Germany: In-laws edition

Hi! This time I'm really back! We got home last night after 20 straight hours of traveling (note to self: never again agree to fly through Dallas when going from Europe to the East Coast. It will add approximately 6 hours to your trip). I'm sorry to say that I was way too exhausted to do anything with photos, like upload them or organize them, so a full trip recap with photos will have to wait until tomorrow. Today I thought I'd go into a discussion of the in-laws, since that part doesn't really need photos.

So, first of all, things with Torsten's parents went really well. Everything was much more relaxed than last time, and his mother was really nice and not at all passive-aggressive. Both his parents were really friendly to me, and even managed to discuss wedding stuff with us without getting shocked and appalled expressions at their face (assumption being that appalled faces have to do with cost of wedding and not idea of their son marrying me of all people, but you never know).

And the biggest miracle of all is that his mother did NOT say anything to him about how he is always welcome to come home if things don't work out with me! She hardly even cried when she said goodbye, AND she hugged me like five times and seemed sad to see me go too, AND when she was saying goodbye to me she said all sorts of nice things in German, which means that I didn't really understand them but I understood enough to tell that they were nice!

Plus, Torsten's dad's birthday party was great. It lasted for about eight hours and even though I don't speak the language, I had a great time and wasn't bored until the last hour or so, when everyone started feeling the effect of all the beer they had drunk and having long, drawn-out conversations that Torsten didn't translate. His whole extended family was really nice and friendly, even the ones that Torsten said aren't usually that nice. And a couple of them spoke basic English, so I actually managed to have a few conversations over the course of the evening.

And Torsten's dad gave a toast thanking everyone for coming, and he talked about how wonderful his wife was, and then he talked about how wonderful Torsten was, and then he talked about how wonderful I was. I didn't understand most of what he was saying, but I could tell that it was sweet and well-intentioned, and I really appreciated the gesture.

Basically, unlike last time, I actually felt included in the family on this trip, and it seemed that his parents felt that way too. And it was such a relief after the sensation I had last time of not being part of the family at all.

Even his grandmother was nice, and she is never nice. She seems to like me a lot, although it's hard to tell why since we can't actually have a conversation at all. The first time she saw me she went on about how much weight I had lost and how good I looked. Of course, then she negated that the next time by telling Torsten that she couldn't believe how much weight I had lost, and that I must have been really fat before. Oh, and she also asked him if I would go with him if he ever moved away from DC. Because apparently marriage means something different in the US than it does in Germany. Still, though, she wasn't being mean or malicious when she asked those questions--she's just an old woman and slightly confused and definitely tactless. So I choose not to take offense.

Anyway, you guys asked a bunch of great questions yesterday (and if you haven't asked one yet, feel free to go back and do so now!), and I do not want to answer them all at once, because oh my god that would be a really long post. So instead, I will try to answer the questions in posts that they are relevant to. And there was one question yesterday about in-laws, so I will go ahead and answer it now. It's from Marie, who asks, "If you could tell your soon to be mother-in-law what you really think of her (without any repercussions), what would you say?"

My answer to this question probably would have been a lot different before this last trip. Given how well things went this time, I don't actually have that much I would feel compelled to say to her. Before, I would have had plenty to say about how I would really like her to accept that even though I'm American and likely to keep her son from ever moving in next door with her, he is happy with me and that should be the most important thing to her, as his mother. And also probably something about her, er, frugality.

But at the moment I'm in a pretty good mood about the whole in-law thing, so I will end by focusing on the positive. My future parents-in-law like me! I think! And I like them too.