five year old) and I need a good nine.
ReplyDeletePregnancy help you adjust to not sleeping all night, as you are up alot to pee, adjust your position, etc. So when the babe arrives, you're already used to not sleeping 9 hour stretches.
ReplyDeleteThen, during the sleep deprivation, it's amazing to me how much I COULD function, when I needed to. I'm a 9-hour girl too, and even getting MUCH MUCH less than that, I was still able to get through the day. I think our bodies adjust, and while it's not always pleasant, it's do-able.
(I agree w/ Jennie that it's the getting up after you're used to them sleeping all night that's brutal.)
Anyway, even though you love and need your sleep, you will be just fine with a new baby. I'm confident of that!
For years, I started work at 5:00 AM, but because of traffic in the DC area, where I live, and lack of public transportation at the early hour, I had to get up at 3:45 a.m. to make it to work on time. Because of such an early start, i tried to go to bed around 10:00 each night. In reality, I went to bed around 11:30 or midnight every night. My body got used to having about fours of sleep a night - 5 was a treat!
ReplyDeleteThis wasn't such a problem when my husband and I didn't have children. I could come home from work at 1:30 and nap. But we had our daughter almost four years ago and giving up my nap sucked (just as much as having a newborn who really only napped once maybe twice a day for never more than an hour at a time!)
For three years after my daughter was born I continued that lousy schedule and was constantly tired and cranky.
Finally, last year I left that job and now work from home. Now, my body has re-regulated itself and I MUST HAVE about 7 hours of sleep each night.
Holy cow! How do all of these people get 8 hours of sleep regularly?! I'm so jealous.
ReplyDeleteI'm THRILLED if I get 6 (yes, 6) on a weeknight, but that would require being asleep by midnight which never, ever happens. My internal clock is just not set to go to sleep by 10 and wake up at 6--it wants to be up until 1 and then sleep until 9. I've tried everything, but the body just doesn't sleep before midnight and the job + commute requires a 6am alarm. I'm one of those, "I'll sleep when I'm dead" people...until I've lived on 4 hours a night for a full week and then I crash for a nice 10 hour snooze.
I am loving the Olympics but not the fact that all the events I really want to see take place so late at night. I'm lucky if I'm in bed by midnight. And I'm totally one of those people who needs a lot of sleep - luckily I seem to be able to mange so-so with 7 hours.
ReplyDeletewe manage to be in the bed by 11, but i sometimes don't fall asleep for a half hour. My alarm goes off at 5:35. Yep. So I usually get 6 hours, but really need 7 to do well. (Thank GOD my 2 y-o is sleeping through the night now... and I just jinxed it.) To get that 7th hour, I typically fall asleep on the couch from about 9-10 every night, whether we're trying to watch a tv show or do laundry or whatever. Sometimes I attempt ot fight it, but my poor body is like, SLEEEEP! LET ME SLEEP.
ReplyDeleteSo I have a 7-week-old, and when I read that you got 9 hours of sleep a night, I shed a little tear. You made me cry, Jess.
ReplyDeleteI think I am very qualified to address the "How do you do it with a newborn?" question. The answer is...you just do. You just get over it and get through it, and I think when you have a baby you'll be surprised at how well you're able to function on very little sleep. And then? When your baby starts sleeping through the night and you're able to get like 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep? It will be BLISS. I'm counting down to that day.
But at least when I'm up with the baby at 11:30, 1:50, 3:30, 4:30, and 6:00, I can watch the Olympic coverage that I missed the night before because I was trying to sleep.
Momma's are amazing creatures, we can handle crying babies with no sleep and still want to kiss and love on them afterwards. Jackson didn't sleep through the night till he was a year old and it wore me down, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I learned to love those cuddle moments that I don't get hardly anymore.
ReplyDeleteNormally I need 10 hours of sleep to be un-tired. I can't do just 8 or even 9.
