Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The winds of change

I'm feeling a little restless. Not down, not blue, not depressed. I just want things to happen, I want to make them happen. And taking first steps toward that goal only whets my appetite. Browsing houses online just makes me want to apply for a mortgage, even though I know we're not there yet. Thinking about babies makes me want to purchase a tiny wardrobe and start picking names. Thinking about dogs makes me start viewing profiles on rescue group websites, and that can't lead anywhere pretty, at least not as long as we're living in a building that doesn't allow pets.

DC is feeling a little unsettled right now, too. The Obama family is moving in and inauguration preparation is well underway, and as a result there are more cops and secret service officers and motorcades around than usual. Apparently on inauguration day it is advised that nobody try to go anywhere; the crowds are expected to be astronomical, most bridges into the city will be closed to all but official traffic, and the lines for the metro are allegedly going to be hours long. Of course, we have a four-day weekend thanks to Martin Luther King Day and Inauguration Day being back to back. So, we have the option of braving the airports and getting the hell out of town (but going where?) or just holing ourselves up in the apartment for five days and pretending we're snowed in.

Perhaps it is easier to face, even embrace change because I have Torsten by my side. He is a constant, he is the most important thing, he means that nothing will ever utterly change because he will always be here and I will always be here with him. And so everything else isn't as scary because it isn't just me anymore, dealing with it all.

The city matches my mood. Restless, waiting for change, waiting for things to happen. The things aren't nameless, they are specific, but they aren't here yet. I want them to start. I am impatient. I want answers. I want movement. I am pushing and I want someone to push back.

29 comments:

  1. That is a really exciting way to feel. If you start pushing, something will push back.

    PS. Sooo jealous you live in DC right now. It sounds exciting.

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  2. I vote for holing yourself up in the apartment. We lived in DC for a bit and I can't imagine dealing with crowds like the one coming in for the inauguration. Cherry blossom season is bad enough.

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  3. I always have to have a project, vacation or "happening" [like buying our house] to look forward to...otherwise I drive myself crazy! The dog thing is my current obsession.

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  4. I would love to be in DC right now! My stepsister and her bf live very close by in VA. They rented out their house for an astronomical amount and are coming to stay with us for the long weekend.

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  5. I'd definitely get out of town and rent out your apartment for a billion dollars! Okay that's an exaggeration, but people are going crazy with this whole inauguration thing. I love Obama, but there's no way in hell I'm getting anywhere near DC.

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  6. I so remember these feelings - I was SO restless after my wedding, too. I'd been anticipating that change for so long that I was left with a BIG "anticipation hole" when it was all over.

    It is such an exciting time in your lives. Enjoy each other. Go ahead and talk about names, make plans, dream about the future. It's all in front of you - there is nothing more beautiful than that!

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  7. This is why I hate January. It always feels like the beginning of the end for me. Plus taxes blow :)

    I'd love to be in the atmosphere of the inauguration. Especially this one. It just seems so exciting!

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  8. Now that the Obamas have left Hyde Park it feels so empty and quiet here. No secret service, no police, no motorcades, no helicopters. Although I'm terribly excited for him to be inaugurated already, I miss it. Take good care of my former neighbors! And...maybe this weekend is the perfect weekend to start on your pile of papers you want to organize and file. Not that that sounds terribly fun...you'll figure out something fun to do. Good luck braving the crowds!

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  9. Even as that is a frustrating feeling - it also has to be an exhilarating one. You're on the brink of so much!

    I think holing up in the apartment for a little while is a good idea, you can incubate these ideas until the spring and then get doing = )

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  10. I am very excited for the two of you. You put a lot on hold to plan your wedding and now you get to move forward with your life plans. Sounds like 2009 is the year of change for our nation ... and for you, too. Fingers crossed for you, girl!

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  11. I always feel restless in the winter, just waiting for the springtime.

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  12. I like how you compare your own restlessness with that of the city you live in. I can't imagine how D.C. will be with the throngs of people descending upon it. When's the last time there was so much excitement and energy around a change in office? That people took time off work to come to the inauguration? I can't recall. Maybe not in my lifetime? And you can say you were there!

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  13. I call this the January blahs. I always get them, even if I don't live somewhere with cold weather. It is just a let down kind of month where you are sort of stuck in the middle.

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  14. I think staying put is the best option. :-) You guys are still honeymooning anyways right? You could always have some friends over and watch it on t.v. I am excited for that special day! Change will be good, and it is needed as fast as possible.

    It is good to dream....

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  15. I'm feeling a bit restless too. We also have dreams of houses and babies in our head but none of that is happening right this moment and the whole waiting thing is killing me!

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  16. Don't you have to work during those 5 days?

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  17. ha, i'm doing the complete oppostite: i'm taking the day off work and making my way downtown if at all possible. i want to be THERE, right in the thick of things. i want to say i was outside the white house the day obama was inaugurated :-)

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  18. I'm in that exact same boat. Change is afoot, and I'm not talking seasons.

    Yay you that you're going forward and not wanting to run back.

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  19. On one hand it's an exciting time to be in DC, on the other hand - who doesn't love a vacation?! I'd go somewhere fun for a nice long weeked. :)

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  20. I'm restless too. Bored and extremely restless and know that I NEED to do *something* soon.

    But what?

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  21. One of the things I miss most about living in DC is the energy that the city feels. I never worked in politics while there, but I was still caught up in the life and vibrancy that politics lends to the city. I would vote for going out and wandering amongst the crowd (and take good pictures) but also having some good "in house" projects that you can retreat to when you're ready to go home.

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  22. I am definitely using that 4-day weekend to cook foods I've never cooked before and watch a TON of movies.

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  23. I know how that feeling is - we just got home from our Christmas vacation today and I'm so so glad to be back and ready to get things DONE!

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  24. Go to Florida!!!! Well, that's what I'd do.

    I've been feeling restless lately too...even though I spent most of last year being restless to get where I am now. Ambition makes enjoying the moment difficult.

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  25. Maybe you guys should go away for a bit? It would feel like a vacation

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  26. Oh I heard people are trying to rent apartments since hotels are sold out... you guys should take off for the weekend and rent out your place on craigslist for a crapload of coin!

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  27. There is definitely such a thing as Post-Wedding-Blues.

    You've just spent months being Go!-Go!-Go! on all of the exciting planning, picking, and preparing - winding up, anticipating, hoping - and BAM!

    It's all over in a flash!

    ...and real life can look rather dull afterwards. Pick out some fun things to do, or a project to get excited about, and you'll get it back. :)

    ...it also helps when you get all of your photos back!

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  28. What is it about this time of year anyway? We're feeling a somewhat similar restlessness around here too. Waiting for things we have no control over whatever and a much-anticipated phone call last week left us with more questions than resolution. Just get on with it already, we say!

    And really, you're newlyweds, do you have to wonder what you could be doing to fill a five-day weekend?

    Filing, of course. ;)

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  29. I find I feel restless every time something Big is over: a wedding, a birth, Christmas.

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