Monday, July 21, 2008

Ill-fitting

Hi! I'm not really here today! I'm over at Nilsa's place while she's off in Cape Cod, relaxing in the sea breeze and making those of us who are enduring yet another insufferable heat wave mute with jealousy. Over there, I'm regaling you with a tale of having my private bits manhandled by a be-perfumed, middle aged French lady, all in the name of finally owning AT LEAST ONE BRA that fits me correctly.

Oh, and speaking of things fitting poorly, want to know what I discovered the other day? I was looking down at my feet, which were adorned with my favorite Reef flip flops? The ones I bought ages ago? And suddenly I noticed that they are way, WAY too big. The ends stick out more than an inch past my heel, and my foot sits in them at an angle because the shoe is just not the right size for my foot. Want to know what the problem was? Well, I bought the correct size--except I bought it in MEN'S SIZING, not women's. And yes, it did take me OVER A YEAR to figure this out.

In sum, I am really, really cool. So, go read all about my boobs! But first, while you're here? Make me feel better: tell me about something dumb that you've done recently. Seriously, come on now. I can't be the only one!

23 comments:

  1. Last Friday, at about 9:30, I realized I had had my sandals on the wrong feet for more than 2 hours. Umm, yeah.

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  2. 1) Two weeks ago, in full daylight, on a street that I have been walking on for over sixteen years, I walked, at fullspeed, into the side of a building. I still have the bruises.

    2) Two days ago, while doing laundry, I hit my head on the coin-injector (?) hard enough to CUT MY FACE.

    You should feel very fine about your sandals.

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  3. while losing weight, did you ever notice your shoes didnt fit anymore? not necessarily in length of the shoe, but in how loose fitting it seemed? one of my fav pairs of shoes (high heels) that I used to wear with reckless abandon, are now loose from losing some weight. ...just wondering if anyone else experiences this. :)

    happy monday!

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  4. Not recent, but when backpacking through Europe, I noticed about a month in that my shoes were not a matched set - one was white canvas, the other white leather... both had a pretty blue swoosh though.

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  5. In my next post you will read about how I thought I spilt beer on my arm at a bar, and went to go lick it off, only to discover it wasn't beer.

    Grossssss

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  6. I'm sure I've done plenty of stupid things recently (and not-so-recently), but oddly, none of them come to mind right now. (I've pushed them out of my memory, obviously.)

    Did you know Reef makes flip flops with a bottle opener in the sole, and also a style with flasks in the sole? Maybe the flask on the men's version is bigger than the one on the women's, so it was totally a smart move on your part! :-)

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  7. I think my dumb moment would have to be recently. I was talking to a girlfriend about how I NEEDED to get my hair professionally dyed because store-bought dyes would fade in a month. Then, I realized I was buying semi-permanent hair dye. That washes out in 30 washes. Oops!

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  8. First off, I was sober. Totally sober. But! I was distracted, talking with friends, drinking coffee... no, pouring coffee down the front of myself because I was talking as I brought the cup to my lips and tipped it just a little bit too much...

    There was more spillage, because we were all laughing and reaching for napkins at the same time.

    Yeah, and all this happened in a restaurant. Coffee all over my shirt, in public... fun times.

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  9. This weekend, I was at a conference with a group of friends. We walk in the hotel after dinner. Six ladies in front of me. Each one says, "watch the carpet here, don't trip". I heard the warning all six times. But do I truly pay attention? Of course not!! Instead, I go flailing right over the little lump in the carpet and smack into the wall. So goes my life.

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  10. A few weeks ago, I was at the hospital visiting a friend and could not find my car in the parking garage when I left. I started hitting the alarm button on the key remote thing hoping it would lead me to the car. I could HEAR the car alarm but I still couldn't find my car. Finally realized my car was parked one level up above where I was looking.

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  11. I bought a sweater from Aeropostale and it took me a year to realize the reason it was OVER-SIZED (for a medium) and fit funny was because it was a MENS. Doh.

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  12. I somehow managed to smear sweet and sour sauce on my tan skirt at a wedding reception... yet I had a napkin on my lap. Nothing can stop my clumsiness.

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  13. You know that commercial where a man checks his watch while holding a cup of coffee, so he spills coffee on himself? I did that. Luckily, the cup was (1) almost empty and (2) almost cold.

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  14. i just found your blog today. i love it. something really dumb that i just did: i was driving west along p st, listening to music on the way to a meeting at a place i go to all the time. i completely zoned out. i was supposed to turn down 7th street and the next think i knew, i was almost in georgetown. a good twenty blocks past where i was headed. i was late to my meeting with no good excuse other than i'm an airhead.

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  15. Yesterday I made someone cry and it was a total accident and made me feel awful. It was a dumb comment I made not thinking.

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  16. Boy have I ever. But I'll save those stories for another time. Just glad to know I'm not the only one hooked on Reefs... I have had the same kind for three summers straight- I stock up annually. It's an addiction.

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  17. On Saturday I bought 5lb hand weights at Target. Two of them. And since they were the first thing I picked up, I carried them with me while I meandered, family-circus-style, all over the store. The next day my arms were so sore!

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  18. I fell off of a booth at Chili's. And I wasn't even drunk. Gave myself a huge goose egg bump on my forehead, which in turn, gave me a huge black eye just days before I had to travel out of the country. GOOD TIMES!

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  19. i wore two different shoes to work
    both peep toe, black kitten heels
    one sparkled. one didn't.

    go me!

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  20. When I was at DFW before leaving for BlogHer, I stepped into a giant puddle. I didn't actually fall down- I did the sliding step on to my knee. And I have a giant bruise to remember it by.

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  21. Sorry, there are too many dumb moments to narrow it down to just one.

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  22. here goes! after

    a) spraining my ankle while dancing drunk in 3 inch heels last weekend in chicago, i
    b) continued dancing, and
    c) ultimately walked home to the hotel. on the huge swollen ankle. then
    d) continued to wear heels the next day (it was a conference! i didn't bring anything else!) and
    e) went out dancing AGAIN the next night.
    f) and the next night. also that night,
    e) i chose to give a large, ripped man a piggyback ride.
    f) in 3 inch heels.
    g) and a sprained ankle.

    sigh.

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  23. stefanie - my boyfriend has BOTH PAIRS of those reefs.

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