Friday, November 13, 2009

This is my body

I'm struggling a bit with the compliments I've been getting on my weight loss. I mean, I've lost weight, it's noticeable, and while I don't always approve of positive comments on weight loss (example: a high school teacher of mine talking about visiting another teacher, who was dying of cancer, in the hospital, and saying, AS A POSITIVE, "She is looking SO SVELTE!"), in this case weight loss is the goal, it's a good thing, I've been clear on that, it's improving my health, so: yes, I have lost weight, I do look and feel better, thank you for noticing.

So, here's the next step. Here is me showing you my body. The pictures aren't designed to be flattering or unflattering. Just photos. Just factual.

No bra, no makeup. Just me. Just my body, as it is right now. Not where I want it to be. But maybe not so bad, either.

This is my face, complete with double chin, but also the first hints of a visible jawline.


This is my scar from my parathyroid surgery. And the beginnings of visible collarbones. And more of the double chin.


This is my hip. (And, unintentionally, my dog.)


This is my ass.


This is my belly, covered.


This is my belly, uncovered. These are my lap-band surgery scars.


Maybe these would be some people's "before" photos. Maybe this body is somebody's worst nightmare. But in this case, it's just me. Unvarnished.

53 comments:

  1. I'm so incredibly impressed with you - with your progress and your willingness to share it with the world. I don't throw the word "inspriring" around often, but this truly is.

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  2. I think you look amazing. Congratulations and good luck moving forward :)

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  3. I agree with Devon. It is so impressive to me not only how great you are looking, but also that you are willing to share the progress with us. Thank you.

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  4. Oh, Swistle said it best.

    But, I do know what you mean about comments about weight loss. I was about 30 pounds heavier in college and started losing the weight, completely unintentionally (I think it had to do with getting off birth control and living and walking in DC for a very hot summer) my senior year. People were always like, "You look so good!" and "OH! you've lost a LOT of weight." Such backhanded compliments. And then, there were the girls who were convinced I was "doing something," ie starving myself or working out all the time or purging, and wanted to know what it was. So weird.

    Anyway, long-winded way to say: Yes, weight loss is weird.

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  5. I really like seeing people's progress when they're losing weight; it's so inspirational. Thank you for sharing these - you look great.

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  6. You are an inspiration for the way we ought to look at ourselves and for the peace we need to get to a place in our lives that allows this clarity and peace. Would love for you to submit this to IndieInk, if you're comfy doing so. We need more like you to help us appreciate ourselves.

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  7. You're beautiful. And so brave. And so inspiring.

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  8. I love that you're sharing this, Jess.

    You are beautiful.

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  9. and I forgot to say I hate you. no bra and your boobs aren't touching your knees?

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  10. Very Brave Jess.

    Also, I just love a good ass shot.
    (just sayin)

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  11. I've never seen your profile before, I don't think! Or your hair pulled back! I liked both very much. :) But then I'm a big fan of the ponytail...
    Thanks for doing these pictures, and being so comfortable. If you can be fine with your lap band scars, I guess there's hope for me to one day STFU about my still very visible stretch marks and loose skin pouch from baby-having, huh? Most bellies aren't too glamorous, in the end, I suppose! But they can do some amazing stuff for us.

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  12. I think you're beautiful, and I'm so glad you feel comfortable sharing this.

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  13. It is clear to me that you are very comfortable with who you are. As you said, these could be some people's before photos, but they're your reality. Partially after, partially before. I love that you wore no make-up to show these photos are really you! And you know what else I love? The saggy bottomed jeans ... it's a great sign of where you've been, where you are now and where you're headed. I'm in awe! Makes these last 10 pounds I've been trying to lose look easy. =)

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  14. I'm so glad you posted these. So, so glad.

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  15. You rock it, honey!

    I'm so impressed with your honesty, bravery and your attitude!

    You're gorgeous! Thought that from the second I read your blog...confirmed the night I met you (when we going back to Steubens, btw?) and every single time I read your blog or we interact.

    So happy to have you in my life IRL!

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  16. I think your attitude about the whole thing makes you even more attractive. Positive begets positive!

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  17. I think you look fan-freaking-tastic and you are so brave. Way to be awesome.

