I do not like it when my husband is out of town. It makes me feel grumpy and lonely ("lonely" being very distinct from "alone," the latter being a feeling that I enjoy on occasion). I KNOW it's psychological but it just feels so empty in here. All I can say is, thank god we have a dog. If it were literally just me in this house I might have to go check into a hotel or something.
And also, when Torsten is out of town I sleep sprawled diagonally across the bed in an attempt to take up as much space as possible. If only SOMEONE weren't adamant about not wanting the dog on the furniture I would totally be cuddling with Montana overnight. Too bad she sheds so much or I could totally get away with letting her sleep on the bed and Torsten would never find out.
I keep forgetting that he's not here. Last night I went to my water aerobics class. Normally when I do that Torsten also comes to the gym to work out and then after class he comes into the pool room and we soak in the hot tub for a few minutes before we go home. Last night after class I kept looking for him and then I remembered he wasn't coming and then I didn't want to go in the hot tub so I just left. I went to Blockbuster and rented Rachel Getting Married and went home and watched it while the dog snored in her bed next to me.
Having Torsten out of town is definitely a good opportunity to watch movies that he would never want to watch, and Rachel Getting Married fit the bill. Except... well, it turns out I didn't like it much either. And not just because I kept thinking about how much Torsten would hate it if he were watching it with me. I just... it dragged on for so long. It was like watching a home video of someone's wedding weekend. There were a couple interesting scenes but the rest was just blah blah blah OMG ENOUGH ALREADY.
Anne Hathaway is gorgeous, though. So that's something.
It just takes so long for time to go by when Torsten isn't here. Which is funny because in the macro sense time just flies by. It's been four whole months since my surgery, six months since we adopted Montana, seven months since we moved to Denver. But when I think about all the time stretching between now and Friday night it feels like we'll never get there.
Yesterday at the dog park I mentioned to a couple other dog owners that my husband was out of town, and somebody asked if I missed him when he was gone. I said yes and he said well, that was nice. Because if his girlfriend went out of town for a few days he would be thrilled.
Of course, they've been together for 15 years and we've only been married for 10 months, and I know the first bloom fades and so on. But oh, I hope I never feel that way about my husband. I hope and believe that after 15 and 30 and 50 years I will still miss him when he's away. And I believe he will still miss me too.
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Well, D and I have been together for 12 years and I still miss him when he's away. A lot!
ReplyDeleteBummer that the movie wasn't good.
Yeah, hubby and I have been together for ten years and I miss him when I'm away.
ReplyDeleteI also watched Rachel Getting Married when my boyfriend was out of town and didn't like it. I thought it felt too long and, honestly, too boring. It's sweet that you miss your husband and I'm sure he misses you a lot too. The guy at the dog park is either not in a happy relationship or was trying to be funny.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel re: lonely vs. alone. I don't even live with my boy and I feel more alone when he's not in town. As for Rachel Getting Married...I was not a huge fan. Although I do agree that Anne Hathaway is gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteTry to enjoy your "alone" time, and he'll be home soon and it will be even sweeter!
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ReplyDeleteI like Rachel Getting Married, actually.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for the distance thing, my girlfriend is currently two time zones away, and the earliest I may see her is December. Yeah, being apart sucks.
I like the opportunity to have the house to myself, but mostly I don't like it when my husband is away or even out for the night. I imagine all sorts of things and hear noises and am tempted to bring the baby into bed with me so I don't have to sleep alone!
ReplyDeleteI miss my husband when he's away...but I also love (luuuuuuuv) the alone time. Well, I guess that's if the kids are away, too, which NEVER happens.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, it's funny--I always think I'll watch the movies he doesn't want to watch (and there are tons of them, starting with anything by Woody Allen and moving on to anything remotely chick-flick-y, or set in a time when women wore big dresses, or Jane Austen movies)...but then I don't. Sometimes I'll even start watching a movie, distract myself by noticing all the things he would hate about it, and get bored and turn it off.
I find the only things I can really do when I'm alone are read, write, and, ah, complicated housework projects (woo-hoo! freedom! Now I can FINALLY wash the windows!)
Jess, I totally get what you mean. I have been with my boyfriend for only five months but I miss him whenever we are apart. I too hope that never fades. I have had other long term relationships and have even been married, but have never felt like I feel about my boyfriend. So keep missing your husband. It seems like a dying art these days.
ReplyDeleteI'm usually the one who goes out of town without Sweets. And while it's nice to have a short break, the more time that goes by, the more I miss him. In particular, I miss sharing all the (stupid) little things I know we both appreciate.
ReplyDeleteI think that if we didn't have kids, I would be ok with Hub being gone for a few days. I need him for survival though, and it kills me when he works several nights in a row, and I have to do bedtime solo.
