Three months

So, now that it's August, our wedding is exactly three months away. And can I just say that I'm starting to feel the pinch? For the most part I'm calm and relaxed about things, but we're at that point now where every weekend contains multiple wedding tasks, and some weeknights, too.

A whole bunch of my friends have moved since we sent the dates, or might move in the next month, which makes addressing invitations difficult. Not that the invitations are assembled yet, or even printed for that matter, and yes we do have to send them out this month.

I bought the ribbon for the cake, but I still have to send it to the baker, along with the topper and the photo of the design. I picked out the candles that I want for the centerpieces, but I'm holding off on ordering them until I get a confirmation from the venue that open flames are allowed, and even though I sent an email about that on Monday, I have yet to hear back. And once I have the candles ordered, I still have to figure out what in the hell we're going to do about holders for them.

We haven't ordered the tux yet, or even picked a style. We keep meaning to just suck it up and go to Men's Wearhouse, but as of yet it hasn't happened. But I swear, this weekend is the weekend. We are really going this time, damn it. And we also have to find the perfect purple tie for Torsten and the groomsmen--purple, but still classy and not outrageous. Let's just hope that such a thing exists.

We haven't written our vows yet, or the ceremony. I've had the packet that our officiant gave us to help us get started sitting on the coffee table for over a month, just waiting for us to pick it up and have at it. We haven't picked a reading yet. We still haven't figured out if any of our friends can sing well enough to perform during the ceremony.

I was going to name the tables after different shades of purple, but now it's looking like there are going to be more guests than initially expected (which: double-edged sword, because increased cost on the one hand, but the fact that people we care about will be in attendance on the other hand), which means more tables than I was thinking, and I've run out of ideas for shades of purple, plus the idea of making table cards is stressful to me. Now I'm thinking about going with table numbers instead of names and buying house numbers at Home Depot or somewhere. That would look cool AND be simple.

We still haven't arranged the rehearsal dinner. I know I need to call the restaurant, but I'm really dreading it because I'm sure it's going to be a hellish conversation. We're doing it at a little hole-in-the-wall Thai restaurant where none of the employees speaks English, they have probably never even heard of a rehearsal dinner, and trying to figure out if they can give us a fixed-price family-style meal instead of serving us a la carte is going to be impossible.

Speaking of meals, we're thinking of having some sort of post-wedding brunch, but I don't know how to set it up. Where will we do it? Who will we invite? We can't afford to pay for it, so how do we invite people to it while politely expressing that everyone will be paying their own way? How do we know in advance how many people will be attending? How do we make reservations? Do we invite every single wedding guest? If not, how do we keep people from being offended?

The little to-do list on The Knot is starting to show lots of items with exclamation points next to them, indicating that it thinks we should have done them already. Most of them are things that are nearly done, or that we're in the process of doing, and also I've already checked a lot of things off the list that The Knot didn't have scheduled for another month, but still: the sight of all those little exclamation points is driving me a little batty. Even though they're purple.

Things that we're thinking of skipping altogether: Programs. Pew decorations. Menu cards. Any kind of unity ritual during the ceremony. Out of town bags.

Things we're definitely skipping altogether: Bouquet toss. Garter toss. Videographer. Limo. Receiving line. Bridal portraits. Freezing the top tier of our cake. Calligraphy. Ring bearer. Flower girl.

Except that suddenly I've decided I want an aisle strewn with petals, and how to arrange that except by having someone walk ahead of me, scattering them? DAMN IT. It just never ends.

On the plus side, we recently received our first gift, which was fun! And it forced me to pick out and order our thank-you notes. I love them, even though they don't actually say "thank you" on them (they're just blank). But aren't they beautiful?

Just looking at the pretty tulips is soothing, I think. It's another item crossed off the to-do list, and a helpful reminder: one thing at a time. Eventually it WILL all get done.