Fashion police, party of one

I'm not sure what it is about fashion that makes us always think that what's trendy now is so much better than the hideous things that were in style 10 years earlier. We laugh at clothes from the 60s, 70s, and 80s--and yet some of the stuff we wear now is just ridiculous.

I experienced a brief respite from this feeling maybe five years ago. I don't exactly have my finger on the pulse of the fashion world, but it seemed like structure was in--fitted jackets, neatly tailored skirts, etc. At the time, I remember thinking that fashion was, for once, REASONABLE--and then wondering if I would look back five years later and scorn myself for ever thinking that those clothes were timeless.

But actually, now it's five years later and I DON'T feel like those clothes were ridiculous. But I do think that a lot of what's in fashion now is the kind of thing that we're going to be cringing at in a decade or so. I was just reading Glamour and looking at the fashion spreads and reading the advice about how to pull off the latest looks--and I seriously could not keep myself from wincing as I looked.

Part of the problem, I think, is that we're swinging back in the direction of more is more. A recent issue of Glamour informed me that no longer is it about playing up one feature on your face with makeup and going subtle everywhere else. Why NOT pair fuschia lips with metallic green eye shadow and bright gold blush? it demanded. I looked at the accompanying photo of the model painted like a clown and thought, That's why not.

And it's not just the makeup. Flowy tops are one thing when paired with a nicely cut pair of jeans. But with a poufy skirt, a textured jacket, a giant belt, slouchy knee-high boots, a jeweled headband, a statement necklace, and patterned tights? Well, as far as I'm concerned, that spells overkill.

Maybe I'm just hopelessly unfashionable, but I cannot get on board with gladiator sandals, five-inch patent leather platform heels, cascading ruffles, or blinding combinations of colors and patterns. And the worst part is that there's no moderation--to listen to the fashion magazines, we should be wearing all of this stuff AT THE SAME TIME. There's no more statement piece--it's a statement OUTFIT. And it's blinding.

I just get the feeling recently that when our kids look at photos of us arranged in the latest fashions, they will laugh until they cry. It's like the eighties all over again.

So tell me, what's YOUR least favorite fashion trend of the moment? Or do you think that I'm totally wrong and the current styles are just the best thing ever?