Isn't it supposed to be the man in the relationship who forgets anniversaries or doesn't think to celebrate them? And the woman who thinks anniversaries are important and complains about how the man doesn't take them seriously enough? And isn't that the real reason why people get their wedding dates engraved on their rings? So the man can always check to see when the anniversary is?
I mean, I know, gender stereotypes and whatnot, but that is SO not the case in our relationship. Last night Torsten was pointing out that soon (and by "soon" he meant "in about three months") it will be the one-year anniversary of our engagement. And then I tried to tell him that once we're married, all past anniversaries (dating, moving in together, engagement, etc.) are abandoned in favor of November 1, the Official Wedding Anniversary.
To be frank, I was feeling kind of RELIEVED about that. Having three anniversaries to celebrate is really just excessive, and also kind of a pain to remember. Throw in the fact that Torsten likes to celebrate the anniversary of us dating MONTHLY instead of YEARLY, and it seems like it's our anniversary more often than not. Luckily, he has toned down most of his celebratory practices from flowers and dinner out to a comment of, "Hey, it's our anniversary! Cool!"
Unless, of course, it's a significant anniversary, like a year or something. THEN we pull out all the stops. By which I mean, last year we went on a dinner cruise and this year we are thinking about going to a steakhouse, because we really want to go and are looking for an excuse to justify the expense.
ANYWAY. My damn point is, I presented to Torsten the idea that our wedding anniversary won't just be the next in a long line of anniversaries that we'll be celebrating for the rest of our lives, but instead an opportunity to wipe the anniversary slate clean and get rid of all those silly wannabe anniversaries in favor of the one big one. And he was totally, TOTALLY not on board with that. In fact, his face almost crumpled with the horror of the idea, to the point where I had to immediately back down so as not to cause permanent emotional damages.
So, it looks like much to Torsten's delight (and my chagrin), once we're married we will have anniversaries to celebrate in June, July, October, and November (plus on the 1st, 7th, 18th, and 28th of every month). Plus probably a couple others that I'm not thinking of at the moment that must be permanently etched on Torsten's brain. And I can't even IMAGINE how many little anniversaries we'll be celebrating by the time we've been married for forty years.
What about you? How many anniversaries do you celebrate with your significant other? What are they? Which one of you is more into the whole anniversary celebrating thing?
In other news: three weeks until our 20-month anniversary! I can't WAIT!
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14 years ago
WAIT - you guys haven't even been together two years?! AHH!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, that is a crapload of anniversaries to celebrate. I think I'm good to go with just one because I always want to do something special for Mark and if I had to do something four different times of the year!? I would have to quit my full-time job.
So, happy 20 month anniversary in 3 weeks!
Oh man, I would NOT be able to remember all those. I would have to have my Google calendar send me text messages to remind me, and the idea of it is stressing me out already.
ReplyDeleteWow! Talk about anniversary overload!
ReplyDeleteSo far I've managed to avoid relationships (can you hear my emotional retardation shining through?), but from the way I cannot remember anyone's birthday, I think I'd definitely be the one going 'Our anniversary? Yes, of course I remembered! Umm, just give me a minute...' ;-)
Good luck with all the celebrating ;-)
Yah, we are totally like that too - Ryan remembers anniversaries and I'm like "Oh, it was our 3 year anniversary last week?! How time flies!" Oops. We don't celebrate any anniversaries except dating, although I fully intend to replace it with wedding in 3 weeks!
ReplyDeleteps. 3 weeks!? Eeek!
i'm just as bad at remembering dates. i have girlfriends who remember the date that he first kissed them. me???? not at all.
ReplyDeletewhoa. that IS alot of anniversaries to remember! personally, I'm not much of a 'anniversary' person except for the yearly ones, although it is always nice to find a reason to celebrate things! :)
ReplyDeleteWe celebrate one. December 10 - thats the year anniv. Dave has enough trouble remembering that!
ReplyDeleteWow. That's a lot of anniversaries. M & I actually don't celebrate any. We're not even sure when we're going to hit the first year mark because things just sort of happened. There was no one day to mark everything. Don't be sad, we're actually really happy about that because we're not the type to feel like celebrating anniversaries (well except birthday which I'm personally crazy about!).
ReplyDeletehee... i think it's very sweet that he remembers and cares. although DANG i'd suck at actually remembering any of those myself.
ReplyDeletei'm always surprised when a guy is aware of any of that AT ALL. i'm pretty bad at remembering when first dates occurred - i found out recently that i considered the "start" of a relationship w/an ex the night we, uh, Consumated Things, and he actually remembered what day we first KISSED. i mean, i remember the event, but the DATE? hells no. honestly, the only reason i remember the Other Date is because it happened at a party that i had christened the Thorth of July BBQ since it spanned 2 days (3rd and 4th of july. clever!)
