First up, from Lacey Bean: Since your wedding is going to be a purple masterpiece, I want to know how long you've had the obsession with the color purple, and how did it start?
Okay, this is only tangentially related to the wedding, but I'll answer it here anyway. To be honest, I don't totally know when my obsession with purple started. I remember that when I was around five years old, I told people that my favorite colors were pink, purple, and blue, but I don't remember when it was that I noticed that purple was far superior to the other two. It just feels like something I've always known.
Chelsea Talks Smack wants to know, What celebrity would you have be your wedding singer?
I am struggling quite a bit with this question, because I am trying to be really practical here and think of someone who is versatile and could sing every type of song, and I'm just not coming up with one. So I'll go with Bon Jovi, because, OMG. Although Torsten would probably prefer Guns N Roses.
Alice asks, What are you most looking forward to about being married?
I love this question! What I'm really looking forward to is a sense of... let's call it relaxed permanence. The feeling that you are officially In It Together, for life. And the fact that everyone else knows it too, and takes it seriously. And also, not having to worry quite as much if my period is late.
Dreamgrrl asks, If you could have 1 elaborate expense at your wedding and NOT have to pay for it - what would it be?
I am split here. I would go for a really insanely expensive photographer, who came as a team and photographed absolutely everything, and also did a trash the dress session and photos all over town. I love the photographer we have chosen and we got a good deal on him, so this is no criticism on him whatsoever. And I'm really excited about seeing our wedding photos, even though the wedding hasn't happened yet. Stellar photos are priceless.
Bacioni wants to know, Have you decided on the wedding fragrance yet (or at least narrowed the choices down)?
The short answer is no. The longer answer is that the amazing Jonniker knows everything there is to know about perfume and is going to help me decide. The longest answer will come in the form of a separate post once the decision-making process has begun (and possibly ended).
Swistle asks, When the bride and groom leave, sometimes there is rice, or birdseed, or bubbles, or something like that. Will you be having something thrown/blown at you?
We haven't decided that yet. Definitely not rice or birdseed. I like the idea of bubbles, but our wedding is at night so I'm not sure how visible they'll be. Maybe sparklers (obviously not thrown--just held)? Or maybe we won't do any kind of grand exit at all. I'm still torn about the idea of leaving our own party early. I just don't know.
And lastly, Hazel wants to know, Can we see a picture of your engagement ring?
Now, since we're talking about relationships here, I have a question for you all. I've noticed that Torsten and I pretty much never use each other's actual names when we're talking to each other. We talk about each other using actual names all the time. But when I talk to him I usually call him Sweetie, and he usually calls me Cutie. Pretty much always, really.
So my question is, is it just us? Do you (or did you, if you're currently single) call your significant other by their given name when talking directly to them? Or do you always use a nickname? If so, what is it?
66 comments:
Beeauuutiful ring!!
Let's see...I call Matt by the following (I like to always mix it up): Matt, my Matt, babe, sweetness, hon, and habibi (that's Arabic for sweetheart). He usually calls me: love or babe and sometimes honey. My favorite is when he calls me love though. He uses that the most. :)
We both use "Hon" a lot. I sometimes call hubby by his name...he rarely calls me by mine. We both call each other Mommy and Daddy most of the time around our son. :-)
We hardly ever call each other by our names either. He is J, JJ and various cutsie nicknames and I am sweetie, cutie and various other cutsie nicknames. The most recent is "hot momma" :)
I love your ring! It's simple and elegant. And gorgeous! Just like you (umm, minus the simple).
Anyhoodle, names: HOM and I call each other "babe" almost all the time. When we do use names, it's strictly nicknames. I won't give his but mine is "Squirt." Yep, Squirt. Romantic, no?
For me it really depends. It depends on what type of mood I am in. I'll use someone's full name when I'm doing the fauz upset thing.
Beautiful ring! Rob almost exclusively calls me honey. So much so that at times I wonder if he has forgotten how to pronounce my name. (It's Lara, with the first syllable rhyming with "car", not Laura with the first syllable rhyming with "sore".) I call him honey and sweetheart and hubbo and rob-o and, on occasion, jackass. ;)
PS, obviously you had a better sense of which colors look nice together as a child than I did. I used to tell people my favorite colors were purple and orange - but only together, not separate.
Your engagement ring is beautiful.