I used to need about 10 hours to function, but over the past few years, I've needed less and less. Which works fine for me, because I'm a total night owl. I regularly stay up until 1 or 2. And I also go through phases where I don't feel like I need any sleep and have stayed up until 3 or 4. I don't have to get up super early, which is nice, and I try not to schedule things really early on weekends because I like to sleep in :-)
ReplyDeleteGiven that I'm preparing for Sleep Deprivation: Round 2, I'm going to say that you adjust to that kind of loss of sleep more easily than you would think. Maybe that's just a lie I'm telling myself to keep the calm.
ReplyDeleteI've noticed that I'm not at the needing a nap stage of pregnancy, but I do pay for staying up past 10pm (my kid wakes at 6) DEARLY. Like, I will not recover all day from that kind of deficit. Particularly since I'm running without the aid of caffeine these days.
Since a young child I can remember it taking several hours to fall asleep at night, and then only sleeping about 4-5 hours after that. To this day I still do that. I do frequently feel tired during the day so I attempt to go to bed early around ten only to lay awake past one or two and then waking up by seven. I'm sure this will come in handy with the baby on the way (any day now!)
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ReplyDeletehi friends. I'm honestly into shoes and I have been digging for that singular model. The prices for the shoes are around 320 pounds on every page. But completely I base this locate selling them someone is concerned half price. I exceptionally like those [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]prada sneakers[/url]. I will definetly buy these. what is your opinion?
ReplyDeleteI just had a baby three weeks ago, and while I am as yet a rookie, I can confirm that pregnancy sleep is much less restful than new baby sleep. Don't get me wrong, I don't sleep much (if the obscene hour of this comment is any proof, and I have been up for a couple hours), the sleep I do get is more "normal" and restful- a true blessing if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteI think the hardest part of having a new baby is maintaining a good attitude about the challenges. It is really difficult to be happy about (for instance) getting up at 1:45 to feed a demanding thing for upwards of two hours with your sore boobs while your husband snores loudly next to you, the dogs lick their butts, and your hormones dip precariously low. The sleep deprivation isn't as big a deal because I among maternity leave and thusly can sleep whenever I want or have the opportunity. I hope it isn't a pipe dream that our sleep patterns will be more conducive to being productive at work by the time I return. I know my attitude makes a big difference in the situation but its hard to remember that in the moment.
My point: the sleep loss is but a minor portion of a bigger challenge.
I do best with 8 hours. More or less than that screws me up. I can function on six (which is what I seem to get when the boyfriend stays over) but it's not ideal. I try to get in bed before 11 every night since I get up at 6am without an alarm (damn cats!).
ReplyDeleteWell! Every woman and every baby is different, but I personally worked best on 8 hrs minimum of sleep a night until the first baby came, and then I felt a lot of the effect of a mild hyperthyroid condition which is common post-partum, which produced a LOT more energy then I think I would have otherwise had, and I was able to somehow survive. That's not to say I spent lots of days and nights hanging by a thread, but somehow, you just pull through.
ReplyDeleteI think once my most recent baby starts sleeping better I will probably return to more sleep, but probably not 8hrs of sleep a night. Which is fine really, because I have lots more to DO.
Ah, sleep. What a tricky necessity and topic. Even though my girls sleep well, I don't sleep as much as I could. I get by on about six hours a night. I think there is something about being a mother that just kills sleep. Can't explain it.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. Happy to have found my way here via the lovely Rebecca over at Diary of a Virgin Novelist! I will be back!
Oh man, I NEED 8. I function best on 9-9.5. These Olympics are KILLING me.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE my sleep and need a bare minimum of eight hours a night, but with a new baby I am definitely not getting that. I'm still functioning and not to cranky (most days!) but I do miss getting an uninterrupted nights sleep. Weekends at the in-laws are a god-send, my MIL likes to take Max around 6am and lets us sleep in as long as we like :)
ReplyDelete