Torsten sounds like a romantic. :)
ReplyDeleteWe celebrate 2: our dating anniversary (in Feb) and our wedding anniversary (in Oct). :)
I LOVE anniversaries! But I only celebrate them on the one year mark. Torsten sounds like such a sweetie pie :)
ReplyDeletewow, that is a lot of celebrating! we actually don't celebrate any anniversaries. we used to go out to dinner on each 17th of the month when we dated in high school, but we don't really have an official start date of our new relationship. as long as he remembers the main holidays and my birthday i'm ok with it!
ReplyDeleteI'm a big believer in celebrating monthiversaries, but that's not really shocking news. It's mostly just because I'm greedy and I like presents.
ReplyDeleteWell, if you celebrate the 18th of every month, you will be celebrating my (wedding!) anniversary, too. That is, once November rolls around!!
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, though, we don't really celebrate any anniversaries at this point. We celebrate our first date (over Labor Day weekend) and we're looking forward to our wedding date. Sweets is definitely more into the anniversary thing than I am, though he's taken my lead and toned it down over the years.
BTW, I find writing important dates down in my calendar to be helpful. Why not come up with a Circle, Star, Square, etc. notation for each of your anniversaries! Not that you have to celebrate them, but you won't be all that surprised when Torsten does!!
We don't celebrate an anniversary at all, because our first "date" wasn't, ahem, a date at all. And I have no idea when we met. I recognize the date of our first, umm, "date," but HOM has no idea. So I look forward to having a wedding anniversary.
ReplyDeleteWe celebrated our dating anniversary until we got married (date engraved in band, but he doesnt forget coz it's one week into each year) and now we only celebrate wedding anniversary but I usually mention it when another year together ticks by.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are too cute! I kind of wish that we celebrated anniversaries. On our 1 year, G and I didn't even acknowledge the day. Kind of sad, but we just don't think much about that kind of thing.
ReplyDeleteI find this to be hilarious. & also, ugh! That's too many dates for me, not to mention to much stress and pressure to remember all said dates.
ReplyDeleteWe sort of acknowledge the date we met ("oh look, we've known each other XX years now"). The only date we actually celebrate is our wedding.
So, yeah, good luck with this.
We celebrate our wedding anniversary, obviously, which was yesterday. We always used to celebrate our first date anniversary, which was on Halloween, and we always went out for dinner and a movie, which had ironic significance, because our entire first year together, we never went to dinner and a movie. We no longer celebrate Halloween as an anniversary, because that's more of a day for our son to celebrate now.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot of anniversaries to remember! We did monthly celebrations the first 6 months then they tapered off. I figure the year one will be big. Hell, I'm just excited I found someone I don't want to break up with after 3 months (my norm). :)
ReplyDeleteI think it is rather cute that Torsten wants to celebrate so much.
Wow, that is a lot of anniversaries. But it's cute how he remembers them all!
ReplyDeleteWe celebrate one, our anniversary in November. When we get married in a few months, it'll be weird not to celebrate on the date we've been celebrating for the last 8 years!
I laughed LITERALLY OUT LOUD at this post. Several times, but especially when you were listing the days EACH MONTH that would need to be celebrated.
ReplyDeleteWe celebrate our wedding anniversary, but I think I usually comment on it when we pass our moving-in-together and started-dating anniversaries. I just realized I don't actually know our Engagement Anniversary.
Oh man... good luck with all those dates! Thank god I decided celebrating too many dates would only reinforce him to not remember anything! Aahha I'm sure as time goes on it will be more of a "oh, you know what today is..."
ReplyDeleteHoly Moly - You had better invest in a serious calendar software that allows you pre-program all of those dates and meanings and will send you reminders what looks like on a daily basis, YIKES!
ReplyDeleteWe only celebrate our wedding anniversary and after you've been married as long as us, celebrating means just saying 'Happy Anniversary'. That is if we remember... Dinner out, yes. Gifts, cards, etc. - not so much unless it's a big one like ending in a 0 of 5...
Torsten is cute. But that is a lot to keep up with.
ReplyDeleteWe took the approach you suggested- dropping all the old anniversaries for the wedding anniversary. Though I try to enforce other anniversaries- ours are easy- Engagement July 3rd (easy since it's right around the 4th) and dating is Halloween. I don't remember when our first date was.
Fortunately, most of the big events in our lives happened on (or very near) big hairy holidays, so it's pretty easy to remember.