Eternally single reader here but I'm big on nicknames and have nicknames for almost all my friends and family so I know I'd use a nickname for my guy, for sure.
Ooh, pretty ring! Great picture, too! It's hard to get a non-shaky one of the ring, I've found.
We both call each other "kiddo," normally, but real names are for getting attention. Not like, "you're in trouble" attention. More like, "I'm hollering from the other side of the house" attention.
We already discussed this topic pretty in-depth, but I'll share again. Mark and I only usually call each other by our actual names if we're calling across a room where there's other people around. Otherwise, we call each other chew, chewy, bub, bubby, babe, or some variation on any of those. It feels strange to call him Mark!
Also, my favorite colors as a 5 year old were pink, purple and blue too! But I chose blue as my all-time favorite and superior color. :)
I found that the whole time I was reading the post, my eyes kept flicking over to the beautiful, beautiful ring.
I've had three serious long-term relationships, and in NONE of them did either of us use each other's real names. I'm a nicknamer, and I'm attracted to nicknamers.
love the ring and totally agree on the pictures - they are going to be my favorite thing I just know it!
D & I dont really call each other much, we do have a nickname for each other that is the same, and its just awful (mooshy) - but never ever ever in front of people do we call each other anything but our names. never BAAAAAABE! ahhhh!
No, I use shortforms though. Like... I don't know, "Jase" instead of "Jason" of "Fitzy" if his last name was "Fitzgerald" or something?
I use terms like "sugar pants" and "baby doll", but only ironically.
I NEVER call Aaron Aaron unless I am really pissed about something. Otherwise, as you know, he's Pooples or Professor or Stinkles or whatever comes out of my mouth on any given day.
How did you get that good of a ring pic? Mine all look like hell.
I always call him Michael, but he has 100 nicknames for me and hardly ever uses my name. I think it's sweet.
Stunning ring!
We have the same ring! I'm not even saying it's similar - it's the same! So, naturally, I love it!
Maggie has a purple obsession at only 2 years old. Lisa has always been drawn to yellow.
We go through waves of calling each other nicknames. It's rarely as endearing as Cutie and Sweetie - I'll call him Chuck or Dewey, he called me Chunk when I was pregnant (nice, huh?) and often calls me Slim.
Always use nicknames. We're both known as Beans to each other. We also have individual nicknames, mine being Julybug and his being My Love or Pudding Pop. Annnnnnnnnnnnd I just threw up.
Nice rock! Though when I was scrolling down in Google Reader and only got the top inch or so, it totally looked like the top of a woman's torso... I was thinking "Holy crap! What's *that* got to do with anything!??!" :)
As to names, I haven't been in a relationship in, oh, ever, but I remembered thinking it was really sweet when one of the last guys I dated always used my first name when he addressed me, simply because most guys don't do that...
We never call each other by our real names either, which apparently is quite common! Fiji and Tilly, obviously!! And lots of babes, loves, honeys, etc. But I mostly call him babe, and he mostly calls me love. Which is nice.
Also, YES ring!! Ours ARE very similar! Except the band! YAY twins!!
K and I usually call eachother by our names. Although a lot of times he calls me, "Hey, come 'ere!"
I love my nickname for my cat Raquel, though. I call her "Kelski" and she responds to it exactly as if I had said her real name.
Sparklers - What a cute idear!! I say go for it.
Anyways.. When I was in a commited relationship I think the ExAss and I used both "baby" and addressed each other by our names equally.
Love the ring!
LOVE the ring.
i also LOVE this question! i adore hearing other people's cutesy names!
The Horrid Ex REFUSED to use nicknames. like, ever, at all, in any form. another reason i'm better off without him ;-)
there's a current Person Of Interest who calls me "hon" (even over gchat!) which i like..
clancy hardly ever uses my name. his sentences usually start with "hey babe..."
i use his name once in awhile but usually in a teasing manner. "clancy (last name). i cannot believe you!" ;)
gorgeous ring!
I love your ring! So timeless and classic. Very pretty.
C and I always use nicknames. Unless I'm calling him from across the apartment or we're mad at each other. He always comments how weird it is when I say his real name because I hardly ever use it. Our nicknames include Boogy, Babe, Love, Stinks, Loverbutt, and Sweety.
Husband and I hardly every use our real names with each other. Not only do we use disgustingly cute names but we pretty much have our own language.
Our pet names for each other?
You would have to kill me first.
