Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Retail therapy

I am a planner, what some might call a go-getter. If I decide that I want something to happen, I do everything in my power to make it happen. It's not so much optimism as it is dogged determination (some unfriendly people call it stubbornness or even worse, but I like to think of it as admirable tenacity).

I do not think that I'm a control freak--I have just enough of the laid-back about me to save me from turning into Monica from Friends. I know that my wedding will not be a paragon of perfect event execution, and I'm okay with that. I can deal with plans changing and I'm pretty flexible.

But if something is out of my control and it's something that I care desperately about, it drives me CRAZY that there isn't anything I can do about it. People who don't go after what they want make me insane with fury. People who shrug and dismiss losses as bad luck, or an inherent personality trait, make me seethe. I mean, I don't hate people who have a more laissez-faire attitude than I do, but I find it very difficult to comprehend, and I find it exceptionally infuriating when someone else's casual attitude affects my life in some way.

In Senegal, for example, many people are fans of the Arabic word inshallah, which means "God willing." On the one hand, I admire this attitude. It's relaxed, it's not too control freak, it's a nod to the fact that we can't determine the outcomes of everything in our lives. I appreciate that attitude. But I did not appreciate it when I was living in Senegal and inshallah was an excuse. "I'll have your grades sent back to your university early enough to make sure you pass into your senior year... inshallah." "I'll meet you at the agreed-upon time... inshallah." In other words, if I'm late, or I don't come through for you, don't blame me. It drove me NUTS.

Wow, this post has turned into some serious navel gazing. I actually had a POINT here, once upon a time, which is that I deal with not always being able to get what I want by obsessively planning for such a time when I WILL have what I want. I have to forcibly restrain myself from purchasing adorable little baby clothing (and sometimes I don't succeed). I started applying for jobs in December of my senior year of college. I went apartment hunting two full months before I was ready to move in. I peruse real estate listings even though I know it will be at least a year before we can buy a house. I make lists of things I want to remember, like oh, a house with a bay window would be nice, and email them to myself.

Unfortunately, sometimes those things aren't enough, and when I am impatiently waiting for something to happen, and know that it probably isn't going to happen for at least a little while longer, I have to find ways to keep myself occupied. And sometimes those methods involve shopping. Oops. But look how cute:




And one of the perks of this particular bout of one-click shopping? I have lost so much weight since last summer that I legitimately needed new summer clothes.

42 comments:

getdone said...

congrats on the weight loss. i love love love that skirt.

Kristen said...

retail therapy is sometimes needed. like you, i need all new summer clothes, but that is because my belly keeps growing. :)

Rebecca said...

I have been splurging a bit too lately. I stick to cheapo old navy though so I don't feel bad. I love the first top!

S said...

I adore the tops. Where are they from?

Tessie said...

LOVE the clothes.

It's funny, I do consider myself extremely laid-back, but if I think about it, I HAVE made most of the things I wanted in life happen. So I must have tried hard SOMEWHERE along the way.

I think it's more that I'm extremely selective about the things I am and am not interested in trying for.

Catharina said...

I have to say I admire that ability to look ahead and have the desire to plan. I mean, I like planning ahead, but I am terrible at actually doing it. If I may steal your example for a sec, if I'd be graduating, I'd start thinking I should really send out job applications in December (like you), but by the time I actually get around to doing it, WHOOPS, it's may (or something like that).

Congratulations on the weight loss and the cute new clothes!

distractedspunk said...

You make me want to do a bit of retail therapy myself. Even though I have nothing to pay for it with, as I am poor.

But. I do get the planning ahead. I occasionally browse the craigslist listings to see if there are any sublets in Manhattan for the fall because I won't be able to commute from my parents when I'm back in school full time. Yaaahhhh.

Jennie said...

Weird - my friend Katie just wrote about that word yesterday on her blog. She lives in Afghanistan.

"Inshallah - "God willing" This phrase is used all the time in this culture, so it's almost cliche. Most of the time when it is used, it's because someone doesn't really want to commit."

Love the cute clothes!!

Erin said...