ReplyDeleteSo, we used to do that frequent anniversary celebration and it was fun. Then? Then we had kids, and we started celebrating OTHER anniversaries. Like two-hour naps, the day the baby cried MORE than Mommy, taking a shower, five minutes alone, no meltdowns in the grocery store (me or baby)...
Enjoy. It is so nice to have someone who wants to celebrate even the little stuff with you (as long as he doesn't pout if you forget).
We do monthiversary and anniversary, though (mostly because it's been forty months) our monthiversary celebration consists of "Happy Monthiversary!" "Happy Monthiversary!" "I love you" "I love you too." "Wanna rent a movie?" "Nah, I have plans to be on my game."
ReplyDeleteThe anniversaries are usually dinner out and a movie or something small because we're poor. :)
We celebrate two anniversaries (when we started dating and when we moved in together), and one or both of us sometimes has trouble remembering those. Although by having trouble remembering, I mean one of us often loses track of what day it currently is, not that an anniversary is coming up. I'm usually the one to pick up a card, plan a date, etc. She is more likely to be the one saying "Oh yeah, happy anniversary!".
ReplyDeleteWe both are definitely in the PRO camp on wiping the anniversary slate clean and celebrating only the wedding anniversary, but we don't live in Canada. Or Massachusetts. Or California in 20-something days.
We celebrate two wedding anniversaries and that's it. The day we got married in Canada and the day we got "officially" (read: signed the papers) married in the States. It's long and complicated, but it means more celebrating which means more cake! Yay, cake!
ReplyDeleteWe only celebrate one anniversary, but I'm more like Torsten. I love to celebrate everything! Any excuse for a celebrate is good in my book, like hey, IT'S MONDAY! Life is too short not to have fun and celebrate the little things as well as the big ones.
ReplyDeleteI love that Torsten wants to celebrate all of your anniversaries! As long as there's not a major expense / expectation attached to each one, why not?
ReplyDeleteAS and I are both kinda bored with our dating anniversary... guess we need another one to celebrate! (Wink, wink)
Wow, that is definitely a lot of anniversaries to celebrate. We only celebrate our wedding anniversary - although, three days afterwards, one of us will comment that it is the anniversary of our first date (we were married on the 8th and had our first date on the 11th).
ReplyDeleteYeah, I wouldn't be able to handle that.
ReplyDeleteI remember the anniversary of our first date because it was New Year's Eve. How handy. I know in general when we moved in together and when we got engaged (Memorial Day and Sometime In April, respectively). But I couldn't tell you specific dates, and these events usually go by uncelebrated by us.
And I remember our wedding anniversary, of course, but we haven't actually had one yet, so who knows in a few years.
That's hilarious! I was in a long distance relationship for a year and we only saw each other like once every two months, so once he moved back? We celebrated monthly. Now, we still recognize it, but don't get as excited. Usually just a happy anniversary and maybe one of us will make dinner. Pretty low key. We do cool stuff for our year markers though, usually a concert or something. I just love celebrating =)
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend and I celebrate the anniversary of the day we first kissed. Our proper first date was on Valentine's Day, but we would celebrate that anyway. Between those, Christmas, and our birthdays, we celebrate plenty as it is.
ReplyDeleteStill... my parents celebrate the anniversary of THEIR first date, and I find that pretty cute.
We always celebrated our dating anniversary, which was 8/14/94. We stopped when we got married in 2002—a collective decision, though we did go out for a nice dinner on our 10 years of togetherness in 2004.
ReplyDeleteIf you’re celebrating some sort of anniversary all the time, won’t it cheapen the real one? I know you can’t say that to Torsten, but that is totally how I feel. I would liken it to celebrating Bud or Lucy’s conception date in addition to their birthdays each year. It’s a little bit of overkill.
Wow that is a lot. I mean I enjoy saying things like... oh hey we've been together for five months. Neat.
ReplyDeleteAll we're doing is celebrating six months by going out to dinner. No gifts, but just an excuse to get out and have a little fun. We'll probably be going to...
http://www.localsixteen.com/
After that it's going to be yearly. And since we're getting married next year, we'll have that as our anniversary. We made the decision to get married on our two year anniversary to stay consistent, heh.
H and I never celebrated any dating anniversaries. And monthly celebrations are WAY too much for me. We now celebrate our wedding anniversary every year by taking a trip together or just staying in a hotel for the night.
ReplyDeleteWe celebrate the anniversary of our marriage. However, we do acknowledge the anniversary of our first date. Nothing big, just a "Hey, we met X number of years ago TODAY!"
ReplyDeleteGerald does this funny thing were he asks on both of those "anniversaries" if I'm willing to commit to another year. It's like, "Well, four years down. You wanna go for five?" Like I'm signing a cell phone contract or something.