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  18. I think you look great. I would like that green cami for myself... where can I find it? Also, those jeans are looking pretty loose on your ass. :)

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  19. Congratulations, Jess. You look great. Look at your little waist! You have always been so open with your journey, which I very much admire.

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  20. I hope that really, truly you are feeling good about yourself...you should be :) ENJOY the compliments, because you deserve them. You've worked hard.

    (I actually saw your goat pic on Facebook and said to Kev, wow it looks like Jess has lost a lot of weight since we last saw her and he asked if you ever put pics on your blog documenting the progress...timely!)

    And yes, we need to have dinner again soon!

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  21. I see you, and I see you as lovely and strong. My God, you are strong. I am so proud of you for everything you've gone through and how hard you're working.

    This reminds me that site - theshapeofamother.com. I like to visit when I'm feeling down and uninspired. I love seeing other beautiful women who aren't "perfect" by Hollywood standards (even though typing that pisses me off) - they inspire me, as do you.

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  22. Thanks for sharing this. That is all.

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  23. You are beautiful. Thank you for sharing your incredible journey with the world.

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  24. Good for you! It is totally weird but I LOVe the butt picture! It was a good angle or something.

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  25. You look great! Thanks for sharing your journey with all of us. You really are an inspiration!

    By the way, the color green looks great on you! =)

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  26. This is the best thing I have seen in a long time. You are beautiful in and out. Also, I love that top.

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  27. Aren't collar bones the best? You have such a pretty jaw line, I'm glad that you get to experience it!

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  28. Not sure why it just said that, but I was going for:

    You Rock! Don't you forget that!"

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  29. I am SO PROUD OF YOU.

    My mom lost weight years and years ago with Jenny Craig and she never got used to the compliments because she felt like it wasn't her. Now that she's had her surgery she's been going to support group meetings (I hope you are too!) and I think this time she feels like she's in her own skin.

    I think the key, with her at least, was having that support of other people going through the same thing but also I think she's happier this time around.

    You are looking healthier and healthier, lady. You deserve a big pat on the back.

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  30. I see you and appreciate you - just as you are.

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  31. I have body image compliment issues....it leads me to dark places. I have been practicing giving myself compliments (okay, that's lame - I know) and then responding to myself because that's really the person I'm seeking approval from. Not anyone else.

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  32. You are my biggest hero!!!! Really, I admire you beyond words. I wish I could be this brave about my body, right now I'm not in a healthy place, and it SO bothers me when people just keep saying that I look great. I'm underweight, clinically underweight, 15 pounds. That are impossible to gain when you are not hungry or have completely lost your apetite, and it might seem like the opposite of your goals, to me is just the same. Some people need to lose weight, some people need to gain weight.

    Thanks for posting this.

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  33. I have to delurk on this one.

    I never know what to say about body compliments directed at me. I never know what to say to others when I notice they've lost weight.

    I'm just glad and impressed and moved that you posted this.

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  34. I think you are awesome and brave and wonderful.

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  35. I think you're very brave to be sharing your progress, especially considering you don't normally enjoy talking about weight loss. I probably couldn't do it.

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  36. You're really brave and you've done a great work. I'm happy for you :)

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  37. Congratulations on getting closer and closer to your goal. I think that you're brave, because most people can't or won't be in such a place to make such a huge difference in their lives, myself included. Keep up the good attitude :)

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  38. This reminds me of that 'real beauty' campaign.

    Beautiful. Thank you.

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  39. Sorry to be late to this party. Just wanted to say: SO IMPRESSED WITH YOU.

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  40. Sorry to be late commenting, but I love that you're comfortable posting these. Great work and best wishes.

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  41. You are awesome and inspirational!! Congrats on the work that you have done so far and I look forward to seeing and hearing more of your progress!

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  42. An amazing & inspiring post! You look amazing! Thanks so much for sharing!

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  43. You are beautiful! Also - you have killer jaw-line, lady! :)

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  44. Jess you look great! I can't belive the difference in your pics from a year ago when you and Thorsten got married.

    I am 350 lbs and have been tempted to have the same procedure you had done. I am a believer.
    I always thought that it was all about how much food I put into my pie hole, but I am now convinced that I may need surgical help.

    God bless you and your trek towards healthyness.

    Renee LeGrand

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