1-love the ring! 2-I'm glad you brought this question up because I've thought about it in the past too and wondered if it was normal that we rarely use eachother's names. I usually call him babe and he will normally call me babe or babydoll.
when I was with dan I called him poo face most of the time. haha!
oh and you should do sparklers for your exit since it's at night and the pictures would be awesome. just saying
(or glow sticks... but that would be a little much. haha)
Dave is like, the FIRST boyfriend to call me by my first name!! And I've noticed that too in past relationships, that they would use "Baby" or other nicknames.
I love your ring! I love ones that are simple and elegant, and showcase the stone without a lot of distracting stuff around it.
Jason & I do both: we'll usually call each other by our names (Jason always says my name - A LOT - during arguments and it drives me up a wall), but in emails, he always calls me Kid and I call him Bogey.
Otherwise, it's Babe or Baby or Dude, or his new favorite for me, Poopdeck.
I also love your ring! Ryan and I call each other by our names quite a bit, but only because we currently live with a 3rd person, and that could get quite confusing otherwise. ;-)
Nice shiny ring young lady! He did well. I never called my significant other by his name. Always "Babe". I even started calling my friends that by mistake sometimes.
I love your ring; so classy!
I usually call the boy Handsome or Babe or sometimes call him Mr. Last Name (but, ya know, with his last name...). He always calls me My Love or Baby.
I love the pet nicknames that couples use. Love!
Great post!
xox
If I think about it hard, I really only use my husband's name when we are arguing. We always use nicknames in an affectionate way, and I am glad for that. A few of them make no sense to others, and all started out as inside jokes:
One
Baby One
Beason
Hon
And sometimes a "meow"
So funny that you asked that question because Bry and I always call each other 'Baby' and barely use our real names unless we're fighting about something. We were just talking about how weird it sounds to actually say the other person's name instead of Babe or Baby. And sometimes we use other nicknames too randomly.
p.s love the ring!
Your ring is beautiful!
To answer your question, I hardly ever call my honey by her actual name when talking to her. Usually I call her honey. We both do, actually. Or, you know, we just start talking since it is just us and the dog living here. I use my honey's actual name when I'm trying to get her attention and she hasn't heard me (if she's zoning out in front of the tv, or if we're out somewhere noisy and "honey" didn't catch her attention).
Or of course as a lesbian couple if we're in a situation where it seems safer to use first names instead of a nickname of the term of endearment variety. (Doesn't happen often, but it does happen).
Gorgeous ring! Have you started looking into your wedding bands yet?
As for names - I do call my husband by his name (Dan) a lot. I often call him Mr. Dan too - not sure why. He uses other names for me a lot more than I do for him. He usually calls me some sort of fruit - peach, my little strawberry. Hmm....I have a feeling I'm going to notice this a lot more now!
I rarely called Eric by his actual name.
I dated a guy once that I hardly ever used his real name and every time I said his name he told me it sounded weird to him.
I loved this post! so fun!
We almost never use names - I suppose if we're with a bunch of people and I had to call to him I would use the nickname version of his real name (instead of honey or sweetie).
I think we're in the minority here, but DH and I do not refer to each other with pet names.
My daughter, on the other hand, I call anything but her name.
Love the engagement ring; mine is also the 'classical, simple' style.
It's usually "babe" with me and my boyfriend, occassionally other silly names, but I can't remember the last time I've called him by his name haha
What a pretty ring!
I always call G by his name, which is Grant. Though every once and awhile I'll call him Babe or something different. We don't really have any nicknames or anything. I guess we aren't really romantic.
Gorgeous ring! What does the wedding band look like? (I mean obviously you don't have it yet, but have you picked it out?)
We rarely use each other's names, now that I'm forced to ponder it. We don't use terms of endearment much either. We must do a lot of "hey you" around here. Romantic, no?
Love the ring! And having sparklers thrown at you *snort!*
My husband and I don't use each other's name often. In fact I'm trying to think of the last time he called me Jess. I think it's just when we're trying to get each other's attention. Or if I'm irked. Then I use his name. It's rare, but EFFECTIVE.
Hubby usually calls me "love of my life." Long but i love it.
Lovely ring! My boy and I use "babe" a lot. That is about the extent of it.
I love the ring. You make me miss my wedding so much!
Hub and I call each other "Hon" pretty much exclusively. I throw in a babe every now and then he'll throw in gorgeous. And it's not uncommon for him to greet me with "what's up slut!" or something equally rude when the kids aren't around.