Steve and I don't really remember when we decided we were "official," so I just made up a date, roughly around the same time. Ha. Usually I forget it until a few days later, and I'll say "oh, our whatever-month anniversary was five days ago." We focus on the big ones (3.5 years was March!)
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who is married, yet still does all the others...dating, engagement, etc. She gets mad at her husband when he forgets...
Oh my sweet god. I'm so sorry! I am much more like you, with the lack of caring. (Potentially why I'm single?) I do not enjoy anniversaries, I didn't even when I was HAVING them. Cripes.
ReplyDeleteMy husband was the same way, especially during our dating/engagement period. He used to remind me of the day of our first kiss.
ReplyDeleteThat IS a lot of anniversaries for you to remember, though.
joe is the same as torsten -- he remembers *all* our little anniversaries, and i can't remember the dates. haha. he still likes to celebrate the anniversary of our first date, and of course we have our wedding anniversary now.
ReplyDeleteThat is so awesome! And that last line made me actually lol. TB and I are slightly keeping track of dates just because everything is so new. In two days it'll be a month since our first kiss.
ReplyDeleteAlso, random- I want to see a wedding invitation! Erm, on the blog... not in my mailbox. No worries. :)
That is too funny! We only count our wedding anniversary since we've been married, but for the first year of our marriage I counted every month :) And when we were dating we acknowledged them monthly.
ReplyDeleteOMG I loooove anniversaries of all sorts, but that many would make me paranoid with potential forgetting and present thinking upping. We've only got the actual anniversary and we mark the date with presents (MY FAVORITE PART) and an Outing. This year we are going to leave the baby with my parents and get a hotel room BE STILL MY BEATING HEART.
ReplyDeleteGood grief... High School Boyfriend was the same with anniversaries and it drove me nuts.
ReplyDeleteNow, granted, I haven't been in an actual relationship in an embarrassingly long time, but my rule was always: it's okay to celebrate the monthiversary until you've hit a year. At that point you back off to 6 month increments (but those half-versaries are of the "hey, it's our blank-and-a-half year anniversary, let's use that as an excuse to go out to dinner" variety...")
'Cause yeah... pulling out all the stops for the One Year And One Month Anniversary? Felt totally lame... but hey, that's just me! Clearly Torsten has enough redeeming qualities that we can let him get away with his anniversary enthusiasm :)
ha ha... we do have a couple of anniversaries, so it would be nice to simplify a bit. I think we both use it as an excuse to celebrate whenever we feel like it. Torsten sounds so cute :-)
ReplyDeleteToo funny! A. is the sentimental one of our household, too. Silly boys.
ReplyDeleteHow romantic! And a lot to remember! We just celebrate the wedding anniversary. Sid's the seventh of eight children and birthdays were never special because there were just so many so I make a big deal about birthdays. Anyway, happy anniversary! :)
ReplyDeleteLOL! My darling husband is the same way!
ReplyDeleteHe insists on celebrating our anniversary of getting together- December, our Las Vegas wedding in August and our Icelandic wedding in July- seriously.... I think one is enough.
Maybe its a Northern european guy thing?
aw that is so cute that he likes to celebrate so many anniversaries. my boyfriend is sort of the same way, haha. but i like the idea of weddings wiping the slate clean :)
ReplyDeleteThat is adorable. The last guy I dated was totally the female in the relationship, and I didn't know how to process it. With Torsten, it sounds lovely, though. :-)
ReplyDeleteI, too, am the one that always forgets anniversaries (and birthdays and other important dates). Because my fiance and I agree on everything (ha), we have decided to be normal and have one anniversary, too. Like you're supposed to. I think. But it's gonna be great for me because we're getting married on Halloween. We are totally meant to be.
ReplyDeletethe last guy i dated was the date keeper. don't know why, just the way it was : )
ReplyDeletewhat i wouldnt give for just a LITTLE of that.
ReplyDeleteOM not only did nothing for our first anniversary, but he said to my face that it was unimportant.
one argument, loads of tears and a goodly time of no sex later, he has changed his mind about the importance of our anniversary.
Oh dear! It's kind of sweet tho, that he's that way :)
ReplyDeleteWe only celebrate one - when we first starting dating. I can't imagine having any more. It would drive me bonkers!
you have such a sweet man.
ReplyDeletecount your blessings. you have many. lucky girl.
Just one anniversary for us: September 21st. :-)
ReplyDelete6 years in a few months, wow!
Once you have kids, he'll start forgetting them all (hopefully?). Anniversaries have to move aside for soccer game schedules, birthday parties, etc. We only celebrate our wedding anniversary.
ReplyDelete