We're so alike. :) Want something to happen=work to make it happen for ourselves. While I can take a certain degree of "god willing"ness, the thing that drives me up the wall is when someone wants something, does next to nothing to make it happen and then bitches about how they didn't get what they wanted and how life isn't fair.

Oh, that I had the $$ for retail therapy--I'm pretty sure our apartment would be decorated by now. :) (or not, I have decorating phobia)

Alice said...

see, if you NEED the clothes, it doesn't even COUNT as splurging! you had no CHOICE. you were FORCED to shop :-)

Pickles & Dimes said...

Great post. I totally get what you're saying, only you described it so much better than I could have ever dreamed of doing.

Also? If that black top of yours goes missing? I totally stole it.

Hiya, I'm Kristie. said...

It's always a great thing to be able to buy clothes because you lost weight. That's awesome!

LoriD said...

Love the new clothes, especially that balck top. I think we have similar personalities.

Christina said...

There is nothing like retail therapy.

Love the outfit, very cute.

Akimbo said...

Hi
Lurker here. Love your blog and LOVE that black top. Seriously, where is that from?

(By the way, way to go on that weight loss! Keep on keepin' on sista).

Maxie said...

I love retail therapy-- for me it works better than regular therapy and it's cheaper, lol

Saly said...

Ooooh, I love that 1st top. PRETTY!

I am laid back, very laid back, but I firmly believe that whatever happens is my own fault and was more than likely in my control.

Jess said...

I love it! And the black shirt is awesome! You really are a go getter. After finishing the post I thought, self you need to kick yourself in the ass more often.

srah said...

You tease us with these cute clothes, then don't tell us where we can buy them?! *cries*

JMC said...

LOVE that black shirt! WANT that black shirt! Even though I've never worn anything in the style of that black shirt IN MY LIFE, I will CHANGE for that black shirt. Where can I buy it?

Fine For Now said...

How Exciting! I love both of those shirts :o)

Larissa said...

Yay for needing new (slimmer) clothes. I'm about to go swimsuit shopping myself.

And I wish I had more of the inshallah attitude too. My need to control things is so unhealthy.

fairydogmother said...

I love it when necessary shopping can double as retail therapy. Also, it looks like that first top and the skirt would be an adorable combination.

Funny, I almost bought the second top recently. So cute and summery!

lfar said...

I ADOOOORE that black top!

Nic said...

I really like that black top. Where is it from? I think I might need that

Sandy said...

Congrats on the weight loss!! =)
And also, that black top? Ohh my goodness, I want it!

Ashley D said...

Such cute clothes! I love it!

d e v a n said...

Cute! Love the clothes. Enjoy them.

Ashley said...

retail therapy is by far the best thing ever.

And i am EXACTLY the same way. I am not that big of a control freak but i have issues when things are not in my control.

Anna said...

Yay you and yay shopping!
Just did a little myself...

Penny said...

Awesome! About the weight AND The cool clothes. That first top leaves me drooling.

bren j. said...

LOVE that first top - where's it from? Lucky you for losing weight AND getting new clothes!

SLynnRo said...

I looooooooooooove that first top!

L Sass said...

Despite having a lot of neurotic personal habits, I think I get more and more flexible with other people and "not worth trying to control" situations.

Inshallah.

I love the clothes! Best reason ever to shop!

Alison said...

so after a million people ask you where the clothes are from, are you going to do an update and tell us? and if not, can I get some sister privilege and you can just tell me? :-) they are super cute...!

seven said...

That first top is too cute. Nothing better than new clothes because your old ones are too big. Congratulations... I'm so proud of you.

Mel said...

Where did you get the skirt from?

Vanessa said...

Great skirt! New clothes *feel* so good!

kilax said...

So cute!

I had how lazy my sister is. She expects work to be handed to her. Then acts all pissy because she has a shitty job. Well duh...

Stefanie said...

So cute! I totally want to know where you got that black top, except that I have a feeling it would not work with my chest anyway. :-(

the frog princess said...

OMG, I *want* that black shirt!! Where did you get it??

cady said...

those are so cute! i especially love the first top. it's fabulous!