ReplyDeleteWhen he was in CA last September for 5 days, I missed him, and was ready for him to be home sooner than he got there.
So glad you didn't love Rachel Getting Married. It was long, the cameras were stomach-turning and the scenes were awkward. That rehearsal dinner scene was like the longest, oddest scene in the history of the world.
ReplyDeleteYes, she's gorgeous, but no, that wasn't a good movie.
I enjoy time to myself when my husband is away (we've been together for 7 years) but I dont like it when we're apart for more than three nights. He is really good about ringing me every day and texting me good morning so it's hardly like he is gone (especially with a giant dog hogging his side of the bed).
ReplyDeleteWhen he gets home from work and I hear him coming to the door, my heart quickens and I feel a tiny thrill at the thought he is home again...that's what I'm hoping never fades.
I know exactly what you mean. And I watched Rachel Getting Married once when Mr. C was out late and I only watched like 1/4 of it before turning it off. It was just sort of "BLAH".
ReplyDeleteOh man I feel ya on this one. I usually like having the house to myself for a day or so, then night comes around and I get LONELY! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI was SO SURPRISED that I missed A. so much when he leaves for hunting/fishing trips. Wha?! This isn't me?!?
ReplyDeleteI do miss him. But, boy, do I revel in being by myself for a few days. But, I am always so, so glad to see him when he gets home.
Wish I was there to tool around the kitchen, make dinner with you and watch movies. It would be so fun!
Didn't like Rachel Getting Married either. We'd heard good things about it so Matthew and I watched it together. It dragged on like you said...blah blah. But Anne Hathaway was good in it. I thought the wedding scene was so contrived too.
ReplyDeleteI sure miss my husband when we're apart whether it is me that's gone or him. I hope I'll always miss him.
1. I love your post. I feel the same way when Achoo and I don't see each other for a few days. I hope that feeling never goes away.
ReplyDelete2. I hated Rachel Getting Married, too. I couldn't understand why random people were all over the house playing old pipes as instruments all the time.
Dear lord, I could not make it through Rachel Getting Married. Couldn't do it. And I usually endeavor to pull through with that sort of thing. eesh.
ReplyDeleteAs for someone leaving town? I won't lie, sometimes when Tony goes away (which has only ever been for a long weekend). I'm excited the first night and then I miss him terribly. I imagine it's harder for someone who works from home when both you and your partner do. During the day I'm easily busy and I can always find work to do, but coming home to an empty house, it gets lonely.
#1. My boyfriend [commonly reffered to as the honey on my blog, works from out of state sometimes and then works from home. I miss him a LOT when he's out of state, but when he's home 24/7 it's kinda like " when are you leaving again???"
ReplyDelete#2. Rachel Getting Married DOES suck, BIG time. I also saw it while he was away.
#3. I don't have a dog, or any pet as a matter of fact, and don't have any friends, nor do I know people around here. So, at least you're not THAAAT lonely ;)
Aww hope he's home soon.
ReplyDeleteI relate. My husband and I should probably branch out more but we are so content to do everything together and without others that it's like an arm is missing when we are apart.
The days just seem too long and I find in the morning I'm all "this isn't so bad" but by evening I am all lonely.
I know 2 couples who have been married for almost a decade, have moved several times, been through graduate school at different times, had kids, etc. and they STILL feel that spark, or whatever you want to call it. I have a feeling you'll still feel that way. I don't know you in person but from what you've written on this blog, I think you and Torsten have a very rare, special relationship. Yay for you!
ReplyDeleteI actually LOVED Rachel Getting Married. Every second of it. As evidenced by these comments it seems I'm in the minority! But I can see how people couldn't enjoy it.
I hope the rest of your week goes by quickly!
That movie annoyed the crap out of me. Especially because it COULD have been good without all the unnecessary bullshit.
ReplyDeleteHe seems to have to leave town quite a bit!
ReplyDeleteI'm a pretty independent woman, almost to a fault, and yet I have trouble sleeping if my husband is not in the bed with me.
Take care, hope the alone time goes by fast.
Jess!!
ReplyDeleteWanna come hang out at my house while I declutter and clean?? I know, super exciting huh :-)
Lemme know if you actually get bored enough to consider that :-)
I can't help smiling reading how much you miss him, it's really sweet.:)
ReplyDeleteI certainly do miss my husband when he's away, but I also very much enjoy the alone-time. Of course I love and miss him, but I do relish the opportunity to have the house to myself and catch up with friends. Hope the rest of the week passes quickly for you.
ReplyDeleteI didn't like Rachel Got Married either. BORING.
ReplyDeleteAfter 7 years I still miss my boyfriend badly when he's away, especially if it's a few days or more. An evening apart I can relish by watching a girly film, having a long bubble bath, or whatever. But if I know he still won't be there in the morning it's not fun at all.
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