Fat is not that bad

I've been thinking about something recently, something that seems really obvious to me and that probably everyone else would naturally agree with, except that based on small comments and actions, I'm not sure they really would agree. In fact I have no real perspective on this and no way of knowing if this is some sort of big revelation or more of an "oh duh" statement.

But here's the thing: being fat isn't the most terrible thing in the world. It isn't even close.

In a literal sense, of course that's true. Obviously, pretty much all of us would rather be fat than watch our loved ones be murdered or something equally horrifying.

But I'm talking on the level of personal problems, here. It seems that we would all do almost anything to avoid being fat. That we all have this horror of being fat. That we all think about it constantly and if we are fat, hate it, and if we aren't fat, try everything to avoid becoming fat and also beat ourselves up if we even get nearer to fat than we were before (i.e., gain a couple pounds).

And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. Clearly not. I mean, I just had freaking weight loss surgery and that is obviously all about not being fat anymore. Everyone has a weight they're comfortable with, and everyone wants to be healthy, and there's nothing at all wrong with trying to achieve those things. I support that.

And I will also be the first to admit that being fat does have a profound impact on your life. I think most of my readers know this, as I have written about it before (specifically here).

It sucks to be fat. Really, it does. And it sucks to be even just kind of overweight, and not actually fat. And I think that's why people get all up in arms about the use of the word "fat"--because we use it to describe such a broad spectrum of weights, that of course people who fall on the more extreme end of the spectrum don't appreciate it when the term is used to describe bodies that they could only dream of having.

But it's not the end of the world, being fat. It's not the end of the world weighing more than you'd like to weigh, period. Yes, it can be a problem, and yes, if your weight is a problem for you and your health or sense of well-being then I am all for trying to rectify that in a healthy way.

But we've taken our fear of fat too far. The hand-wringing about the "obesity epidemic"--especially considering that the numbers discussed in regards to the epidemic include people with a BMI in the low 30s, which is really not fat for a lot of people, because BMI is a very flawed statistic, and only very few people actually fall into the category of "morbidly obese," or into a category where their weight actually creates health concerns for them--is over the top.

But it's more than that. It's people refusing to be in photos with their children because they hate how they look because they think they weigh too much. It's people torturing themselves, beating themselves up because they think they need to lose weight. It's people creating huge mental angst for themselves or limiting what they think they can do based on concerns about their weight.

I see this all the time. And mostly it's from people who aren't even fat. They weigh more than they'd like to, sure, and some of them are overweight, and it's totally legit for all of them to be trying to lose weight and get to a size they're more comfortable with.

And I totally support that. I'm not saying that just because you're not as fat as I am, you don't have a right to be concerned about your weight. This isn't a game of relativity for me.

But what I am saying is that it makes me sad when people let their weight get in the way of their lives. No matter if they're morbidly obese or just a little bit above their comfort zone.

I'm saying that I am fat, truly fat, and I have been even fatter, and yet I am happy with my life. I do pretty much everything that I want to do. I've achieved goals that I've set for myself. I've had thoughts of oh, maybe I'm too fat to do that, or oh, maybe this person will be judging me when I meet them because I'm so fat, or oh, maybe I shouldn't post this picture on my blog because you can see my whole body and I'm so fat.

Of course I've had those thoughts. But then I've set aside the fat concerns and just done it anyway.

I met Torsten online. Of course I was afraid he'd think I was hideously fat when I met him in person, even though he'd seen photos of me. Of course I was incredibly nervous walking into the restaurant to meet him for the first time, that he would hate me or think I was hideous or pretend not to recognize me. And of course none of that happened. And of course it was worth forcing myself past my own fat hangups and taking the risk. And the reward has been amazing.

That's all I'm saying. It sucks to be fat and I'm glad I'm doing something about it. But, if you think you're fat or even just a little bit overweight or even not overweight but still weighing more than you're comfortable with--and so on--by all means, do something to fix it. But don't put everything else on hold until you get there.