On a side note-- I almost never call my kids by their real names either. ED is handsome, buddy or bud. CA is Hazel, Lucy/LuLu, or honey-bear. Hub calls her Cait-Cait.
love the ring! D and I call each other by our names almost all the time. I sometimes call him Babe, but less since the kids can copy. He doesn't like being called Babe by the kidlets. lol
He sometimes calls me Babe, but very rarely.
Your ring is. Wow. Gorgeous!
AS and I are big nickname-callers. Our most frequent nickname is MONSTER. (long, long story)
I love this topic too!
BR and I never, and I mean NEVER call each other by our names. We mostly use "lovahs" or "loo". ACK! I know!
That's a very pretty, very elegant engagement ring. I love it. And also, as to the super-humiliating pet name situation, when I was in love (and clearly brain-dead):
He called me cupcake. Constantly. It drove me insane, and I kept telling him to CALL ME AMBER FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST IT IS MY NAME, except he never would. So in retaliation I thought up the worst name I could think of for him, one that would make him blush, and started calling him 'Doll face' all the time. except it became less insulting and more habitual and before I knew it we were cupcake and doll face and oh god I can't believe I just admitted to that.
I have never used terms of endearment with a boyfriend. Then again, I've had only one serious and long-term relationship, but even then, I was Stef and he was [firstname] and that was that. I have a friend who always, ALWAYS calls her husband "Hon" and he always, ALWAYS calls her "Babe," and I don't really get it, but I'm not them and they're not me. Maybe someday I'll meet a guy I'm crazy about enough that I'm OK with the little nicknames. I hope! :-)
My ex and I used "Hon" mostly.
Hmm, I hadn't thought of that but I guess The Fella and I do use terms of endearment more than our actual names when addressing each other.
It's coming! Don't hate me! It's just that I had to order you a few samples and they are coming so that I can send them to YOOOOOUUUUUU.
Since my relationship with the SO is kinda on the way out, I'm not sure I can leave any sort of relevant advice. He doesn't call me anything, not my name, not honey, not hey you. It's ok, change isn't always bad!
I forgot one that we use ALL THE TIME!! DON and DONALD. Seriously, that is what we call each other most. I'm Don, he's Donald. Even in PUBLIC! How weird are we!
Hi Jess, thanks for stopping by and saying hi! You're the first person I've ever "met" with another CL marriage in the works. I have several eHarmony/Match friends, but no CL. Congrats to you as well!
We rarely use names...it actually feels weird when we do! We tend to use babe or baby.
Good question...I think we generally use each other's names though I do enjoy turning his first name, middle initial and last name (both short and almost laughably "generic" - think something like Joe C. Smith) into song. I like the tune of Beethoven's 5th. Needless to say, he hates it. Even more needless to say, I enjoy it even more for that very reason.
DT
I saw a purple bra with a gorgeous avocado trim and thought of your wedding. What are your accent colours? Purple, purple and more purple? I can't wait for pictures!!
I use Phil's name surprisingly often, since I don't usually use first names directly much at all. He's also often darling or bear, or pretty much any pet name I come up with..
(I also LOVE the ring!)
I always call all my boyfriends "baby" instead of their name (which I realize is really annoying to everyone else). My first boyfriend called me "Peanut" which I absolutely loved.
Oh, and TB calls me "Rookie."
Steve and I call each other "Love" about 95% of the time. Sometimes we throw in a "Hon" or our actual names here and there.
I once had a boyfriend who called me sweetie a lot, but almost exclusively in a really patronising way. He picked it up from his parents and it was really annoying. Otherwise he'd call me by name.
Your ring is IDENTICAL to mine. I knew we were BFF's.
Mike and I call each other Babe. And sometime F*cker. But mostly Babe.
Jamie
Bon Jovi is GREAT CHOICE. I'm totally with you.
My hubby calls me 'Grandma' because though I am 31, I knit and crochet and just generally have granny hobbies. Because of that, I call him 'grandad'. Sometimes we forget and call each other that in public or in work situations which gets a few amused looks!
*just found your blog today*
I think I somehow missed this post. How did I miss this post?! Your ring is gorgeous! My husband usually calls me by my first name. Same for me....except I find that I call him 'Honey' with some regularity. I'm trying to stop though because it's almost always when I'm cross with him. Boo.
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